Giving Up Gluten

[Kaycee]

In the very early stages of giving up gluten I read an article in our local Coeliac Link magazine that compared it to the seven signs of grieving. We are grieving the loss of something that once was.

Then I read the book that Michael J Fox wrote about Parkinsons Disease, as I needed something positive to read, he mentioned the process he went through to acceptance, but I could feel he was going through similar things to me and I did wonder if it is the same with any disease, that there is a process to go through.

I then read the book by Christopher Reeve, about his life, but found that completely different, and not as much of an eye opener for me (Sorry Christopher). Different personalities and different coping mechanisms

1 Shock. I can identify with shock at the diagnosis, even if I suspected I had coeliac The doctor got it wrong, hey it is not me, I am as healthy as an ox and my next blood tests will show up negative.

2 Denial Yes I denied it, I challenged it once or twice and tried gluten foods. It worked it made me sick. But I was still thinking, maybe it was not a positive result. But I could see improvements the longer I stuck with the diet, but at the same time I could deny I had coeliac. Even though I was in denial, I still would not eat gluten, I was scared and maybe in the back of my mind I knew the diagnosis was true, and didn't want to tempt the fate gods.

3 Bargaining I wasn't into bargaining. Maybe telling myself that I will only rant and rave about coelaic for a couple of months with my family was a bargain, but the ranting and raving went on for longer than that.

4 Guilt I didn't feel guilty, because it was me who had the disease, but I would feel guilty if I have passed it on another member of my family. But I feel a bit of guilt now that our diets revolve more around what I can eat and not so much what they like. I gave them all menu sheets this week so they could have more say in meals. So far only got hubbys back, and he wants fish and shell fish.

5 Anger I got angry, I screamed at hubby in the middle of the night for not understanding, I got real angry with him for waving things I couldn't eat in my face. I got angry with the world for not being able to eat what I like and how I like. I hated Burger King so much I ran out crying. Food manufacturers were the new evil out there. These were in the first few months when my emotions were just bubbling at the surface.

6 Depression I did not get despressed , as I noticed my depressed feelings had dissappeared by eating better. But I became obssessed with food, not just to eat, but things to cook, what I could have and couldn't. I bought most food magazines and a few recipe books. I checked everything for gluten in the supermarket even if I did not like the food.

7 Resignation and acceptance. Resignation came eventually, that I will have to stick to this new way of eating and like it. It was my disease, but it still was not easy being reminded every day, that this is for life, but my emotions were more in check, I had got used to staff morning teas, I learnt how to cope with things like that. But still occassionally when I realise there is nothing I can eat, the tears still nearly brim.

Acceptance came the morning I woke up a couple of weeks back, saying I can't wait to eat normally again and do away with all this Christmas binging. I was not harping for past eating habits, but new ones I had developed over the last year! I have come through. Maybe not as fast as everyone else, but I have arrived here at acceptance and feel it is time to invest time into my marriage and children.

Sorry this is so long, but we all need time to come right, and we need to give ourselves permission to take whatever time it takes to reach acceptance.

Cathy

[AndreaB]

I gave them all menu sheets this week so they could have more say in meals. So far only got hubbys back, and he wants fish and shell fish.

Acceptance came the morning I woke up a couple of weeks back, saying I can't wait to eat normally again and do away with all this Christmas binging. I was not harping for past eating habits, but new ones I had developed over the last year! I have come through. Maybe not as fast as everyone else, but I have arrived here at acceptance and feel it is time to invest time into my marriage and children.

Sorry this is so long, but we all need time to come right, and we need to give ourselves permission to take whatever time it takes to reach acceptance.

Cathy

What a great idea with the menu sheets!

So glad you've shared and congratulations on getting through the process.

[tarnalberry]

I *absolutely* think it's a grieving process. And something that isn't talked about the grieving process enough is that it is a cyclic process, that can go on - in some lesser form or another - indefinitely, because the loss is never regained. So just because you get through the 'seven stages' doesn't mean you'll never grieve again.

[Guest cassidy]

I totally felt this way. Feeling so much better really helped me accept the diet. When I would get glutened I would get angry again but I would move back to acceptance much more quickly because I was feeling so much better on the diet. I would think that any condition that changes your way of life takes a while to come to terms with. After a year, it really doesn't bother me at all anymore.

[darlindeb25]

Tarnalberry (sorry, I can't remember your real name) is so correct about the greiving process, it does hit us at the strangest times. I have been gluten-free now for 5 1/2 years. When I first went gluten-free, I could see the light at the end of the tunnell, meaning, finally, I was feeling better and I could see that I could have a life like others. I did not grieve food then, I was happy to not be sick, I had been sick for over 30 yrs. This last summer I became very depressed about food, the ladies at work are obsessed with recipes and talking about food constantly, just a reminder of what I can't have. My diet is very limited now because of other intolerances. My sweetie gave my daughter some candy for Christmas and she says, "Hey mom, I have candy!" with a big smile. He then said, "I used to know what I could buy your mom, but now with all these other intolerances, it is just too confusing to me."

Don't worry that you may go through it all again, just keep in mind that it can happen and when it does, then you can understand why.