The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[Jestgar]

Look on the bright side, this still means that you're about a thousand times smarter than me

<snort>

all the brilliant people hang out on this thread, even those that didn't get caught up in excessive education.

[celiac-mommy]

So, on the radio today, they're giving away Black Eyed Peas tickets, and to get the tickets, you have to call in and tell your story about a time you got a black eye--the best experience gets the tickets. I have no tickets to give away, but thought it would be a phu(ny) way to end the week I shall start:

In high school I worked at this tiny restaurant in my hometown. My boss was a crabby stickler and he came in every night to close the till and make sure we had everything done properly. Well, I had been cleaning the dining room and was going in and out between the kitchen and dining room, so I left the door between them open--we had no customers at the time--anyway, he comes in, yells at me for leaving the door open and proceeds to storm around the kitchen looking for anything else wrong. I went out the door-closed it behind me-to lock the front door. As I was walking back into the kitchen, he was walking past the other side of the door, saw it was opened and SLAMMED the door shut as hard as he could. Welllll, since I was heading thru the door at the time, the door bounced off my nose (lucky for him-not breaking it) and the next day I woke up with 2 black eyes! Needless to say, he was super nice to me for the rest of the time I worked there

[Jestgar]

Open Original Shared Link

[celiac-mommy]

Open Original Shared Link

[jerseyangel]

"well, this way works...." or "if you started this way, then you should do this, but if you started this other way instead then...." Ummm, which way should I have started? "well it depends......"

all the brilliant people hang out on this thread, even those that didn't get caught up in excessive education.

All the kind ones anyway

I shall start:

the door bounced off my nose (lucky for him-not breaking it) and the next day I woke up with 2 black eyes!

Good gawd, Rah-shell!! I've had black eyes twice--one was when I had a bunch of skin tumors removed from my eyelids--the next day I had a couple of shiners! The second was when I closed the car door too soon after putting my son in his car seat (many moons ago)--in another words, stupidity

Open Original Shared Link

I just noticed the aerosol pancake batter at Kroger recently.....

What she said!

[elye]

I don't want assumed answers, I want a solid equation, solid answer.

I want this ALWAYS. In every facet of me life.

Um, except when I am painting. Is this coloUr orange, or yellow? Does this have more blue in it, or red? I have found that these kinds of questions have an answer that depends entirely upon whom you ask. Drives me insane, but it is so very human.. . . . . . .just love it ... ....

[celiac-mommy]

I want this ALWAYS. In every facet of me life.

Um, except when I am painting. Is this coloUr orange, or yellow? Does this have more blue in it, or red? I have found that these kinds of questions have an answer that depends entirely upon whom you ask. Drives me insane, but it is so very human.. . . . . . .just love it ... ....

OMG, this is my life!! Hubby is in outside sales for Sherwin-Williams (paint company) and EVERYTHING I pick out for the house is always wrong because "too much blue in it" or red, or yellow, or please shoot me cuz NO ONE ELSE CAN TELL!!!! I can't even buy throw pillows for the couch without him there to tell me if it's right or not! More than 1 occasion I've snuck into the store and bought paint without him knowing and then just painted a room cuz I didn't want an argument, and I think it's most annoying that he's almost always right, I just hang on to that 1 time I might be right

[jerseyangel]

OMG, this is my life!! Hubby is in outside sales for Sherwin-Williams (paint company) and EVERYTHING I pick out for the house is always wrong because "too much blue in it" or red, or yellow, or please shoot me cuz NO ONE ELSE CAN TELL!!!! I can't even buy throw pillows for the couch without him there to tell me if it's right or not! More than 1 occasion I've snuck into the store and bought paint without him knowing and then just painted a room cuz I didn't want an argument, and I think it's most annoying that he's almost always right, I just hang on to that 1 time I might be right

Cool!! Can I borrow him sometime?

Ya know, fer decorating.....

[Mtndog]

Hello me psillies!

we're movin' to Cincinnati Childrens Hospital . . . s'pose to be famous er real good er sumptin!!! Have got my foot in the door. They won't schedule an appt till they have all medical records, tests, biopsy slides & stuff. Have got stuff headin' their way as we speak.

Good Gianknit- and stop talking to yerself!

Seriously, I am glad to hear this! Is the Skeeter still riding? if you come this way this summer, we can go ALL go trail riding near your friend's house. C'mon- it'll be fun! Oooh. I might get to see Jianknit and meet Geoss this summer- Jess I am 98% sure we are heading your way in August to see friends in Seattle then explore the Olympic Peninsula

So much going on here lately, I'm mentally exhausted and just not spending a lot of time on-line.

