The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[blueeyedmanda]

Just back from Las Vegas, and just wanted to inform my silly friends that BETTI the YETI is alive and well in Las Vegas. Yes, indeed. I saw ONE slot machine in ONE casino called Betti the Yeti, so in honor of my friends here in sillyville, I had to play it. True to the gist of what I've read here...Betti the Yeti was not good to me!

Welcome Back Donna! Sorry to hear Betti was not a good friend.....I have not had luck at our casino either.....

[jerseyangel]

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to

ask his advice in reviving her husband's libido.

'What about trying Viagra?' asked the doctor.

'Not a chance', she said. 'He won't even

take an aspirin.

'Not a problem,' replied the doctor. 'Give him

an 'Irish Viagra'. It's when you drop the Viagra

tablet into his coffee. He won't even taste it. Give

it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things

went.

It wasn't a week later when she called the doctor, who

directly inquired as to her progress. The poor dear

exclaimed, 'Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T'was

horrid! Just terrible, doctor!'

'Really? What happened?' asked the doctor.

Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee

and the effect was almost immediate. He jumped straight

up, with a twinkle in his eye and with his pants a-bulging

fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he sent me cups and

tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me

then and there passionately on the tabletop! It was a

nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!'

'Why so terrible? asked the doctor, 'do you mean

the sex your husband provided wasn't good?'

'Twas the best sex I've had in 25 years! But sure

as I'm sittin here, I'll never be able to show me

face in Starbucks again!

Em and I better watch out!

[dlp252]

so. Was I too harsh? Should I have gone with him anyway?

I'd have been miffed...you had talked with him about it last night. I'm thinking the two biggest water using items isn't a new thing either...can't have been the first time that issue has come up. I think miffed was appropriate!

'Twas the best sex I've had in 25 years! But sure

as I'm sittin here, I'll never be able to show me

face in Starbucks again!

!! Um, wow, I went to Starbucks 4 times in Vegas!

Edited to add: JUST FOR COFFEE FOLKS!!! Just for coffee I say!

[tom]

Hehe P

[jerseyangel]

Edited to add: JUST FOR COFFEE FOLKS!!! Just for coffee I say!

Yeah, yeah, that what they all say!

Welcome back, Donna

Jess--Considering that you two had spoken about the water situation before and given his snippy reply this morning, I don't blame you for being ticked off. I'm thinking you feel somewhat badly for not going to his hearing with him, but if he felt so strongly about you going with him, I would think he'd have handled his side of the exchange a bit differently.

Is he usually like that? Maybe he was nervous?

[jerseyangel]

Hehe P

[Green12]

!! Um, wow, I went to Starbucks 4 times in Vegas!

Edited to add: JUST FOR COFFEE FOLKS!!! Just for coffee I say!

Donna

WELCOME BACK How was Vegas? Win anything??

I'm so excited today is Psilly Psummit!! Can't wait to hear about your meeting Patti and Emily

[jerseyangel]

I'm so excited today is Psilly Psummit!! Can't wait to hear about your meeting Patti and Emily

We'll be thinking about all of you.

[dlp252]

WELCOME BACK How was Vegas? Win anything??

Nope! But I did manage to come home with money, lol! And, considering how much the food has gone up in a year or so since we were there last, that's kind of amazing, lol.

We DID play enough to get two free buffet dinners at the Wynn (a most EXCELLENT buffet), which would have cost us $35 each.

[Green12]

We'll be thinking about all of you.

I think I can speak for pretty much everybody when I say....I'm jealous!

We DID play enough to get two free buffet dinners at the Wynn (a most EXCELLENT buffet), which would have cost us $35 each.

Phree phood is good, and especially a most excellent buphet!!

I can't stop with the ph's!

[Jestgar]

Jess--Considering that you two had spoken about the water situation before and given his snippy reply this morning, I don't blame you for being ticked off. I'm thinking you feel somewhat badly for not going to his hearing with him, but if he felt so strongly about you going with him, I would think he'd have handled his side of the exchange a bit differently.

Is he usually like that? Maybe he was nervous?

He is never ever wrong. I am always inappropriately emotional when he acts like a jerk just does what every normal person would do.

Have fun you two (or is it 'hope you're having fun'?, what time is it there anyway?)

[dlp252]

I can't stop with the ph's!

Yes, it was phabUloUs! But no phortUne was had! PhortUnately I left enoUph money under the mat of my car to get out of the parking lot!

[blueeyedmanda]

We DID play enough to get two free buffet dinners at the Wynn (a most EXCELLENT buffet), which would have cost us $35 each.

Nice Better than nothing

[Green12]

with kuri'us speling tentencees

Very kurius

My sweetie proposed to me in N.H. ....

Laura and her sweetie

Oh....I believe I mentioned the free alcoholic beverages from 5:30 to 7;30 in our lovely hotel lounge. Well, after sitting at the bar for a while, chatting with the lovely Americans around me, I brought up....yes, it's true....ANAL GLANDS.

Then the Yeti. (DH and children LONG GONE, as you can imagine)....

I began chortling unabashedly. These guys tried to figure out why I was bringing these things up....then, I am certain, just thought, "Hell, this is one pissed Canuck chick.....Northern yetis and their anal glands?? I am SO outta here".....

And off they staggered to the lovely Australian tourists at the table close to the bathroom...

So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!...the husband became 92

years old.

The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember

fairies are female.....

Ah, yes... That's the Waiting-For-You-to-Leave-So-I-Can-Poop Silence. Sometimes I just wanna yell... "Just poop already! You're gonna give yourself a hemorrhoid!"

yes, the shy bowel, or, more popularly known as our newest ban, Shy Sphincter and the Reluctant Floaters.

