The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[elye]

Sooooozle's gonna paint sumphin'!!

The appearance of Sam Hill Manhead is mysterious indeed, and never has so much care been put into selecting an appropriate name Do ya think some woman who didn't appreciate what she had knocked 'im off 'is pedestal??

Crap, don't think we'll ever know for certain from which office in that building he was disposed.. ....... . . ..forget now- - he could be connected to a homosexual dating service, or the Burundian Embassy.....was there another embassy? Couple of dental clinics. . ......law firms. . . . .....

Such a mystery. . . . . . . ........... . . .

Oh man, I can so relate to that one. As a certified arachnophobic, as a teenager I snuck in after curfew to find this humongous spider on the wall above my bed.

Premonition hit and I walked (did NOT run, but uncalmly) into the bedroom and pulled the sweater off inside out and THERE HE WAS. I made sure I despatched him that time.

OMGGGGGGGG. ....... . . . ....that is truly shudder-worthy. . . ...... .

Particularly because I believe that big NZ spiders are, um, like big North American spiders on steroids. Are we talking the size of one's hand, Shroomie?... .Think I've heard this . ...... . . gawd, the size of my hand. . . . . . . .. . .....

Good lord Em, why did ya give 'im away??

Why, indeed.. . . . . ....well, my girlfriend needed some protection, being a new single mother with two young kids, living alone. He has been perfect. She moves him around so that any psychopathic rapist peeking through her draped windows would think he is a real man, holding him quite high so anyone would think he is 6 foot 5.

She brings him upstairs, has him moving through the bedroom......... . . .perches him on the toilet and leans the newspaper in front of him for about an hour - - very convincing.. . . ........

Miss Em does not walk on the keyboard; she lies beside the computer, always likes to be close, but parks right in front of the screen so you can't see a thing (yeah, 15 lbs plus and takes up the whole screen) when she wants something (like dinner ) She's bossy too; herds us around when she thinks it's time for us to go to bed. Yeah, I'm missing her!

Mygawd, Shroomie, thought you was talking about ME! This, in fact, does sound quite like me, lying at the computer, bossy..........

Um, though I am NOT fifteen pounds. . . .....

[nikki-uk]

I do believe you have just discovered why Nickerler is always ironing :lol: Ya gotta iron out the sandpaper!

Psillie Jess!!!...gotta shake it out half way froo the drying on the line

Damn, I had this post all planned out and then Clay insisted he had to use THIS computer for IMPORTANT business (like psillies are unimportant ) and everything has gone out of my pea brain. Oh well, there wasn't a lot in there anyway....

The noive!!!!!!!!!!!

Soozle's painting!!........ askeert

[ranger]

Just got home from one of those fun celiac shopping trips. You know, tapioca flour, rice crackers, BC gluten free choco cake mix , veges. Like everybody buys. And I see Images of SHM! He is even more handsome and elegent in real life. I vow to spend the next 2 weeks trolling through parking garaged looking for my very own SHM. I will not eat, sleep, or drink (well, maybe a lttle) till I find him. I'll keep you posted on my search.

[ranger]

Sooooozle's gonna paint sumphin'!!

Crap, don't think we'll ever know for certain from which office in that building he was disposed.. ....... . . ..forget now- - he could be connected to a homosexual dating service, or the Burundian Embassy.....was there another embassy? Couple of dental clinics. . ......law firms. . . . .....

Such a mystery. . . . . . . ........... . . .

OMGGGGGGGG. ....... . . . ....that is truly shudder-worthy. . . ...... .

Particularly because I believe that big NZ spiders are, um, like big North American spiders on steroids. Are we talking the size of one's hand, Shroomie?... .Think I've heard this . ...... . . gawd, the size of my hand. . . . . . . .. . .....

Why, indeed.. . . . . ....well, my girlfriend needed some protection, being a new single mother with two young kids, living alone. He has been perfect. She moves him around so that any psychopathic rapist peeking through her draped windows would think he is a real man, holding him quite high so anyone would think he is 6 foot 5.

She brings him upstairs, has him moving through the bedroom......... . . .perches him on the toilet and leans the newspaper in front of him for about an hour - - very convincing.. . . ........