Pads- You OK?

"Mom! Mom! it's so easy to find somethin' like this! You just lie down on your back on the floor, then move around, wiggling your whole body slowly all over the place.. . . .and you'll suddenly feel it!"

That Ripper is quite a Jeanius! But if you did this at my house, you would be very, very, very dirty! Actually- maybe I'll teach Kurt this secret and HE can clean our floors....Oh honey!!!!! :lol:

Well I sucked on my final (they stayed up all night grading and the scores are posted).

Whatever. Time for something more fun anyway....like calculus...

Jess- I am sorry. But as Ppatti said- onward and upward with calculus (which took me twice to pass!). Give me multiple regression any day. Loved physics- loved it loved it loved! Don't know why!

I don't want assumed answers, I want a solid equation, solid answer. (I also LURVE stoichiometry, I still use it daily, and sometimes for phun )

Yep. But WTH is stoiciometry? Vodka mixed with geometry?

all the brilliant people hang out on this thread, even those that didn't get caught up in excessive education.

Or did get caught up in it and are not using it :ph34r:I may be editing a 250 page book with 250 footnotes (that I have to verify). But here's the funny part- it's a book about the top party colleges in the US <SNORT> I don't know nuttin bout that

Open Original Shared Link

I can't open it (DSL died- mooching off neighbor) but I love

Rachelle's

and Emily's

I'll add

just fer phun!

[elye]

That Ripper is quite a Jeanius! But if you did this at my house, you would be very, very, very dirty! Actually- maybe I'll teach Kurt this secret and HE can clean our floors....Oh honey!!!!!

Lord, yes.. . . .you should have SEEN the back of my sweater when I got up off the floor.. . . .....

That is the bonus - - you often find many other li'l things besides what you were originally looking for.

Yep. But WTH is stoiciometry? Vodka mixed with geometry?

Wodka/Geometry - - the way I perform geometry. Actually, ALL mathS. As though I am throwing back a shot with every successive equation.. . . . ...

Um, here is a copy of my response to one of the final questions in my grade ten physics mid-term... .. . .....

[celiac-mommy]

Yep. But WTH is stoiciometry? Vodka mixed with geometry?

When you have a number of units that needs to be changed to equal a different unit using equivilants, I learned in chemistry, but use in daily life all the time such as:

Recipe calls for 3.5 tablespoons of flour but my tablespoons are all dirty and all I have in the drawer are 1/2 tsp's, so goes like this:

3.5TBS /3 tsp /2 1/2tsp's= 21 1/2 tsp

---------- /1 TBS /1 tsp

(TBS cross each other out, tsp cross each other out, yer left with 1/2tsp's, so it ends up being (3.5*3*2)/(1*1)

Not sure this actually makes sense to anyone but me...

Um, here is a copy of my response to one of the final questions in my grade ten physics mid-term... .. . .....

[elye]

3.5TBS /3 tsp /2 1/2tsp's= 21 1/2 tsp

---------- /1 TBS /1 tsp

(TBS cross each other out, tsp cross each other out, yer left with 1/2tsp's, so it ends up being (3.5*3*2)/(1*1)

:wacko:

Where are Gnick and Psooozle, my fellow members of The International Mathematically Challenged?? Crap, I remain alone to let loose our primal whimper ..... . . . ..GAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH... ....... . .MY BRAAAAAAIIIIIIINNNN... . . . .........!!!

[Darn210]

I also LURVE stoichiometry, I still use it daily, and sometimes for phun

Don't they have some sort of "stoichiometry sudoku" puzzles in the Nerds Weekly magazine??

[celiac-mommy]

sorry, thought I picked an easy one

[celiac-mommy]

Don't they have some sort of "stoichiometry sudoku" puzzles in the Nerds Weekly magazine??

Is it sad that I just got really excited and started to google that when I realized you were probably making phun of me

[Mtndog]

Oh....I actually like doing that Just dinna know it had a NAME that combined vodka and geometry :lol:

Em- SNORT! I LOVE reading silly student answers- that's why we teach!

[celiac-mommy]

Cool!! Can I borrow him sometime?

Ya know, fer decorating.....

Take 'im. He's remodeling the main floor bath right now and driving me CRAZY!!! And we haven't even got to the color scheme yet...