Yes, the shy bowel

'Twas the best sex I've had in 25 years! But sure

as I'm sittin here, I'll never be able to show me

face in Starbucks again!

Em and I better watch out!

Jess, I agree with what everyone else said. Given you discussed it the night before, I can see why you would be more than irritated, and then his reply seemed to be one of that he didn't really care, or worse, you were overreacting. Maybe he just wasn't thinking because of the stress of the interview?

Amanda, I'm sorry to hear you are still having trouble breathing

[Mtndog]

Hi DONNA!!!!!!!!!! Wasssssup????????

Just back from Las Vegas, and just wanted to inform my silly friends that BETTI the YETI is alive and well in Las Vegas. Yes, indeed. I saw ONE slot machine in ONE casino called Betti the Yeti, so in honor of my friends here in sillyville, I had to play it. True to the gist of what I've read here...Betti the Yeti was not good to me!

Betti the Yeti stole your change (petty, that is!)

Welcome back Donna!! Fresh from being mauled by a yeti

Ok guys, I need a judgment call on my behavior.

Was I too harsh? Should I have gone with him anyway?

Jess- it was a Yeti on viagra :lol:

In regards to your behavioUr, you were a complete farking jackbutt No- that's totally understandable. If you guys have talked about this before- I don't blame ya...and he is a gown man!!!!! That's just poor roomate etiquette! Ii don't even do that to my hubby.....nothing worse than a COLD shower.

Edited to add: JUST FOR COFFEE FOLKS!!! Just for coffee I say!

Oh gawd......the fact that you even have to remind them of this is hystericalectomoUs

We'll be thinking about all of you.

yah, yah. Sure....you'll be talking ABOUT us......I'm sure it will be a BORING coversation....tee hee!

[nikki-uk]

In regards to your behavioUr, you were a complete farking jackbutt

*snooooort*

No, I don't think you were unreasonable Jess but Bev's sentence made me LOL!!

Patti and Emily rendevousing as we speak???

[blueeyedmanda]

I wish I was well enough to join the Silly Summit!!!!! This sucks!

[Jestgar]

In regards to your behavioUr, you were a complete farking jackbutt

:lol: This may be my new favorite expression of exasperation.

[nikki-uk]

:lol: This may be my new favorite expression of exasperation.

Me too

[nikki-uk]

yah, yah. Sure....you'll be talking ABOUT us......I'm sure it will be a BORING coversation....tee hee!

.......and remember, whilst they (Emily & Patti) are talking about us they are leaving someone else alone

[Mtndog]

:lol: This may be my new favorite expression of exasperation.

I LOVE you guys!!!!!!!!!!!

.......and remember, whilst they (Emily & Patti) are talking about us they are leaving someone else alone

OK- let's see. I'll start. If Patti was any nicer she'd make me look like Linda Blair in The Exorcist (what? I already do?)

Emily- hmmmm.....I bet Emily wears maple leaf bras made of REAL maple leafs.

OK- can't think of anything mean. They are too cool for school!

[Jestgar]

I LOVE you guys!!!!!!!!!!!

OK- let's see. I'll start. If Patti was any nicer she'd make me look like Linda Blair in The Exorcist (what? I already do?)

Emily- hmmmm.....I bet Emily wears maple leaf bras made of REAL maple leafs.

OK- can't think of anything mean. They are too cool for school!

But apparently not too cool for stool, since one or the other a' tem usually brings it up.

[nikki-uk]

If Patti was any nicer she'd make me look like Linda Blair in The Exorcist (what? I already do?)

With spinning head as optional??

Emily- hmmmm.....I bet Emily wears maple leaf bras made of REAL maple leafs.

and ....ummm <thinking of another stereotypical Canadian thing >

With a lumber jack shirt????

OK- can't think of anything mean.

GAHHHHHHHHhhhhhh!!

I knoooowwww

But apparently not too cool for stool,

well we all gotta go!!!

HEyBEVVVVVVVVVVV!!!!!!

Can your Swedish house guests help with assembling some Ikea furniture????

Why are there so many screws left over???

[dollamasgetceliac?]

Open Original Shared Link

Jewels " I hauve a Faimos frend in the US. She is an Aktris, I think she has seliac but does not mind being thin"

Then later " I am making a Necklace For I think Terri Hatcher

Terri Hatcher wrote a book" Burnt Toast"

Sorry for being away so long " I have been trying to learn how to bake a cake, what a disaster" .

[elye]

Oh..... ... . . . . !!!

Wow.

So. I have just had the fortunate opportunity to meet, in the flesh, THE most meet-able, rewardingly kind, phunny member of this phorum. Think of everything you would imagine Patti to be like in real life.....well, it's all there: lovely, patient, listens to everything (I mean everything - - oh, gawd...) you say, informative, hilarious....yep, just too much.

Patti will be first to get the pics up, as I do not have my USB cord with me. Be ready....hold one another... .. ..

And Mark!! OMG......Charming and hilarious. Jack cannot stop commenting on how phunny this man is - - direct quote - - "Mom, Mark paid attention to everything I said, and he even kept looking at me in my eyes. That is rare, and it made me feel great!"

We lured the Pattis from Starbucks to our open house at the hotel, and furthered our amazing chatter on the patio with wine.

Now, everyone...Patti, I know, probably wasn't feeling the best, as she has her blood work tomorrow and mentioned she wasn't 100%. But I just keep thinking, MAN, what in hell is she like when she's ON?

Thanks SO much, Patti, for welcoming me to your beautiful neck of the woods, especially when you likely weren't feeling terrific.

If you guys ever get even a remote chance to meet this great woman in person, do whatever it takes!

I did NOT wear me bib. But a couple of the pics taken are of just our breasts, and you will have to guess whose are whose.