The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[elye]

You rang? Have been thinking bout a rhyme for today. May have to borrow one for inspiration:

The Man Not Taken

Bevel! Mr. Frost would be most impressed. . ....!!

Buh-kneeeeee......okay, good, the itchies have dissipated. Hmm......... . .. ...ya look like a scary thang, though? I say you go to work. It will be amusing to see people's reactions. . . . ....

(much less polite)

("honey......stop LOOKING at her like that! The poor thing.. . . .....")

[Jestgar]

Amanda! I was awoken from a sound sleep this morning at 6:15 to the sound of Allo peeing in the corner of my bedroom all over the carpet. I went to scoop him up and take him to the litter box, but as I got out of bed, I had a sudden charley horse in my calf and stumbled. I think the poor thing is losing it

Patti, get his kidneys checked. He might just need supplemental fluid.

[nikki-uk]

I was awoken from a sound sleep this morning at 6:15 to the sound of Allo peeing in the corner of my bedroom all over the carpet. I went to scoop him up and take him to the litter box, but as I got out of bed, I had a sudden charley horse in my calf and stumbled. I think the poor thing is losing it

Poor ole Allo

We think our mean girl cat (Lucy) has dementia

A phormer meticulously clean cat, she has taken to peeing on Daniel's bed (he is not terribly happy with this new trick of hers ) .....but also, everytime I move she trots out to the phood bowl, meows pitiphully for more .....until I remind her she just ate

She's all...'I just ate???.....really????.....ugh!...I'm getting SOO phat'

5 minutes later we go through the WHOLE process again

[elye]

.....but also, everytime I move she trots out to the phood bowl, meows pitiphully for more .....until I remind her she just ate

She's all...'I just ate???.....really????.....ugh!...I'm getting SOO phat'

5 minutes later we go through the WHOLE process again

Mygawd. . .. . . . .....my parents' retirement residence, a million times over. .. . ......

Pahdeigh, I'm thinking about Poor Wee Allo....... . . . . ..yes, get him checked out.....it could very well be a hydrating issue, and he'll be good as new for a few more years....!

[jerseyangel]

Poor ole Allo

We think our mean girl cat (Lucy) has dementia

A phormer meticulously clean cat, she has taken to peeing on Daniel's bed (he is not terribly happy with this new trick of hers ) .....but also, everytime I move she trots out to the phood bowl, meows pitiphully for more .....until I remind her she just ate

She's all...'I just ate???.....really????.....ugh!...I'm getting SOO phat'

5 minutes later we go through the WHOLE process again

Nik!!!!!!!!!!!!

Allo does this very same thing! He acts desperate for phood at times, whining pitifully--and this is a kitty who has never wanted fer his next meal

It's tough watching them getting old--Allo's also lost weight and you can tell his arthritis is bothering him.

Jess--he does drink his water, we put ice cubes in to entice him since he really likes it that way. I give him fresh several times a day, and keep a good eye out since we lost a cat years ago to kidney disease The minute he stops drinking, I'm on it.

Gawd, poor Daniel.....can he keep his bedroom door closed when not in use?

[Jestgar]

Nik!!!!!!!!!!!!

Allo does this very same thing! He acts desperate for phood at times, whining pitifully--and this is a kitty who has never wanted fer his next meal

It's tough watching them getting old--Allo's also lost weight and you can tell his arthritis is bothering him.

Jess--he does drink his water, we put ice cubes in to entice him since he really likes it that way. I give him fresh several times a day, and keep a good eye out since we lost a cat years ago to kidney disease The minute he stops drinking, I'm on it.

Gawd, poor Daniel.....can he keep his bedroom door closed when not in use?

ummm, he might need you to inject fluid a couple times a week.

[JNBunnie1]

Oh, anyone who's interested in speculating on the design of my particular rash is welcome to PM with their email.

[Judyin Philly]

sO MUCH TO COMMENT ON

NO.........DIDN'T SMOKE...WAS COMMENTING ON THE 'SMOKING' ALERT FROM C.COM

BUT.............i'M ON MY 20TH PEPPERMINT ALITOID..........GOD I'M ADDICTED TO EVERYTHING.

I WONDER IF YOU CAN SMOKE OTHER THINGS IN ME GARDEN MAYBE I CAN PLANT SOME 'MARY JANE' FOR THE NEW OWNERS.

dig 'em up and mail 'em to yerself

THERESA AND JESS....THERE IS A 4 PAGE LIST OF RULES......... CA ISN'T PLANT FRIENDLY FOR ME

OMG. .... . . .

