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Im Sick Of Eating Out!

holdthegluten

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holdthegluten Rising Star
holdthegluten
Posted

I am so sick of all of these constant family gatherings where i am forced to eat out. It seems like it is always someones birthday or graduation, etc. I just want to eat my own homemade food and relax in peace without the worry of whether or not what i ate is gonna make me sick. My family acts like as long as i can order off their gluten free menu, then i should attend. They dont understand how the smallest amounts (CC) can make you ill for a week. I just want to quit feeling forced to go out to eat. Thanks for letting me vent. Anyone else feel this way?

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SunnyDyRain Enthusiast
SunnyDyRain
Posted
I am so sick of all of these constant family gatherings where i am forced to eat out. It seems like it is always someones birthday or graduation, etc. I just want to eat my own homemade food and relax in peace without the worry of whether or not what i ate is gonna make me sick. My family acts like as long as i can order off their gluten free menu, then i should attend. They dont understand how the smallest amounts (CC) can make you ill for a week. I just want to quit feeling forced to go out to eat. Thanks for letting me vent. Anyone else feel this way?

I feel similar. Last weekend my mother insited I go to her Retirement party, of course at a pizza place. I agreed to go, but planned on not eating. She insited, pointing out everything I could possibly eat, finally gave in, with a salad. I told them spesifcally"no crutons". It came with crutons... GRR. So annoyed.

wowzer Community Regular
wowzer
Posted

I so agree that eating out is a nightmare. I got really sick the last time I ate out.

ravenwoodglass Mentor
ravenwoodglass
Posted

The simplest way to deal with this is to eat a good meal before you go, bring a bottled beverage with you and just smile and join the party. If folks ask why your not eating just say you have an allergy and then either educate them or change the subject. So many social occasions happen this time of year, food does not have to be consumed to enjoy the celebration.

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted

It does seem as if every reason to celebrate has to include eating a meal out somewhere, and usually it is at a pizza place or something similar. I go through this at work, everyone goes out to eat on a coworkers birthday. I have started to get better with it. I am finding things I can eat and I call ahead and make arrangements.

DarkIvy Explorer
DarkIvy
Posted

When I initially went gluten free to see how I would feel, I was living in a dorm. The food in our cafeterias was AWFUL. Completely unsafe for someone dealing with this sort of diet... eating out was infinitely easier for me at the time. I suppose the lesser of two evils.

I've realized that most people are completely unaware of how little gluten it takes to make a celiac sick. So, rather than obsessing over their ignorance, it's a lot easier (for me) just to explain it that way. Rather than saying "I have celiac and can't eat gluten", which hardly anyone seems to understand, I explain it in terms of "I can't have gluten, and just a tiny crumb can make me sick for days." I find that if I state that right away, whoever I'm talking to has an easier time understanding it. A lot of people simply aren't aware of how little it takes, and anyone who has never dealt with gluten issues before might not even think of cc until you explain it.

The same works for family, generally. Even my well-intentioned parents didn't think of a lot of little things when I came home, like my needing a separate space for my food or that the teflon pans could absorb gluten so I can't eat food cooked out of them. Gentle reminders about this sort of thing has helped immensely. The people closest to me have been able to pick up the diet basics fairly quickly and have even tried to help me.

I think it's important not to feel like you're being "forced". Celiac requires TONS of communication going both ways. And really, if you've been invited, obviously they want your company :) You shouldn't feel forced, but I'd suggest going and enjoying yourself anyway. I for one am not going to let this make me feel like a recluse. I love going out with family and friends, this isn't going to stop me...

A couple of things that I've learned, particularly when I was still on campus and had to eat out to avoid the cafeterias have really helped me out. You can always eat something before you go, or after. I bring my Larabars with me, so if worse comes to worse I can still eat with my friends. If you call ahead, you can get a good idea of the restaurants ability to accomodate you. I just say "hey, I'll be at your restaurant tonight with some friends but I can't eat any gluten, bla bla." I usually ask a lot of questions: if they have a menu, or are aware of which items are suitable, etc. I've been surprised at the number of restaurants that knew what I was talking about and had other similar customers on a daily basis. If you aren't comfortable eating there after the phone call, you can at least know to eat something before or bring a bit of your own food. The way I see it is if I restaurant can't accomodate me, then I should be able to bring something of my own. A lot of servers are very understanding anyway, they'd rather not make you sick somehow by accident.

Once you're in a restaurant, explain the situation to the waiter. Again, I make it clear that just a speck of bread can make me sick, and if need be I ask for fresh silverwear if someone's bumped it around. I've asked for ingredient lists for certain items and asked servers to look up their soy sauce to find out if there's any wheat. Once they understand that you're honestly trying to prevent yourself from getting sick, they're usually willing to go the extra mile for you. And if your family is listening to your speech, they might start to understand, as well :)

I've discovered that one of the best ways to get my friends and family to understand is not to avoid eating with them, but to go anyway and do what I can. I always put my safety before their "feelings", which helps. The more they see me insist how important it is that I don't just "pick out croutons" or whatever, the more they see me snacking on my own food or bringing my own soy sauce to sushi bars, the more they understand. I think the most important thing again, is communication. Most people hardly know what gluten is, let alone how it makes you sick or about CC.

