The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[blueeyedmanda]

Yea Richard it is more than time to Phone Home!

[DingoGirl]

Oh, psilly pholks phart around. Most don't keep kount it is found.

3.

Peeeeeeeeeeter!!!!!!!!!!!!! *snort* that was phunny.

Brian and I were sitting in the living room after the kids went to bed, watching Everybody Loves Raymond... and suddenly out of nowhere, we let out simultaneous belches. He immediately held up his hand, and I high-fived him.

:lol: this IS true love.

Good Morning, sillies. Hey, I got here before either of Emily or Amanda today. But Sarah was here even before me (welcome back). Yeah, you missed the phabulous phart phrequency exercise.

phabulous phart phrequency!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is a wind tunnel outside today, 60 mph winds and the temps are starting to fall, so by the end of the work day it will feel like 20 in stead of the 48 when I left the house.

Stay home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes....my children know all about this hilarious development in Sillyville, and my son apparently took the story to school with him, and shared it with his classmates in circle time. Oh, Gawd....

"My mom knows these other celiacs, and talks to them on the internet. They are keeping count of their farts for 12 hours, and reporting their number to each other throughout the day". OMG OMG. I have a meeting there today at three.

:lol: You know, we could really be onto something with this.......we could go NATIONWIDE...............

Em.....the obits in our paper are $500 - or else I WOULD publish Stinker's story.....

Um - - Gail did not break up with Jim for his farting - - bah ha ha - - I will tell you all later - v. short, don't worry

I have, sillies, something astonishing - - what feels like a COLD - first sign of anything in over two years - swolt glands (swolt up is the correct term), mild sore throat, sore nose, stiff neck, blah feeling......astonishing! Since there is nothing pressing today, I am actually going back to bed to sleep it off - I think it'll be gone by tonight if I do this. Feeling......fuzzy in my brain.

LOW OCTANE - Last night there was a fart at 9:20, I did take note, snortled a bit, it was my fourth of the day.

Wait - are we only counting for a TWELVE-hour period? not 24? that makes sense....hard to know what in hell egresses whilst sleeping...........

Just thought I would tattle on Mango . . . I don't know who she's kidding . . . she sooooo belongs here!!

GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! a good guffaw over that. So...you told them we count our pharts, eh? That'll either bring the true sillies over, or scare them forever.

Last time I made cookies, I froze some of the dough so that I could have cookies on the spot in case of an emergency . . . then I proceded to make several trips a day to the freezer to eat the frozen cookie dough until it was all gone . . . seemed like a good idea Might actually work for someone who has willpower.

this I can relate to........ oops I mean TO THIS I can relate.......

Patti, are you ready for LOST tomorrow??

Richard, it's time to phone home!!!!

Good Gawd, Man!!!! Come back to the Mother Ship for God's sake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[elye]

First, I've found Open Original Shared Link Bring it on!!!!!!

OMG!!!.....

This is fantastic....Bev, I have just sent this link to my two siblings, who will likely order a set of those....no kidding. That's all I'll need...trying to get on the lift, hammered, misjudging and smashing my head on the seat, crumpling in a heap....

Must get a set.

A dearth? I think NOT! Most of mine are doubles- sometimes even triples!

Three in a row? Like a triple peanut....

Oh yeah....and i don't even need to be drunk!!!!!!!

To ski, I may need to be....

This always cracks me up!!! I imagine a man who was into frottaging (Open Original Shared Link) made that term up too! Yeah- I get to hump everyone on the bus on my way to work today because it's HUMP day!!!!!!!!!

Ah, yes. Today is Wednesday...over the hump. I forgot about this expression. Gad, Amanda...I hope the yeti doesn't know that today is Hump Day (he's with you, as I remember?). This could result in injuries. Be careful!

Now I gotta go bake.