Um, why does no one else have these things going on in their lives?

CAUSE SOME OF US LIVE IN THE BASEMENT AND NEVER GET OUT

OMG JUUUDE! I read this and I thought YOU were smoking one!!! I'm wondering as I read....smoking one what? I thought she quit smoking....what IS it she's smoking? Had to re-read this a couple of times to "get it"

OMG....this never occurred to me....perhaps this is why Jooooodie is often so phunny....and she spends a great deal of time out in her gardens, amongst various flora. .. . . ..perhaps she is smoking some rhododendrons or lilies er sumphin'. . . . ...

ER SUMPHIN ......for sure

Forgot to mention -- last evening, the camera guy started the piece by taking a close shot of the pic in my av, and then cutting to my parents sitting beside each other as they give each other a kiss. He asked them at one point, "Hey! Do you two think you could replicate the pose in your beach photo? I could cut from it to you, doing the same thing, same position, sixty-odd years later".........

Dear gawd. I am SO relieved to say that it was not considered something that they would even think of attempting.

this was a riot...........you'd have the sillies on the computer while TV crew was there

DANGER!!! DANGER!!!!! Methinks Mistress Joodee smoketh the morning glory seed

********************************************

TOTALLY CRAP MUM ALERT!!!!!!

Oh heck!!!!!!!!!!

Everytime Alan goes to any of his youth clubs I send him with some snacks AND a can of diet coke ( BAAAAAD mummy!)

As I'm poor <did I hear the violins? > I bought Tesco's 'own brand.

Every Mon eve he complains his belly is 'fat' (he means bloated)........ payed NO attention

Dunno WHAT made me notice today but it CONTAINS GLUTEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT IN HELL?????????

I've become a tad complacent methinks

don't beat thy self up me love.............we ain't perfect............almost but not quite

Working on an Ode to the Psillies

loved todays can't wait for tomorrows.

THANK YOU, DEAR SWEET BABY JESUS!!!!!!!

I has killed the itch!!!

thanks god

Poor ole Allo

AH POOR ALLO.....................

We think our mean girl cat (Lucy) has dementia

A phormer meticulously clean cat, she has taken to peeing on Daniel's bed (he is not terribly happy with this new trick of hers ) .....but also, everytime I move she trots out to the phood bowl, meows pitiphully for more .....until I remind her she just ate

She's all...'I just ate???.....really????.....ugh!...I'm getting SOO phat'

5 minutes later we go through the WHOLE process again

HELL THIS SOUNDS LIKE ME...........ARE YOU CALLING ME DEMENTED?

GOING TO GET OFF BEFORE I BARF UP ALL THE ALTOIDS OR HAVE A LONG WHITE THING.........

[elye]

HELL THIS SOUNDS LIKE ME...........ARE YOU CALLING ME DEMENTED?

GOING TO GET OFF BEFORE I BARF UP ALL THE ALTOIDS OR HAVE A LONG WHITE THING.........

Dear gawd, this whole post. . . ..... .Jooooodeighhhhhh! You is heelarryus. . . ....

SOOO happy to hear you've abstained from the vicious weed. . ......good fer you!! How long has it been? We need to regularly commend you and cheer you on,. . . ....this is such a huge thing!

[Judyin Philly]

Dear gawd, this whole post. . . ..... .Jooooodeighhhhhh! You is heelarryus. . . ....

SOOO happy to hear you've abstained from the vicious weed. . ......good fer you!! How long has it been? We need to regularly commend you and cheer you on,. . . ....this is such a huge thing!

YES.....YOU BET YOUR BIPPY IT'S A HUGE FRIGGING THING AND IT'S A ROYAL PAIN IN ME ARSE.....

I GUESS THAT'S WHY THEY CALL IT ADDICTION..............GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

GEE LOST TRACK KNOW 4 MONTHS........DON'T KNOW DAYS BUT WILL COUNT IT OUT.

GOING TO SO SUCK ON A POP CYCLE........WHA.......HOOOOOO

PS ..........WOULD LOVE TO SEE SOME ONE PUT YOUR MOM AND DADS HEADS ON YOU AVATAR.........

NOW THERE'S A THOUGHT TO KEEP YOU PONDERING YOUR FEE TIME.

I'M OFF THIS COMPUTER ...........NEED A BREAK

THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT EM

YOUR THE BEST

[flourgirl]

Hey Juuude! You mean, like, use Ems pholks in our Avs like you all did with Sam Hill Manhead? That could be a riot! Glad you aren't smoking anything. Watch out for those Pop Cycles, tho. Guess we can put the Robot away for another day. Except maybe to get him to scream Dangers and Warnings when we get too close to the mad Gluten!

