The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[jerseyangel]

what I want to know is: why isn't broccoli on these lists?? Or brussel sprouts? Why am I chucking out all the fun stuff to eat? This is like some diabolical plan to make everyone so irritated with eating that we all snap and go postal (pastal?) I'd be a whole lot grouchier if I wasn't so thrilled about feeling good.

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!!!

Dang irritating....

[celiac-mommy]

I just dumped an entire box of my favorite cereal in the garbage because I realized it was that, making my stomach hurt so bad. I'm still in mourning

I gave up dairy in August. I haven't missed it much at all. Now, if you were to take away m chocolate, well, I don't think I could survive--wait, is there actually chocolate in chocolate vodka?? Yes, I would definitely have a problem!!

[jerseyangel]

Ok gang....I have a 3 pound bag of golden flax seeds and a new little Krups coffee bean grinder in front of me and I'm pondering how to proceed. I'm trying to come up wif a good recipe for flax muffins--like the old Quaker oat bran recipe that soaked up the cholesterol. Back in the day, I ate two of those every morning and my number went from 288 to 198 in 6 months. It's up again and I would like to avoid meds at all costs.....

Ya'll think I could just sub the ground flax fer the oat bran?

[celiac-mommy]

Ya'll think I could just sub the ground flax fer the oat bran?

Not sure that would taste good.... I just saw gluten-free oat bran at Whole Foods. I want to say it was Bob's Redmill... I'll see what I can't find out!

https://www.celiac.com/catalog/product_info.php?products_id=1633

Or what about grindin yer oats up into flour? Does that do the same thing, or does the oat bran do sumphin different?

[jerseyangel]

Not sure that would taste good.... I just saw gluten-free oat bran at Whole Foods. I want to say it was Bob's Redmill... I'll see what I can't find out!

Can't do oats, Ra-shell. But thanks I think I'm gonna grind up enough for one batch and go fer it.

.....as soon as I get the hang of this grinder......

[celiac-mommy]

Can't do oats, Ra-shell. But thanks I think I'm gonna grind up enough for one batch and go fer it.

.....as soon as I get the hang of this grinder......

Oops! What about rice bran? I do know BRM makes a gluten-free rice bran. I wonder how their "mighty tasty gluten-free hot cereal" would bake up? That's good shtuff, and lots of fiber!

[elye]

Wow! Lotsa crappy stuff goin' on. . . . ......! :( :angry:

Gnick! Your poor mum! I believe that this is a common approach of our elderly parents, worldwide -- they keep any sudden medical news from us as they do NOT want to worry us nor disrupt our day. Infuriating, and I am certain that I will do the same as a ninety year-old when I fall off my back condo steps in Maui and require a whisking off to the doc's... . .... .. . ..

Jyessss! No dairy... ... ...yes, this would be a bad blow for me. But SOoOOo many people have trouble with it.

Really, does it make any sense for we adult mammals to be consuming another mammal's breast milk? Really?? But I know, I know.. ...it tastes SO good... . ....

All right, some excellent news - -still no psnaough here. Sun and just below zero. Quite beeeoootiful. Gads, Washington and Philly are having OUR winter!!

Ya'll think I could just sub the ground flax fer the oat bran?

Yes, I would try that! I'll bet it turns out wonderfully!

[kareng]

Oops! What about rice bran? I do know BRM makes a gluten-free rice bran. I wonder how their "mighty tasty gluten-free hot cereal" would bake up? That's good shtuff, and lots of fiber!

Whats BRM stand for? I'm new to this & would like to find a tasty & healthy hot cereal.

[Darn210]

Ya'll think I could just sub the ground flax fer the oat bran?

Well, it's got to work better than the broccoli and brussel sprouts in muffins!!!

After trying the flax, I like Ruhschelles idea of the mighty tasty hot cereal muffins.

Nick, so sorry about yer mum!!! . . . and I hear ya on the 'rents. About 10 years ago, my Dad had a heart attack. I found out the next day in a mass distribution email from my uncle giving an update on him to my mom's whole extended side of the family. I will say that was the last time she held back information. She was pretty embarrassed that I found out that way. She said she was waiting to get some real news before she called . . . she didn't want me to sit and worry, waiting to hear an update . . . and I told her how it was so much better to get the news in an email the day after it happened from an uncle.

Now . . . what do we do about DC??? Have you tried Susie's Iroquois Skull Crusher??

