The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[Darn210]

Congratulations Emily . . . you were obviously saving yourself for a momentous millenial reign!!

I think the school board will be having a large celebratory feet for me.

What does this mean? What are celebratory feet? . . . dancin' feet? . . . lucky feet like a rabbit's foot of a leprechaun's foot or sumphin'? . . . coloUrful feet wearing party hats? . . . what does this mean??????

Duplicate....have no idea how that happened

Oh . . . she knows . . . she's just trying to speed up the process of getting to the next turnover.

[Jestgar]

Jess - Ljubljana???? I can't read anything on the sign-atar. Found that it's the capital of Slovenia, but I feel like I'm missing out on something.

Unfortunately you can't read it. It says:

Society for the Recognition of Sauteed Potato and Onions as an Independent Dish

Patti reminded me that I have all those cool trip photos to use as avatars.

[Green12]

Congratulations Queen Emily!!!

John and I are looking for things we want to do in FL. We are going to visit a lighthouse and we are hoping to go to the Kennedy space center but that is like 40 a person....so we might pass since we have other expenses right now too!!! so exciting!!!

How exciting Amanda! You must see the dolphins somehow, somewhere.

So - I ate the leftover shrimp/asparagus (which were so pithy and undercooked as to feel like eating a TREE TRUNK ) on Sunday..........and today.............. many, many trips to toilet and my BRAIN??????? As bad as it can be, my friends. Crying, emotional, dramatic, and thinking the darkest thoughts ever. I put it together..........our restaurant had failed us as there had been nothing else suspicious or not made from home.

Today's depression was quite dramatic.......horrible...very sad. Dark thoughts.

But - - I have gone to Save Mart and purchased ONLY safe, whole meats/fish/poultry/veggies/fruits - -have to be pure again and make myself right. HARRUMPH!!!!!!!!!!! Been living dangerously because I am trying to seem......normal..........going out and ordering things and eating other things that seemed....easy and right......but not being careful. BOLLOCKS!!!!!!!!!!

I now know that I have to be more strict. Kissey can do his own things away from me and even with me but........*I* have to be quite careful as cannot afford to be this messed up.

and there you have it, phfriends. Susie is a careless, daredevil, gluten-brained, reckless eejit.

Oh Poopy Cow Susie, I am so sorry about this

Well at least you know you can turn this around quickly, like you said you'll just have to be a little more aware and strict with what you eat...but you can do it!!

Anyone else a Corner Gasser?

Of course I read this and thought of a different meaning

<Yes, Nicola IS wearing her trainers sneakers WITH socks as she waits for the call for the feet transplant>

I say we don our most hippyesque clothes, get down to Open Original Shared Link and party the night away!!!!!!!!!!

Nikki

YES, we must have a silly summer solstace celebration, perfect timing with a new Queen.

On to more important news.....I fit into my size 10 crop pants as of this morning!!! And not lay-on-the-bed-and-hold-my-breath-so-I-can-zip- them, either Stood there and zipped 'em right up! I kept them hanging in my closet for 2 years, never giving up hope

Awesome Patti!!!! Congratulations Your Edna has really paid off!!

Yer not gonna believe what my first Official Millenium Monarch Move was:

Mygawd, SO regally hilarious!!

Who, above all else, would be the most overjoyed, the proudest, the HAPPIEST, to know that I slid in as the Millennial Monarch? Well - - I jumped into my car and literally screeched off to Jack's school (it's only five blocks away). I knew they were finishing their outdoor recess, so I went flying around the back to the play yard, grabbed The Ripper by the shoulders and screeched, "I'm Rollover Royalty!! The 1000 Post Queen!!" Jack was, fantastically, only marginally embarrassed - - that's my kid - - and high-fived me, then coaxed the other bewildered children to high-five all around. I think the school board will be having a large celebratory fete for me.

Does Jack realize this does make him Crown Prince of Sillyville?!?!