Summery weekend coming up! Wish it would STAY.....summer for 3 seasons and spring instead of winter!

[curlyfries]

I is here!!!!!........Where is everbody?????..........I see Judy squiggling!<wavingfrantically>

I've been keeping up at work , but don't log in, so haven't been posting. Y'all remember I was always the one talkin to meself or Soozle late at night?.......HAH!........I was asleep by 8:00 the other night! I think I have a lot of catching up still to do.

My size is "Holy Crap Where Are They"!!

Have I told you about our IBTC?.....That's the Itty Bitty Titty Committee. I think I left what little bit I had left back in Houston. Why not.....Brian left part of himself in Houston!

You bet your bippy!!!.......Haven't heard that in a looooong time.......although to be historically correct, it should be..."you bet your sweet bippy"!!.....Where did that originate from, anyway?

Tinkerbell will often cry to be fed when she still has food in her dish, so I just move the food around with my fingers so she can hear it, and she's happy. She's real picky though....when she eats, little pieces fall back into the dish, as she doesn't eat the pieces whole. She won't eat those pieces ..........does anyone know of a cat that will only eat tiny pieces?.......I'd sell 'em real cheap!

Can't remember who else to comment on........everyone's been absolutely heelarious!........still don't quite feel psilly enough to comment on them all........but I'm workin on it!

Grrrrrr........haven't been on in days and what do you know..........I get a phone call!

[Jestgar]

Have I told you about our IBTC?.....That's the Itty Bitty Titty Committee. I think I left what little bit I had left back in Houston. Why not.....Brian left part of himself in Houston!

D'ya suppose they've hooked up and are wandering around together?

Who does the walking?

[elye]

D'ya suppose they've hooked up and are wandering around together?

Who does the walking?

Indeed, who, then?

Hi, Leeeeesargh! You sound so great and phunnee!

I miss Sooozle..........and Jooooles....... . . and Ptaoughmghmn!! .. . . And where's Jyahgnutt been?

What in hell's goin' on, here?

[curlyfries]

D'ya suppose they've hooked up and are wandering around together?

Who does the walking?

My little boobies are not doin all the walkin if they're accompanied by one poifectly capable foot!......OK, this is just getting a little too weird

[curlyfries]

I miss Sooozle..........and Jooooles....... . . and Ptaoughmghmn!! .. . . And where's Jyahgnutt been?

What in hell's goin' on, here?

I know...........I was just thinking the same thing...........and Sarah

I think maybe Jan-knit needs to walk away from the doggie drugs

[curlyfries]

Just remembered.........Janet is getting ready for her big garage sale.........I guess she doesn't do it like I do.........put it off til the last minute, then stay up the night before, frantically organizing and pricing.........

GYAN-NIT!!!.......Don't forget to put up yer signs and get some change for the cash box!!!!!

[JNBunnie1]

My little boobies are not doin all the walkin if they're accompanied by one poifectly capable foot!......OK, this is just getting a little too weird

Who lost a foot?!?!?!?!?

Gee, I really need to try harder to keep up......

[flourgirl]

Hey Leez....so good to see you!!! Bet your Bippy, I think came from Laugh-in. That's where I remember hearing it!!! Rowan and Martin and their cast of crazies. I can't believe we were allowed to watch such a "racy" program "Sock it to me"

(to the tune of I Left My Heart In San Francisco")

I left my booooooobs, in Houston Texas.

And there's a foot back there with them.

Ah! Can't think when I'm feeling pressured....I need to get my butt out the door and go to work.

Hope your all have the psilliest of days...bright and shiny!

[nikki-uk]

Morning pholks!!!!

The last of the sunny days today......back to dull,chilly, grEyness as from tomorrow

JOODEE's outta the basement and EVEN phunnier sans tobacco!!!!!

LEIGH-SAHHH!!!!!

Weeeelll HEEEELLLLLOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Hows tricks??? ......you still exhausted?????

I think maybe Jan-knit needs to walk away from the doggie drugs

You know it Lea- ser!!!

A most hanus accident occured this morning THAT only 'clumsy Tel' could achieve I think.....

...he has BROKEN the WASHING MACHINE

(NO!, he did NOT attempt to use it )

Tel was gathering all the items for the recycling bin we keep, he dropped an empty glass (cider ) bottle and it hit the glass door of the washer smashing a big hole in it (our washers are nearly always 'front loaders' here)

DEAR GAAAAWD?!?!?!