Oh my God, how funny. On the toilet with a newspaper! Starting to remind me of the squirrel on u-tube.

Mygawd, Shroomie, thought you was talking about ME! This, in fact, does sound quite like me, lying at the computer, bossy..........

Um, though I am NOT fifteen pounds. . . .....

[flourgirl]

Hey all!!! I'm back. We went to Upstate NY to visit with family. So very nice to see every one, and of course, never enough time. But I'm a real home-body and have come to realize that WV IS home. So glad to be home! Been canning stuff from the garden....and fruit from the Farmers market. The more the better!

As I've been catching up..I see that the tone has gone back to psilly! So nice to see. Is it directly linked to the reapperance of Sam Hill? I got a real kick out of seeing him in the avatars again. I've missed him pseriously....he *is* one of us psillies.

Psuess!! So glad you are pheeling that paint-urge! Is a good sign...yes?

Pad-tay.......wanted to comment on your dream. You are looking for something (shopping), but sounds like you didn't find it. When you want to leave the store, all doors lead to *industry*. Are you feeling a need to find something to do? Some purpose, more than what you already have going on? A need to be busy with something? That's my guess!

Em-n-em....take care of the foot (it WAS you, wasn't it?). Hope you are fairing well, these days. So nice to see Bev-really, too. How are you feeling these days? Did you sell lots of pictures on-line?

Always enjoy seeing Mini-mom and Shroom-vroom! And of course....Pah-tay is like the glue that holds everyone together. (Kinda like my oldest sister holding the fam together....we call her Mother Hen!)

Hello to Ranger Soo-zan! Are you really a Ranger? I, too, love psilly/stupid humor! My first choice in any movie is for that type! This is a great place to be......even if I don't add anything and just "read up", psilly-villy often makes my day.

'Till later......hugs all 'round!

[Darn210]

PADT!!! Sending some 'proper' (English) tea wiv Devil Child to make it (Tel's not pheeling up to the flight, but DC makes a mean cuppa!! )

Patti!!!! Don't fall for it!!!! She's trying to pawn DC off on you!!!!!

On the up side, I figure this whole body exfoliation woulda cost me a fortune at a spa.

Gah! Well, we must recruit Jyaghnutt, the creator of most of these amazing pictoral accounts of Sam's whereabouts. Hopefully she kept copies of the ones she made.....

JAHNUTTTT!

I believe I did . . . did I make one for you Jess?? I can't recall. I shall dig out me own toot sweet!!

And - OMG - _{I am feeling the urge to paint something - - a wee painting, or, use my phab watercoloUr pencils - don't tell anyone!!!!!} It's been AGES!!!

Yeah!! Me too!!! I'm planning on painting Smackl's bedroom.

Retro psilly . . . lots of posting and Sam Hill is back!!

[Darn210]

I believe I did . . . did I make one for you Jess?? I can't recall.

Found it . . . Check yer email, Jess.

[Jestgar]

I forgot how much that guy got around.

[flourgirl]

I want a Sam Hill Avatar, too!!

[elye]

I forgot how much that guy got around.

OMG.....was trying to remember how SHM was posed in Jyess's, avatar......and there he is!

We were just out for dinner with very intellectual, rather new friends.......they came to my dad's memorial, so discussion quickly gravitated that way. I began telling them about the incredible tree gift, and all o' you guys, and sure enough I was eventually speaking about SAM HILL MANHEAD.....The whole hilarious idea, this found effigy of mysterious origins, and how he took us all, and the entire site, as I recall, by storm......

They just stared at me. Politely, but just staring... .. .....

[elye]

I want a Sam Hill Avatar, too!!

Jyagnutt! That's yer cue!

[jerseyangel]

I am feeling the urge to paint something - - a wee painting, or, use my phab watercoloUr pencils - don't tell anyone!!!!! It's been AGES!!!

How exciting, Sooz!

I could nae ask for any assistance, so after searching all the bedclothes I quietly slid the bed out into the middle of the room, lifted all bedclothes clear of the floor, and laid awake in terror all night. Never did see the bugger again.

Oh gawd Shroomie--that's awful!!! You poor fing

She brings him upstairs, has him moving through the bedroom......... . . .perches him on the toilet and leans the newspaper in front of him for about an hour - - very convincing.. . . ........

