The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[elye]

I got a egg!!!!!

HEY! ...And a splendid-looking one it is, Jyesss!

...Um.... . . from one o' your very own civckebs? No rooster needed, correct? He just comes strutting along after the egg is laid and secretes some spermicidal-type stuff o'ertop of the egg to fertilize it. . ....methinks. Set us all straight on this, Jyess...I'm a poor, unworldly bit of city folk. . ... ....

[jerseyangel]

And, can this really replace caviar? It's a long roe to hoe.

<snort>

I got a egg!!!!!

Very nice!

[ranger]

Hens can lay eggs without the need for a rooster. If you want fertilized eggs, you will need a rooster, but they can get gross. When I had cxyvbirds, I had roosters. They soon went into the cookin pot. They were mean and put blood-streakes into the eggs. Women can lay eggs, also without the need for a mail. But they won't produce offspring. We do need men. I'm going to leave before yer all mad at me!

Inherantly Indigo.

SLA

GHESS- You got chicks? I'm SOOOOOO jeleous.

[elye]

It will be called " Sickles and Cycles". It will be about a Burundian woman who does bycicle races and has her period 24/7. She will have 7 viable eggs and use them all.

Now, Sbogota - - don't give too much away! This would make a great movie. You need to send this in script form to Oprah.

It promises to be better than the new Dan Brown thriller, " How I was a Mason With Only a Pound of Washington Concrete"

Dear gawd.. ... I missed this one, somehow.

I've just finished The Open Kimono by Seymour Hair...............

[elye]

But they won't produce offspring. We do need men.

Yep. To fertilize our eggs, and kill the spider in the bathtub, and clean out the eavestrough... .. .....

[celiac-mommy]

I know I'm not supposed to apoligize on this forum thread, but I am. It's because my heads been in that pot for so long. I took a choc cupcake out of my freezer and am going to EAT IT. Then, I'll be better. Sorry I forgot some of you. It's so confusing forn a pee-brain like me. Tomorrow, I will start wring that book. It will be called " Sickles and Cycles". It will be about a Burundian woman who does bycicle races and has her period 24/7. She will have 7 viable eggs and use them all. It promises to be better than the new Dan Brown thriller, " How I was a Mason With Only a Pound of Washington Concrete"

Till Some Other Day

Sudan Brownass.

GADS, I am trying SOOOOO darned hard to keep up with you, but i thinks i need to take some classes!!!

Today has been interesting to say the least:

Was dreamin of the 1 ripe watermelon in my garden, have been watchin it daily, discovered last night that it was ripe for the pickin, wanted-foolishly-to wait till morning to pik it fresh for work to find that some mofo in the middle of the night STOLE MY MELON!!! It's not like I have melons comin out my arse, cuz that would probably be painful... I only have-had-5, now I'm down to 4 little ones which probly won't ripen. Flash fwd, boys at work, SOMEONE STOLE HER MELONS-LET"S SEE!!!

Ate a pear for breakfast, made a comment about my "bruised pear" boys at work-"THOUGHT SOMEONE STOLE HER MELONS- LET ME SEE THE BRUISED PAIR!!"

Ate a peach for a snack in the afternoon, talked to our equipment rep for a minute before realizing I had peach stuck in my front teeth--that was the last straw-boys at work rolling on floor laughing-"SHE'S GOT PEACH IN HER TEETH" Even I had to laugh at that one!

Dirty dirty boys

Had to stop by Fred Meyer to have them remove one of those plastic clothing no stealy thingys that they forgot to remove from a pair of pj's. They wouldn't remove it because I didn't have the receipt, yet they let me walk out of the store with said pj's and didn't arrest me for shoplifting So I get home and try to pry the thing off with a flathead screwdriver. Now I am missing 1/2 my thumb tip and now my thumb looks menstrual, there is blood EVERYWHERE. You think I can sue Fred Meyer

Maybe I should go to bed before I end up in the hospital...!!!

[Judyin Philly]

Juday, Juday, Juday, you've got to sell that house before you go stark-raving mad, if you haven't already.

Got nuttin. Just starin at the walls.

ex-rangerette

I have gone round the bend .........just haven't had one second to get on and read.

pathitic i know

wanted to fill you all in but it's 12:40.......movers to give estimate tomorrow at 9:30 and here i am

took me 40 min to get signed in again.

hell worse than getting through airport security i tell ya.

what's with the 'ex-rangerette.........what did i miss?