What's a girl to do???....... the repair man's not coming 'til THURSDAY! ....he better have big thumbs is ALL i can say!!!!!!!

GAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy phriday peeps!!!!!!

[elye]

Hey Leez....so good to see you!!! Bet your Bippy, I think came from Laugh-in. That's where I remember hearing it!!! Rowan and Martin and their cast of crazies. I can't believe we were allowed to watch such a "racy" program "Sock it to me"

<Squished-up face, nasally li'l voice> "One ringy-dingy.....*snort*......Two ringy-dingies....!"

(to the tune of I Left My Heart In San Francisco")

I left my booooooobs, in Houston Texas.

And there's a foot back there with them.

OMG. . . . . . .....black humoUr, indeed, can retain one's sanity. . . . ...

...he has BROKEN the WASHING MACHINE

What's a girl to do???....... the repair man's not coming 'til THURSDAY! ....he better have big thumbs is ALL i can say!!!!!!!

What in hell, Nikkers? You will be re-wearing dirty underthings fer a week?

Um, pholks......we're puttin' off our cross-Atlantic Psilly jaunt to Nik's until early May. . . . .....

Jyahgnutt's garage sale. .. .... ...such labour-intensive things, these organized activities where you end up sitting with yer tatt on display for all to pick through. .. .... I tell ya, you need a show-stopping item, like a Walmart frame with a gorgeous model still within it. . ...

Well, I take my dad to his pre-op today. I think the surgery is April 29. . ....must check. He is in great spirits....wants it over and done with!

[Judyin Philly]

Morning pholks!!!!

The last of the sunny days today......back to dull,chilly, grEyness as from tomorrow

JOODEE's outta the basement and EVEN phunnier sans tobacco!!!!!

LEIGH-SAHHH!!!!!

Weeeelll HEEEELLLLLOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Hows tricks??? ......you still exhausted?????

You know it Lea- ser!!!

A most hanus accident occured this morning THAT only 'clumsy Tel' could achieve I think.....

...he has BROKEN the WASHING MACHINE

(NO!, he did NOT attempt to use it )

Tel was gathering all the items for the recycling bin we keep, he dropped an empty glass (cider ) bottle and it hit the glass door of the washer smashing a big hole in it (our washers are nearly always 'front loaders' here)

DEAR GAAAAWD?!?!?!

What's a girl to do???....... the repair man's not coming 'til THURSDAY! ....he better have big thumbs is ALL i can say!!!!!!!

GAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy phriday peeps!!!!!!

the whole thing............ good wake up post

SORRY about the glass on the washing machine......guess you do undies by hand for a few days

<Squished-up face, nasally li'l voice> "One ringy-dingy.....*snort*......Two ringy-dingies....!"

OMG. . . . . . .....black humoUr, indeed, can retain one's sanity. . . . ...

What in hell, Nikkers? You will be re-wearing dirty underthings fer a week?

Um, pholks......we're puttin' off our cross-Atlantic Psilly jaunt to Nik's until early May. . . . .....

Jyahgnutt's garage sale. .. .... ...such labour-intensive things, these organized activities where you end up sitting with yer tatt on display for all to pick through. .. .... I tell ya, you need a show-stopping item, like a Walmart frame with a gorgeous model still within it. . ...

Well, I take my dad to his pre-op today. I think the surgery is April 29. . ....must check. He is in great spirits....wants it over and done with!

I'm sorry i forget what the operation is for?

Can you remeind me? Good luck

[blueeyedmanda]

Morning Sillies

I am so happy tis going to be warm out this weekend. It is going to be a busy weekend as well.

Tomorrow is John's sisters bridal shower and then my family is coming to visit on Sunday. We are going to head to the flea market and have some fun. It will be the first time my dad sees our new house so I am excited.

Guess I best go back to work. Bye everyone!

[DingoGirl]

sillies - been up all night - KILLER insomnia

everything was even phunnier when I read it this morn, though

my boss thinks I'm coming in but.......for intern pay (STILL ) , it's hardly worth my time....

OMG JUUUDE! I read this and I thought YOU were smoking one!!! I'm wondering as I read....smoking one what? I thought she quit smoking....what IS it she's smoking? Had to re-read this a couple of times to "get it"

cracked me up!

TOTALLY CRAP MUM ALERT!!!!!!

Oh heck!!!!!!!!!!

Everytime Alan goes to any of his youth clubs I send him with some snacks AND a can of diet coke ( BAAAAAD mummy!)

As I'm poor <did I hear the violins? > I bought Tesco's 'own brand.

