The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[Jestgar]

I sent Mark up to the the Winn Dixie and at first they wouldn't rent it to him since the policy was not after 11PM er sumphin. Anywho, Mark spoke with the night manager and explained the circumstances and they let him rent one.

:lol:

".....so.......we have this white carpet......"

[elye]

For certain they will be going all CSI when you bring the shampooer back, they're all just waitin fir ya with them thar black lights thinkin they'll solve themselves a crime lookin for blood in your shampooer

OMG.. . . . . Sooozle picking up said shampooer in such a state.... . .....um, that's right, America's Most Wanted is on tonight - - might be tuning in. We could just see a brief APB on ya, Sooooze!

Patteigh, yer story about kiddie barf down the side o' the bed reminds me of when The Ripper was very small (3, maybe) and he came into our room in the middle of the night, crying that he had thrown up. I went to check his room, and saw no barf on his bed nor on the carpet. He followed me in.... . ....."I didn't wanna get it all over my bed, or leave a big stain on the rug, so I did THIS"........ . .and he proceeded to open his bedside table drawer, which was about half-full of vomit.

Good, quick, thinkin'... . . . .........I think. . . . ......

[elye]

Heading out to see "The Men Who Stare at Goats"... .. .....looks phab .. .....

[jerseyangel]

and he proceeded to open his bedside table drawer, which was about half-full of vomit.

Good, quick, thinkin'... . . . .........I think. . . . ......

Quick thinkin' and amazing control!

My younger son would always make it to the bathroom. The oldest would just let 'er rip where ever he happened to be. There was another time where he threw up in his bed, so we put him in the guest room bed while I cleaned up his-- and he puked there too. Yes, I gave him a plastic wastebasket......

Another long night

Barph stories

[celiac-mommy]

About a year ago my ds hadn't been feeling well, he hadn't vomitted at this point. I put him to bed and about 3 hours later I heard a moment of commotion on the baby monitor, a burp, a quick little cry, then nothing but the sound of his breathing. My gut told me to go check on him, but my head told me not to wake him up. In the morning, I walked past his bedroom door and smelled the most god-aweful smell, opened the door and found my baby COVERED in dried, crusty vomit from head to toe and from the head to the foot of his bed. He woke up then, realized what happened and was totally hysterical only because it got in his hair

Think I got the mom-o-the-year award on that one too.

It's like when they ALWAYS wake up at 630am and one morning it's getting to be 8am and they're still not up and you think-I'm not going in because

1) they're still sleeping and you'll wake them and pay for it the rest of the day or

2) they're dead, there's nothing you can do about it and you don't want to face it

That's so morbid, I know!!

My dd just tends to freak out, bury her head in my chest and proceed to vomit all over me-WTF??

[Jestgar]

gads. mom puke stories. Sounds like fun ladies. Gee..... I'm sorry I missed all that.....

[celiac-mommy]

So I just got off the phone the FH (used to be DH...) and he tells me that FYI: he's wearing his jeans and a nice shirt tonight and what do I think about that? I think I'm having heart palpitations right now and it's a good thing he's not standing in front of me right now! When I am wearing 3 1/2 inch heels and have spent this much time getting ready, he is NOOOOOTTTTTT allowed to wear jeans!!!

[Lisa]

gads. mom puke stories. Sounds like fun ladies. Gee..... I'm sorry I missed all that.....

Mine had projectile vomit....it hit the wall and slowly slid down.

[Jestgar]

Mine had projectile vomit....it hit the wall and slowly slid down.

<snort>

I, myself, have never been a puker. Maybe 15 times in my whole life, one of those from gluten, several from alcohol, and the rest from stomach viruses. None of my mom's baby stories include me puking.

[psawyer]

When I was eating gluten, I had nausea and vomiting. TMI warning: skip the rest if you are squeamish.

During the final years of my descent into celiac hell, vomiting was a common occurrence. You have not truly walked in my shoes until you have sat on the toilet with explosive diarrhea while simultaneously vomiting into a bucket.

I have been gluten-free for many years now, and the last time I vomited was in October of 2000, about three months after starting the diet, and while still making mistakes from time to time.

