The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[~alex~]

I do not remember that little rhyme, but it brings up a question I have long pondered:

Why is there sometimes pee on the seat in a women's washroom stall? What is a woman doing that allows her to get urine (sometimes a fair amount) on the seat? Is she standing? Oracle Peter, do you know the answer to this?

:ph34r: To be honest, I usually "hover" when I use a public washroom and sometimes that results in a bit of sprinkling on the seat :ph34r: BUT . . . I honestly do usually clean any spray off before flushing. I think it started when I went to Grenada (edit: Grenada was nice, it was Guadeloupe that was a bit yucky) with my family when I was 10 or so and the washrooms were really gross and so I started squatting/hovering.

[Darn210]

I do not remember that little rhyme, but it brings up a question I have long pondered:

Why is there sometimes pee on the seat in a women's washroom stall? What is a woman doing that allows her to get urine (sometimes a fair amount) on the seat? Is she standing? Oracle Peter, do you know the answer to this?

Ahhhh, a worthy question for Regis Philbin Peter. I'm waiting in anticipation for his answer.

[DingoGirl]

Amanda, you are already practicing up for the little kiddos! You are speaking their language

Yes, Amanda, you MUST work with children!!!!!! and be sure to teach them all the naughty rhymes.....

Julie - snow boots!!! so cute how much you love them......definitely necessary for Yeti treks.

I do not remember that little rhyme, but it brings up a question I have long pondered:

Why is there sometimes pee on the seat in a women's washroom stall? What is a woman doing that allows her to get urine (sometimes a fair amount) on the seat? Is she standing? Oracle Peter, do you know the answer to this?

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT????????????? Omygaaaaaaawd, I have NEVER, and I mean NEVER in my life, sat on a public toilet seat, or almost any toilet seats, unless I am comfortable w/ the locale (my house, my mom's house, people w/ cleaning ladies, and people w/ no small children in the house )................ THE HORROR!!!!!!!!!!!! A serious phobia.....I am a squatter/hoverer - - you think those flimsy tissue thingys really PROTECT you from....from......someone else's anal gland residue??????????????

So yeah, there's usually pee on the seat after I've weed (Wiid?) - but I wipe it up EVERY time.......so I'm a considerate squatter.

[blueeyedmanda]

I do not remember that little rhyme, but it brings up a question I have long pondered:

Why is there sometimes pee on the seat in a women's washroom stall? What is a woman doing that allows her to get urine (sometimes a fair amount) on the seat? Is she standing? Oracle Peter, do you know the answer to this?

I hoover too....

then again, not only is their pee all over the seat but sometimes #2 everywhere too, like a Poo expolsion....eck! Women who pee on the seat and don't clean it repulse me....it's not like you have to aim...so what is your excuse for the mess?

[nikki-uk]

WHO the heck's Phileas Fogg Regis Philbin?!?!?!?!?!

OMG!!!....ALEX!!...(she looks such a sweet young thing in her av) ...and yet she single handedly sorted our Yeti's back end problem..........DAMN!! That girl must have a supersize nasal peg

She is a Yeti whisperer

A wii (not to be confused with wee) was received by the youngest of my clan - I like the golf!

Do you not think everyone will be bowled over by our fantastic witty repartee?? .......surely we are staggeringly hilarious to all?????????????????? ........What does Julie mean ''our humoUr might be lost on some''??????.............they must have had a funny bypass or something.....

.......and yes Amanda...WHO ARE these women who sh#t all over the seat, floor etc?!?!?! (uggggghhhhh...public toilets - only EVER in a dire emergency )

[jerseyangel]

I know I have come close to piddling on the floor

Let's just say it was an interesting evening. The Yeti seemed very out of sorts when I picked him up at the train station yesterday. Lots of scooting and chasing his tail (does he have a tail??) and seeming quite uncomfortable. So I did what I had to do: put on some gloves, said a little prayer, and found myself to be very thankful that my mom taught me how to empty our poor puppy's anal glands that fateful day over a decade ago! Our yeti seemed much relieved and slept very peacefully last night. He's like a brand new (mystical, magical) man today!!!

