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Hello? Are You Even Listening?

Rowena

By Rowena
in Coping with Celiac Disease

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Rowena Rising Star
Rowena
Posted

So my family always has this HUGE Christmas Eve get together, with a lot of food, stuff I can't have of course, with every single one of my intolerances present. So my mom, who loves to make more work for herself for some odd reason, decides, Oh I better make some canneloni you can eat. Well me, being the horrid daughter I am, can't say no to canneloni. But when I ask her to do one little favor to make sure I don't get sick, (keep everything very clean and don't make mine within a certain amount of time of floury items she's made) she freaks. "How long ye want me to wait? A week?"

I said no, even just an hour is okay, (Though I probably should have said more but I wasn't going to argue). She said, okay fine. I'll make your's first. But she was still ticked that I would even ask such a thing. Sorry, but if yer gonna cook for someone who has special dietary needs, don't you think you should listen to them so you don't make them sick?

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jenngolightly Contributor
jenngolightly
Posted

It's still fresh in your head and it seemed like your mom was ticked off that she had to make adjustments to her cooking schedule, but after a little bit you'll gain some perspective. Your mom is so wonderful that she'll do this for you! So many people with Celiac don't have family members as great as that. Giver her a hug from me. :)

missy'smom Collaborator
missy'smom
Posted

Family relationships are complicated so I'm not going to take your mom's side but what stood out to me is that you asked her to wait but she offered to make yours first which shows that she has some understanding of what would be safe for you.

GlutenFreeManna Rising Star
GlutenFreeManna
Posted

It will actually be much better if she makes yours first. I have read on here that flour dust can stay in the air for up to four hours. Is there any reason you can't be in the kitchen while she's making yours to "help" her? If you phrase it more as you want to learn how to make the gluten free cannelloni yourself she may be more receptive. That way you really can learn how to do it and supervise at the same time to make sure the preparation is safe. If she is making the pasta from scratch and using a pasta maker or a rolling pin, you will want her to put some wax paper or somethign between the gluten-free dough and the rolling pin or the rolloers on the pasta maker so you don't get any CC. It would probably be easier/safer to find gluten-free pasta shells already made and then fill them. Then if they are baked at the same time as the gluten stuff be sure they are tightly covered with foil on top.

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

I'm on your 'side' on this. The diet is still relatively new to you, you're probably still in the paranoid phase, and depending on the severity of your symptoms you may not want to be a guinea pig during the holidays. If you're already resolved to do this, then go for it, but if you're still hesitant, talk over your feelings with your mom. She just wants you to know that she loves you, and food is a big way of doing that.

The first time I went to visit my parents after changing my diet, I brought my own food, and went through my mom's kitchen with her and talked about reading labels, and cc, and all the things that become a part of our lives when we eat differently from the main stream. She wasn't insulted or angry that I was telling her how to cook. I was very open about my new found horror at what's in our "food". You and your mom can go through this together, if you take the steps to make it happen this way.

shopgirl Contributor
shopgirl
Posted

Holiday stress, maybe?

Someone kept me waiting twenty minutes yesterday and I flipped out because I have a list of half a dozen things to bake and/or cook, presents to wrap, errands to run, etcetera, etcetera. Maybe mom is just a little stressed out because of the holidays.

Don't give up on her though. :)

luvs2eat Collaborator
luvs2eat
Posted

I think gluten cooks, w/ the best intentions, want to cook for us so we feel included ... and become a little intimidated when they realize what's involved. It's easier for us as we're used to it, but it can be daunting when you have to think of minute details... about CC.

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Rowena Rising Star
Rowena
Posted
  • Author

Okay, I'll have you know, that I love my mom, and I am thrilled she wants too try and do things for me. (My MIL does that too) I love that she wants to include me in the celebrations. It makes me feel less forgotten, (which I often feel in my family since I am the baby and the next youngest is eight and a half years older than me, so I am still at that awkward stage where the age difference is so huge that my siblings tend to think i don't get what they are saying or doing). But I am still a little frustrated, because I don't think my mom understands yet quite how bad this is, and how hard it is. So when I ask her to do just little things, it frustrates me that she is frustrated.

Also note, I am a little ticked too because my mother enjoys making more work for herself, and she is sick this holiday season and wont let me do anything to help her. And my mom is one of those people who when she gets a cold is sicker than any other person with a cold. I called her and didn't even recognize her voice.

As for the advice of setting some time to help my mom, she won't let me. She likes to do everything herself...

OH SHOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I FORGOT TO TELL MY MOM NO WOODEN SPOONS!

Anyway you all have good advice... (And shopgiel... holiday stress? Oh boy, you wouldn't believe it. My family has a bad habit of making the holidays more stressful than they really are... Hence the reason why both my mom and I are frustrated probably)

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

tell her to bag the whole thing and you're both going out for martinis for christmas.

Rowena Rising Star
Rowena
Posted
  • Author

hahahaha well jest, I did end up telling her today to bag the whole thing when she got frustrated when she couldn't find xanthan gum. (To which she replied, but I want you to be able to eat what we eat... I said, "Mom, I am used to not being able to eat what you guys eat." So she then told me fine... But she did seem a little disappointed.... Oh well...)

GlutenFreeManna Rising Star
GlutenFreeManna
Posted

hahahaha well jest, I did end up telling her today to bag the whole thing when she got frustrated when she couldn't find xanthan gum. (To which she replied, but I want you to be able to eat what we eat... I said, "Mom, I am used to not being able to eat what you guys eat." So she then told me fine... But she did seem a little disappointed.... Oh well...)

It's probably too late now, but could you ask for something else that is naturally gluten free and easy to make, but still a special treat for you? I'm making myself lamb. I'm doing it Open Original Shared Link, but it's expensive so I don't buy it very often. I will share it with my friends, but the lamb and a ceasar salad will be all I'm having for Christmas dinner while everyone else eats gluteny stuff. Oh I'm also making a pumpkin custard for myself for dessert.

Judy3 Contributor
Judy3
Posted

tell her to bag the whole thing and you're both going out for martinis for christmas.

This one made me literally laugh out loud... thank you! :D

anabananakins Explorer
anabananakins
Posted

OH SHOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I FORGOT TO TELL MY MOM NO WOODEN SPOONS!

This made me laugh out loud. I forgot to tell my mum no wooden spoons. I caught it before any liquid was added so we kept the flour and just switched spoons - I figured at that point the spoon couldn't have transfered too much badness. Hope you were ok too!

Rowena Rising Star
Rowena
Posted
  • Author

Okay, so instead of eating what everyone else was having, I ate a salad... Yeah, lettuce, spinach, and sundried tomato vinagrette dressing. I had chicken and vegetables to go with it, but I just wanted salad... Is that crazy or what?

(And of course, I never heard the end of it from my siblings. Hahaha)

So I guess it doesn't matter that I didn't tell her no wooden spoons.

Though I didn't say no to my MIL either, or tell her about wooden spoons... So I think I may have gotten sick from that... (Though not sure which made me sick... All I know is I didn't feel good saturday or sunday.)

cap6 Enthusiast
cap6
Posted

I feel like I am always telling friends the exact same thing... "I am used to not eating what you are. I honestly don't miss it." They don't seem to believe me and still don't want to eat certain stuff in front of me. Don't know how to make others feel more comfortable.

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