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I Broke The News To My Mom...

shai76

By shai76
in Coping with Celiac Disease

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shai76 Explorer
shai76
Posted

My entire family is going to my moms house for the holiday, but my husband and I decided we were going to make a special meal at home that my son and I can eat. I just want to be able to enjoy Thanksgiving rather than freak out about cross contamination, hoping I don't have to use my epipen or be stuck with those horrible stomach aches that we all know so well. My mom was upset, but I think she's over it now. I told her we would be over after meal time to visit with everyone, which is really what is important, right?

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Guest nini
Guest nini
Posted

yep, visiting is what is most important, not the food...

we decided we are having my mom and stepdad over to my house this year and I'm doing the cooking... EVERYTHING will be gluten-free!

anerissara Enthusiast
anerissara
Posted

I don't blame you a bit for having dinner at home, looking at your list of allergies a traditional Thanksgiving dinner would be a first class ticket to ER! I'm glad you will be able to enjoy a meal without worrying that you and your son will get sick. I hope that your mother understands why you've made that decision, I can't imagine that she could be too upset considering the seriousness of the situation (although my own family has issues like that and people do still get offended when we don't eat what they are eating, so I know how that can go too!). And you're absolutely right, the holiday is supposed to be about getting together, not just the food...so having them over for safe desserts and conversation sounds like a great solution.

We have a similar problem with our family, and this will be the 2ed Thanksgiving in a row that we will do without dh's family (they live nearby). I have an added excuse because my parents and brother are coming in from out of town, we'll do a totally gluten-free/nut free Thanksgiving dinner (and I bet nobody notices, except maybe for the lack of dinner rolls!). I can never eat anything at dinners at my inlaws anyway, and I always feel bad about having to turn down most of the things on the table. My dh is allergic to nuts, and there are always nuts in the stuffing, desserts, salads...well pretty much everything. Even when people do make an attempt at making something gluten-free or nut free you do always run the risk of CC...and with a true allergy that would be really scary!

I hope you enjoy your quiet, stress free Thanksgiving! What's on the menu?

jenvan Collaborator
jenvan
Posted

Well, we all have to do what we feel we need to do, whether that means attending or staying home perhaps. I've been able to work out a few items with my family, but this year we are going to dh's family. I just bring my own food. Remember that's always an option if you don't want to miss out on any family time. But I also understand taking time with your immediate family if the traditional meal is important to you. Frankly, my MIL's cooking isn't that great, so I don't feel like I'm missing out on much :P

ajay Newbie
ajay
Posted
We have a similar problem with our family, and this will be the 2ed Thanksgiving in a row that we will do without dh's family (they live nearby).... My dh is allergic to nuts, and there are always nuts in the stuffing, desserts, salads...well pretty much everything. Even when people do make an attempt at making something gluten-free or nut free you do always run the risk of CC...and with a true allergy that would be really scary!

I hope you enjoy your quiet, stress free Thanksgiving! What's on the menu?

HOLD IT. Your dh is allergic to nuts and his own family puts nuts in the salad/stuffing/desserts?

Honey, please move away from these people as soon as you can! But seriously, I am so glad to hear you aren't having Thanksgiving with them.

Shai76, I think you've got exactly the right idea.

Judyin Philly Enthusiast
Judyin Philly
Posted

Shai76, I think you've got exactly the right idea.

ditto

judy

happygirl Collaborator
happygirl
Posted

i think it is an entirely personal decision, and you have to do what you are comfortable with. thats not to say next year or the year after won't be different, but, for now, if it works for you, do it.

I, like JenVan, just go with my own food. I am going to dh's uncle/aunts with my own food, and just last weekend, I was the matron of honor in an out of town wedding. Brought my own food everywhere with strict instructions to everyone to not even look at it (haha! :P ) I have multiple food intolerances beyond gluten and luckily did just fine. my #1 rule, after being gluten-free for a few months (dx 2004), was that I refused to do anything categorically different about my life, other than being strange about my food. I think I have the strange part down :D

But, that is the point that I am at, that I feel comfortable with. We all change, and go through phases, and yada yada. Do what is best for YOU and YOUR FAMILY.

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tarnalberry Community Regular
tarnalberry
Posted

I'm sure it'll work out fabulously, and sometimes, a small little thing is the way to go.

Yenni Enthusiast
Yenni
Posted

Sounds like a great thing to eat at home. Be able to enjoy the food and not be worried.

I am planning on staying home like that in the future too. Eat at home before we go. Now I can't because we live with family (nightmare).

Not sure what I am gonna eat for Thanksgiving yet. :P

Helena Contributor
Helena
Posted

I think the decision is wise. With kids you've got to be really careful--especially if they are contact sensitive.

One of my sisters broke out in hives and had some breathing difficulty after just sitting in a chair where someone had just eaten pecan pie----we assume she touched trace amounts. Thank goodness my grandparents put the nuts away when we visit now.

And this way your child can really enjoy Thanksgiving dinner and also get to see relatives. When I was a kid, we usually spent Christmas with relatives who are out of town. My mom would pack special treats . . . but it isn't the same as getting to eat what everyone else is eating. I remember that one Christmas that my parents had in our own home when I could eat anything I wanted (this is before my gluten free days of course).