OMG Alex--sounds like you jumped in with both feet--or should I say thumbs

Yes! deathly ill, and a multimillionaire...a dream catch!

.....with one foot on a banana peel

:ph34r: To be honest, I usually "hover" when I use a public washroom and sometimes that results in a bit of sprinkling on the seat

I always line the seat with tons of toilet paper--have tried the squat, but peed down my leg

WHO the heck's Phileas Fogg Regis Philbin?!?!?!?!?!

He's a "fixture" on morning TV here. He has a talk/variety show that he has always hosted with a younger woman--lots of unscripted chat for the first 15 minutes or so.

He might be Peter.

[elye]

...I dunno, guys...I'm a hoverer from a way back (bum cheeks do NOT hit seat EVER), but I've never considered hovering a reason to get wee on the seat...Whatsamaddah with you guys? You hover, way down low, a true squat with all weight in your heels, and you can maintain things about an inch from said seat. If it's a long pee, your quads could start to burn a bit. You blokes must be standing!

I think I need to become a consultant for this.

[Darn210]

I always line the seat with tons of toilet paper--have tried the squat, but peed down my leg

He might be Peter.

I used to be a hoverer but bad knees now (thanks for making me bring that up again). We engineers (in my case former) call it the toilet paper gasket when we line our seats.

...I dunno, guys...I'm a hoverer from a way back (bum cheeks do NOT hit seat EVER), but I've never considered hovering a reason to get wee on the seat...Whatsamaddah with you guys? You hover, way down low, a true squat with all weight in your heels, and you can maintain things about an inch from said seat. If it's a long pee, your quads could start to burn a bit. You blokes must be standing!

I think I need to become a consultant for this.

Oh yes . . . with multi-coloUred flow charts.

[jerseyangel]

I think I need to become a consultant for this.

New career alert!!!!....Emily doing consulting for hovering and anal gland emptying!!!!

M-m-m....will have to come up with a suitable logo for this.....

[elye]

New career alert!!!!....Emily doing consulting for hovering and anal gland emptying!!!!

M-m-m....will have to come up with a suitable logo for this.....

Yes....Consulting for the Nether Regions....

[Jestgar]

a little off the topic of squaws squatting, but silly nonetheless:

Open Original Shared Link

[Green12]

I have an aversion to public bathrooms. I hate them so.

I would rather wee outside in the bushes than step foot in one.

Interestingly enough I also have an aversion to Regis Philbin.....I hope he isn't Peter

She is a Yeti whisperer

Do you not think everyone will be bowled over by our fantastic witty repartee?? .......surely we are staggeringly hilarious to all?????????????????? ........What does Julie mean ''our humoUr might be lost on some''??????.............they must have had a funny bypass or something.....

Well you know, only the wittiest of the witty will get it and some just weren't blessed with that particular funny bone.

M-m-m....will have to come up with a suitable logo for this.....

Department of Back Side Consultations and Inspections??

[elye]

I have an aversion to public bathrooms. I hate them so.

Interestingly enough I also have an aversion to Regis Philbin.....

How about Regis Philbin in a public bathroom?...

[blueeyedmanda]

At work now they have those seat covers for "safety" my one coworker calls them A$$ gaskets.....

[DingoGirl]

then again, not only is their pee all over the seat but sometimes #2 everywhere too, like a Poo expolsion....eck! Women who pee on the seat and don't clean it repulse me....it's not like you have to aim...so what is your excuse for the mess?

she said poo explosion ......OMG........this discovery must result in an extremely rapid egress from the stall....... You must leave instatnly

Do you not think everyone will be bowled over by our fantastic witty repartee?? .......surely we are staggeringly hilarious to all?????????????????? ........What does Julie mean ''our humoUr might be lost on some''??????.............they must have had a funny bypass or something.....