Still here . . . just no psillie . . . only boring, depressing things happening in my life right now, it will turn around soon. I was gone over Labor Day . . . back to Dad's to work on clearing stuff out of the house. I thought I would be able to get on the computer a couple of times and keep up but he worked us like dogs. Even hubby . . . God Bless Him, he took it well.

I haven't read everything and I just don't have time too, but I did read that Jess lost her kitteh . . . so sorry, Jess. You gave him such a good home. Who wouldn't want to be one of Jess' kittehs?? Did somebody else lose a kitteh? I read that but couldn't figure out who . . .and I, the archive queen, am not going back to find it.

Ah Janet sorry your having a rough time.

hugs for ya

I thought Jess and Laura lost Kitties or am I also losing my memory as well as my mind

will try to catch up tomorrow now that i think i can get back on

it's been that way for awhile

guess i don't post enough.

God i have so many pages to catch up on.........and

WHAT THE HELL IS WITH THE FEET AND EGGS?

ONLY ON THE SILLY THREAD.

LOVE YOU GUYS

JUDY

[celiac-mommy]

One more thang. If I hear that "bum bum bumblebee, bumblebee tuna" song one more time I'm going to either use the aforementioned screwdriver to dismantle the stereo or my eardrums....

[elye]

Good Morning, Psillies!

Rah-shell had her melon stolen!

Do not know this Bumblebee Tuna song . ... ... ...odd connection, there. Bees and tuna.... .....an overplayed American commercial, methinks? Could it be a new sandwich spread, poised to take the packaged food industry and global economy by storm -- tuna with honey? GAH.

Those big, plastic no-stealy thingies that are ratcheted onto clothing are a son-of-a-b*tch, I tell you. It has happened to me three times in the last couple of years - -three different stores have left these things on clothing i have purchased and taken home.

The first time I tried to get it off with a screwdriver, ended up ripping the fabric, and furiously took it back. The second and third times I hesitated to try anything, and because the items were from a store in Gatineau (quite a distance across the river) I just couldn't be bothered to take them all the way back.

SOoOOoO, I left them on. One is on a pair of jeans, affixed to the waistband, and actually looks quite cool, like a new thing teens are sporting. The other is on the wristband of a fleece sweatshirt - - also quite cutting-edge fashion-wise.

I simply say nothing.....one must act completely as though this has been done with strong intent in mind. Must behave as though I have left these ridiculous things on because I like their look. They are a nice camel-hair colour, and a lovely, thin rectangular shape for fall and winter.

I certainly hear them in the dryer.

I'm gonna start a trend, you just wait. Look carefully at the Paris runways in the next couple of years - -some small, intriguing accesories will be hanging from those brocaded sleeves, from those high waistbands - - and you will suddenly remember this post.

Joooodie, great to read you!

[Darn210]

It's Christmas!!!! **giggle** My trees are here!!!! . . . 3 Spruces, a Dogwood and a paperbark maple . . . **giggle** . . . They're digging big holes as we speak!!!

[jerseyangel]

Great news about yer new trees, Jan-it!!!

I once had to bring a top back to have the plastic thingy removed--they did so wifout incident.

What was worse was the time they left a silver patch-like thing in the back pocket of a pair of jeans I bought at Kohl's. I didn't even realize it was there--and I wash everything new before I wear it.

I began to notice that I frequently would set off the alarm at the entrance to stores--first I figured it was a mistake but after a while it was obvious it was me. Still took a while to discover the thing--weird!

It had to be it because after I found and got rid of it, no more alarms

[psawyer]

A very Happy Birthday to Theresa!

Morning, all.

[jerseyangel]

HAPPY HAPPY BIRFDAY, TEE-REEE-SAGH!!!!!!!!!!!

[elye]

********HAPPY, HAPPY BOIFDAY, TAREEESUH!!***********

If you get any gift cards from clothing stores, please ask when you are purchasing new jeans, tops, etc., if they would please leave the plastic anti-stealy thing on the item. I am trying to start a movement, here, and I need a point man in the States.... ....

[Mtndog]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TEERESA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

may the chicveb of good fortune lay an egg on your head!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nice eggs Geoss- cannot believe someone's melons were stolen

[jerseyangel]

Melon stealers....the lowest of the low

[celiac-mommy]

Happy Birfday TeereesaH!!

Had to buy me a melon at the store this mornin, $2.99 instead of free. Someone owes me $2.99!!

I tink the plastic no stealy thingy movement si sure to catch on, I'm sure we can all take part in that!! Maybe if my used-to-be-chubby-but-now-slimmer-hubby gets this new job he's applying fir, I'll spread the movement thru Seattle

I've got me sum eggs now, but hubby wunts to take 'em away. No more beebee's fir meemee

[curlyfries]

Happy Birthday, T!

☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼

Those no-stealy-plastic-thingys have a metal piece that goes thru the fabric. I cut it with a wire cutter. But you have to be careful, because sometimes there's ink in the plastic part that will stain the clothes if you're not careful....or be ready to rinse immediately.

I couldn't leave it on, cuz it clashed with the beaded dress it was attached to. ......and no, I didn't steal it

[jerseyangel]

I phorgot about the ink--nasty

Leighsua--you and Brian look so cute in your av, I keep meaning to tell you

[elye]

I couldn't leave it on, cuz it clashed with the beaded dress it was attached to. ......and no, I didn't steal it

Psilly! You needed to glue complimenting and/or matching beads to it, making it officially an accessory to your outfit -- like matching earrings, bracelets, etc. Along with yer ears, you've got pierced clothing!

[ranger]

Happy B-day mother tresa. It's a BIG one. A LONG time getting to. So, now you can say, you've had a BIG, LONG one.

Speaking of fashion, some would say that I am a fashion maven. I like the idea of wearing the shoplifters device, as silver is a statement. The ink, not so much. I don't as a rule steal clothing, but like the fact that so many of my comrades do it. I do buy only "vintage" clothing. Which translates to Goodwill.

How dare they steel yer melons! If they only could appreciate the cost of plastic sturjury. I could only afford one melon at a time, so for awhile I would have to wear a bra sized 36- AAA- F.........

Which, actually, I say a lot. Specially when John comes towards me. AAA-F.......It's a married for too long thing. There are other letters in between.

Worked in my garden today. Looked up at this huge black walnut tree that has a really angry spider web in it, and realized that: I have to rite another book! "The Stickey Willy Story". Subtitle "The Avenge of Robert Oppenheimer".

As a fahsion maven, I think spider webs would be a b%$@#in look.

I want cyvkebs!

Yours Turdly,

Slouxzen Dylan Thomas,De Turd

[elye]

GOooOoOoOod Morning, Psills!

There's a lovely picture on the front page of our newspaper showing our Prime Minister sitting with President Obama, chatting casually yesterday during their meeting in Washington. When fielding questions afterwards from reporters, Obama said, "It is wonderful to be getting caught up with Mr. Harper on all the big issues"... . ....

Then there is a clip of Stephen Harper saying, "I think Barack and I feel the same way about many things". . ....

This made quite stirring news here. Our prime minister called President Obama "Barack"? Like they are college buddies sittin' over a beer?

All the problems that are plaguing us right now, economically, socially, spiritually, and this is what our pundits obsess over?

[flourgirl]

Thanks everybody for the B'day wishes! Long day yesterday. Worked (pretty good day, though), had to do grocery shopping because I hate to spend days off doing that! Got home late....made pizza for our supper, more phone calls recieved than I get in months at a time.....did some cleaning.....overall a good day. I only pheel one day older than yesterday.....but was pheelin' pretty old yesterday anyway (heh heh).

I hates melon-steelers! Ought to be hung wif a very prickly melon-vine! Maybe you oughta place little plastic anti-steely devices to your melons.....call it nibble-piercing

Civkeb Eggs!!!! How exciting! You cause me to continue to mull over the thought of having Civkebs here. I work with a fellow who raises Civkebs and who sells his eggs to co-workers. Of course...availability supply doesn't always cluck with desire demand.

Thought about snapping a shot of my pheet to post.....but think I waited too long. Must think of summat else to put in Av.

There have been Bear sightings in the Park lately. I wouldn't mind seeing them....but I think they are just passing through. I think they have discovered the campground that is nearby....lots of yummies there!

Guess I'll go wander over to The Book! I don't get over there very often...or for very long. Just not enough time in a day...I tell ya!

Hope yer all foine and dandy!

[nikki-uk]

Guys ....so behind but...

Dirty rotten MELON STEALERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! .....Hope they choke on the pips!!!

T's birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!....did send you summat on FB

Jess has got EGGS!!!!!!!!!! WOO-HOO!!!!!!!!!!!

...and POeter has a mOustache but hairless legs

...back later...meeting Sven...

[elye]

...back later...meeting Sven...

Hey, Nik! I fraternized with Sven early this morning - - I am now seeing him all the time again (thank GAWD........how I missed him), but he still makes my foot ache, slightly, after a while.

He's quite a guy -- he injured me badly, and I keep going back to him..... . ....think i need an intervention. . .....