Jump to content

  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):

    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

How Do I Talk To My Boyfriend About Kissing?

WinterSong

Recommended Posts

WinterSong Community Regular
WinterSong
Posted

Does anyone have any good advice about talking to their significant other about kissing after he/she eats gluten?

I'm sure a lot of non-celiacs would think that it's silly, but I know it's a real concern. Yes, it does take the spontaneousness out of things and may mean carrying a portable toothbrush to restaurants. But how do I talk to him about it without making it seem like a huge deal? He's supportive of me being gluten-free, but at the same time I can tell that things may get a little overwhelming for him once we, for instance, try going out to eat or to parties. So I'm trying to find the easiest way to talk about it.

Any advice? :unsure:

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Does anyone have any good advice about talking to their significant other about kissing after he/she eats gluten?

I'm sure a lot of non-celiacs would think that it's silly, but I know it's a real concern. Yes, it does take the spontaneousness out of things and may mean carrying a portable toothbrush to restaurants. But how do I talk to him about it without making it seem like a huge deal? He's supportive of me being gluten-free, but at the same time I can tell that things may get a little overwhelming for him once we, for instance, try going out to eat or to parties. So I'm trying to find the easiest way to talk about it.

Any advice? :unsure:

Hopefully, if he is your boyfriend, you can talk about this. You could try a funny approach. We will not be swapping spito, chewing gum or crumbs.

Really, you should wait until your married. :blink:

Lol

WinterSong Community Regular
WinterSong
Posted
  • Author

Hopefully, if he is your boyfriend, you can talk about this. You could try a funny approach. We will not be swapping spito, chewing gum or crumbs.

Really, you should wait until your married. :blink:

Lol

Haha funny how we have to have a "safe kissing" talk. Maybe we should just put plastic bags over our lips. Abstinence is the only truly safe way!

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Haha funny how we have to have a "safe kissing" talk. Maybe we should just put plastic bags over our lips. Abstinence is the only truly safe way!

That's perfect! "Joe, we need to have a Talk about safe kissing. Until someone invents lip condoms, you need to brush, floss, rinse well."

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

My hub said do what they do in Annie Hall - get the goodnight kiss out of the way at the beginning of the date. He thinks you should present your date with a pretty gift bag with a toothbrush & toothpaste.

WinterSong Community Regular
WinterSong
Posted
  • Author

Haha, I'm thinking I should just tell him to read this topic. Pretty funny. :P

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Hub said if it's a bad date, just tell the guy he can take the bag home with him. My 18 year old son looked a bit horrified at the first kiss problem. One of the girls he liked a while back had Celiac. Should I ask him his advice? :ph34r:

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


BillJ Rookie
BillJ
Posted

Heres your new Mantra for him .... Glut on you lips ...No sugar from these lips ! or a little more racey one ..... Got Glut ..NO FRUIT !! Make its silly thing ....Before telling him make sure he is well aware of what gluten means to you and then one he has a grasp of it which it sounds like ..Just cutely tell him something like above ! If he is a nice guy he will laugh ...Then tell him ...you know I am serious right ! :D

WinterSong Community Regular
WinterSong
Posted
  • Author

So I tried to tell him and make it seem as small of an issue as possible. But it didn't go well. I don't know what to do. :unsure:

tea-and-crumpets Explorer
tea-and-crumpets
Posted

It's a little different because we're married, but my husband knows that when he eats gluten, at work or what have you, he has to brush before he gets home. It's the first thing I ask when he walks in the door and leans in. :)

Your boyfriend should be willing to brush his teeth for you. If you had a peanut allergy, would he smooch you after eating a pb and j sandwich? That has literally killed people. Plus he gets the benefit of better oral hygiene!

If he won't do this small thing, I think it says a lot about his character, especially if he knows it makes you sick.

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

So I tried to tell him and make it seem as small of an issue as possible. But it didn't well. I don't know what to do. :unsure:

My sweetie gets no lip kisses after gluten, but he does get them all over the rest of his face. Now, if we're going out to dinner he'll kiss me (thoroughly :ph34r: :ph34r: ) in the car before we go in if he's planning on having a beer, or a gluteny dinner. It makes it kinda fun since we use the gluten excuse to play, rather than restrict.

mushroom Proficient
mushroom
Posted

Aaaww, that's really too bad :( I don't know what to suggest :o Tell him you don't want to get "sick" of him?? No, probably not :ph34r: What did he say?

WinterSong Community Regular
WinterSong
Posted
  • Author

Aaaww, that's really too bad :( I don't know what to suggest :o Tell him you don't want to get "sick" of him?? No, probably not :ph34r: What did he say?