[Darn210]

I say we don our most hippyesque clothes, get down to Open Original Shared Link and party the night away!!!!!!!!!!

I saw Julie's post/quote and it reminded me, I was going to tell you . . .

Several years ago, before kids, when we had both money and time, hubby and I went on holiday a vacation to England. Whilst perusing postcards in the Stonehenge gift shop, I ran into someone that I worked with . . . go figure.

[Green12]

All hail HRH Emily- the queen for a new millenium.....under her reign we can expect poetry, courtly love and d%$#@#$ baggery!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bev

I suspect there will be lots of d%$#@#$ baggery!

That is so fun to say

Phat Brain for your reign???

Potential band name????

That does sound like a band name Nikki......Phat Brain and the Silly Rhymes

Maybe they will headline the silly summer solstace celebration

[tom]

Unfortunately you can't read it. It says:

Society for the Recognition of Sauteed Potato and Onions as an Independent Dish

where do I sign?

<thx>

Does Jack realize this does make him Crown Prince of Sillyville?!?!

Oooooo very good point!

So Queenie, does he?

Huh does he, huh?

Does he?

[elye]

Jack Yon Ripper, Crown Prince of Sillyville........

Well, we've never pursued the lineages of these fleeting reigns.... .. .I Daresay I do not know if Jack becomes Mini-Royalty. Who knows the Longstanding, Official Edicts?

Oracle Peter? How dost this work?

Awesome Patti!!!! Congratulations Your Edna has really paid off!!

Meant to comment on this, Patti....how terrific! You must feel great about this. An Edna that's working!

I'm having more trouble lately than usual getting my exercise time in - - and it is SO vital as a type one....I still get out there, but it's been a tougher haul the last few weeks. Therefore, as the new monarch, I am decreeing a new word be used, as Edna has successfully supplanted Diet, for the word Exercise. This is also a thing of great heinosity for many.

Now, we should give it a masculine name, I feel, as Edna is feminine. What's a grand, hideous male name? Boris? Olaf? Mervin?

"Wow, I'm proud of myself.. ..I've Olaffed four times this week"....

[Jestgar]

I'm having more trouble lately than usual getting my exercise time in - - and it is SO vital as a type one....I still get out there, but it's been a tougher haul the last few weeks. Therefore, as the new monarch, I am decreeing a new word be used, as Edna has successfully supplanted Diet, for the word Exercise. This is also a thing of great heinosity for many.

Now, we should give it a masculine name, I feel, as Edna is feminine. What's a grand, hideous male name? Boris? Olaf? Mervin?

"Wow, I'm proud of myself.. ..I've Olaffed four times this week"....

How about something that sounds sexy.

Patti, did you have some quality Sven time today?

[Darn210]

How about something that sounds sexy.

Patti, did you have some quality Sven time today?

Hear!! Hear!!! I totally agree with this!!! . . . I'm more likely to pursue Sven than Olaf!!!

[Darn210]

Patti, did you have some quality Sven time today?

Um, Patti? What did you say was the name of your young studmuffin plumber? . . . Sven?

[DingoGirl]

"Wow, I'm proud of myself.. ..I've Olaffed four times this week"....

I read this as offal.......and that is even better........um, do we all know what offal is? I offalled four times this week......."

offal

1: the waste or by-product of a process: as a: trimmings of a hide b: the by-products of milling used especially for stock feeds c: the viscera and trimmings of a butchered animal removed in dressing : variety meat 2: rubbish

I think I like that better, as exercise is just so.......so viscerally hANUS.

and Congrats, Queen Em!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

got naught, sillies. horrible day, in so many ways. Finishing carpet cleaning, at least......

carry on......

:weaksmile:

[jerseyangel]

Oh . . . she knows . . . she's just trying to speed up the process of getting to the next turnover.

snort

Society for the Recognition of Sauteed Potato and Onions as an Independent Dish

M-m-m-m...funny and delicious....(Homer Simpson voice)

Awesome Patti!!!! Congratulations Your Edna has really paid off!!