Some people won't ever get it. Everyone's met someone that just doesn't understand... but so far I've had really good luck doing this way. The more I show someone how serious it is, the more seriously they take it as well.

Good luck, don't let this put you off from gatherings. Go and enjoy yourself :)

kbtoyssni Contributor
kbtoyssni
Posted

I usually bring my own food when I go out to eat. I'm there for the company and social stuff, not for the food so I could care less what I'm eating. This way I don't have to stress out about the food and I get to hang out with people.

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mandasmom Rookie
mandasmom
Posted
I usually bring my own food when I go out to eat. I'm there for the company and social stuff, not for the food so I could care less what I'm eating. This way I don't have to stress out about the food and I get to hang out with people.

I agree--I think its a mistake to avoid time out with friends and family..I always eat before I go and carry a small snack with me....if I am comfortable at the restaurant I might order a veggie or potatoe--if not I just join in for the conversation

Sweetfudge Community Regular
Sweetfudge
Posted
I explain it in terms of "I can't have gluten, and just a tiny crumb can make me sick for days." I find that if I state that right away, whoever I'm talking to has an easier time understanding it. A lot of people simply aren't aware of how little it takes, and anyone who has never dealt with gluten issues before might not even think of cc until you explain it.

A couple of things that I've learned, particularly when I was still on campus and had to eat out to avoid the cafeterias have really helped me out. You can always eat something before you go, or after. I bring my Larabars with me, so if worse comes to worse I can still eat with my friends. If you call ahead, you can get a good idea of the restaurants ability to accomodate you. I just say "hey, I'll be at your restaurant tonight with some friends but I can't eat any gluten, bla bla." I usually ask a lot of questions: if they have a menu, or are aware of which items are suitable, etc. I've been surprised at the number of restaurants that knew what I was talking about and had other similar customers on a daily basis. If you aren't comfortable eating there after the phone call, you can at least know to eat something before or bring a bit of your own food. The way I see it is if I restaurant can't accomodate me, then I should be able to bring something of my own. A lot of servers are very understanding anyway, they'd rather not make you sick somehow by accident.

great response darkivy! that's what i usually tell people, is that even a crumb will make me sick for 5 days. when going out to eat, i like to bring my own little things too. i'll bring warm corn tortillas wrapped in foil when i get fajitas. i'll bring my own chips, seasoning salt, etc. It works :D Maybe even bring your own salad or something. I've brought croutons before. I don't usually call places before I go, but that's a good idea. I might have to start doing that...

Teacher1958 Apprentice
Teacher1958
Posted
I am so sick of all of these constant family gatherings where i am forced to eat out. It seems like it is always someones birthday or graduation, etc. I just want to eat my own homemade food and relax in peace without the worry of whether or not what i ate is gonna make me sick. My family acts like as long as i can order off their gluten free menu, then i should attend. They dont understand how the smallest amounts (CC) can make you ill for a week. I just want to quit feeling forced to go out to eat. Thanks for letting me vent. Anyone else feel this way?

I should probably knock on wood, but I have had really good luck with fruit salads. Just make sure they don't give you the muffin. It's a really good time of year for fruit salads, too. Yum.

DarkIvy Explorer
DarkIvy
Posted
great response darkivy! that's what i usually tell people, is that even a crumb will make me sick for 5 days. when going out to eat, i like to bring my own little things too. i'll bring warm corn tortillas wrapped in foil when i get fajitas. i'll bring my own chips, seasoning salt, etc. It works :D Maybe even bring your own salad or something. I've brought croutons before. I don't usually call places before I go, but that's a good idea. I might have to start doing that...

I'm going to have start bringing my wheat-free soy sauce to sushi bars... *Sigh* I got spoiled in my college town, they all had tamari on hand if you asked. I went to a sushi restaurant last weekend and they had none, so I had to eat my sushi plain, haha. Bringing your own tortillas is another great idea, I hadn't thought of that :)

tarnalberry Community Regular
tarnalberry
Posted

I eat ahead of time and have water. It's up to you to say no, no matter what anyone else says. I know it can be rough, but unless you have found places that you are confident with (and I encourage you to try), and can eat there, it's all you can do. You should *not* ostracize yourself from social situations just because other people are eating, though. Go and enjoy their company!

Babs83 Rookie
Babs83
Posted

I work one day a week at our hospital emergency room. The cafeteria doesn't know what you are talking about when you ask if they have any gluten free items. My brother who goes into shock and can't breathe when he eats gluten was in the hospital about a year ago and his wife had to read all the labels on the things they wanted to feed him. He finally ate mashed potatoes, eggs and some juices. I usually have to take my food.

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