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Husband Help!

ItchyMeredith

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ItchyMeredith Contributor
ItchyMeredith
Posted

Let me start off by saying that I have an awesome husband who has been (mostly) amazing through all of this. I would say that he is 95% supportive of this new diet but it is that 5% that I am really trying to work on. He for some reason thinks that because my celiac symptoms are dermatitis herpitiformis and only minor digestive discomfort that it is probably okay to ingest a little gluten. He thinks that I am just being obsessive by trying to prevent cross contamination. How can I help to get him on board? Does anyone have any tips on how to explain the importance of a completely 100% gluten free lifestyle to loved ones?

Thanks!

Meredith

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celiac-mommy Collaborator
celiac-mommy
Posted
Let me start off by saying that I have an awesome husband who has been (mostly) amazing through all of this. I would say that he is 95% supportive of this new diet but it is that 5% that I am really trying to work on. He for some reason thinks that because my celiac symptoms are dermatitis herpitiformis and only minor digestive discomfort that it is probably okay to ingest a little gluten. He thinks that I am just being obsessive by trying to prevent cross contamination. How can I help to get him on board? Does anyone have any tips on how to explain the importance of a completely 100% gluten free lifestyle to loved ones?

Thanks!

Meredith

My husband did the same thing when it came to our daughter's diagnosis (and she has pretty violent symptoms). It took the dr. actually sitting him down and explaining the situation and although not immediatly life threatening, it was still dangerous. Maybe your dr would do a free consult with him...

kbtoyssni Contributor
kbtoyssni
Posted

Maybe you could give him the list of potential diseases that can be caused by untreated celiac - stuff like cancer, osteoporosis, Alzheimer's, etc. There's a good list of them in the book Dangerous Grains.

sneezydiva Apprentice
sneezydiva
Posted

I also agree with the doctor speaking to him. Authority helps. I remember when I was first diagnosed with my dustmite and pollen allergies. My husband was with me when I was tested, and the doctor was very stern with him about how his pillow had to have a dustmite cover too, and things he needed to do to the house. As great as my husband is, I'm not sure if he would have taken them quite as seriously if the doctor had not directly told him how important it was. I think both my parents and his parents feel I'm a bit obsessive about my "biodome" as we jokingly call it. But my husband rarely gets frustrated with it, and I believe it was the doctor's doing.

ptkds Community Regular
ptkds
Posted

I read things off the internet (mostly this site) to my hubby. I told him of all the dangerous and long term side effects of eating gluten. I told him about how long it takes to for the intestines to recover from a tiny amount of gluten. It took awhile for dh to get used to it, but now he is great about it. He accidentally glutened me and the kids the other night when he made hamburgers (he used Worcestershire sauce that he and I both thought were safe). He felt HORRIBLE and just kept apologizing. Now he even defends me to his family when they have a hard time understanding the restrictions.

Give him time. He will come around. Give him info, and involve him in your learning process (that is what I did). Share w/ him what you read. He will soon understand, especially if 1 of your kids develops celiac disease.

ptkds

sparkles Contributor
sparkles
Posted

I have an awesome husband who I thought was supportive of our gluten-free zone! Unfortunately, I found him laying his bagel on my cutting board. He eats his bagel at 6 am while I am still in bed. I have also discovered him making a sandwich on the cutting board. His excuse when I found him doing it was "I was going to put it through the dishwasher later today." I have explained and explained and explained about CC but it is like "that little bit can't possibly make you sick." I just decided that it wasn't worth the anger anymore and I have my own cutting board that I hide or I just use a plate to cut food on. I know that he takes this disease seriously but I think the issue of CC is just beyond his comprehension. Since it is just the two of us, it is a lot easier for me to control the situation than leaving it up to him. The only gluten we have in the house are his bagels, bread for sandwiches, and frozen pizza so I pretty much can control the kitchen area. But it does make me angry that sometimes he just can't remember to just put a plate down and cut his bagel or sandwich on it. The pizza pan is covered with foil when I use it so no problem with CC there. But it is frustrating. I have to remember that he didn't know me when I was so ill so he really has no idea as to the extent of the damage done. When you begin to realize that the people who live with you 24/7 sometimes "forget" how important a gluten free cooking area is, it is easy to recognize that those people who aren't there all the time just really don't have a clue as to how to take this disease seriously.

little d Enthusiast
little d
Posted
Maybe you could give him the list of potential diseases that can be caused by untreated celiac - stuff like cancer, osteoporosis, Alzheimer's, etc. There's a good list of them in the book Dangerous Grains.

I told my husband about all these and he said lets hope not. the other night I was making spegetti and I was using corn glutne free noddles they are a little hard to cook still have not figured them out anyway my husband says just the regular noodles and I said no because glutne free helps me out. Im sure if our daughter was diagnosed with celiac he would do his darndest to what we need to. And when I brought home my lactaid mild for me he said your doing that again, I didnt say anything I just put it up and walked away.

donna

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StrongerToday Enthusiast
StrongerToday
Posted

The best tip I've heard is to compare it so samonella (sp). You can't see it, feel it, taste it etc. but it's like gluten. I can't just pick the sandwich fillings out of regular bread, just like you wouldn't eat lunchmeat that had been sitting on raw chicken.

tarnalberry Community Regular
tarnalberry
Posted

The problem with listing the side effects, the long term complications, or any of that, is that it still doesn't explain why seeminly miniscule amounts will hurt you. For those explanations, I ask people to remember any chemistry lab they had in high school or college. Did they ever have a little spill of something before the experiment started, and there was some reaction occuring that wasn't supposed to yet, even though hardly any of the reagents were being used? Well, the same thing happens in the intestines - a chemical reaction. Only, in the case of celiac disease, the gluten is just a catalyst to a self-sustaining reaction, one that can feed itself off of supplies found in your own body for up to two weeks.

*This* is the reason a little bit matters - because a little bit will cause the reaction that will cause intestinal damage just as well. It can be difficult to grasp if you're not thinking along those lines, but helping him see those lines might help.

ItchyMeredith Contributor
ItchyMeredith
Posted
  • Author
The problem with listing the side effects, the long term complications, or any of that, is that it still doesn't explain why seeminly miniscule amounts will hurt you. For those explanations, I ask people to remember any chemistry lab they had in high school or college. Did they ever have a little spill of something before the experiment started, and there was some reaction occuring that wasn't supposed to yet, even though hardly any of the reagents were being used? Well, the same thing happens in the intestines - a chemical reaction. Only, in the case of celiac disease, the gluten is just a catalyst to a self-sustaining reaction, one that can feed itself off of supplies found in your own body for up to two weeks.

*This* is the reason a little bit matters - because a little bit will cause the reaction that will cause intestinal damage just as well. It can be difficult to grasp if you're not thinking along those lines, but helping him see those lines might help.

OHHHH. That's a good explanation.

I think that he is coming around. I showed him a site all about DH that explained how delayed the DH can be. I didn't know that the rash I have now probably is because of gluten I ate 3-6 months ago but could be from even a couple of years ago. If I ingest even a little gluten I could have a rash reaction many months down the line....not to mention intestinal damage. WOW.

I think he is beginning to grasp the importance of all of this and so am I.

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