. . . and tell your landlord you are going to have to start burning the wood trim/doors to keep your house heated if he doesn't get the #@*&#$^ boiler fixed!!!

[Darn210]

Whats BRM stand for? I'm new to this & would like to find a tasty & healthy hot cereal.

It's one of these . . . can you guess?

Big Radiant Mailbox

Borrowed Ringtailed Malamute

Burly Robed Messenger

Bob's Red Mill

[kareng]

It's one of these . . . can you guess?

Big Radiant Mailbox

Borrowed Ringtailed Malamute

Burly Robed Messenger

Bob's Red Mill

A Burly Robed Messanger sounds nice. I really am new to this - should know its Roberts Scarlet Grinder.

[Jestgar]

Now . . . what do we do about DC??? Have you tried Susie's Iroquois Skull Crusher??

Y'all could try the "village" approach to raising children. Everyone send their kids to, say, Emily's house for a month, then the next month their at Janet's and so on. May not improve any of them, but if you get enough people parents involved you'll only have to participate in actual child-rearing once a year or so.

[Darn210]

. . . should know its Roberts Scarlet Grinder.

Took me a second to get that . . .

. . . and naaaaaaahhh . . . Acronyms can always be confusing . . . plus, on this thread, you never know when we might make sh!t up just to confuse people for the fun of it.

[Darn210]

May not improve any of them, but if you get enough people parents involved you'll only have to participate in actual child-rearing once a year or so.

I think you had it right the first time Jess . . . and seeing how you now have extra room in your house, we'll all be shipping our chidlins to you!!! . . . be very very afraid!

[jerseyangel]

A Burly Robed Messanger sounds nice. I really am new to this - should know its Roberts Scarlet Grinder.

<snort>

I decided to give the flax a whirl--literally (in the coffee grinder--get it?? ) Anywho, I doctored up the basic, formerly oat bran, recipe wif cinnamon, nutmeg, and vanilla. Cut the brown sugar in half. They look and smell really good. Keep yer phingers crossed

I would like this to work since 1) I bought all these (expensive/totally gluten-free) seeds....and 2) I understand flax is pretty much as effective as oat bran for this.

[jerseyangel]

. . . and naaaaaaahhh . . . Acronyms can always be confusing . . . plus, on this thread, you never know when we might make sh!t up just to confuse people for the fun of it.

:lol: What...us??

[elye]

. . . and tell your landlord you are going to have to start burning the wood trim/doors to keep your house heated if he doesn't get the #@*&#$^ boiler fixed!!!

Forget the wood-burning.. . . .you tell that landlord you're starting to burn the family's dung to generate heat, and due to the heinously frigid winter you Brits are having, you're forever in need of fresh raw material. He's gonna have to start contributing. . . ......

It's one of these . . . can you guess?

Big Radiant Mailbox

Borrowed Ringtailed Malamute

Burly Robed Messenger

Bob's Red Mill

Man, I like the sounds o' that Burly Robed Messenger, as well. Don't have too many of them coming by. . .. ... .. I believe I had one of these turn up in a Tarot reading, and it was a sign of great things to come. . ........."Ahhhhhhh.... .the Burly Robed Messenger. . .......... . . 'tis a great, portentous sign - - disregard the size of his thumbs, and listen to what he has to say.... ... .. ."

Y'all could try the "village" approach to raising children. Everyone send their kids to, say, Emily's house for a month, then the next month their at Janet's and so on. May not improve any of them, but if you get enough people parents involved you'll only have to participate in actual child-rearing once a year or so.

They do say that it takes an entire village. . . .....

[celiac-mommy]

Y'all could try the "village" approach to raising children. Everyone send their kids to, say, Emily's house for a month, then the next month their at Janet's and so on. May not improve any of them, but if you get enough people parents involved you'll only have to participate in actual child-rearing once a year or so.

I'd be glad to take 'im fer a month, apparently I'm MUCH better wif other peep's kidz...

[jerseyangel]

I'd be glad to take 'im fer a month, apparently I'm MUCH better wif other peep's kidz...

After that, send 'em here. I miss having kids at home.

[jerseyangel]

Phlax muffin report!!

These are good. Much better than with oat bran. They're still warm, so the texture is more moist than cake-y, but they are delicious.

