Jump to content
  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.




  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):



    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):


  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original


TriticusToxicum

Recommended Posts

kareng Grand Master

Apparently from keeping everything all bottled up inside him :P Hee!

Snort! :P


Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



  • Replies 51k
  • Created
  • Last Reply
nikki-uk Enthusiast

PSILLS!! This one's gonna run & run - yooz know that dont yer? :lol:

''See, last night I decided to stick a vinegar bottle into my anus and it sorta got stuck....."

....am I the only one wondering if it contained Barley Malt?? :unsure::blink::lol:

conniebky Collaborator

:huh:

Perhaps he was creating a small home puppet-show, with a fabricated marionette that he could move about...... ..... .

:lol:

OMG! LMAO! what a visual! :D

jerseyangel Proficient

PSILLS!! This one's gonna run & run - yooz know that dont yer? :lol:

....am I the only one wondering if it contained Barley Malt?? :unsure::blink::lol:

Per'aps due to his age he was attempting to pheel phull of piss and vinegar??? B)

kareng Grand Master

PSILLS!! This one's gonna run & run - yooz know that dont yer? :lol:

....am I the only one wondering if it contained Barley Malt?? :unsure::blink::lol:

Probably. That explains it then.

Not sure the excuse for the string guy who forgot the string. Brain fog?

jerseyangel Proficient

In other news....I'm making some hot rice "cereal" wif some leftover rice and yacking on the computer at the same time. A spoonphul of starchy milk just phlipped over in the pan sending it's contents all over the back of the stove.... <_<

kareng Grand Master

In other news....I'm making some hot rice "cereal" wif some leftover rice and yacking on the computer at the same time. A spoonphul of starchy milk just phlipped over in the pan sending it's contents all over the back of the stove.... <_<

At least it didn't get the computer.


Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



jerseyangel Proficient

At least it didn't get the computer.

True dat!

elye Community Regular

Perhaps the String-On-The-Penis Man was employing that old trick of tying string around one's finger to remember something very important, and was using his penis because.. . . .well. . . . ....because. ... ...he would notice it more?.. . ..:unsure:. . . . ... ..:lol:

Very phunny that he forgot he had tied the string there.. .. .. . ...I suppose he should have tied a string around one of his fingers, the good old-fashioned way, to help him remember that he had a string tied to his penis.

See? Women can solve everything. . . . . . ..

:lol:

nikki-uk Enthusiast

Very phunny that he forgot he had tied the string there.. .. .. . ...I suppose he should have tied a string around one of his fingers, the good old-fashioned way, to help him remember that he had a string tied to his penis.

...but what if he phorgot why he had string tied round his finger?? (much less his penis :unsure: )

...Perhaps a placard around his neck? :lol:

kareng Grand Master

...but what if he phorgot why he had string tied round his finger?? (much less his penis :unsure: )

...Perhaps a placard around his neck? :lol:

Even more perplexing...his girl friend forgot about it too. Days later when it was, well I think you can imagine, neither of them remembered. It wasn't obvious any longer because of the....um...infection.

elye Community Regular

Even more perplexing...his girl friend forgot about it too. Days later when it was, well I think you can imagine, neither of them remembered. It wasn't obvious any longer because of the....um...infection.

Holy crap... . .. ....these characters sound like a veritable waste of skin. I'm thinkin' placard, as well.... . . .

:lol:

elye Community Regular

Just had an amusing piece of speculative film going through me head... . ... .imagine if these two individuals were sitting beside one another in the emergency ward?

"Hey. . . ......what you in fer?"

"Hell, I got a bottle o' vinegar stuck up me arse. You?"

"Agh.. . . ..my penis is red, swollen, sore... . ...... .. I vaguely remember tying a string around it -- y'know, just fer fun - - and I think the damned thing's gotten infected!"

:lol:

jerseyangel Proficient

Just had an amusing piece of speculative film going through me head... . ... .imagine if these two individuals were sitting beside one another in the emergency ward?