He thinks that I'm being ridiculous and overly paranoid. I told him that it will make me sick...I'm at a loss of what to do... :(

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

He thinks that I'm being ridiculous and overly paranoid. I told him that it will make me sick...I'm at a loss of what to do... :(

I don't know how old you are. If he's 20 then I might get his reaction.

He doesn't believe that a crumb will make you sick. Maybe you could get him some info about that fact. But, if he won't do this little thing for you....well, our funny ideas will work for your next dating prospect. :)

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Just talked to hub. Told him BF thinks it's silly. He just shook his head and laughed. He said, " you aren't getting any, Buddy."

My 15 & 18 year old boys are horrified that a boy would make his gluten-free sick. A good gluten-free is hard to come by. They would definitely brush their teeth, stand on their head and clap their feet and/or put on deodorant if a girl would want to kiss them.

Almendra Apprentice
Almendra
Posted

Paranoid? Really.

My hubs was with me during my diagnosis AND seen my waist expand inches in hours post-glutening - and noticed it shrinking later (often weeks later). He's seen me go from bubbly to miserable after a glutening. He gets it.

But really, should a girl have to get kissed after he has a big bowl of pasta - and have him watch what happens to her body over the next few days? How much is he, then, asking of you? The sleepover of a lifetime (grrrr) - and there's no way you deserve to be a celiac science experiment.

If he's already not willing to kill this little dragon for you this early in the relationship when the fires are supposed to be burning, then he's not your real prince anyway. He's a poser.

WinterSong Community Regular
WinterSong
Posted
  • Author

He seems to be a bit overwhelmed at what a sudden change this diet is, and I'm trying to explain that it's more than a diet - gluten hurts me. And I have to do it. I've found a few articles and books that talk about it and other food allergies, and I'm going to call my doctor to get his medical opinion to offer.

I read on another board that some people are ok with their boyfriend/girlfriend just drinking some water or juice after eating gluten. I know brushing is the best way to go, but is drinking water really effective at all? I also know that even if I don't get outwardly sick, my intestinal lining is still being damaged, so does water get rid of gluten residue?

....This stinks.

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

For me, it depends. If he's eaten gluten I usually figure an hour or so, and several drinks of something non-gluten is good enough for light kissing. If he's been drinking gluten, I'm even less concerned about it.

For more involved kissing, I wouldn't care what he had for breakfast, for example, if he'd been gluten-free for the rest of the day. Otherwise, gluten for dinner means brushed teeth before snuggling.

Almendra Apprentice
Almendra
Posted

He seems to be a bit overwhelmed at what a sudden change this diet is, and I'm trying to explain that it's more than a diet - gluten hurts me. And I have to do it. I've found a few articles and books that talk about it and other food allergies, and I'm going to call my doctor to get his medical opinion to offer.

I read on another board that some people are ok with their boyfriend/girlfriend just drinking some water or juice after eating gluten. I know brushing is the best way to go, but is drinking water really effective at all? I also know that even if I don't get outwardly sick, my intestinal lining is still being damaged, so does water get rid of gluten residue?

....This stinks.

:( I hope this is just a learning curve for him.

Everyone has different symptoms - long term and short term. I get pains about 1/2 hour after a glutening and other side effects can last for a few weeks later. This does help me to pinpoint the source of gluten. Some people actually vomit. I've heard of a case where a person with no apparent symptoms almost dies of heart failure from severe anemia (celiac kept iron from absorbing). It can cause a person's bones to age (I've heard of as much as 30 years past their real age - not absorbing calcium) - again, without other symptoms.

In my mind, celiac disease makes us vulnerable to just about any disease caused by malnutrition - because our absorbers aren't working.

Furthermore, an overactive immune system can lead to an even more overactive immune system. The Celiac Disease Center of the University of Chicago states on one of their fact sheets that if diagnosed after the age of 20, we have a 34% (the one in three number strikes me harder when I think about it) of contracting another immunodeficiency disease such as Rheumatoid Arthritis or Lupus.

The only way to reduce our chances of a crazy amount of diseases is to follow this diet to the best of our ability.

If it could help, the address to the University of Chicago's Celiac website is below:

Open Original Shared Link

Meanwhile, someone who is able to test saliva for gluten using the Elisa Method needs to get on this so we can have some definitive research on the average effectiveness of various cleansing methods for Celiac-Kissing-Preparedness.

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):


  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      131,902
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748
    Patty6133
    Newest Member
    Patty6133
    Joined
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.4k
    • Total Posts
      1m
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):


  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • Xravith
      Taking Probiotics but Still Getting Sick After Gluten – Advice?