I had 2.....hopefully that wasn't too much fiber to begin with

[mushroom]

See everyone ate their rice bran this morning--the pages have been streaming out.

Gads, too soon in the day to be considering ShocktailsChoctails and Happy Shakes. Barely got the sleep out of me eyes.

Knickers, your mumsy is a naughty lady, and your landlord should be shot. After ALL these breakdowns in the dead of winter (Course, it wouldn't do it in summer, though, would it??) I think a NEW boiler is called for toot sweet. And DC should be locked in his room wivout a heater!!! that he might see the error of his ways.

Jyessss, phooey on the milch; after all this time!! We can't all keep losing foods like this. We'll all waste away.... AS IF!!! As for broccoli, only kids are allergic to broccoli, and George Herbert Walker Shrub.

All good Brits know that BRM stands for British Racing Machine--and they are all green, not scarlet, although I have to admit that a Burly Robed Messenger is intriguing...wonder what wonderful news he might bring my way?? A facelift gift certificate? A Boob Reshaping Machine?

Nah, probably a Bedbug-Riddled Mattress

And just to get right up to date, I'm going to have to move from this village if it's going to involve ;renting others brats kids. If I'd have wanted to be a 'rent I would have had me own brats

I'm askeert that my own particular "Miss Daisy" (seems like we all have a Miss Daisy) might be losing some of her marbles, as she is causing much consternation in her little community. I hope I have the stamina for tomorrow's visit....I'm taking reinforcements with me tomorrow, and I might need a post-visit shocktail to get me home over the hill (but not a triple whammy like Mimmsy!). I've already been breathalysed once Need me driver's license for me lifestyle

So good to see a Psoozle poop-in; lovin' that coolin' rain I betcha. Get thee painting, girl!

[celiac-mommy]

Phlax muffin report!!

These are good. Much better than with oat bran. They're still warm, so the texture is more moist than cake-y, but they are delicious.

I had 2.....hopefully that wasn't too much fiber to begin with

Rehsipee pleeze!

[DingoGirl]

So now I have added dairy to my list of should not eat and what I want to know is: why isn't broccoli on these lists?? Or brussel sprouts? Why am I chucking out all the fun stuff to eat? This is like some diabolical plan to make everyone so irritated with eating that we all snap and go postal (pastal?) I'd be a whole lot grouchier if I wasn't so thrilled about feeling good.

Word.

My SIL has some food allergies & claims one of them is broccoli - so there's still hope.

dat is PHUNNY!!

All right, some excellent news - -still no psnaough here. Sun and just below zero. Quite beeeoootiful. Gads, Washington and Philly are having OUR winter!!

but rather unfortunate for the Olympic snaux events, though....

Now . . . what do we do about DC??? Have you tried Susie's Iroquois Skull Crusher??

brilliant! I'll ship it over post-haste. Um, but Gnick, please don't burn it in yer boiler, though.

stupid bloody boiler!!!!!!!

It's one of these . . . can you guess?

Big Radiant Mailbox

Borrowed Ringtailed Malamute

Burly Robed Messenger

Bob's Red Mill

x 25

Phlax muffin report!!

These are good. Much better than with oat bran. They're still warm, so the texture is more moist than cake-y, but they are delicious.

I had 2.....hopefully that wasn't too much fiber to begin with

we WILL need the recipe!!

And just to get right up to date, I'm going to have to move from this village if it's going to involve ;renting others brats kids. If I'd have wanted to be a 'rent I would have had me own brats

I'm wiv you, Shroomie.....don't send them here, either......they'd die of neglect and boredom within two days

[jerseyangel]

Rehsipee pleeze!

I looked at the old oat bran muffin recipe and a couple flax muffin recipes and this is what I came up wif:

Flaxseed Muffins

1 1/2 cups ground flax seed

1/2 cup brown sugar (next time, I'm trying 1/4 cup--these were plenty sweet)

1 tbsp. baking powder

1/2 tsp. nutmeg

1 1/2 tsp. cinnamon

1 cup milk

1 egg

1 tbsp. vanilla

Pre-heat oven to 350. Mix all ingredients until well combined. Grease muffin pan or use paper liners (I used liners). Fill about 2/3 full (I used a 1/4 cup measuring cup to fill). Bake at 350 for 25-30 minutes. Makes 12 muffins.

They would be good with raisins and/or nuts mixed in, too.

[jerseyangel]

Soozle said "word"