Suzie, I am not ignoring your request, but I am still looking into the answer.

[jerseyangel]

When I was eating gluten, I had nausea and vomiting.

That sounds awful

For years, nausea was my main symptom. It would get so bad that I wished I could throw up, but I never did. I'm convinced that it was the fear of vomiting in public that triggered my panic attacks. <shudder>

I almost never vomit--save for a few "stomach flu's" during childhood and when pregnant the second time.

[Jestgar]

You have not truly walked in my shoes until you have sat on the toilet with explosive diarrhea while simultaneously vomiting into a bucket.

:lol:

I have been there (not from gluten). I just remember thinking something along the lines of "this is just so unreasonable....".

[Darn210]

Puking story . . .

Twas Thanksgiving of 2002. We drove to Florida to spend it with my MIL. We brought a Norwalk virus with us. At one point, I was trying to catch my son's (age 3) vomit in my hands/arms to keep him from ruining my MIL's sofa (ummmm . . . I succeded). He was miserable and slept with me. Everyone staying in the house caught it along with several visitors. Despite my "extreme" exposure, I never caught it. Not sure why . . . but it meant I was taking care of my 3 year old, my 1 1/2 year old, cleaning toilets, and doing a lot of laundry for the whole house. At one point, my BIL had to go throw up outside because both bathrooms were simultaneously in use for the same function. Good Times. That was the year they were reporting cruise ships turning back to port because everyone on board was sick.

Snack anyone?

[Jestgar]

Seriously jealous of all you moms and the fun you have with your kids....

[Darn210]

Did I ever tell you guys that in my "letter of application" (I use that term loosely) for my preschool position, I informed the director that I don't gag at the smell (or sound)of vomit? I'm pretty sure that's why I got the job.

[celiac-mommy]

WIH? I just saw this on TV, had to share, still gagging. Especially notable is the "chocolate poo sundae"

Silver lining on an otherwise crappy evening,

I bid on and won a romantic trip for 2 to Victoria BC to stay at the Fairmont Empress!! Think I should take the hubby or find someone worthy of a romantic weekend??

[nikki-uk]

Silver lining on an otherwise crappy evening,

I bid on and won a romantic trip for 2 to Victoria BC to stay at the Fairmont Empress!! Think I should take the hubby or find someone worthy of a romantic weekend??

Well done YOU!!!

Take this

Open Original Shared Link

*giggle*

Loving the puke tales!! ...... had more than me phayre share......... but of course the WORST events were from other end in coeliac son.

Who knew a single fart in a nappy could result in poop up to his shoulders??? ..... always after weetabix....funny that

But seriously, those events would have turned the HARDEST of stomachs

...and the other 2 had reflux...so we are talking exorcist/projectile vomiting.....happy days!!!!!!!!!!!

Operation 'school reunion in grotty pub must-look-fab-it's-so-stressful' this afternoon,

Hold me .........skird!

[Darn210]

Morning Psillies. Cinnamon rolls are rising. They shall be ready in about 1 1/2 hours. That should be plenty of time for you all to get here. I shall expect you shortly.

It's an un-landscaping day today. I trimmed back bushes yesterday and started pulling out three burning bushes . . . gah!!!!! . . . they are in a spot MUCH too small for them (like just about everything else in this yard). I might have to actually pay someone to dig these out, the roots are so intertwined and there is no manuevering room to get leverage on these puppies. I took out a 12 foot tree (including the root ball) by myself that was much easier than one of these bushes!!! Suze, when you come for your cinnamon rolls, bring me some of yer muskle relaxers!

[Darn210]

Operation 'school reunion in grotty pub must-look-fab-it's-so-stressful' this afternoon,

Hold me .........skird!

Are you following the Ruhshell Prep Plan??? . . . add one more step . . . "start drinkin' alkeyhol during the prep process" and you won't be so skeerd.

Have a good time Nik.

[flourgirl]

When I was eating gluten, I had nausea and vomiting. TMI warning: skip the rest if you are squeamish.

