We All Need A Laugh...to Cope

[chgomom]

Dumb things people say to a Celiac:

"This bread is ok for you. It's made with white flour, not wheat

flour."

"It's ok. There's no wheat in it. It comes over noodles."

"It's ok. There's no wheat IN it...just some bread crumbs on the

top."

"It's ok. There's no wheat in the pot roast" (and then it comes

smothered in gravy).

"It's ok. There's maybe only 2 Tablespoons of flour in the sauce."

"It's ok. It's made out of flour."

"It's potato bread."

"Crackers are ok, aren't they?"

"I only gave her graham crackers."

I have a few favorites of my own:

"It's okay. These are fat-free crackers."

"Your kids can't have wheat? Okay, then I'd recommend the kid's

spaghetti plate."

"There is no gluten. We use all natural ingredients."

"You can just scrape off the crust."

[CDFAMILY]

"Don't worry there is no sugar in this product," said by a nurse after mentioning the need for gluten free.

[Guest nini]

Oh this bread is ok, I made it with SPELT

[TriticusToxicum]

Open Original Shared Link

Hilarious except for the gluten-free Kamut part...

[LKelly8]

I've found the best "straight men" in the business are health food store employees and Chinese (w/ english as a second language) waiters.

Health food store: "No, Spelt is good for celiacs! It's organic wheat." Emphasis on "ooorgaaanic". Try saying "poooisooon".

Chinese restaurant: "Flowers? We don't use flowers." (Do you use flour in the sauce. . .?)

[Nooner]

"No gluten? That must be tough, whey is in a lot of things."

~Li

[chgomom]

Kelly!!!

Flowers??? *lol*

That is too flippin' funny@@@

We don't use flowers in the sauce...*lol*

[happygirl]

Them: "I couldn't live without bread. I would die" Me (deadpans): "I will die if I eat bread."

Them: "Oh, go to the natural food store. Organic is good." Me: "Organic wheat is still wheat."

A manager of a restaurant: "Oh, the pizza will be fine. It's the stromboli you can't have because we add wheat germ to it. But the pizza dough is just from flour."

My dietician: "You can't eat certain vegetables like x, y, z." Me: "Um, I know I've only had Celiac for a few weeks, but you are wrong. I think you are talking about Crohn's, not Celiac." Her: "Oh."

My 90 year old Grandma who doesn't understand (and its hysterical!) : "Gluten? Are you allergic to chocolate? I bet you'll outgrown your chocolate allergy. You know, your Aunt was allergic to eggs when she was young. She outgrew it. You'll outgrow yours. Are you allergic to chocolate?" (repeat every time we talk) needless to say, we haven't told her about my other intolerances, haha!

Last night at a restaurant, when I asked them to cook a plain steak, no seasoning, no nothing, on the grill, but to put foil down. "The cook said the foil will melt on the grill. You can't do that." Me: "That's saran wrap he's thinking about. Tell him to put the foil down." Them: "Oh." (had a perfectly good steak cooked on foil, imagine that.)

When talking to an accupuncturist about my continued problems after being on a gluten-free diet for 1.5 years (who said he knew about the gluten free diet): "I bet I know what it was. You had beer at lunch. That can irritate people." Me: "Beer is full of gluten. I don't drink beer." Him: "Oh, really?"

My clueless GI (new, due to move in 2005), in response to my new problems. "We need to make sure you really have Celiac. I'd like you to eat bread so we can re-do the biopsies. You couldn't possibly have two things that cause similar symptoms." (Me, in my head: If you would like me to do that, I will move into your house and use your personal bathroom. You can take care of me and pay my bills since I won't be able to work. I bet after a day you won't question that gluten makes me sick.) Needless to say, I didn't eat gluten.

Co-worker: "Oh, well that's why you are so skinny then." Me (again, in head): "Still haven't figured out why you are stupid enough to comment on my weight."

(I think I need to get some guts and say these things...it would be priceless!)

[chgomom]

Laura....

too funny!

Everyone, now that I have lost weight....like 70 lbs...says ...did you have surgery...or wow....what diet are you on.

I said I have celiac, I can't eat wheat, Rye , etc...thinks like pasta.....sauces....cookies.

2 hrs later....hey....do you want subway....they have white bread.

[jerseyangel]

After explaining my heart out to a restaurant manager (who seemed to be following what I was saying), he looked at me and said "sugar?" Guess he thought I was talking about glucose

To be fair, he must have gotten it the second time, because everything turned out fine

[chgomom]

Ohhhh poor guy...atleast he listened!

Funny none the less....I think its very hard for people to grasp...which is why the stuff thats said is more funny than anything else.

Now the team I work on at work really get it. One of my best friends at work....anytime I go for anything unnatural....even if it is supposed to be gluten free....she looks at me cross eyed...and says...alright...when you're near passing out,,,and running to the bathroom don't cry to me.

Oh....and I was at the hospital.

They were ordering me a meal,,and called down, they said we need a rigidly gluten free meal...what choices are there, and the lady said none. Chicken, broco and a dry fruit cup. So thats what I had. The nurse looked at me, and said really?? I said yep....atleast they know.

[TriticusToxicum]

....from the annoying overweight co-worker

"sometimes I wish I had what you have so I could be skinny like you"

[chgomom]

Richard....

did someone seriously say that to you???????

[CarlaB]

I think the dumbest comment is when people say, "Oh, that's why you're so thin. I wish I had that!" I just say, "No, you really don't," in a very serious tone and they come to their senses. Only one person ever said to me that her neighbor had it and was thin too that there must be something to the gluten-free diet, that maybe everyone should eat that way.