Well....I must say....I do not think everyone will be bowled over.......you will note that we do occasionally see a hapless forum member reading along.....then we never see him or her again....

I suspect once they've read the content, the madness here, there's perhaps a sharp intake of breath adn then a frantic reach for the mouse to QUICKLY exit the thread - so as not to be sullied by our lunacy, adn gain a reputation as....one of US......

.....with one foot on a banana peel

Patti

...I dunno, guys...I'm a hoverer from a way back (bum cheeks do NOT hit seat EVER), but I've never considered hovering a reason to get wee on the seat...Whatsamaddah with you guys? You hover, way down low, a true squat with all weight in your heels, and you can maintain things about an inch from said seat. If it's a long pee, your quads could start to burn a bit. You blokes must be standing!

I think I need to become a consultant for this.

I am usually successful at keeping the seat dry.....but once, quite recently, I was in an URGENT pee mode - tons of wee - I was hovering and not paying attention.....in a shopping mall (well, in the bathroom of the mall, more correctly), and there was a woman and her toddler waiting to come in after me.....

imagine my horror when I looked down, and realized that my pee was somehow - do NOT ask me how - hitting outside of the bowl, down the front, with a thin but steady TRICKLE OF URINE, forming a direct, rapidly-increasing stream that went slowly OUTSIDE THE STALL and.....you guessed it - straight toward this pair waiting outside.............

I could have died.................. :lol:

Yes....Consulting for the Nether Regions....

can we use the word CONSTABLE? I love that word - I don't think we have any in the US.......

Department of Back Side Consultations and Inspections??

JESS - love that word list - - will study it to TRY and fit them into casual conversation somehow.........

A$$ gasket -

[elye]

Well....I must say....I do not think everyone will be bowled over.......you will note that we do occasionally see a hapless forum member reading along.....then we never see him or her again....

Yes, quite hilarious. I'll often see a new member name showing up as reading on this thread, and I'll think, "Excellent! Some new funny blood about to jump on our bandwagon!", but alas, they disappear. Quickly. In fact, many of those names probably leave the whole forum after their quick visit here. I can just hear them: "Holy Gawd...I'm outta here. This place is nuts. Yeti anal glands?"

imagine my horror when I looked down, and realized that my pee was somehow - do NOT ask me how - hitting outside of the bowl, down the front, with a thin but steady TRICKLE OF URINE, forming a direct, rapidly-increasing stream that went slowly OUTSIDE THE STALL and.....you guessed it - straight toward this pair waiting outside.............

That mother and her child were probably both thinking, "Mygawd...does she need to learn how to hover"...

[DingoGirl]

Y In fact, many of those names probably leave the whole forum after their quick visit here. I can just hear them: "Holy Gawd...I'm outta here. This place is nuts. Yeti anal glands?"

Well this gave me a good snorting guffaw, and I nearly spit my brussels sprouts onto the keyboard.......

:lol:

[Green12]

I am usually successful at keeping the seat dry.....but once, quite recently, I was in an URGENT pee mode - tons of wee - I was hovering and not paying attention.....in a shopping mall (well, in the bathroom of the mall, more correctly), and there was a woman and her toddler waiting to come in after me.....

imagine my horror when I looked down, and realized that my pee was somehow - do NOT ask me how - hitting outside of the bowl, down the front, with a thin but steady TRICKLE OF URINE, forming a direct, rapidly-increasing stream that went slowly OUTSIDE THE STALL and.....you guessed it - straight toward this pair waiting outside.............

I could have died.................. :lol:

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This has me laughing hysterically

Using Constable is a smashing idea. That is what we are lacking in the US...and Mounties.....and Beefeaters

Yes, quite hilarious. I'll often see a new member name showing up as reading on this thread, and I'll think, "Excellent! Some new funny blood about to jump on our bandwagon!", but alas, they disappear. Quickly. In fact, many of those names probably leave the whole forum after their quick visit here. I can just hear them: "Holy Gawd...I'm outta here. This place is nuts. Yeti anal glands?"

