The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[nikki-uk]

'Tis the season to get glutened' TRA -LA-LA-LA-LA etc.....

(All ye affected, feel better soon)

Well, speaking of CHUCK.......

But good lord!!!! ...Look at him!!!!!! He's been a bit happy with the surgeon's knife hasn't he???? EEEKKK!!!!!

actually I decided a long time ago that I wanted Bono to sing to me at night.......

Do you reckon he would take his sunglasses off whilst crooning???

OMG - Sighting of Yeti (as Santa) in Mall in Ottowa???? - somebody put him back on that train to Murphy's Ridge!!!!

The poor wee children will be traumatised

The in laws have visited,

Gifts been exchanged,

PYjamas again?

I feel quite deranged!

[blueeyedmanda]

Poor Yeti, all he wants is to be like us!!! LOL If he doesn't mind rain he can come here, we can meet him at the Train Station.

[nikki-uk]

....and Open Original Shared Link at what The Hoff's brought out in time for Christmas!!

[elye]

So I missed the Tom's post . . . Tom, you will have to PM me. Stuff like that drives me mad. If I was a cat, curiosity would have killed me nine times over.

Heyy! I don't think I've missed any of Tom's posts...did I miss something special? I know of his nakedness whilst posting...is that the special thing? (perhaps that would depend on whether or not things were...changing...at all)

Looks like you'll just have to PM me, as well, Tom, for I am also driven mad by unrelieved curiosity...

[blueeyedmanda]

I am trying to wrap some gifts while John is out shopping and the cat keeps laying on the rolls of wrapping paper and putting his paws where I am trying to tape...now he has a bow in his fur! Good Grief!!

I am at a loss at what to get John...I got him a NYG shirt and some NYG glasses but that is it. Any general suggestions?

[DingoGirl]

His little elf helpers seemed a bit uneasy around him. Now, I just keep wondering...

Could it have been?.....

OMG - our yeti is in Ottawa? well he did take a wrong turn, didn't he?

But good lord!!!! ...Look at him!!!!!! He's been a bit happy with the surgeon's knife hasn't he???? EEEKKK!!!!!

OMG I know........he's done it to himself.......looks terrible.........a bit Kenny Rogers around the eyes.........

The in laws have visited,

Gifts been exchanged,

PYjamas again?

I feel quite deranged!

*snort*

quite mad

....and Open Original Shared Link at what The Hoff's brought out in time for Christmas!!

where did you find this.........quite good.............

oh sillies..........I must head out - - that's right - - doing the BULK of my shopping today.

Quite irritated wtih self AND all of this b@#$%$#%. HARRUMPH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Emily - how's the MIL? grating on you yet?

Janet - nice to see you!!!!!! Um........I take it you're not in the house in Lake Tennessee?

Amanda - I don't know what NYG is.......and blow me if I don't know what else to get your hubby......I don't have one (hubby) - no clue.

Patti - HEINOUS on the glutening. Hope you're better today.

SEE YOU SILLIES LATER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[blueeyedmanda]

NYG- New York Giants. John is a big fan but he has enough of that stuff. He wanted a new electric razor but has changed his mind....and since I dont know exactly what type I am lost.

Thanks Everyone!

[tom]

I am at a loss at what to get John...I got him a NYG shirt and some NYG glasses but that is it. Any general suggestions?

Getting Eli Manning to play like his bro Payton would be a welcome gift!

(If you can do that, would you please bless my Bears w/ same?)

OK, what else does he do in his free time? Perhaps when it's NOT football season?

[elye]

Well...I mentioned the suspicious Santa at the mall to MIL...Her eyes widened, she grabbed my car keys, and was gone. Turns out she rushed to the mall, marched up to Santa and whipped off his hat and moustache. Yep, there he was.

And here he is...she has brought the yeti home, as she is quite concerned about his well-being, and since she is well-versed in Northern cultural practices, she is convinced that she can heal him and offer him a comforting respite here for Christmas (but hey...it's MY house)..., before he is sent up to BIL for the race.

