Megan's Gagging Isn't Any Better

[DingoGirl]

Oh dear Lord, that is unbelievably sad....

Fiddle-FAddle, profound and very well-written thoughts. I guess I can only add.....and I am a Believer who's wrestled with GREAT periods of doubt - - I never doubt God's existence, wisdom, and benevolence any more, but did for many years....There are volumes written about bad things that happen and the existence of God....I guess I can only add that I believe He DOES always answer....and the answers are Yes, No.....and Wait....and we will never, until we are with Him, fully understand the meaning and reasons of so many things....for He says, "My thoughts are not your thoughts, and My ways are not your ways...."

I can only pray for peace for that dear mother and that she will somehow find relief.....

[VydorScope]

I'm very relieved for Megan, but, oh, how sad for the other mom. (We need a crying smiley...)

The night after Michael's open-heart surgery, an eight-year-old boy who had been hit by a car while riding his bicycle was Life-flighted to Children's hospital. He didn't make it through the night. I will never ever forget his mother's face as she walked out of the PICU with her priest. I think of her every time Michael has a birthday, or on the date of his heart surgery, or at times like when he received his black belt in Tae Kwon Do. And she'll never know how often I do think of her; we never met.

When things go well, everybody says, "God heard our prayers," or "God is good," or "God guided the surgeons." But this poor mommy's experience kind of puts it in another light, doesn't it? I mean, we can't say to her, "God didn't hear your prayers," or "God is bad," or "God didn't guide YOUR surgeons."

We can hope, we can pray (and the power of prayer is well-documented!), we can believe--but the truth is, we mere mortals can't really presume to know what God does or doesn't do, and for us to say, "God is good," only when things are going the way we want--I don't know, at least for me, it makes hearing sad news like this all the more upsetting. I imagine the mommy of the baby who didn't make it hearing others congratulate the mother of a baby who did with, "God heard our prayers," and I can't even begin to imagine the heartbreak she must have.

I'm not trying to start a religious argument here. I'm just thinking out loud (well, as loud as you can on a computer)...

I'm still hoping and praying for good health for Megan, and for peace (if that's possible) for the mother of the baby who didn''t make it.

There realy is nothing you can say to that Mom right now, what she needs is someon taht will let her cry and listen.

As a Christian I believe God is good, all the time. I will not know tthis side of paradise why some are saved (like you child...) and some are taken home early(like this one was), but in both cases God is still good. Its at times like that when all rational thoguht will fail and you have only faith to lean on. Faith that He still knows whats best, and is still God. Just as a thread can not see the tapistry around it, it just has to trust that its there.

[Fiddle-Faddle]

Susan, thank you for your thoughts--I understand and appreciate them more than I can say.

I'm convinced I've heard one other answer to some of my prayers, and that was something like, "My dear child, it's not up to me," (with great sadness) (His, as well as mine). Come to think of it, there has also been, "My dear child, I've already given you what you need to find what you are asking for."

The down side is, I worry about expressing things like that, as to some people, that might seem blasphemous, as though my imagination is putting words into God's mouth. (For all I know, it might be.) And I could understand that, as sometimes it seems blasphemous to me when I hear, "that was God's will."

(Sigh. )

There realy is nothing you can say to that Mom right now, what she needs is someon taht will let her cry and listen.

.

Thanks, Vincent, of course you are right. Still, I wish wish wish I could have helped somehow...Good thing I'm not a surgeon, I'd be a total basket case if I ever lost a patient, especially a child.

[Guest Robbin]

This is great news about Megan-I will continue to pray her fevers go down-but, heartbreaking to hear of the other child and his poor, lonely mother. When things like this happen, I wonder what is the purpose? Why? Is there any good that could possibly come from something like that? Perhaps it will make us more thankful, perhaps hold our children and loved ones closer. Perhaps when we see a lonely person stuggling with heartache and pain, we will be sensitive and reach out a hand. Maybe another hurting person will be comforted by the sad example we have seen here, making us more aware of how many hurting people are out there. I hope she has a family who can help her and a faith to sustain her. I will continue to pray for her too.

Alison-You are a gentle, caring person and I was very moved by your post, thank you for your insights and sharing your struggles with your precious little one too.