Well Grey's is on....I'm not even excited about it anymore. But I'll keep watching it....like a loser.

[blueeyedmanda]

So much better day today at work, got a great compliment from a woman at one of our cooperative groups we do some clinical trials through, says she always likes the data I send in, always good and if she says any clarification forms I send in are always answered very nicely. She says when she sees it is Amanda signing off the bottom she knows it is quality work....I was very happy. It was the sunshine in my rainy week.

TGIF....tomorrow

I think this weekend we are going to check out the PA Farm show.

[DingoGirl]

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This has me laughing hysterically

The WORST part was.....when I came out of the stall, they were looking at me, of course, and stepping over my river of wee........ I averted my gaze and skee-daddled as quickly as I could......

OMG - Grey's - I don't even care either!!!!!!! I am SO not happy about McSteamy's new nurse girl.....not even interested in her! And Meredith is just so.....psycho....... I'm sick of them!!!!!

so I, also, am a loser.

So much better day today at work, got a great compliment from a woman at one of our cooperative groups we do some clinical trials through, says she always likes the data I send in, always good and if she says any clarification forms I send in are always answered very nicely. She says when she sees it is Amanda signing off the bottom she knows it is quality work....I was very happy. It was the sunshine in my rainy week.

yay! good news!

What are you guys going to do at the farm show? I've considered going, but it's ONLY to check out the cowboys and farmers and ag guys.

[blueeyedmanda]

We go to the farm show for milk shakes You are coming to our farm show??? Cool!

[Darn210]

Yes....Consulting for the Nether Regions....

Department of Back Side Consultations and Inspections??

Emily, what you need is a good acronym . . .

You coud be a B.U.M. (Backside Unmentionables Manager)

or an A.S.S. (Anal Services Specialist)

The WORST part was.....when I came out of the stall, they were looking at me, of course, What are you guys going to do at the farm show? I've considered going, but it's ONLY to check out the cowboys and farmers and ag guys.

Seeing how Amanda is newly married and her new husband will be WITH her . . . I strongly discourage checking out the cowboys, farmers, and ag guys . . . or at the very least, be sneaky about it.

[blueeyedmanda]

Good Morning Sillies

Very dreary weather to wake up with this morning. My stomach is feeling icky too! I am not sure why, but ugh!

[elye]

Morning, Amanda!

Think you've got our communal brain this morning...cannot think, or fully wake up...yucky and dreary out....need a shot of PUNCTUATION!!!!!!!!!!!????????!!!!!

The WORST part was.....when I came out of the stall, they were looking at me, of course, and stepping over my river of wee........ I averted my gaze and skee-daddled as quickly as I could......

OMG...

Sounds like a sacred place of worship...The River of Wee. One of the Eight Great Wonders of the World...

Emily, what you need is a good acronym . . .

or an A.S.S. (Anal Services Specialist)

This has a terrific ring to it! I'll have new cards printed...and my logo can be two big thumbs...

[blueeyedmanda]

Sillies I need to scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I work with this nurse and she is so darn rude!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I was having another good day (which after this week felt nice) I was a doubting myself on an upcoming lab submission schedules so I wanted to double check with her just to make sure nothing got missed...

She told me I was wasting her time with stupid questions which I should know the answers to...she said more things but now I cannot remember any thing more since I was so mad and deep down offended....All it takes is one thing to turn a good day into hell....

I have always butted heads with this person, I guess with some people that relationship will never exist and I believe this is the case. There should be a point where you put all things aside and say look past this and we have a job to do....

My other coworkers who all are aware of this problem have said I should talk to my supervisor about this but I am not sure where to start and even if it is a good idea.

Any suggestions on dealing with the rude?