Gus is...well...a little upset. We have seen neither of the cats, and actually, other things are missing. The fridge looks somewhat empty...as does our liquor cabinet...and some of my makeup looks used. Hmmmmmm. Where's that bright blue hair paint?! God, better go make certain my car's in the garage...

[tom]

. . .

He looked....drugged, or as if electricity had jolted through him. And whoever had measured this guy's inseam had fouled up MOST egregiously--pants were not nearly long enough.

His little elf helpers seemed a bit uneasy around him. Now, I just keep wondering...

Could it have been?.....

AHHHH!! ROFL :lol:

So even the yeti has an income before me?

And P.S. Maybe if your assorted relations changed their diets they'd come to recognize what a hoot you are!

[tom]

Well...I mentioned the suspicious Santa at the mall to MIL...Her eyes widened, she grabbed my car keys, and was gone. Turns out she rushed to the mall, marched up to Santa and whipped off his hat and moustache. Yep, there he was.

And here he is...she has brought the yeti home, as she is quite concerned about his well-being, and since she is well-versed in Northern cultural practices, she is convinced that she can heal him and offer him a comforting respite here for Christmas (but hey...it's MY house)..., before he is sent up to BIL for the race.

Gus is...well...a little upset. We have seen neither of the cats, and actually, other things are missing. The fridge looks somewhat empty...as does our liquor cabinet...and some of my makeup looks used. Hmmmmmm. Where's that bright blue hair paint?! God, better go make certain my car's in the garage...

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:lol:

[DingoGirl]

Well...I mentioned the suspicious Santa at the mall to MIL...Her eyes widened, she grabbed my car keys, and was gone. Turns out she rushed to the mall, marched up to Santa and whipped off his hat and moustache. Yep, there he was.

And here he is...she has brought the yeti home, as she is quite concerned about his well-being, and since she is well-versed in Northern cultural practices, she is convinced that she can heal him and offer him a comforting respite here for Christmas (but hey...it's MY house)..., before he is sent up to BIL for the race.

Gus is...well...a little upset. We have seen neither of the cats, and actually, other things are missing. The fridge looks somewhat empty...as does our liquor cabinet...and some of my makeup looks used. Hmmmmmm. Where's that bright blue hair paint?! God, better go make certain my car's in the garage...

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Our Emily is completely, barking mad.

Um......so whose lap are the kids at the mall sitting IN? (prepositional impropriety on purpose ) Yes, mygawd, lock up the liquor cabinet......lock your bathroom.......mind the pets!! Poor King Gustavius............could they not become friends and find mutual cuddle-ability with one another? Another soft, furry spot upon which to land?

OMG - - last night, Elf was on TV......I had seen parts of it before...........that has got to be the funniest christmas movie EVER. I was snorting and guffawing out loud.....would not answer the phone..........Will Ferrell is quite possibly the goofiest man alive.

Now, I must buy it..........

good gawd......have not left the house yet....would love to SLEEP through Christmas entirely!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[tom]

We watched "Lemony Snicket". I liked it FAR more than expected!!

Always something funny going on, but that littlest kid probably was tops.

[~alex~]

OMG - - last night, Elf was on TV......I had seen parts of it before...........that has got to be the funniest christmas movie EVER. I was snorting and guffawing out loud.....would not answer the phone..........Will Ferrell is quite possibly the goofiest man alive.

Yes, a very funny movie! We watch it in the middle of summertime when we need a good laugh. I think we may need to watch it tonight. Did you catch the part where Walter's secretary is talking on the phone about declawing kittens? So sneakily funny!

Cotton-headed ninny muggins . . .

[elye]

My Daughter and I guffawed through Elf a couple of weeks ago. Just heard this on TV this evening: apparently Will is one of the most miserable stars to meet...won't do autographs, doesn't talk or even wave back. Heinous....He's ELF!

Yeti is shovelling the driveway. Actually, he's chipping away at the driveway--we've had downpouring rain all day, which is freezing as we speak. Wonder if I could find a pair of skates big enough for him?

OMG....I have no presents for him!! Nothing under the tree that says, "To Yeti, Love Santa". No stocking...Gahhhhh, guess I'll be shopping tomorrow.