"Hey. . . ......what you in fer?"

"Hell, I got a bottle o' vinegar stuck up me arse. You?"

"Agh.. . . ..my penis is red, swollen, sore... . ...... .. I vaguely remember tying a string around it -- y'know, just fer fun - - and I think the damned thing's gotten infected!"

:lol:

:lol: :lol: :lol:

JNBunnie1 Community Regular

:lol: :lol: :lol:

You know what freaks me out about this story? Is that the guy was at the doctors office for some OTHER procedure and almost FORGOT to mention the BOTTLE IN HIS ANUS. I'm sorry, but that seems like a higher priority to me than say, an EEG, or getting a mole removed?

Can some one plus me? I feel so unplussed.... :(

jerseyangel Proficient

Can some one plus me? I feel so unplussed.... :(

You got it, Bun :D

And yeah--like the guy laid there through an EKG or a Echo and never thought to say anything? How uncomfortable it must have been to drive/ride to the hospital in the phirst place. So many questions.....

JNBunnie1 Community Regular

You got it, Bun :D

And yeah--like the guy laid there through an EKG or a Echo and never thought to say anything? How uncomfortable it must have been to drive/ride to the hospital in the phirst place. So many questions.....

:wub:

kareng Grand Master

Holy crap... . .. ....these characters sound like a veritable waste of skin. I'm thinkin' placard, as well.... . . .

:lol:

I have always hoped they didn't make any babies. :)

Jestgar Rising Star

I just plussed myself into excellence. :ph34r: :ph34r:

JNBunnie1 Community Regular

I just plussed myself into excellence. :ph34r: :ph34r:

I just plussed the whole page!

elye Community Regular

I just plussed myself into excellence. :ph34r: :ph34r:

In all seriousness, what exactly is the plus button there for? Do we hit it when it is at the bottom of an excellent post? Life-altering, sage advice? Uplifting, poignant musings? Gads, no wonder I've been at zero forever. . . . ..... :rolleyes::lol:

I believe that the PLUS button should automatically activate when the word "penis" is typed.

Watch the scores ratchet up 'round here!!

jerseyangel Proficient

In all seriousness, what exactly is the plus button there for?

Dunno--one of the great mysteries of the board. I would think it's a way of grading posts, so to speak.

I never paid much attention to it until we started talking about it.

celiac-mommy Collaborator

I missed a lot today! I know a guy who's penis was getting really irritated, then swollen, inflammed and extremely painful and they couldn't figure out why. When he finally went to the dr they found a long piece of his wife's hair that had gotten wrapped around the shaft. It was almost impossible to see!!

Dh has a client who almost died last year while having sex. Got a little too rough-one slip and he broke his penis. When this happens, that massively engorged blood vessel pops sending blood flying ALL over the room. Most men don't survive this. Thank god his girlfriend was quick to call 911.....

I knew my bff would have a great story to rival mine since she's an ER charge nurse and sure enough, they had a guy recently with a vibrator stuck up there-TURNED ON! Of course everyone had to come in and listen to his heart, cuz you could hear it with the stethascope! He ended up going to surgery because everytime she thought she had a hold of it, it kept vibrating his way up the chute!

Btw, that vinegar bottle was about 6"!!!

kareng Grand Master

Yum! Glutino lemon wafers! (rapturous sigh).

Back to reality... I have seen some websites where you rate the posts positive or negative. I think this is just one of the features the web designer used on this site to bulk up his bill - along with the status bit. We rarely need to rate anyone negatively on this site. We usually take care of that in it other ways...

jerseyangel Proficient

Yum! Glutino lemon wafers! (rapturous sigh).

I love those--and the chocolate ones too!

