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Gluten Free And The Holidays

hal2me

By hal2me
in Coping with Celiac Disease

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hal2me Newbie
hal2me
Posted

Hello Everyone!

I'm new to this forum. Today I decided to register because of the upcoming holiday. Every year, my in-laws order Chinese food for Christmas dinner. They never offer to make anything for me or have something I can eat. I do bring my own food, but I feel excluded from the meal. It hurts my feelings that every year they do this and every year they ask me why I cannot eat the Chinese food. As I explain to them for the 100th time that I have celiac disease and cannot eat the food, my MIL says I am rude because I do not eat what they bought.

I am so angry because I feel like they do not listen to me at all. I do not expect them to have an entirely gluten free meal for me, but how hard is it to pick up some fruit or veggies so I can have something to eat? Every year while everyone is eating Chinese food, I am eating a peanut butter sandwich or some pasta with sauce I made at home while I get looks for not eating the meal. It sounds silly, but I feel excluded when I cannot eat what everyone else is having. Does anyone else feel like this? Especially at the holidays?

I've hosted dinner at my home in the past, but all they do is complain that the food does not taste good and that they have to be mindful of which butter tub to use.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Happy Holidays!

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GFreeMO Proficient
GFreeMO
Posted

I feel the exact same way. This year my sister is having lasagna, french bread and salad which I am sure will be gluteney from CC. There wont be anything that I can eat either. I am bringing my own food. I use to bring things to share but my bro in law wont touch my food and everyone else tries it but they never eat it. They nibble and push it around on their plates.

Just take your own food. Make something really yummy and warm it up in the microwave.

It's hard to feel so different...I go through the exact same thing.

tennisman Contributor
tennisman
Posted

I feel sorry for both of you :(

hal2me I feel angry reading your post, it's really bad your MIL thinks you are rude because you can't eat the food. It's ridiculous how bad some people can be :angry: For christmas you should buy your in-laws a book about celiac disease :P

Happy Christmas :)

hal2me Newbie
hal2me
Posted
  • Author

Thank you both for the kinds words. It's nice to know that I am not alone with this.

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Thank you both for the kinds words. It's nice to know that I am not alone with this.

Where is their child, that you are married to, during this nonsense? Some in- laws will never like the person their child married. So you talking to them won't do any good. Your wife needs to step up here. Also, if you know it's Chinese, make something similar to take with you to eat.

hal2me Newbie
hal2me
Posted
  • Author

Where is their child, that you are married to, during this nonsense? Some in- laws will never like the person their child married. So you talking to them won't do any good. Your wife needs to step up here. Also, if you know it's Chinese, make something similar to take with you to eat.

Hi kareng!

Actually, I am the wife and my husband is their child :D You are right, talking to them never helps. My husband talks to them also and has tried to arrange it so we don't have to be there for dinner, but then he never hears the end of it. We are expected to be there for dinner. I took your advice and made some homemade chop suey to bring with me. The day of Christmas I'll cook some rice to eat with it. Thanks for the great idea!!

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Hi kareng!

Actually, I am the wife and my husband is their child :D You are right, talking to them never helps. My husband talks to them also and has tried to arrange it so we don't have to be there for dinner, but then he never hears the end of it. We are expected to be there for dinner. I took your advice and made some homemade chop suey to bring with me. The day of Christmas I'll cook some rice to eat with it. Thanks for the great idea!!

Sorry about the gender mix- up. :) I find it's easier if I can bring something similar to what they are eating....or a bag of Fritos and a Snickers bar .

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cap6 Enthusiast
cap6
Posted

If I don't know what is being served then I call ahead and ask so that I can bring something similiar. Maybe that would help so you don't feel so left out. It's hard to always be different. I have been glutened at a gathering though for the last time. From now on I will be bringing my own food no matter what. It's just safer.

eatmeat4good Enthusiast
eatmeat4good
Posted

Hello Everyone!

I'm new to this forum. Today I decided to register because of the upcoming holiday. Every year, my in-laws order Chinese food for Christmas dinner. They never offer to make anything for me or have something I can eat. I do bring my own food, but I feel excluded from the meal. It hurts my feelings that every year they do this and every year they ask me why I cannot eat the Chinese food. As I explain to them for the 100th time that I have celiac disease and cannot eat the food, my MIL says I am rude because I do not eat what they bought.

I am so angry because I feel like they do not listen to me at all. I do not expect them to have an entirely gluten free meal for me, but how hard is it to pick up some fruit or veggies so I can have something to eat? Every year while everyone is eating Chinese food, I am eating a peanut butter sandwich or some pasta with sauce I made at home while I get looks for not eating the meal. It sounds silly, but I feel excluded when I cannot eat what everyone else is having. Does anyone else feel like this? Especially at the holidays?

I've hosted dinner at my home in the past, but all they do is complain that the food does not taste good and that they have to be mindful of which butter tub to use.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Happy Holidays!

I would say "I am not trying to be rude when I don't eat your food, but people with Celiac disease are prone to developing intestinal cancers and I would like to be here for a few more Christmas's with y'all if you don't mind." Then I would smile, grab my salad and walk away. I might also say that "I have missed a few Christmas's before I knew what was wrong with me....and I'd rather not miss this one being sick thank you for understanding."

Just my 2 cents.

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

Don't go. Your husband tells them he's tired of watching his wife be unhappy at Christmas and he's taking you out for dinner. You'll come to their house after everyone has eaten and spend some time with them then.

Any issues they have with it, the hubby responds with "I don't want to see my wife hurt. Wouldn't you do the same?"

TooManyHats Rookie
TooManyHats
Posted

I intend on explaining things in reference to a peanut allergy. Would you expect someone with a peanut allergy to eat nuts? Of course not. Then why would you expect me to eat something that could potentially kill me? Say what you mean, mean what you say, and don't say it mean. Case closed. Smile and enjoy your meal.

CeliacMom2008 Enthusiast
CeliacMom2008
Posted

I like Jestgar's idea! I would probably lean toward a response of "No, rude is being so insistent that I poison myself in front of you." I'm so sorry. I wish you could swing by my house and I'd give you a big plate of gluten-free cookies!!!

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