What the hell do you put in a yeti's stocking?

Watch?...Time holds no meaning for him

Wallet?....no pockets

Comb?...hair'll come off in clumps

Nail scissors?....Gad...have you seen those claws?!

What to do.......

[DingoGirl]

hmmmmmm.......gifts for the yeti - good Lord, you had better brave the icy cold Emily, he has a tendency to brood deeply over certain things, you know...I think he would be bereft Christmas morn' to not find anything for him.......

Say, how about a carton of Drano? He's got to be just permanently struggling with keeping the drains clear, with all that shedding......

also - maybe some Rocky Mountain Oysters?????????

*snigger*

ha ha ha, just let us know if you don't know what those are...............

So our friend over the pond will be seeing Christmas eve quite soon, before we do!!!!!!!!! Nicola, what's for dinner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG my wealthy cousins, in Boston, are getting on a plane to PARIS tomorrow night - could there be anything more romantic than sipping champagne on flight to Paris Christmas Eve? I don't know..............

must get busy - time to make the marshmallows..................................

[elye]

also - maybe some Rocky Mountain Oysters?????????

ha ha ha, just let us know if you don't know what those are...............

Uh.....I dunno what those are....

Unless they're the same thing as Canadian prairie oysters....And I believe the yeti would happily chow down on those...

Good idea, Susie!

Yes, Nikki, what do you folks across the pond have for your Christmas dinners? Is everyone having turkey? Wonder if the yeti can help me cook...

[Green12]

Just heard this on TV this evening: apparently Will is one of the most miserable stars to meet...won't do autographs, doesn't talk or even wave back. Heinous....He's ELF!

This makes me sad, I LOVE WILL

OH Nikki, yes do tell what you are having for Christmas. I was watching Nigella Lawson (I think that's her name) cook a Christmas feast this morning and it just looked and sounded divine.

Will figgy pudding be involved??

I'm thinking a hair brush for the yeti......

[jerseyangel]

Glad you were a little better tonight, hope tomorrow you are all back to normal

Felt pretty good today

I felt a slight glutening, myself, yesterday, and can't exactly trace the source. Odd...I wasn't even pulling any gluteny noodles out of my DD's nose...

I have something to report to you all...yesterday, as I was fighting my way through the mall, I glanced at the Santa sitting in his big chair, with a line-up of VERY last-minute kids in tow. I never really look at these guys, but for some reason I was transfixed on his face. It was quite...hairy.

Hat pulled way down...and although I never saw him stand up, he was REALLY big. Not speaking, just nodding, and shoving the kids off his lap rather quickly. He looked....drugged, or as if electricity had jolted through him. And whoever had measured this guy's inseam had fouled up MOST egregiously--pants were not nearly long enough.

His little elf helpers seemed a bit uneasy around him. Now, I just keep wondering...

Could it have been?.....

Hope you're feeling better by now, Emily Yes--I think the Santa you saw could be the Yeti in disguise!

Hey, did someboy call me a reindeer?

Yeah--that would be me . Have a great time and safe travels!

he's done it to himself.......looks terrible.........a big Kenny Rogers around the eyes.........

[jerseyangel]

Nice Christmas story....

Yesterday, a cute little man driving a delivery van stopped in front of our house--he said he'd blown a tire, and asked if he could come up into our driveway to change his tire so he wouldn't have to do it in the road.

Mark (who was outside at the time)said of course, and then helped him get the tire changed so he could be on his way.

Today, when we got home from shopping, there was a beautiful huge pointsettia waiting for us on the porch with a thank you note! I thought that was so sweet

~~~~~~~~~

My next post will be #10,000!!!!!

[DingoGirl]

Yes, a very funny movie! We watch it in the middle of summertime when we need a good laugh. I think we may need to watch it tonight. Did you catch the part where Walter's secretary is talking on the phone about declawing kittens? So sneakily funny!

Cotton-headed ninny muggins . . .

I must have missed that line.....but have just ordered my OWN copy of Elf oh half.com, for less than $5!

Uh.....I dunno what those are....

Unless they're the same thing as Canadian prairie oysters....And I believe the yeti would happily chow down on those...

yes, 'tis the very same thing - said to be one of the Yeti's favorite delicacies - I think he likes them with barbeque sauce

Will figgy pudding be involved??

OMG - I was going to ask her if there's figgy pudding involved!!!!!!!!!! Alas, found out the figgy pudding is very much like a fruitcake - BLECH! - but with lots of rum - could be more tolerable that way.........

My next post will be #10,000!!!!!

PATTI!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG - watch out for fluids!!!!!!!!!!!

Glad you're feeling better, and what a cute Christmas/flat tire story!!!!!

[blueeyedmanda]