:lol:

Pad-tay.......wanted to comment on your dream. You are looking for something (shopping), but sounds like you didn't find it. When you want to leave the store, all doors lead to *industry*. Are you feeling a need to find something to do? Some purpose, more than what you already have going on? A need to be busy with something? That's my guess!

You may have sumphin there, T.

I believe I did . . . did I make one for you Jess?? I can't recall.

You made mine, too And yea!! fer old school sillie!

Sills--I had the bestest evening :D We went to see "Julie and Julia", which was really good. There's one small scene where Juila meets in person a woman she has only corresponded with for 8 years and never met before face to face. They are dear friends, though--reminded me of me sillies

Then we took a walk and stopped at Tommy Bahamas for a drink and later to Outback for dinner. Very cosmopolitan for me

[mushroom]

- he could be connected to a homosexual dating service, or the Burundian Embassy....Couple of dental clinics. . ......law firms. . . . .....

If there was a law firm in da building dat would get my vote..Lotta strange peeps in those places, don't recognize treasures when dey find 'em; Burundians on de other hand are pretty straightforward...where is Burundi anyway??

OMGGGGGGGG. ....... . . . ....that is truly shudder-worthy. . . ...... .

Particularly because I believe that big NZ spiders are, um, like big North American spiders on steroids. Are we talking the size of one's hand, Shroomie?... .Think I've heard this . ...... . . gawd, the size of my hand. . . . . . . .. . .....

Nah, the size of New Zealand spiders is mostly mythical. There are some ginormous spiders on the West Coast of South Island, but the Coasters are a tough bunch and they can handle it. I have only seen a couple. But the giant wetas, now them's a different flavour and it ain't chocolate, I tell ya. About 2-1/2 inches long, as big around as my thumb (and I have a BIG one, two of them as a matter of fact) and the ugliest looking critters I have ever seen. And they are protected!! And they fly!!! But only at night And then there's the huhu beetles but you only see them in rotting wood; and the grubs are white and about the size of my index finger, but to the Maori they are a delicacy to be savoured. Every year on the West Coast they have a Wild Foods Festival, where it is possible to sample all these little delicacies prepared in a variety of ways, including bulls balls I do not go!! But New Zealand is a pretty benign place--no snakes (St. Patrick went there first), no poisonous spiders, no grizzly bears, no scorpions. Ya just have to watch out for the peeps :lol:

Why, indeed.. . . . . ....well, my girlfriend needed some protection, being a new single mother with two young kids, living alone. He has been perfect. She moves him around so that any psychopathic rapist peeking through her draped windows would think he is a real man, holding him quite high so anyone would think he is 6 foot 5.

She brings him upstairs, has him moving through the bedroom......... . . .perches him on the toilet and leans the newspaper in front of him for about an hour - - very convincing.. . . ........

Now that's a very satisfactory abode for Sam Hill Manhead; better than a mannikan in the car pool lane (which is not only illegal but you usually get caught at it too!

Mygawd, Shroomie, thought you was talking about ME! This, in fact, does sound quite like me, lying at the computer, bossy..........

Um, though I am NOT fifteen pounds. . . .....

Uhmm, 15 cat pounds equated to how many human pounds?? Ya know, like dog years... Mebbe I shoulda named her Shroomie

Psillie Jess!!!...gotta shake it out half way froo the drying on the line

Methinks the psille is Nickerler; put washing in machine and when done in basket, carry out to clothes line; peg clothes on clothes line; keep a sharp eye out for frequent showers/rain; halfway through drying go out and shake sandpaper out of clothes; check several times to see if they is dry; if lucky, unpeg them and bring them in before it rains; then iron, and iron, and iron... The Brits sure do know how to make work out of washday. Heck, what's wrong with running the washer afore ye go to bed, get up in morning, toss in dryer and then get dressed in said clothes??

...and sure enough I was eventually speaking about SAM HILL MANHEAD.....The whole hilarious idea, this found effigy of mysterious origins, and how he took us all, and the entire site, as I recall, by storm......

They just stared at me. Politely, but just staring... .. .....