Every Mon eve he complains his belly is 'fat' (he means bloated)........ payed NO attention

Dunno WHAT made me notice today but it CONTAINS GLUTEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT IN HELL?????????

I've become a tad complacent methinks

you ain't no crap Mum, you sill - but how (h)anus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :madface:

The Man Not Taken

I shall be telling this with a cry,

Somewhere nine months hither and hence.

Two men sprawled in bed, and I,

I chose the one who told the vasectomy lie.

I wish I had known the difference!

*snigger*

and Nik said Cod Piece always so phunny

Amanda! I was awoken from a sound sleep this morning at 6:15 to the sound of Allo peeing in the corner of my bedroom all over the carpet. I went to scoop him up and take him to the litter box, but as I got out of bed, I had a sudden charley horse in my calf and stumbled. I think the poor thing is losing it

Oh Allo He sure has had a good, long life with youse, Padt

Our pets are quite lucky, methinks...........

LEESARGH!!!!!!!!!!! None of me mum's cats will eat chunks either

and - Mr. Kit is sooooooooooooooooooo picky - - don't know who in hell he thinks he is, street-cat-turned-posh????????

I love him

And Nik's Lucy cat going demented? I had a Lucy cat also - a calico, isn't that what your mean Lucy is???? and she was TOTALLY demented in the end - - drooled everywhere, all the time, would leave us soaking wet

but the best of all was......when I was little, my mom sometimes road off in the station wagon, with Lucy Baines still atop the car, unbeknownst to me mum

sO MUCH TO COMMENT ON

NO.........DIDN'T SMOKE...WAS COMMENTING ON THE 'SMOKING' ALERT FROM C.COM

BUT.............i'M ON MY 20TH PEPPERMINT ALITOID..........GOD I'M ADDICTED TO EVERYTHING.

I WONDER IF YOU CAN SMOKE OTHER THINGS IN ME GARDEN MAYBE I CAN PLANT SOME 'MARY JANE' FOR THE NEW OWNERS.

THERESA AND JESS....THERE IS A 4 PAGE LIST OF RULES......... CA ISN'T PLANT FRIENDLY FOR ME

CAUSE SOME OF US LIVE IN THE BASEMENT AND NEVER GET OUT

this was a riot...........you'd have the sillies on the computer while TV crew was there

don't beat thy self up me love.............we ain't perfect............almost but not quite

loved todays can't wait for tomorrows.

thanks god

HELL THIS SOUNDS LIKE ME...........ARE YOU CALLING ME DEMENTED?

GOING TO GET OFF BEFORE I BARF UP ALL THE ALTOIDS OR HAVE A LONG WHITE THING........ :

Joodith :lol: yer whole post!!!!!!!!!

did nae know what a LONG WHITE THING was, though, just for a minute *snort*

I is here!!!!!........Where is everbody?????..........I see Judy squiggling!<wavingfrantically>

I've been keeping up at work, but don't log in, so haven't been posting. Y'all remember I was always the one talkin to meself or Soozle late at night?.......HAH!........I was asleep by 8:00 the other night! I think I have a lot of catching up still to do.

LEESARGH!!!!! I was awake.........am so delirious now I hardly know what I"m writing - -

you MUST get your REST, girl!!!!!!!!

D'ya suppose they've hooked up and are wandering around together?

Who does the walking?

good one, Jess

Just remembered.........Janet is getting ready for her big garage sale.........I guess she doesn't do it like I do.........put it off til the last minute, then stay up the night before, frantically organizing and pricing.........

GYAN-NIT!!!.......Don't forget to put up yer signs and get some change for the cash box!!!!!

sounds like we run our sales the same way, Lees *snort*

Hey Leez....so good to see you!!! Bet your Bippy, I think came from Laugh-in. That's where I remember hearing it!!! Rowan and Martin and their cast of crazies. I can't believe we were allowed to watch such a "racy" program "Sock it to me"

(to the tune of I Left My Heart In San Francisco")

I left my booooooobs, in Houston Texas.

And there's a foot back there with them.

Ah! Can't think when I'm feeling pressured....I need to get my butt out the door and go to work.

Hope your all have the psilliest of days...bright and shiny!

racy it WOZ!!!! I watched it every Sunday night, as a wee girl, with my parents

Delirious, sills - - back to bed for a bit

:wackl:

and a good Friday morn to all of youse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**************

look sills, how delirious I am - how I spelled "rode" - - "road" I highlighted it in red and left it :snackl:

[jerseyangel]

and Nik said Cod Piece always so phunny

I know!!!

....and yer mum riding of into the sunset wif Lucy Baines atop the car