[Guest nini]

WOW... I can't believe I missed all of this... my computer crashed about 3 weeks ago and I've been so out of touch... I'm so thrilled to hear that Megan pulled through her surgery so well, and am hopeful that the fevers are just something that will work themselves out in a few days. I know how scary high temps can be on a small child, but even scarier when the child is already dealing with so very much.

Tanya, you are my rock... I am so proud of you and for your strength... thank you for all the updates. I just read through this whole thread with tears in my eyes. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}

[AndreaB]

...I guess I can only add that I believe He DOES always answer....and the answers are Yes, No.....and Wait....and we will never, until we are with Him, fully understand the meaning and reasons of so many things....for He says, "My thoughts are not your thoughts, and My ways are not your ways...."

How true Susan. God is in control at all times and as much as we don't understand.....we will in the end. I have often heard that he allows some to die to try and reach others. It is alwys hard to understand when someone young is taken. My husband lost a co-worker who was hit by a car when he was walking away from his truck. He left behind his wife, son and 1 or 2 daughters (I forget how many he had). He was only about 35. Thankfully his wife has strong faith and a loving family to help her through.

[evie]

So glad to see you back nini!! I had been wondering about you not posting. I guess when the puter goes blinky it really changes things. Glad you got caught up on the posting. Yes, isn't it great that Megan is coming along, better each day!! Past my bedtime so better get tthere. Love to all. evie

[Judyin Philly]

Good Morning Everyone..

Seems we are all 'linked' together by this thread. Don't know about the rest of you, but just feeling so close to all of you this am.. why, not sure, but seems there are such strong bond here.

Tanya, hope your doing ok this am...anxious to hear the Tcell report today. Such sad news of 'other' Mom and her loss. I think your thread is making alot of us re-evaluate the 'priorities' of our lives..

Nisla, so very happy to see you back. Wrote you a couple days ago as I was getting worried..

love to hear from you

Praying for good news this am.

Judy

[Cheri A]

I'm so happy for Tanya with the surgeons visit and am hopeful that that Tcell report is good.

I'm also so sad to hear of the other baby and will pray for the mom and the rest of the family for comfort.

Fiddle-Fadde ~ great posts! I think it's great that you still think of that other mom when your son celebrates a birthday and the other events.

Nini ~ welcome back! I was wondering where the heck you were too!!

[AndreaB]

MEGAN UPDATE

SATURDAY, JULY 29, 2006 10:34 AM, CDT

Megan had a pretty good night last night. Fever only got up to around 102. It's going up again this morning, but motrin seems to be bringing it down. A nurse made a mistake and picked her up under her arms, a big no-no for just after open heart surgery. She's been in terrible pain ever since. They just gave her morphine and it finally relaxed her. The nurse was really sorry, but I hate it happened.

The doctors all agree that the fever is in response to a rejection of sorts to the contegra, or bovine vein. At this point they are not terribly alarmed and just want to keep a close watch on the fever. They also reduced the lasix and potassium today, so she's slowly getting off of meds.

It looks like we're going to a regular room today. That will be much easier on all of us as long as Meg's ready for it.

We hope you all have a nice weekend! Thanks for all the prayers and support.

[nikki-uk]

That nurse should have known better really!

Poor Megan,it made me cringe.

Glad everthing else seems to be going ok.

[jerseyangel]

That nurse should have known better really!

Poor Megan,it made me cringe.

Glad everthing else seems to be going ok.

It made me cringe too, Nikki. She's in Intensive Care, for heaven's sake.

Hoping everything continues to improve, especially the fever.

[VydorScope]

My wife has been on with Tanya for 30 mins now... I expect SOME kind of update

[VydorScope]

MEGAN UPDATE!!

OKay my wife chatted with her on the phone for a while, but not realy mcuh new. Megan had a good nap, and should be moved to a "room" tonight or tommorow. Fever is still there, but the morphine is working well. Thats about all I know. Planning to meet up with her next week.

[schuyler]

Awesome! I'm so glad that she'll be move to a regular room soon.

[jerseyangel]

Thanks Vincent--that's a good sign!

[TCA]

I haven't checked in here for a few days and I am overwhelmed by the love seen here. You people are really amazing. I just never would have imagined that this many people whom I've never met in person would spend this much time praying for and thinking about my precious baby girl. Each of you are being His hands and feet and we are forever blessed by you.