During the final years of my descent into celiac hell, vomiting was a common occurrence. You have not truly walked in my shoes until you have sat on the toilet with explosive diarrhea while simultaneously vomiting into a bucket.

I have been gluten-free for many years now, and the last time I vomited was in October of 2000, about three months after starting the diet, and while still making mistakes from time to time.

Suzie, I am not ignoring your request, but I am still looking into the answer.

That sounds awful

For years, nausea was my main symptom. It would get so bad that I wished I could throw up, but I never did. I'm convinced that it was the fear of vomiting in public that triggered my panic attacks. <shudder>

:lol:

I have been there (not from gluten). I just remember thinking something along the lines of "this is just so unreasonable....".

Been there, done that .... Waaaaaayyy too many times!!

WIH? I just saw this on TV, had to share, still gagging. Especially notable is the "chocolate poo sundae"

Silver lining on an otherwise crappy evening,

I bid on and won a romantic trip for 2 to Victoria BC to stay at the Fairmont Empress!! Think I should take the hubby or find someone worthy of a romantic weekend??

In light of how you've been thinking of hubby of late....I think you need to take some psillies with you instead!!! May not be so romantic...but would be one hail of a great time!!!

[Jestgar]

Silver lining on an otherwise crappy evening,

I bid on and won a romantic trip for 2 to Victoria BC to stay at the Fairmont Empress!! Think I should take the hubby or find someone worthy of a romantic weekend??

I'll go! You can pick me up on your way to the boat. I'm not terribly romantic tho'. Too practical for that foolishness.

[nikki-uk]

Are you following the Ruhshell Prep Plan??? . . . add one more step . . . "start drinkin' alkeyhol during the prep process" and you won't be so skeerd.

Have a good time Nik.

Gian-kneet!!!... you know it has to be done!!!

....1.30pm on a Sun afternoon and I've got a vodka & coke in me hand

[Darn210]

Gian-kneet!!!... you know it has to be done!!!

....1.30pm on a Sun afternoon and I've got a vodka & coke in me hand

Good Goil!!!! . . . and your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to come back from your party with a really good puke story!!

[elye]

Nik's got her ree-oonyun tonight! Excellent.... . . .rum and coke - -very good.

It's like when they ALWAYS wake up at 630am and one morning it's getting to be 8am and they're still not up and you think-I'm not going in because

2) they're dead, there's nothing you can do about it and you don't want to face it

This is SO true....I used to leave 'em in there for that very reason - -"Shiyte, he could be dead... .. . ..what can I do about it now? Just don't wanna see this.. . ..."..

SO much poop and puke talk! And, um, eating meals out of li'l toilets.. . .... ..

Did I ever tell you guys that in my "letter of application" (I use that term loosely) for my preschool position, I informed the director that I don't gag at the smell (or sound)of vomit? I'm pretty sure that's why I got the job.

This should be a standard question on the official application form, methinks.

I bid on and won a romantic trip for 2 to Victoria BC to stay at the Fairmont Empress!! Think I should take the hubby or find someone worthy of a romantic weekend??

Ra-shellle! You will LOVE it there - - Verrrrrry posh and old-style elegant - -while I was out there last month, my mom, sis and I wandered in and had "high tea" there in one of the incredible restaurants on the first floor. Mountains right in front of you, a quiet piano playing in the marble foyer.. . .. ...And Vicoria is one of the loveliest cities I've been in, methinks. Take heed - - lots of seniors. Ya cannot be in a huge hurry to get anywhere - -cavalcades of walkers, canes and big station wagons cruising at 20 mph...........

Morning Psillies. Cinnamon rolls are rising. They shall be ready in about 1 1/2 hours. That should be plenty of time for you all to get here. I shall expect you shortly.

YAY! They sugar-free, too, Jyaghnutt?

Good work in yer yard! Lord, I detest battling with big, weedy trees... ...like fighting with me kids er sumfin'. . .. . .. . ....

[Jestgar]

I gotta finish insulating the kitchen today, having committed to the dry wall guy coming next week. I'm just not a fan of anything involving actual labor. Would much rather supervise.....by phone.......from a distant, more pleasant place......with a drink in my hand.....