Dealing With Stress

[Jestgar]

OK, so I have a more than full time job, a three hour commute, I'm taking an upper level math class (and will be taking more) and I actively dislike my boss. I work out 2 hours a day, 5 days a week, and about an hour on the other two. All of my housework gets done on the weekend, including making all my food for the week, since I don't have time to cook.

At the beginning of the quarter I do reasonably well, but at this point I spend my weekends huddled in a ball under a blankie eating glutino pretzels and turtle mountain ice cream with extra cookies crumbled in it.

It occurs to me that there must be better ways of dealing with stress, so I'm looking for suggestions. I'm open to anything....

[JNBunnie1]

  On 5/29/2010 at 10:23 PM, Jestgar said:

OK, so I have a more than full time job, a three hour commute, I'm taking an upper level math class (and will be taking more) and I actively dislike my boss. I work out 2 hours a day, 5 days a week, and about an hour on the other two. All of my housework gets done on the weekend, including making all my food for the week, since I don't have time to cook.

At the beginning of the quarter I do reasonably well, but at this point I spend my weekends huddled in a ball under a blankie eating glutino pretzels and turtle mountain ice cream with extra cookies crumbled in it.

It occurs to me that there must be better ways of dealing with stress, so I'm looking for suggestions. I'm open to anything....

Um, all I get is that that commute is killin ya. Any way to telecommute?

[mushroom]

That kind of schedule is okay on a short-term basis, but as a way of life... no wonder you are stressed. Do you at least get to eat breakfast and do your homework on the ferry? Relax with a cocktail on the way home? Perhaps if you could cut back a bit on the exercise schedule, then you wouldn't have to work off all those cookies, ice cream and pretzels because you would have more time and wouldn't be so stressed??

I dunno, Jess, it sounds like a killer to me. I did it for one semester, school four nights a week, an occasional Saturday class thrown in, and I was a wreck at the end of it. And my commuting time including school was half an hour less than yours. I only managed it because there was light at the end of the tunnel (and it was not a train)!

[kareng]

Omg, Jess! And you still have time to enlighten and kid-around with all of us! Are you making use of your time on the ferry? Maybe you could swim alongside the boat - get 2 things done at once? . Seriously, is there an end insight to some part of this? Like the school part? If so, I would focus on that and tough it out a little longer. If not, you may need to re-prioritize or get help. I know sometimes I just have to leave something undone and do the most important ones.

[ciavyn]

There is no way to destress without giving up something or combining things. I did what you are doing for the last semester (also a student) and it just about did me in.

Thoughts: Any way to cut down on the commute? I'm assuming if there was, you would have done it, but maybe it's worth looking into again?

Exercise: how about three days a week instead of seven (or did I read that wrong)? If it is something you are passionate about, then that is different, but if it is something you do just to stay in shape, you can definitely cut back and still enjoy physical fitness...and make sure it is something you love.

Food prep: I've scaled way back. We do basics for now, and i have more fun with it when I have a day off. Maybe do things that are simpler, like wraps and leftovers? I don't know if that helps. But that is what I do.

I do know what it is like to be overwhelmed. Take some time off -- some mental health days and reassess what you can change, and what you just have to stick with for the interim. Best of luck!

[tarnalberry]

you won't like my reply, but it comes from being in a similar place, and getting fibromyalgia as the "reward": cut back.

yes, you can. you can say no to anything (for me, this included my job). you won't like having to do it, you won't like the choices it requires, but that's how you deal with it. deciding *what* you cut back on is never easy, but something's got to give, or you'll find yourself - well, curled up with a carton of ice cream a little too often.

[jerseyangel]

  On 5/29/2010 at 10:23 PM, Jestgar said:

OK, so I have a more than full time job, a three hour commute, I'm taking an upper level math class (and will be taking more) and I actively dislike my boss. I work out 2 hours a day, 5 days a week, and about an hour on the other two. All of my housework gets done on the weekend, including making all my food for the week, since I don't have time to cook.

At the beginning of the quarter I do reasonably well, but at this point I spend my weekends huddled in a ball under a blankie eating glutino pretzels and turtle mountain ice cream with extra cookies crumbled in it.

It occurs to me that there must be better ways of dealing with stress, so I'm looking for suggestions. I'm open to anything....

Ah dear Jess, I'm not surprised--you've been burning the candle at both ends for some time now. Sounds like you really need to try and pace yourself--maybe start by looking at your list of responsibilities/activities and put them in order of importance to you.

Go to the bottom of the list and see where you can cut back (and yes, it's perfectly ok) because when you get into a situation like this it's time to re-evaluate. I find that when I take action with whatever I'm dealing with, it re-energizes me to keep going forward--even wee steps will help get you out from under the blankie

[Jestgar]

Well hell.

I do study on the ferry. Right now I need the working out part to keep me from screaming obscenities at work. Boss nixed the telecommuting idea because he thinks people should be there. I'm technically part time at work, but that doesn't really mean less than 40 hours. (I'm thinking I may need to enforce that a bit better.)

The hard part is that I like all the things that I do. The yucky stuff - like housework - is achieved at a bare minimum. My meals are all crockpot things. I use paper plates as much as possible. I have a ton of clothes so I don't have to do laundry every weekend.

I have managed not to have a bawling breakdown this quarter, but I think it's because my assistant is doing a lot more of my work (and it's costing me a fortune in chocolate ). I've been considering cutting back my work hours even more (and truly not working those hours), but I'll have to go through my budget to make sure it's doable.