Ja, sometimes you just had to have been there; does not translate well

Should nae have talked about my kitteh I need her company

[DingoGirl]

OH

MAH

GAH

Sillies - - this is too long to explain but - - oh dear gawd - - I must write this out - - could well be up all night (despite clonepin)

the cops were here tonight - -

a guy followed me down the street into my driveway......on his bike - young kid, tall and rangy, dark, close-cropped hair, talking on cell phone, ignoring me but....standing right in my driveway.

I went down like this:

I pulled into my gated complex, and saw a kid on a bike, who, I noted, changed his direction and followed me. I parked in my garage, turned around, and he was stopped just off my driveway, talking on cell.

I looked at him, rather fiercely, and said: "do you need something."

he ignored me.

He spoke into the phone: "what the hell do you mean?" or summat like that.

and I said "what the hell do YOU mean?"

he finally made eye contact and said - "I am talking to the phone, not to you."

I closed the automatic garage door, walked into the house, but the door did not shut....rolled back up when it hit the bottom - I heard this from inside the house.

I went back out....checked for things in the way - there was nothing - I knew he was messing with me. I shut it again. Walked in. Went to front door.....and then...

heard what I thought was gunshots (as did the neighbors) on my garage door. Extremely loud, on the metal door.

_{dear gawd.....do you all remember how I've told you about my vigilante streak??????} Well....the puffery of that was fully put into play.

so - after hearing the deafening shots or pounding or whatever........I IMMEDIATELY ran out the front door, screaming profanity at the top of my lungs, hurtling toward him:

"WHAT THE F**K DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING, YOU BASTARD?????"

.....and screamed that phrase over and over, as I chased him, 20 feet behind, as fast as I ever have run in my life, in my bare feet and pajama bottoms (which I"d worn to Gail's), as he struggled to run with his bike and flip-flops. Very fast kid.

So, I chased him all the way to the end of the street......I screamed "CALL 911!!" at the top of my lungs.....seven neighbors called

so - at the gate - - he left his bike, and jumped over, into a cloud of dust (the lights reflected this), both shoes ditched on the street in the complex.

he jumped the gate and, I had his bike - so - I yelled

"I HAVE YOUR BIKE YOU LITTLE BA$TARD!!!!!!!"

part deux coming up - -

must.....settle......down.....

[DingoGirl]

crap.....rather wound up here - -

Okay. So, he left his bike and ran out of the complex.....I am SURE he never expected that an old lady would give him this reaction.

By that time, 20 neighbors were out in the street and cops were on their way.

So, the kid actually ran back toward my house (but outside the complex) and JUMPED THE FENCE about four houses in from the gate......probably wanting his bike back. People were sitting in that back yard! So - - he ran out of their yard and onto the street (my street) toward my house....I screamed at my next-door-neighbor "SCOTT!!!! GET IN YOUR CAR!!!!!!!!!" and, he did, later telling us that he nearly ran over the guy (I was too far down the street to know that the kid had come back into our complex).

So.......all the neighbors had heard the noise, and my cursing/screaming <I am SO embarrassed> and wanted to hear what happened, while we waited for the cops.

The cops thought something major had gone down, since so many peeps called 911

So I explained to my neighbors - mumbling something about a strong genetic vigilante streak and being PISSED when people do something wrong or criminal - - do you think they think I"m bonkers????

cops got there, took my info - I BEGGED them to spend the night Said, I'm never askeert, but now I am! Have to close/lock all doors and windows.......

the finally said....."um, ma'am....not to.....um......minimize this or anything.......but, how would you like us to proceed with your garage door?" (there were surface dents, done by foot and fist pounding, we determined)

:lol:

then I said:

"is it a good bike? can I have it?" :lol: (I don't want it, but they would have given it to me)

So............it's all quiet now...........everyone's in bed......I am wound up........a bit psychotic....wondering if he'll get his posse and try to kill me during the night?????

and one more

dear gawd sills............I don't mind fightin' crime but I'm askeert, too

and

no one's here

lonely and askeert - hold me

'night, sills

oh - Gail says I should leave a note on the door- "the cops have yer bike, here's yer flip flops" and leave some English digestive biscuits for him (hob nobs, I believe?) *snort*

_{askeert now}

will try to sleep.............