Usually people will think I said "meat" and suggest I get a vegetarian pizza! I guess they're more used to vegetarians than celiacs!

Once I was at a convention and the staff knew about my gluten intolerance. For dessert, I usually got something that looked much like everyone else's. The night we were having dinner (just about 10 of us) with the head of a religious order in this country, they brought me a plate of fruit for dessert while everyone else got a small something or other. The fruit plate was literally large enough for everyone!! Up till then I had been very discreet with him, he gave me a puzzled look about the fruit and I had to tell him no wheat for me. Then I took the fruit I wanted and passed the rest!

[Guest ~jules~]

I could write a page on this, but just one really really stuck in my head as I just got done explaining celiac to my father, then he asked me if I could have fruit Thank god my mother is a diabetic and gets it, she actually tells me she has it easy compared to my diet....

[Heater]

The first time I ate out I went to a vegetarian restaurant, and did everything the books told me to. I called ahead, had my celiac association card, talked to the server and chef about it... and the main course was good. Then the server came around and was talking about dessert and said he had a perfect gluten free dessert for me. It was some berry crumble ice cream stuff and I was all excited because everything else was good and it seemed like he understood. But when I asked what the crumble part was he said "I don't know, but all the vegans eat it". I made him check, and of course I couldn't eat it.

[LKelly8]

A new Publix grocery store opened up near me. In a hurry one day, I ran in and down the first aisle and asked this tall stockboy, "Where's your gluten free stuff?" - his response was total deer-in-headlights , I was about to laugh and say nevermind when he tentatively offered, "Can I reach something for you?". I thought that was very sweet. He hadn't the slightest clue what I had just said to him, but golly gee, he was trying to be helpful!

As a disabled person I occasionally get asked, "Oh, what's wrong with you?", (which is fine) - it's after I tell them I have rheumatoid arthritis and the reply is "O my g-d! I'd just kill myself if I got that!" And I'm thinking, hmm. . .how bizzarely inappropriate of you.

[rinne]

As a disabled person I occasionally get asked, "Oh, what's wrong with you?", (which is fine) - it's after I tell them I have rheumatoid arthritis and the reply is "O my g-d! I'd just kill myself if I got that!" And I'm thinking, hmm. . .how bizzarely inappropriate of you.

No kidding.

A drift here, back before I melted at one point I was heavy enough that a woman I barely knew approached me and asked when the baby was due. I looked her straight in the eye and said, "oh, I'm not pregnant I'm fat". I still giggle when I think of the look on her face.

I had a friend say she wished she had a "little of what I have". EEK! That just says to me that people haven't a clue what it is like to starve.

[chgomom]

right on!

When I was in the ER....they were taking notes doing their assesment and so on,

and when I got to what I had to eat that day....

*A banana and soy milk for break fast, 3 thing pieces of natural sandwhich steak for lunch and a slice of apple, * she looks at me for more and I looked at her back....and she says "Is that it....are you on some kind of South Beach Diet???"

I said no.....I pretty much starve until my intestines are healed.....she said well thats no enough....I said you're telling me. I did'nt eat dinner because I was too nauseated.

*lol*

[emcmaster]

Yesterday we were in another town, door knocking for a campaign. We went to Chili's for lunch (not my choice, but no one asked me) and I asked if they had a gluten-free menu (I'd heard there was one online and didn't *think* they had one in their stores, but thought I'd ask). The waitress looked confused, brought over a manager and then after I told them what gluten was, they opened up my menu and pointed to the "Guiltless Gourmet" section and told me it would tell me how many carbs were in there. Due to their behavior, I decided not even to risk it by trying to get them to make me something.

[Kaycee]

How about these from significant others:

If you toast the bread it will kill the gluten.

Take your own oil to the restuarant and you will have no problem.

Are you okay with potato starch?

I found this diet book that will suit you, it is low G I

You should loose a lot of weight now

Did you cheat?

Or if I say I have to be careful with my diet, they assume I have to watch the sugar or the cholestrol! Mind you I guess I should.

Catherine

Flowers??? *lol*

I was diagnosed with coeliac on valentines day and I joked i did not get flowers because the hubby was not sure what sort of flour/flowers I could have.

Lame I know, I should try to do better

Catherine

[chgomom]

YOu kjnow who has been EXCELLENT....despite thinking it would be hopeless.

Denny's and Noddle's.

Yeah, Denny's.

Apparently Denny's have atleast one grill they use for allergy cooking......and if you tell them...no sauce etc etc...they do it.

Noodle's & always have 4 cooking stations directed to what they call "Allergy Aware" you tell them just totally plain....rice noodles....and shrimp.....and a veggie.... (unless you are allergic to shrimp) Me personally I had a bad reaction to their chicken a beef....I am assuming because they add something to it.

They also keep a log (if they are doing it per their corporate SOP, of all the allergy aware sales they make date time and cook....

Other than that....PF Changs is where I have felt safe.

[Kaycee]

Only one person ever said to me that her neighbor had it and was thin too that there must be something to the gluten-free diet, that maybe everyone should eat that way.

My sister-in-law has taken up the gluten free diet to loose weight. And it is working, which upsets me, cause it is not working for me, and I have no choice in the matter.

Catherine

[chgomom]

Kaycee ---

Toast the bread it will kill the gluten....??? *LMAO*

[StrongerToday]

....from the annoying overweight co-worker

"sometimes I wish I had what you have so I could be skinny like you"

I've had this comment several times from a co-worker who I see munch on chips, McDonald's and other things all day long. It's hard not to say "gee, if you'd eat lean meat and veggies...."