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Celiac.com:
    Donate

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):
    Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):





    Celiac.com Sponsors (A17-M):




  • Recent Activity

    1. - trents replied to KathyR37's topic in Coping with Celiac Disease
      3

      New here

    2. - Theresa2407 replied to Theresa2407's topic in Gluten-Free Foods, Products, Shopping & Medications
      2

      Probiotics

    3. - KathyR37 replied to KathyR37's topic in Coping with Celiac Disease
      3

      New here

    4. - Scott Adams replied to KathyR37's topic in Coping with Celiac Disease
      3

      New here

    5. - KathyR37 posted a topic in Coping with Celiac Disease
      3

      New here


  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):



  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      131,812
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748

    Papa Emeritus 79
    Newest Member
    Papa Emeritus 79
    Joined

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):


  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.4k
    • Total Posts
      1m

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):





  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):



  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • trents
      @KathyR37, I would suspect that in addition to gluten intolerance, you have other food intolerances/sensitivities. This is very common in the celiac community. The most common offenders are oats, dairy, soy, corn and eggs with dairy and oats being the big two. Have you considered this? Have you tried keeping a food diary to detect patterns?
    • Theresa2407
      thank you for your advice.   I have always taken them and I use Stonehedge because they are in a glass bottle, but don't have to be refrigerated.  I also like they are 3rd party tested and state gluten free. But you never know if something better has come alone over the years.
    • KathyR37
      Thank you for your response. I have already learned about the info you sent but i appreciate your effort. I am the only one in my family cursed by this disease. I have to cook for them too. I make sure that my utensils are free of gluten and clean after using them for other food. I use non-porous pots and pans and  gloves when cooking for them. One huge problem I have is a gag reflex out of this world and if something doesn't taste good it is not going down. Most commercially made breads and such taste like old cardboard.Pastas are about the same. I did find one flour that I like and use it regularly, but it is so expensive! All gluten free food is way more expensive. I only eat twice a day because I cannot afford to buy all that. We live on a very low income so my food purchases are quite limited.
    • Scott Adams
      What you've described—the severe weight loss, the cycle of medications making things worse, and the profound fear of eating before leaving the house—is a heavy burden to carry for 15 years. It is absolutely not your fault. While everyone's journey with celiac is different, the struggles with the learning curve, social isolation, and dietary grief are feelings many in the community know all too well. Your question about whether you should just eat what you want and manage the symptoms is a heartbreaking one, born from years of frustration. It's crucial to know that the diarrhea is a sign of ongoing damage to your small intestine from gluten, and simply managing the symptom with Imodium doesn't stop that internal harm or the risk of other complications. The fact that you are still getting sick within an hour of eating, even while trying to be gluten-free, is a huge red flag that something isn't right. This could be due to cross-contamination in your kitchen (e.g., using a shared toaster, colander, or condiment jars), hidden gluten in foods, or the possibility of another concurrent condition like refractory celiac disease. Don't give up!  This article has some detailed information on how to be 100% gluten-free, so it may be helpful (be sure to also read the comments section.):    
    • KathyR37
      I am new here but celiac disease is not new to me. I was diagnosed with it at age 60. At the time I weighed a whopping 89 pounds. I was so ignorant to celiac so I buried myself in learning all about it and looking for food I could eat. I lost so much weight and stayed sick all the time. So to combat the sickness I was give all sorts of meds for loose bowels and vomiting. All that just made me sicker. Eventually I chucked it all and went back to eating like I had all my life. Now I am from the south and biscuits and gravy are a big part of our food, as are breaded foods, pasta, and sandwich bread. Through the years I would try to do the gluten free thing again and am doing it now. It has not helped any. Within and hour of eating I have to run to the bathroom. I am now 75 and am wondering if I should just forget it and eat what I like, take Immodium and live the best I can. I cannot eat before going anywhere for fear of embarrassing myself. Family and church dinners are out of the question unless I eat and run straight home. I am so frustrated I just want to sit down and cry or throw something. Does everyone go through all this?
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

NOTICE: This site places This site places cookies on your device (Cookie settings). on your device. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use, and Privacy Policy.