[nikki-uk]

SOUZELLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHERE was the IRIQUOIS SKULL CRUSHER when you needed it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_{<I knew I should have warned you DC was coming to stay >}

HOLY SMORES!!!!

You'll get yerself into trouble!!!

...slight snigger....but pseriously- not to minimise what occured 'cos I experienced similar when we was under attack from the ferals (local WILD family)

I too probably didn't help by giving 'em hand gestures and the odd profanity when they broke my hanging baskets -but yer gotta show these buggers you aint AFRAID!!!!!!!!!!!

(I did s**t meself when one evening, I was on my own & they tried to kick me door in )

Can't you at least have 2 cops outside for protection???

It IS unnerving, but I know you won't let him get to you

oh - Gail says I should leave a note on the door- "the cops have yer bike, here's yer flip flops" and leave some English digestive biscuits for him (hob nobs, I believe?) *snort*

_{askeert now}

will try to sleep.............

...although not to scupper Gail's excellent plan but hob nobs are NOT digestives (least not here...hob nobs are nutty)

BUT, no matter, I doubt he's British - maybe he's a COELIAC???? ....being FORCED into miscreancy by the effect of gluten-on-the-brain???

[DingoGirl]

SOUZELLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHERE was the IRIQUOIS SKULL CRUSHER when you needed it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_{<I knew I should have warned you DC was coming to stay >}

HOLY SMORES!!!!

You'll get yerself into trouble!!!

...slight snigger....but pseriously- not to minimise what occured 'cos I experienced similar when we was under attack from the ferals (local WILD family)

I too probably didn't help by giving 'em hand gestures and the odd profanity when they broke my hanging baskets -but yer gotta show these buggers you aint AFRAID!!!!!!!!!!!

(I did s**t meself when one evening, I was on my own & they tried to kick me door in )

Can't you at least have 2 cops outside for protection???

It IS unnerving, but I know you won't let him get to you

...although not to scupper Gail's excellent plan but hob nobs are NOT digestives (least not here...hob nobs are nutty)

BUT, no matter, I doubt he's British - maybe he's a COELIAC???? ....being FORCED into miscreancy by the effect of gluten-the-brain???

NICOLA!!!!!!!!!!! WHOT??? the ferals tried to kick yer door in??? While you woz alone? Yes - you are right - we MUST show them we are NAE afeared....

had a restless night, sills......not much good sleep. Hoping to go back now.....keep thinking all night that.....I have to move because my neighbors think I'm crazy. Only half-kidding here........they DID think it was quite funny but.....all them womenz was askeert and said - "DON"T GET OUT OF YOUR CAR!!! HONK THE HORN!!! CALL 911!!" but, Nik knows - we must face the devil chillens head-on

and - Gail discovered these Hob Nobs (really just an oatmeal cookie) last night at her mum's - couldn't stop eating htem - says they're "digestive" :

Open Original Shared Link

...and yes, that this miscreant SURELY has a gluten-induced rage problem .....

well duh, we knew that.

Back to bed...must head outside first to see if he spray-painted my garage er summat....

_{then my neighbors would be MOST displeased with me}

there's EMMEL! and, SIXTEEN guests?

[elye]

GAWD, SOOOOOZLE! You absolutely need Sam Hill Manhead with you as a decoy in your car, AND perched in various places in yer house..... . . . boy, his large, manly, don't-f**k-with-me silhouette in a window would terrify Li'l Mr. Bike and Flip-flop Kid. Will courier him to Clovis. .. . . . .....

How scary, Soooze. Hope you finally got to sleep. What an asshat! He actually put dents in your garage door?? Musta been on drugs......OR:

- maybe he's a COELIAC???? ....being FORCED into miscreancy by the effect of gluten-the-brain???

Yep......a young celiac brought into temporary insanity from a glutening. . . . ..... ..

[DingoGirl]

Emmel - yes - send Sam Hill down here TOUTE SUITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! will leave him in front window.....different hats and such.....

and you know, I've been thinking about what I could have done differently (would have wrestled him to the ground had i gotten him and then given a stern lecture - put the fear o' the Holy Ghost into 'im, I would ) .....but I really can't control my reactions - just gut instinct all of my life - going after miscreants all by myself. Pisses me off, and they have NO RIGHT to do bad crap.

