Really Upset

[taz sharratt]

went to my husbands worx bbq today, it wa awfull, ide asked the bbq,er to please cook my food seeratly and first so not to cc, yeah no prob he sed, then as i whatched him cook he was adding sausage and burgers to the grill, which i had asked him to wait for, then went on to use the same utensils to turn the burgers as my food, i was not happy, when the food reached me i said i was ntot hungry ( i was so starving my belly was burning) so not to upset him by telling him of cc, he then turned to his girlfriend and b%$@#ed about me" i cooked it seperatly for her and now she doesnt even want it " he wouldnt even look at me for the rest of the day. i was nearly crying i wa so upset. i wa so down and grouchy for the rest of the day mostly dur to hunger and everyone thinking the worst of me. sorry to go on but i felt so alone whatching all the other people includeing my hubby eat abd enjoy, i felt like swearing at them all, has anyone else had this?

[minibabe]

wow, I am so sorry that this happened to you. I have had cases like this before, when everyone is having a grand old time and you are stuck eating nothing because people are careless.

Sorry that you had such a bad time at the BBQ. Hope that you feel better.

Amanda NY

[hez]

For me this is really the hard part of this disease, the social isolation. At least that is how it feels for me. I am so sorry that this happened to you. Some people just don't understand the seriousness of cc. Maybe you could do something for yourself tomorrow that will lift your spirits.

Hez

[jerseyangel]

I'm sorry you felt bad--I don't blame you! The next time, though, you can go prepared. Bring some foil (folded in your purse) and ask that your meat be cooked in it on the grill. That way, it won't be contaminated, and you can eat at the same time as everyone else. Maybe tuck a few safe snacks in there for yourself, too. I know it's not quite the same, but as least you won't have to go hungry again!

[angel-jd1]

That is exactly why I do not trust many people to cook food for me. I would rather lug a whole cooler of stuff for myself than have a situation like that arise.

You were upset because he did not understand cross contamination and contaminated your food. He was upset because he "thought" he cooked your food very special for you and "thought" he went out of his way to be nice. When you did not eat the food and only explained that "you weren't hungry" thinking that would be the most polite way out of it, he felt like you made a big "to do" for nothing. Ahhhhhhhh so much mis-communication.

If it were me and I was in that situation I would have tried to pull him aside and explain why I couldn't eat the burger he cooked for me. I would thank him generously for trying so hard, but tell him that you really couldn't risk getting sick. I know that a 5 min. lesson on CC in the beginning of my diagnosis would not have been enough to "get it" and know how to cook something. Our diet is very hard and you can't rely on others to totally "get it".

In the future, however, bring your own food!!! It will save you a ton of headaches.

-Jessica

[CarlaB]

Sorry it's so hard sometimes. I, too, would have told him why you had a problem with the burger. In fact, I'd probably call him now and apologize for not eating it and tell him you were embarassed to say something at the party because this is difficult to live with and you hate putting people out, that you know he went out of his way for you, so you didn't want to tell him that it wasn't good enough. After thinking, however, you realize that it looked as if you didn't appreciate his effort, so you wanted to say something now. Then I'd thank him for trying and mention why it was a problem so it might not be one next time. But, that is my personality, so you do what's fitting for you. I would try to communicate something with him because you were trying to be nice and so was he ... it would be a shame for this misunderstanding to make you both uncomfortable in the future.

I think he genuinely was making an effort, and I think people do not want to make us sick or have us go without food. I had a similar experience when I asked someone to cook my food on foil because the other brats were cooked in beer. He took the foil that had been used to cover the other brats, so I told him why that would be a problem. He was very understanding, got some clean foil, and I could eat.

[gfp]

That is exactly why I do not trust many people to cook food for me. I would rather lug a whole cooler of stuff for myself than have a situation like that arise.

You were upset because he did not understand cross contamination and contaminated your food. He was upset because he "thought" he cooked your food very special for you and "thought" he went out of his way to be nice. When you did not eat the food and only explained that "you weren't hungry" thinking that would be the most polite way out of it, he felt like you made a big "to do" for nothing. Ahhhhhhhh so much mis-communication.

If it were me and I was in that situation I would have tried to pull him aside and explain why I couldn't eat the burger he cooked for me. I would thank him generously for trying so hard, but tell him that you really couldn't risk getting sick. I know that a 5 min. lesson on CC in the beginning of my diagnosis would not have been enough to "get it" and know how to cook something. Our diet is very hard and you can't rely on others to totally "get it".

Well said, however sometimes easier said than done.

Sympathies with taz however because it really can be hard and most of all tiring keep doing this.

I'd probably call him now and apologize for not eating it and tell him you were embarassed to say something at the party because this is difficult to live with and you hate putting people out, that you know he went out of his way for you, so you didn't want to tell him that it wasn't good enough.

That sounds ideal....