[ravenwoodglass]

My gosh no wonder you are stressed. With all you are doing, well it would kill me. One thing you might think of is hiring someone to help out with the housework and cooking. Perhaps your local high school or a college close by might have a student that would welcome a few extra dollars or perhaps even a older adult who is retired could help out on the weekends. At least then you could have a bit of time to destress in a hot tub, do a bit of yoga or even nap while they are doing the chores. Even if it means cutting back somewhere else it would be worth it to save your health and sanity.

Also thank you so much for being here and helping others when your life is so filled to the brim. You are obviously someone who really cares.

Another thing to think about might be a change of job, hard perhaps with the country in the state it is in but it might be something to consider.

I hope when you say your job is 'part time' with full time hours that they are not calling it part time just to avoid giving you benefits. If that is the case I would definately be looking for something else even if the pay was a bit lower. Your health is too important, and you are to, for a company to take advantage of you like that.

[Jestgar]

  On 5/31/2010 at 9:46 PM, ravenwoodglass said:

Also thank you so much for being here and helping others when your life is so filled to the brim.

Coming from someone like you, who has been so consistent, and so gentle and kind to everyone on this forum, this means a lot. :wub:

I would love to change jobs, but I've been looking for more than two years and there is nothing. That's why I'm back in school. I need to feel like I have some control over my life, even if it makes it busier.

I would love to have extra help, but right now my kitchen is still being remodeled and I have stuff all over my house where it doesn't belong. I'm trying to get that finished as soon as possible so I can regain peace in my own home, at least.

You guys here are sometimes my only touch with 'real' people. I need you all.

[kareng]

  On 5/31/2010 at 11:44 PM, Jestgar said:

You guys here are sometimes my only touch with 'real' people. I need you all.

Ahh!

[Oscar]

  On 5/31/2010 at 11:44 PM, Jestgar said:

You guys here are sometimes my only touch with 'real' people. I need you all.

Hmm. Some of us are, perhaps, not as real as the rest.

[psawyer]

  On 6/1/2010 at 1:20 AM, Oscar said:

Hmm. Some of us are, perhaps, not as real as the rest.

The rest of us are here for you, Jess.

You know how to reach me. I'll be here for you.

[Jestgar]

:wub:

Tomorrow I get to interview someone with less experience than I have for a position my boss apparently thought I was so unqualified for that he didn't even bother to tell me I was unqualified before announcing that he was recruiting someone.

I've been told I can be intimidating.

I'm curious to find out if this is the case. :coldasdeathglare:

[mushroom]

  On 6/1/2010 at 2:03 AM, Jestgar said:

:wub:

Tomorrow I get to interview someone with less experience than I have for a position my boss apparently thought I was so unqualified for that he didn't even bother to tell me I was unqualified before announcing that he was recruiting someone.

I've been told I can be intimidating.

I'm curious to find out if this is the case. :coldasdeathglare:

Make him/her squirm

[nikki-uk]

  On 6/1/2010 at 2:03 AM, Jestgar said:

I've been told I can be intimidating.

I'm curious to find out if this is the case. :coldasdeathglare:

Only because they don't know that you're a big softy underneath

I hope you find some balance soon Jess, ....'cos just reading your schedule is making me tired

...but I do also find that exercise 'de-stresses' me so understand your need for it!

[jerseyangel]

  On 6/2/2010 at 10:13 AM, nikki-uk said:

Only because they don't know that you're a big softy underneath

So true.

Are you feeling any calmer, Jess? I'm sure you will find a way to balance it all so that you can still do all the things you love. Make the most of the "quiet" moments you do have.

[my.oh.my]

I'd say that a boss who demoralizes you like that can be a huge factor to causing you stress....

[kareng]

  On 6/1/2010 at 2:03 AM, Jestgar said:

:wub:

Tomorrow I get to interview someone with less experience than I have for a position my boss apparently thought I was so unqualified for that he didn't even bother to tell me I was unqualified before announcing that he was recruiting someone.

I've been told I can be intimidating.

I'm curious to find out if this is the case. :coldasdeathglare:

Maybe to mere mortals but not to us Psillies.

[Jestgar]

well, I didn't manage to make any body cry, but we'll see if they want to come back...

[jerseyangel]

  On 6/2/2010 at 7:00 PM, Jestgar said:

well, I didn't manage to make any body cry

Hey...it's a start!

[nikki-uk]

  On 6/2/2010 at 7:00 PM, Jestgar said:

well, I didn't manage to make any body cry, but we'll see if they want to come back...

...Then you are clearly slacking in your 'intimidating' reputation

[JNBunnie1]

  On 6/2/2010 at 8:50 PM, nikki-uk said:

...Then you are clearly slacking in your 'intimidating' reputation

Yeah, get on the stick there Jyess!!

[debmidge]

All I want to say is that I understand; I'm going thru same type of stress. I have no suggestions. Remain calm & keep the course.

Best wishes - DM

[Gluten-Is-Icky]

I know this is a little late, but now I want to know how the interview turned out, and if your life is any less stressful. Unfortunately I don't many ways to destress, just started going to the gym, myself. I can understand how someone would get attatched to the endorphins and whatnot. Also can relate to being in a job that your not fond of. I think the main thing that mellows me out, is right after I've cleaned the house and know I won't need to worry about it.

Anyway, Update pls.