This is heinous administrative claptrap. Birthday treats are made for all the teachers, but not the kids? This should never be encouraged....unless the teacher is me, of course, in which case I demand not just birthday treats, but to be taken out for lunch. C'mon, we practise English stuff....really.

Perhaps so!!! Can he bake?! He could make pizza crust for dinner tonight too, and I can take a nap!

Yes, Sarah, you should take the yeti...he is very helpful. However, you need to be fairly proficient at anal-gland expression....

Thanks for the laughter. My son was diag. 1 wk. ago and it has been a roller coasted ride of emotions .

HEY!! Welcome, Matt's Mom! Uh....This is a terrifically amusing place... Okay....back away from computer.........

[blueeyedmanda]

So Sillies just got some bad news! John's car was vandalized and it will cost like $300 to fix. Those kids poured salad dressing into the car....Ugh!

[Darn210]

GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! a good guffaw over that. So...you told them we count our pharts, eh? That'll either bring the true sillies over, or scare them forever.

NO, NO!!! I did not tell them!! Mango comes and listens . . . . . . then slinks away without posting.

Susie, I think the pictures you've been posting of Tika are wonderful. Leave them as long as you want. Did you try checking the classified area . . . the "In Memory Of" area where people would put messages/poems/letters usually on anniversaries or birthdays?

[elye]

So Sillies just got some bad news! John's car was vandalized and it will cost like $300 to fix. Those kids poured salad dressing into the car....Ugh!

Oh, Gawd, Amanda.....That is SO horrid.

What a bunch of misguided little jerks.

Are these the same kids that you're having to stare down at your place?

NO, NO!!! I did not tell them!! Mango comes and listens . . . . . . then slinks away without posting.

Mango...a spy! Well........ .......Vee haf vays to make her tok........

Susie, I think the pictures you've been posting of Tika are wonderful. Leave them as long as you want. Did you try checking the classified area . . . the "In Memory Of" area where people would put messages/poems/letters usually on anniversaries or birthdays?

Susie, I was thinking the same thing. I love those pics....leave them , unless it isn't a good thing for you. Take care of that brewing cold/thing!

[nikki-uk]

Tika's mastercard story ....beautiful

5.24pm = 4 (Four)!!!!

...yes,unfortunately I have a Phlatus DeArth to report due to the cessation of the benefibRE - but hey! ..early days....the red kidney BEANS in the chile dinner may alter the phinal count.......

Amanda - have you reported it to the police????????

[Mango04]

Janet ratted me out!

NO, NO!!! I did not tell them!! Mango comes and listens . . . . . . then slinks away without posting.

You think I'm the spy? Why, I'm much too busy for such things (I do have a cult to lead, you know). We have our very own intelligence agency over in Make-Up Nation...they keep us informed.

Oh, btw, Richard wanted me to let you all know he reached 35 by noon yesterday. If this keeps up we might just have to release him.

[Matt'sMom]

Are you ever doing serious and suddenly that pesky song jumps in your head as you boogie in your head you try not to let them know you have NO idea what was said?

[Green12]

Oh, btw, Richard wanted me to let you all know he reached 35 by noon yesterday. If this keeps up we might just have to release him.

Good one Mango!

Amanda, sorry about your car

Susie, LOVE the pic of Tika in your avatar! Such a beautiful girl.

[elye]

...Phlatus DeArth....

I'm certain that was the name of the strange little guy in my geography class.....

[dlp252]

So what do you do if there are just too many pharts to count!!??!!

Poots, toots, off-gasses (as I posted on the EM thread)...whatever, there are just too many to count!

[DingoGirl]

This is fantastic....Bev, I have just sent this link to my two siblings, who will likely order a set of those....no kidding. That's all I'll need...trying to get on the lift, hammered, misjudging and smashing my head on the seat, crumpling in a heap....

Must get a set.

*snooooooooort*

drunken, crumpling in a heap..............bah ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I"m sorry, but the visual is just...............sooooooooooooo phunny................