Oh....I actually like doing that Just dinna know it had a NAME that combined vodka and geometry :lol:

Anything that combines sumphin wif vodka has GOTTA be great!!

[nikki-uk]

:wacko:

Where are Gnick and Psooozle, my fellow members of The International Mathematically Challenged?? Crap, I remain alone to let loose our primal whimper ..... . . . ..GAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH... ....... . .MY BRAAAAAAIIIIIIINNNN... . . . .........!!!

ENOUGH of the mathS!!!!!!!!!!!

Yooz hurting me wee brain you clever clogs!!!!

Guys, again!, I must keep up!!! - but I am reading along!

..I have summat really important to tell yer!!

Flat Stanley has arrived!!!!!!

'Slight re-cap'

Am I to assume you peeps are familiar with the concept of Open Original Shared Link???

T'is Rae-shelle's little girl's school project...I agreed to put him up for a while..

*snort*

I dunno if I can top a pic with Obama....BUT we are gonna have a pretty wild good time.

I have my (slightly mad) friend in on it too - she's taking him to work with her Monday....she works in a court, hoping to get a snap with the judge

We're going sightseeing over the weekend (destination unknown! ), and he's coming to the gym with me Sunday too!!!!!!!

He is 'flat out' <^snigger> with jet lag

I'm thinking I might make an album on FB of the pics that don't make it back home, titled 'Stanley, the cutting room floor'

Hope y'all have a PHabulush weekend!

[jerseyangel]

You have a phab weekend too, Nik--you and phlat Stanley!

Maths

[Darn210]

Nik!!! You take it easy on Stanley, you hear??

I picture Stanley being returned to Ruhshell, crumpled, dirty, a bit torn and smelling of Wodka and Wee.

[elye]

Flat Stanley has arrived!!!!!!

Gnick! You have a tourist in yer midst! Be sure to take him with you on your next outdoor run.. .. . ...perhaps you could tie a string to his toe, give 'er, and he'd become a kite!

I'm thinking I might make an album on FB of the pics that don't make it back home, titled 'Stanley, the cutting room floor'

... . . . ..Hmmm... .... .. .as long as Stanley himself isn't on the cutting room floor.. . . .....

[jerseyangel]

I picture Stanley being returned to Ruhshell, crumpled, dirty, a bit torn and smelling of Wodka and Wee.

"Wodka and wee"

[celiac-mommy]

:..I have summat really important to tell yer!!

Flat Stanley has arrived!!!!!!

I dunno if I can top a pic with Obama....BUT we are gonna have a pretty wild good time.

I have my (slightly mad) friend in on it too - she's taking him to work with her Monday....she works in a court, hoping to get a snap with the judge

We're going sightseeing over the weekend (destination unknown! ), and he's coming to the gym with me Sunday too!!!!!!!

He is 'flat out' <^snigger> with jet lag

I'm thinking I might make an album on FB of the pics that don't make it back home, titled 'Stanley, the cutting room floor'

Sounds like yous gonna have a phabulous time! (Hey Jealousyyyy....)

Nik!!! You take it easy on Stanley, you hear??

I picture Stanley being returned to Ruhshell, crumpled, dirty, a bit torn and smelling of Wodka and Wee.

OMG, just spit my coffee out on my work computer

[Mtndog]

You have a phab weekend too, Nik--you and phlat Stanley!

Have phun don't let him take off yer Knickers!!!!

Nik!!! You take it easy on Stanley, you hear??

I picture Stanley being returned to Ruhshell, crumpled, dirty, a bit torn and smelling of Wodka and Wee.

<SNORT>

OK- I have a confession. I am having a Jess mmoment. My fwiend Hannah came ovah and since I nude I was going ta go back on antibeeotiks next reek I had a phew glasses o' wine (2 to be x=zact but I am a light.......

weight........)

and am feeling quite FRISKY!!!!!!!!!!! Think I shall have anuver glass. Must say thank you French Eric- he brougt me this wine for my birthday 9uhm...2 years ago. But it's stioll really good! It's from his hometwon somewhere in the middle of France- if France had a redneck section I think that;s where he comes from.

Will I regret this post in the mornig? SNORT- don't care!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just rereda it and cracked myself up :lol:

[jerseyangel]

...and since I nude....

.....and am feeling quite FRISKY!!!!!!!!!!!

I think the vino is gettin to Bevvie

Party on!!!!