The RM house is great. I didn't realize when we got in that Lisa had helped so much, but we really appreciate it. It's such a great place, especially when you have other children to be able to get away for a short time and rest.

I also appreciate your compassion for the baby that died. We've seen 2 pass on since we were here and one that we're not sure about. It's devastaing because we realize just how easily it could have been us. I don't pretend to understand why, but I do know that sometimes it is merciful that they passed. The little girl had lost multiple fingers and toes and was completely blue. Her mother stated that she had suffered long enough. We KNOW she's not suffering now. Like Alison, I will never forget that mother as long as I live. My heart broke for her in ways I can't begin to describe. Once you have contemplated the fact that you may outlive your child you become a different person. It's hard to explain, but those of you who have had chronically ill children know what I mean. Every day is bit brighter because you know they're still here, but at the same time you don't want a lifetime of chronic suffering for them.

We are blessed beyond measure by all of you.

Love and hugs,

Tanya

[DingoGirl]

Tanya, your post just gave me chills. Such a mix of joy and pain, which is the bittersweet poignancy and unpredictability of life. Thank you for taking the time to write such a beautiful note for all of us. And I think you speak for every mother, everywhere.

May God continue to bless you - - and little Megan....

[Guest nini]

Tanya, I got chills reading your post too... I hugged my girl just a little tighter tonight when I tucked her into bed... {{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[Judyin Philly]

Hi Tanya,

Susan and Nini--wish i could write as eloquently as you guys but since I am unable maybe I please 'dito' your wonderful message...As a mom of a 31 year old who lives in CA....we still just can't help worrying about our 'gifts from God'

Tanya, God bless you generous spirit for others in crisis when we know the worry and concern you and your family are facing..

Still ck'n in all the time and with each ck and prayer goes up.

love and hugs

Judy in Philly

[penguin]

Tanya, I too got chills. I continue to pray for you and for Megan. I can only understand through my own mom, who had a chronically ill child needing constant care...he passed when he was a child (before I was born) and it nearly broke her.

I'm very relieved that Megan is doing well

[Lisa]

Tanya, I wish you the strenght that I have in my body. I am sure that your strenth is waining, add mine to yours Love and hugs and strenth and wisdom for Megs doctors.

[Fiddle-Faddle]

Tanya, I'm sending you love, prayers, rest, and renewed strength.

[Canadian Karen]

Tanya,

What a beautiful post! I am so glad that God continues to keep watch over little Megan, and for good measure He's also got His top notch Guardian Angels there also..........

You are probably still on auto-pilot, that special gift mom's have that allows us to perform above and beyond what is humanly possible when our children are ill. But please try to make sure you get your nourishment and some sleep so you can continue to be there for Megan..... It would do no good to run yourself into the ground.....

Sending you strength vibes and continued prayers......

Hugs.

Karen

[VydorScope]

MEGAN UPDATE

SATURDAY, JULY 29, 2006 08:24 PM, CDT

Megan was moved to a regular room this afternoon!!! She still has a fever most of the time, but has had several normal temps!!!! We hope this means her body is starting to better accept the contegra and the fever will be gone soon. She is still needing oxygen, but hates the nose canula, so we've been trying to place a mask close to her face all the time. Easier said than done. Her pulse and blood pressure are back into normal ranges. She hasn't done quite as well in some ways after the painful mishap this morning, but we hope tomorrow will be better. Getting in a private room will make a lot of difference for all of us!

We didn't hear back from the Tcell test today, so it will probably be Monday, but I'm not sure how much bearing it has at this point since the fever is gradually getting better.

Cole is at Jarod's parents' house this weekend. He got to go see his great grand parents, swimming, fishing, and to see his Uncle Alton's goats and chickens. He's had a blast. Next week he'll be with my parents and here. I know he's going to be really rotten after all this grandparent time!!!! ; )

Dr. Drinkwater came by this morning and is very pleased with Megan's progress. We are so thankful.

Keep the prayers going that Megan will continue to do better and not have anymore complications. I'm almost scared to type this, but her gagging has been MUCH better today. I hope this is a permanent improvement and only gets better!!!! That would be an answer to all of our prayers.

We really do thank God for each of you. We have too many blessings to count!

Love - Jarod, Tanya, Cole, and Megan Hope