So Sillies just got some bad news! John's car was vandalized and it will cost like $300 to fix. Those kids poured salad dressing into the car....Ugh!

this means WAR. Remind me, when I'm not so woozy as am presently from some cough syrup........ I would LOVE to kick their arses...............you MUST file police report over this one.

and then..............as menacingly and confidently as you can........knock on their door...........with receipt for damages........ "I think this bill belongs to you? We'll expect the money within 24 hours." this must be done with FULL badass finesse..........crap.......I can't explain how to do it.......just need to be there...................... GAh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Susie, I think the pictures you've been posting of Tika are wonderful. Leave them as long as you want. Did you try checking the classified area . . . the "In Memory Of" area where people would put messages/poems/letters usually on anniversaries or birthdays?

this is an idea.........the Sunday section has this - maybe cheaper? should I REALLY post the mastercard commercial? (will edit for perfection/finesse)

5.24pm = 4 (Four)!!!!

...yes,unfortunately I have a Phlatus DeArth to report due to the cessation of the benefibRE - but hey! ..early days....the red kidney BEANS in the chile dinner may alter the phinal count.......

phlatus deArth........ :lol:

You think I'm the spy? Why, I'm much too busy for such things (I do have a cult to lead, you know). We have our very own intelligence agency over in Make-Up Nation...they keep us informed.

Oh, btw, Richard wanted me to let you all know he reached 35 by noon yesterday. If this keeps up we might just have to release him.

Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 35 by noon??????????????? Surely levitation to follow.....................SEND HIM BACK TO THE MOTHER SHIP, Mango, OR ELSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He is in teh WRONG cult thread.........we NEED him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Are you ever doing serious and suddenly that pesky song jumps in your head as you boogie in your head you try not to let them know you have NO idea what was said?

Oh Matt's Mom.........skip ahead about 300 pages and discover what the TRUE madness is all about now.................be afraid, be very afraid.........

am supposed to be sleeping off my cold............what in hell...............

I am FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEZING BTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[DingoGirl]

p.s.

only ONE today, and it came out w/ this morning's wee. Always quite satisfying and efficient - the double emission.

[blueeyedmanda]

Let me first say the double emission made me laugh, sounds like something I would totally do.

I did report it to the police who said if we saw the kids anywhere on the property to call the cops as they have active warrants on them. The police are having a hard time tracking them down. As for our situation, I guess we are hoping they can charge them for the car, but since we have no proof it was exactly them that will be hard.

Same arses who stare us down and disrespect all of my neighbors property.

Sad thing is these folks are old enough to be renting apartments and crap, voting doing adult things....yet they act like they are 12...

[nikki-uk]

Double emission wee fart

Found this, midly amusing Open Original Shared Link........I love the way the passengers are trying to pretend nothing's going on..... ...how very British

[elye]

only ONE today, and it came out w/ this morning's wee. Always quite satisfying and efficient - the double emission.

Double emission.....

High-octane........

Sad thing is these folks are old enough to be renting apartments and crap, voting doing adult things....yet they act like they are 12...

OMG!! I thought these were the young, teenaged kids of these tenants...but they're the tenants themselves??

[blueeyedmanda]

OMG!! I thought these were the young, teenaged kids of these tenants...but they're the tenants themselves??

No the mother rents the apartment, her son lives there illegally and he and his friend cause the trouble. Nuts huh?

[Mtndog]

Nikki- That video was VERRRRYY funny! I can't believe no one reacted- I would have gotten up and danced with them. Now we either need to all move to San Francisco to

OR we need to get THEM to join our thread!

Bev - do you already have a set of these poles?

Janet- Of course! Why do you think I'm SO bummed I can't ski this winter

From the EM thread:

Just thought I would tattle on Mango . . . I don't know who she's kidding . . . she sooooo belongs here!!

Oh......A BUSTED MANGO! Mango pulp? BTW, Mango, you look GORGEOuS!!!!! Really!