So far, so good

Several years ago, before kids, when we had both money and time, hubby and I went on holiday a vacation to England. Whilst perusing postcards in the Stonehenge gift shop, I ran into someone that I worked with . . . go figure.

Wow--small world!

Jack Yon Ripper, Crown Prince of Sillyville........

Yes!!!! I like it....PeOter?

Patti, did you have some quality Sven time today?

I have to say that I do better with Edna than with Sven Whoda thunk it?

got naught, sillies. horrible day, in so many ways. Finishing carpet cleaning, at least......

Aw Soozle....hang on, the reaction has to run it's stupid course and then you'll be all sillie again. And you'll have nice clean carpets

[DingoGirl]

OMG

I have a neighbor, who lives across the street, and he is really, really - - either antisocial or just plain unfriendly or just......odd. He is hardly ever spotted, first of all.......is a nurse and works nights, I think.....lives alone, very quiet, hardly a visitor - EVER - and hardly even waves or acknowledges my presence. 'tis disquieting.

So just now, I dashed out furtively to get the mail, as I am in the midst of carpet shampoo and am wearing pajama bottoms and a tank top, unshowered and quite slovenly. NO ONE walks outside to get his or her mail, dressed like this, in this 'hood. (just me, and regularly>

He is walking out at the same instant I am, waves hello, says hello........and what do I say?????????????

<tourette's again>

"oh hi, I"m shampooing my carpets, not just lounging about in my pajamas all day" with a breezy laugh.......

and I am met with complete, dead, awkward silence. NOt a laugh, a comment, a smile, nothing......

He is sooooooooooo scared of me.......

and why do I feel I have to 'splain myself?

poopy cow. must watch my ridiculous babblings

carry on, sillies...........

[elye]

Um, Patti? What did you say was the name of your young studmuffin plumber? . . . Sven?

Yes!! Patti, you must find out what The Plumber's name is, and that should be it...

So funny that SVEN would be considered a sexy name, as when I hear it, all I can think of is that old, decrepit, lecherous geezer that was a character in Another World about twenty-five years ago - - he kept Rachel prisoner in some hovel, I believe, with the help of his wife, Helga (another terrific name).. ... .

As a result, my mom and I took the name SVEN into our family lexicon to mean a doddering, but evil, old fool.....

Quite hilarious, as it took on a life of its own...... .. .

But that makes it even phunnier as a synonym for exercise.

Gotta start Svenning and Ednaing more - - the weight's creepin' on...... ... ..

got naught, sillies. horrible day, in so many ways. Finishing carpet cleaning, at least......

Ah, Susie.... ..so sorry to hear this. That bad foodstuffs.......feel better soon..

[elye]

I have a neighbor, who lives across the street, and he is really, really - - either antisocial or just plain unfriendly or just......odd. He is hardly ever spotted, first of all.......is a nurse and works nights, I think.....lives alone, very quiet, hardly a visitor - EVER - and hardly even waves or acknowledges my presence. 'tis disquieting.

It's okay, Susie... ... .ya know what?

Think it's my dad........... . . . . .....

[blueeyedmanda]

It is amazing that 8 hrs can go by and I can get a ton of work done and yet I still have a mountain to climb and it appears that I really got nothing accomplished at all....I even cut back my silly time.....I am getting buried in my work this calls for a big Harrumph!!!!

[jerseyangel]

So funny that SVEN would be considered a sexy name, as when I hear it, all I can think of is that old, decrepit, lecherous geezer that was a character in Another World about twenty-five years ago - - he kept Rachel prisoner in some hovel, I believe, with the help of his wife, Helga (another terrific name).. ... .

OMGawd Emily--I remember Sven and Helga from "Another World"

My mom used to watch that show, and it was on when I would get home from school. I got hooked on it then, and watched or kept up with it over the years.....stopped a year or so before it finally went off the air.