      By Xravith · Posted

      Yes, you are right. Indeed, I’ve been feeling anemic since the beginning of this week, and today I felt horrible during a lecture at the university, I was trembling a lot and felt all my body incredibly heavy, so I had to come back home. I’ll do a blood test tomorrow, but I’m just worried about the possibility of it coming back negative. I’ve been eating two cookies in the morning as my only source of gluten over the past two weeks—could that affect the final result?
    • trents
      New (possible) celiac diagnosis

      By trents · Posted

      Welcome to the forum, @Judy M! Yes, he definitely needs to continue eating gluten until the day of the endoscopy. Not sure why the GI doc advised otherwise but it was a bum steer.  Celiac disease has a genetic component but also an "epigenetic" component. Let me explain. There are two main genes that have been identified as providing the "potential" to develop "active" celiac disease. We know them as HLA-DQ 2.5 (aka, HLA-DQ 2) and HLA-DQ8. Without one or both of these genes it is highly unlikely that a person will develop celiac disease at some point in their life. About 40% of the general population carry one or both of these two genes but only about 1% of the population develops active celiac disease. Thus, possessing the genetic potential for celiac disease is far less than deterministic. Most who have the potential never develop the disease. In order for the potential to develop celiac disease to turn into active celiac disease, some triggering stress event or events must "turn on" the latent genes. This triggering stress event can be a viral infection, some other medical event, or even prolonged psychological/emotional trauma. This part of the equation is difficult to quantify but this is the epigenetic dimension of the disease. Epigenetics has to do with the influence that environmental factors and things not coded into the DNA itself have to do in "turning on" susceptible genes. And this is why celiac disease can develop at any stage of life. Celiac disease is an autoimmune condition (not a food allergy) that causes inflammation in the lining of the small bowel. The ingestion of gluten causes the body to attack the cells of this lining which, over time, damages and destroys them, impairing the body's ability to absorb nutrients since this is the part of the intestinal track responsible for nutrient absorption and also causing numerous other food sensitivities such as dairy/lactose intolerance. There is another gluten-related disorder known as NCGS (Non Celiac Gluten Sensitivity or just, "gluten sensitivity") that is not autoimmune in nature and which does not damage the small bowel lining. However, NCGS shares many of the same symptoms with celiac disease such as gas, bloating, and diarrhea. It is also much more common than celiac disease. There is no test for NCGS so, because they share common symptoms, celiac disease must first be ruled out through formal testing for celiac disease. This is where your husband is right now. It should also be said that some experts believe NCGS can transition into celiac disease. I hope this helps.
    • Judy M
      New (possible) celiac diagnosis

      By Judy M · Posted

      My husband has had lactose intolerance for his entire life (he's 68 yo).  So, he's used to gastro issues. But for the past year he's been experiencing bouts of diarrhea that last for hours.  He finally went to his gastroenterologist ... several blood tests ruled out other maladies, but his celiac results are suspect.  He is scheduled for an endoscopy and colonoscopy in 2 weeks.  He was told to eat "gluten free" until the tests!!!  I, and he know nothing about this "diet" much less how to navigate his in daily life!! The more I read, the more my head is spinning.  So I guess I have 2 questions.  First, I read on this website that prior to testing, eat gluten so as not to compromise the testing!  Is that true? His primary care doctor told him to eat gluten free prior to testing!  I'm so confused.  Second, I read that celiac disease is genetic or caused by other ways such as surgery.  No family history but Gall bladder removal 7 years ago, maybe?  But how in God's name does something like this crop up and now is so awful he can't go a day without worrying.  He still works in Manhattan and considers himself lucky if he gets there without incident!  Advice from those who know would be appreciated!!!!!!!!!!!!
    • Scott Adams
      Patiently Waiting to See Results

      By Scott Adams · Posted

      You've done an excellent job of meticulously tracking the rash's unpredictable behavior, from its symmetrical spread and stubborn scabbing to the potential triggers you've identified, like the asthma medication and dietary changes. It's particularly telling that the rash seems to flare with wheat consumption, even though your initial blood test was negative—as you've noted, being off wheat before a test can sometimes lead to a false negative, and your description of the other symptoms—joint pain, brain fog, stomach issues—is very compelling. The symmetry of the rash is a crucial detail that often points toward an internal cause, such as an autoimmune response or a systemic reaction, rather than just an external irritant like a plant or mites. I hope your doctor tomorrow takes the time to listen carefully to all of this evidence you've gathered and works with you to find some real answers and effective relief. Don't be discouraged if the rash fluctuates; your detailed history is the most valuable tool you have for getting an accurate diagnosis.
    • Scott Adams
      Gluten free beer ?

      By Scott Adams · Posted

      In this case the beer is excellent, but for those who are super sensitive it is likely better to go the full gluten-free beer route. Lakefront Brewery (another sponsor!) has good gluten-free beer made without any gluten ingredients.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

NOTICE: This site places This site places cookies on your device (Cookie settings). on your device. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use, and Privacy Policy.