NoGluGirl Contributor
NoGluGirl
Posted
My entire family is going to my moms house for the holiday, but my husband and I decided we were going to make a special meal at home that my son and I can eat. I just want to be able to enjoy Thanksgiving rather than freak out about cross contamination, hoping I don't have to use my epipen or be stuck with those horrible stomach aches that we all know so well. My mom was upset, but I think she's over it now. I told her we would be over after meal time to visit with everyone, which is really what is important, right?

Dear Shai76,

I know exactly how you feel. I am going to miss my Grandma's Thanksgiving feast. Especially the sausage-sage stuffing! :) But, she and I talked recently and she asked if I would come to visit, even though she knows I cannot eat anything. I told her of course I want to see everyone! I am preparing my own feast and will eat that. Then, I will go to visit. I am trying to make a dressing like Grandma's but gluten-free. Wish me luck!

Sincerely,

NoGluGirl

Firegirl43 Contributor
Firegirl43
Posted

My mom and I are makeing me a meal and takeing it down to her parents house for thanksgiving. I know I am going to get some crap over it ( some of her side just isnt very understanding) but you know what? I think its better than getting sick.

Rebecca47 Contributor
Rebecca47
Posted

I too am making thanksgiving dinner at my house where i can control the baking,my mom is bringing a pie and the rolls for her and any one else. I am making the stuffing from a box for those who can eat it. I am not stuffing the turkey and I making homemade mashed potatoes and fresh veggies, know that i will feel good after dinner and not like last year before i new i was a celiac and felt very sick after dinner what a relief. I still need to figure out my dessert ? its all good though. any ideas for dessert? :D

rebecca

AndreaB Contributor
AndreaB
Posted

Shai,

That sounds like a sound plan. I agree, it's the family that's important not the eating. I'm glad you live close enough to still be able to go over and visit.

Carriefaith Enthusiast
Carriefaith
Posted

I think that you made an excellent choice, especially since you are going over after to visit. I made Thanksgiving dinner this year at my own place and it was wonderful. I didn't have to panic or wonder and it was nice.

anerissara Enthusiast
anerissara
Posted
HOLD IT. Your dh is allergic to nuts and his own family puts nuts in the salad/stuffing/desserts?

LOL Yup. His mother and aunt are both lactose intolerent, his aunt has also been tested with wheat and soy intolerances....however, both of them will still eat the foods that bother them and just deal with the consequenses. I guess they don't understand that with a nut allergy, you can't do that! I *know* they don't understand that I really can't eat anything with gluten. Sigh. Luckily, dh's allergy has not gotten to the swelling up and not breathing stage, he developed it late in life (after we were married....so it's all *my* fault ;) ) and I think that's part of why they don't pay much attention to it.

Moving away.....I've been trying to convince dh that we need to do just that for quite some time now. So far, we're still here :unsure: One of these days, though, one of these days....

wifeandmomofceliac Newbie
wifeandmomofceliac
Posted

Dessert ideas? Yeah, I have dessert ideas.

I do a mean Pumpkin Pie. I follow the standard recipe for filling, substituting cornstarch for flour (its only a bit and has not apparent effect). For the crust, I use a crushed pecan, brown sugar, and butter mixture if there are no nut allergies attending. Otherwise, I use a crushed Gorilla Munch cereal, brown sugar, and butter mixture. Both are excellent. Same crust ideas for coconut pie, and pecan pie. My sister made a pumkin/caramel cheesecake with pecan crust that was great. She is supposed to send me the recipe, which I will be happy to share. She has also made it crustless for occasions with nut allergies. (good, but lacking something, probably would not do again). If you like rice pudding, that is easy to do gluten-free. I recently tried Betted Hagman's Master White Cake. If you like cakes, it is quite good, even to gluten-eaters.

I have had such success with gluten-free desserts, that my family has put us in charge of pies for all Thanksgiving gatherings for the past 4 years. I don't mind, because my family really does get it, and will serve an entirely gluten-free meal, complete with cornstarch gravy, and gluten-free dressing (no stuffing of birds in our family anyhow), and even gluten-free green bean casserole. This is all for my hubby and daughter (really for hubby, cause daughter has zero interest in the food, anyhow). Can't tell you how lucky I feel after reading some of the posts here. We do know how you feel though, cause hubby's family is not quite there. We will stop by to visit them after the meal.

I too am making thanksgiving dinner at my house where i can control the baking,my mom is bringing a pie and the rolls for her and any one else. I am making the stuffing from a box for those who can eat it. I am not stuffing the turkey and I making homemade mashed potatoes and fresh veggies, know that i will feel good after dinner and not like last year before i new i was a celiac and felt very sick after dinner what a relief. I still need to figure out my dessert ? its all good though. any ideas for dessert? :D

rebecca

weathertopmama Rookie
weathertopmama
Posted

Thank you for the Gorilla Munch pie crust idea! My boys would love that.

Thanksgiving with family is hard. It shouldn't be, IMO, but I guess the new thing to be Thankful for is that it is only once a year!!!

anerissara Enthusiast
anerissara
Posted

I do a fun pumpkin cheesecake....I use crushed Midel gluten-free gingersnaps and butter for the crust (yum!) and top it with lots of whipped cream, drizzled with carmel sauce.

I made a regular pumpkin pie the other day with a crust made of 1/2 rice flour, 1/2 tapioca starch. I don't roll out the crust, just press it into the greased pan and it turns out great. that will work for any pie that involves a single pie crust....apple, peach, French silk etc.

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