If i buy that makeup will I look like you? If so, tell me where the hell to buy it NOW as I currently Open Original Shared Link

What the hell! Now I gotta go bake. Luke is such a good kid, I know he'd be fine with just eating his regular snack, and you know what, that makes me even more determined to get the freaking cookies to him on time.

Sarah is not a happy camper.

That is really, really, really LAME!

I can't store cookie dough. It's gone in 24 hours!

Thanks for the laughter . My son was diag. 1 wk. ago and it has been a roller coasted ride of emotions .

Welcome Matt'smom...now strap yourself in! This is where celiac-ism gets really scary!

Good Gawd, Man!!!! Come back to the Mother Ship for God's sake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Mother Ship? After all, hanging with us is like discovering the Mother Lode!

So Sillies just got some bad news! John's car was vandalized and it will cost like $300 to fix. Those kids poured salad dressing into the car....Ugh!

This is just ridiculous....salad dressing? It's not even creative.

Susie, I was thinking the same thing. I love those pics....leave them , unless it isn't a good thing for you. Take care of that brewing cold/thing!

I LOVE the pics too and really hope you feel better. :wub:

[Mtndog]

Whoa..we are 5 pages away from new royalty...who will it be????????????????

[Green12]

Found this, midly amusing Open Original Shared Link........I love the way the passengers are trying to pretend nothing's going on..... ...how very British

Nikki, hilarious!

Do you think this is for reals?

You would think some, if not one, of the passengers would be moved by the music and get in to it.

Oh......A BUSTED MANGO! Mango pulp?

Hee hee, or mango puree?

FEEL BETTER Susie!!!!!!!

[Green12]

Your avatar Bev

Just in time for Valentine's Day:

Open Original Shared Link

This way HE will always be close to your home and your hearts

[Mango04]

Hee hee, or mango puree?

How about mango margarita ? (I'm already puree, might as well add ice and tequila! )

Bevv! Come join our cult..er...I mean...our totally relevant and ungabby thread that strictly deals with" gluten-free foods, products, shopping and medications!"

p.s. I'm trying to find a pic of what I look like without the make-up, but really scary things are coming up in my google searches, and I'm afraid the IT guys at work are going to start to wonder what the heck I'm trying to do over here. LOL

[Darn210]

Now we either need to all move to San Francisco to

OR we need to get THEM to join our thread!

The first rule of (pillow) Fight Club is - you do not talk about (pillow) Fight Club. The second rule of (pillow) Fight Club is - you DO NOT talk about (pillow) Fight Club. Third rule of (pillow) Fight Club, someone yells Stop!, goes limp, taps out, the (pillow) fight is over. Fourth rule, only two guys to a fight. Fifth rule, one (pillow) fight at a time, fellas. Sixth rule, no shirt (well of course not, pillow fights only happen in your underwear), no shoes (except for stilettos). Seventh rule, (pillow) fights will go on as long as they have to. And the eighth and final rule, if this is your first night at (pillow)Fight Club, you have to (pillow) fight.

Janet- Of course! Why do you think I'm SO bummed I can't ski this winter

Just because you can't ski doesn't mean you can't drink alcohol out of ski poles, Silly!!

[blueeyedmanda]

The first rule of (pillow) Fight Club is - you do not talk about (pillow) Fight Club. The second rule of (pillow) Fight Club is - you DO NOT talk about (pillow) Fight Club. Third rule of (pillow) Fight Club, someone yells Stop!, goes limp, taps out, the (pillow) fight is over. Fourth rule, only two guys to a fight. Fifth rule, one (pillow) fight at a time, fellas. Sixth rule, no shirt (well of course not, pillow fights only happen in your underwear), no shoes (except for stilettos). Seventh rule, (pillow) fights will go on as long as they have to. And the eighth and final rule, if this is your first night at (pillow)Fight Club, you have to (pillow) fight.

So true! Very funny!