[nikki-uk]

What does this mean? What are celebratory feet? . . . dancin' feet? . . . lucky feet like a rabbit's foot of a leprechaun's foot or sumphin'? . . . coloUrful feet wearing party hats? . . . what does this mean??????

Don't care - just get me THE FEET!!

I saw Julie's post/quote and it reminded me, I was going to tell you . . .

Several years ago, before kids, when we had both money and time, hubby and I went on holiday a vacation to England. Whilst perusing postcards in the Stonehenge gift shop, I ran into someone that I worked with . . . go figure.

*gasp*!! .....spookily small world!!!!!

Ok, Sven and Edna ...the bane of me bloomin' life!!! ....but Patteigh, do tell!! What's yer secret?????

Soozles....big {{{{hugs}}}}}}

.

[jerseyangel]

Ok, Sven and Edna ...the bane of me bloomin' life!!! ....but Patteigh, do tell!! What's yer secret?????

No big secret....I'm off sugar and grains and keeping my sodium intake very low. This, along with my food intolerances, leaves me with meats, veggies (not legumes), fruits (not cocanut or citrus), nuts, seeds, olive oil, almond butter, and spring water.

It's actually not too bad--I don't really limit portions except to use common sense. I eat potatoes once or twice a week.

Gotta get me arse in gear for some Sven, though

[Green12]

Ah Sven!!! Sven was a very cute foreign exhcange student from Norway at my high school. Me likey Sven

Soushizzle, ((((HUGS)))). Sorry today is not a good day. Glad you finished your carpet shampooing though, that must feel slightly good to complete the task.

BTW, you must have the cleanest carpet in all of Stepford, it seems every time I wander back to Sillyville you are shampooing the carpets

Poor Nikki, the agony of da feet! Couldn't resist

Yes Patti, what is yer secret, is it solely your Edna?? No Sven-ing at all? How many weeks has it been?

Truly an inspiration you are

[DingoGirl]

It's okay, Susie... ... .ya know what?

Think it's my dad........... . . . . .....

if only it were........what FUN he'd be as a neighbor!!!!!!!!!!!!! But Jeez, Em, he's REALLY out of character in this role.......nary a peep........a smile.........a laugh......outstanding performance!

Soushizzle, ((((HUGS)))). Sorry today is not a good day. Glad you finished your carpet shampooing though, that must feel slightly good to complete the task.

BTW, you must have the cleanest carpet in all of Stepford, it seems every time I wander back to Sillyville you are shampooing the carpets

Lurve the new spelling, Jyewl-eee.

No, not the cleanest carpets here, at all. Filthy, in fact.........must do it oftener.....WANT TO RIP THEM OUT!!!!!!!!

Sillies - thanks for the hugs and kind words. This has been happening wayyyyyyy too much lately - and I know why. It's beause I'm in a relationship, and want to be more normal, impose less inconvenience. Can't do this......have to be quite strict again - not just eat the sausage w/ natural flavors because - it's there and I"m hungry and don't want to be a bother.

Almost finished....................

been agony - left alone w/ the dingo thoughts........

[jerseyangel]

been agony - left alone w/ the dingo thoughts........

Don't forget--you're never really alone, you always have us

[Jestgar]

Don't forget--you're never really alone, you always have us

maybe that's worse than being alone

[jerseyangel]

Yes Patti, what is yer secret, is it solely your Edna?? No Sven-ing at all? How many weeks has it been?

Pretty much just the Edna. It's been about 5 weeks--I went to the doctor last week (a month since my last visit) and I had lost 11 pounds. (!)

No formal Sven, but I've been pretty physically active with painting, working outside, that kind of stuff. I really do need to start Svenning, though. There's a point at which the weight loss is gonna stop or slow considerably if I don't.

Gotta ease into it....

[jerseyangel]

maybe that's worse than being alone

The thought crossed my mind as I wrote that--motley crew that we are