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The Dumbest, Ugliest, And Hardest Focaccia...


love2travel

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love2travel Mentor

So, I am a seasoned cook and baker. Very seasoned. The monstrosity that came out of my oven today is my first gluten-free failure (and I've been baking a LOT of gluten-free breads, etc.) and what a failure it is. Too bad I did not take a photo before I threw it out. I cannot believe I just threw out baking. Let me describe it:

It is as white as a kleenex, as hard as marble, and R A W in the centre (after I practically had to use a hacksaw to cut it). It probably weighs more than most children and is as dense as some celebrities. It stands about 1/2" tall. It has absolutely zero redeeming qualities. How could it when one cannot even bite into it unless you want to see your dentist?

Anyway, let this be a reminder to all of you - please include the yeast in the recipe rather than let it sit out on the counter! :P


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ravenwoodglass Mentor

That's always so disappointing. Sounds like it would have made a good hockey puck for the breadsticks I made last week. You could have driven nails with them.

When I cooked for a living I learned to put all ingredients in a line on the counter to my left. As I used them I lined them up on the right. That kept me from either forgetting something or adding an ingredient twice.

I hope your next attempt goes better.

love2travel Mentor
  On 2/29/2012 at 12:19 AM, ravenwoodglass said:

That's always so disappointing. Sounds like it would have made a good hockey puck for the breadsticks I made last week. You could have driven nails with them.

When I cooked for a living I learned to put all ingredients in a line on the counter to my left. As I used them I lined them up on the right. That kept me from either forgetting something or adding an ingredient twice.

I hope your next attempt goes better.

I'm usually super organized and could make focaccia blindfolded. I just left that one little container sitting there - somehow it was hiding on me. My next attempt is tomorrow but this time WITH the yeast! :) As I am a recipe tester I also line up ingredients like you. I just neglected one of the most important components! :lol:

squirmingitch Veteran

Well thanks for the laughs! laugh.gif

Skylark Collaborator

Sorry your bread didn't work out but thanks for the giggle. :lol: It reminds me of my gluten-free Irish soda bread shaped doorstop.

mushroom Proficient

I have been meaning to do what the cooks do on the cooking shows, like premeasure the ingredients and line them up. . You have just given me an extra incentive (besides having left things out myself a few times ;) )

Bubba's Mom Enthusiast

It's comforting to know that even seasoned bakers can have the occasional flop. I'm sure your next attempt will be much better.

You could use it in your garden for a stepping stone? :D


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love2travel Mentor
  On 2/29/2012 at 4:09 AM, Skylark said:

Sorry your bread didn't work out but thanks for the giggle. :lol: It reminds me of my gluten-free Irish soda bread shaped doorstop.

:lol::lol::lol:

love2travel Mentor
  On 2/29/2012 at 4:49 PM, Bubba said:

It's comforting to know that even seasoned bakers can have the occasional flop. I'm sure your next attempt will be much better.

You could use it in your garden for a stepping stone? :D

Oh, yes. It's funny - I probably bake at least 3-4 times per week (sometimes a few times in one day) and this is the first time I forgot the danged yeast!

You know what's funny? It actually was the perfect shape/density for a stepping stone. :lol:

squirmingitch Veteran

Bubba's Mom has now given me a couple laughs today. Thumbs up!

Darn210 Enthusiast
  On 2/29/2012 at 12:08 AM, love2travel said:

So, I am a seasoned cook and baker. Very seasoned. The monstrosity that came out of my oven today is my first gluten-free failure (and I've been baking a LOT of gluten-free breads, etc.) and what a failure it is.

Well, that's pretty remarkable, really, that you are just now getting around to producing a gluten-free flop. That's a pretty good run.

love2travel Mentor
  On 2/29/2012 at 7:35 PM, Darn210 said:

Well, that's pretty remarkable, really, that you are just now getting around to producing a gluten-free flop. That's a pretty good run.

I've always been a good, confident baker and really know my food science so know what makes/doesn't make sense. That and tons of practice. This failure sure was a doozy! That thing is enough to give you nightmares! ;)

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