~~~~~~~~~

My next post will be #10,000!!!!!

OMG Patti! that is so cool! fluids, and bells and whistles...the whole 9 yards to celebrate.

Got all the shopping done, and got John the Portable PSP that he has been wanting.

[tom]

I've become so disappointed and even a little depressed, tho some of that may be the cold/sickness talking.

My sister had been, at a minimum, wheat-light for many years.

Now, there isn't a single countertop, table or surface, where I haven't seen crumbs or bread or tortillas.

A couple hours ago, I even found a piece of a wheat tortilla IN MY BED!!!!!!

One side of me feels I should tell her I don't feel safe. A little part of me wants to just go home. Another small part wants to find a hotel w/ a kitchenette.

Is there anything to be accomplished by telling her I don't feel safe? I can't make her change every meal.

I think wheat has been a major component of every meal until tonight's enchiladas.

Heyy! I don't think I've missed any of Tom's posts...did I miss something special?

Nope!

No one ever said it was special. The whole PM affair is quite moronic in fact.

(In the latest I'm actually called an "asinine p.o.s." <the abbrev is mine>)

But, I did get a few light chuckles while reading it. She seems so deranged.

Yeti is shovelling the driveway. Actually, he's chipping away at the driveway--we've had downpouring rain all day, which is freezing as we speak.

Ugh I remember hating having to use the ice chipper thingy growing up in Chicago and can't remember what we called it.

What the hell do you put in a yeti's stocking?

if only I weren't sick . .. . .. ..this is ripe comedic material.

also - maybe some Rocky Mountain Oysters?????????

Omg I'm left to wonder how 'in tarnation' THIS comes up!!

I have also heard of them being called Praire Oysters. :pukey:

(Oops now I'm hrs late on this one)

[elye]

Merry Christmas Eve, everyone!

I was going to paraphrase here a terrific writer's thoughts on the buildup to Christmas in our society, but I've just decided to put it in another thread. It's not silly Christmas talk, you see...

One side of me feels I should tell her I don't feel safe. A little part of me wants to just go home. Another small part wants to find a hotel w/ a kitchenette.

Is there anything to be accomplished by telling her I don't feel safe? I can't make her change every meal.

Okay, gotta wax serious here for a moment: Tom, if you are ill, no one will blame you or be offended if you take action to feel better, particularly at this time of year.

Dunno your sister, so it's tough to advise how specifically to address her, but if she understands the disease, she will understand you when you tell her about being sick. If she is one of these famous individuals who tells you to "snap out of it! It's just a few crumbs, for gawd's sake!", then it's a different ball game, but one with perhaps the same last inning.

A hotel might be the answer, but you will be at your sister's for meals....going home just seems too sad...

Sorry you're facing this...but do know that you should do something if you are sick, and your sister, I am certain, will understand.

Ugh I remember hating having to use the ice chipper thingy growing up in Chicago and can't remember what we called it.

Up here, they're called ICT's...Ice Chipper Thingees...

Ohhhhh, Patti....BIG fluids are a' coming.....!! Or something else CATACLYSMIC. We haven't witnessed 10,000 around here, have we? We have no idea what's coming.....

[blueeyedmanda]

Hi Everyone!

Happy Christmas Eve Morning. I am at work today, only until 2:30 but long enough....I still want to get some more errands done after work, and I know I need to get to the grocery store which is closing 6. I don't mind being here in a way there is only 6 of us in the office. One leaves at 12.

So is everyone finished with their holiday preparations?