Once, at around midnight, I was on the phone, years ago and.....someone shone a flashlight into my living room window right on me (was living in a small guest house). I calmly put the phone down - "hold on a minute" - - got my flashlight, and ran outside yelling. Saw someone running off.......my friend on phone told me to call the cops.....so when the cops came, I was outside with flashlight, looking for evidence....

they did seem flummoxed and said, usually when we get a call from a single female about these things, she's not outside looking for the perp

Had a nekkid man flash himself in our kitchen window when I was in about sixth grade - my mom, little bro and I were in there at the time....'twas dark outside....my mom screamed hysterically, called cops......I, of course, ran outside w/ aluminum bat to get him :lol:

have got hundreds of these stories....nearly got meself kilt breaking up a party at 2 am, and NOT in a very good 'hood.....that was one of the other times I felt actual fear.....mexican hispanic women raisin' the hair on the back of me neck as I walked directly into their living room (music was too loud for them to hear me knock - EVERYONE had been calling the cops on their noise - to no avail)

I think I must purchase a small hand gun

very tired - - must try and sleep now.........

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[nikki-uk]

Methinks the psille is Nickerler; put washing in machine and when done in basket, carry out to clothes line; peg clothes on clothes line; keep a sharp eye out for frequent showers/rain; halfway through drying go out and shake sandpaper out of clothes; check several times to see if they is dry; if lucky, unpeg them and bring them in before it rains; then iron, and iron, and iron... The Brits sure do know how to make work out of washday. Heck, what's wrong with running the washer afore ye go to bed, get up in morning, toss in dryer and then get dressed in said clothes??

'Shroomie surely teases me?? .....for I can NEVER give up this eccentric British pastime

Open Original Shared Link

Ah YES!!!..the hob nob (never really a fan...don't buy 'gluten' biscuits anymore)

but the digestive...dear gaaaaawd, could eat a WHOLE pack of the chocolate ones

Open Original Shared Link

....nearly got meself kilt breaking up a party at 2 am, and NOT in a very good 'hood.....

But nae Sporran??

I think I must purchase a small hand gun

Most decidedly ASKEEEEEEEERT at that idea!!!

...scared ...hold me!!!

_{<where's me bullet proof vest???>}

GADS!...i know it's your right (to bare arms) an' all but it maketh me verrrry nervous....guns are just ILLEGAL here and NOT a familiar sight at all

Sam Hill!!...the master of disguise in many hats

Fighting the post double Sven/roast beef crash......... must.not.sleep

[curlyfries]

_{Has Soozle calmed down, yet????}

_{Is it safe to come out?????}

Whew!!!!! Note to self: Never get on Soozie's bad side!

Soozie with a gun is just plain scairy .....Ixnay on the ungay, Suze

Miscreants abound everywhere. Recently, hubby and I were taking a walk around the neighborhood. A couple of the pubescent type were keeping stride with us from across the street and started throwing rocks at Brian. He went after them with, "You want a piece of me?....Come on!!....I'm ready!!!"

They high-tailed it outta there but fast

I was disappointed that I didn't get a chance to shame them and threaten to tell their Mammas that they were harrassing a one-legged guy.

Pretty lame if that's how you get your jollies.

[jerseyangel]

Soozle!!!! !!!! !!!!

What a story to wake up to! The little punk! Bet he's sorry he ever messed with you--but how scary! Did you manage to get any sleep last night?

[jerseyangel]

Pretty lame if that's how you get your jollies.

Really

Would have made me want to go over and smack the daylights out of em. WIH is the matter with people???

[Jestgar]

Aww man...Susie has all the fun

The most exciting thing I did yesterday was buy chicken food

[Darn210]

Wow Suze!!! Hope you don't see the punk again . . . how long until the cops let you have his bike? . . . and kids harassing Brian?? what is with people????

First four days of school are over. It looks like both kids have colds. I think this happened last year, too.

Shopping for chicken food??? . . . sounds like fun to me . . . I'm shopping for paint.