Jump to content

  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):

    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

Daughter Wants gluten-free Birthday Party

lonewolf

By lonewolf
in Coping with Celiac Disease

Recommended Posts

lonewolf Collaborator
lonewolf
Posted

My daughter is having a big 16th birthday party next month and wants the whole thing to be gluten-free. (She's gluten intolerant and is very dedicated to the diet.) She'll have at least 40 teenagers there, so it will be a lot of food. We're having chips, cookies, fruit and vegetable trays, punch and cake. I completely support her in this choice and am willing to make cake and cupcakes for everyone. My recipes are good and I know that everyone will like the cake.

Here's the problem. My mother in law, who is really kind and generous, has decided that her way of helping should be to buy two Costco cakes for the party. I politely explained, as did my husband, that we appreciate her offer, but want the party to be gluten-free so my daughter doesn't have to worry about anything. After all, it's HER party - she shouldn't have to even think about food or what she can and can't have off the the table. My MIL says that the other kids don't care what kind of cake they're eating, so I shouldn't take the time to make all the cake.

She's being generous, but I know that the real reason she's offering is because she thinks that our gluten-free diet is "going overboard". My daughter's tests came out negative, but at 14 she realized that she felt a LOT better eating gluten-free and made that decision for herself. My husband's family thinks we're being silly and act like it's a big problem for them. My 12 year old son and I are also gluten-free and they're constantly asking things like, "Do you really think that they both NEED to be gluten-free?". "Now, explain what type of testing you had done again" or "Oh, a little bit can't hurt them - they aren't as sensitive as you are". Anyway, I'm feeling frustrated because my MIL is getting pushy. She won't even try most of our gluten-free food and sighs and acts disgusted when I even mention anything is gluten-free. (I should add that she's about 100 pounds or more overweight and seems threatened by someone actually restricting their diet.)

Anyone have any ideas for what else I should say to her? Something polite that keeps some peace in the family? Thanks.

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


dandelionmom Enthusiast
dandelionmom
Posted

Are you sure you have to be polite?! ;)

Can your husband call and say, "mom, thanks for the offer of the cakes. We're going to have to say no thank you but we appreciate how generous it was for you to offer! I don't know if this sounds like a good idea to you or not but if you'd still like to do something special, I bet our daughter would love to be given flowers. It would make her feel so special and grown up!"

Good luck!

Mango04 Enthusiast
Mango04
Posted

"Thank you for your very generous offer. I have the cakes taken care of, but would love for you to pick up *insert some sort of safe, pre-packaged gluten-free item*"

LOL I dunno...why are some people so strange about food? :blink::rolleyes:

lonewolf Collaborator
lonewolf
Posted
  • Author
"Thank you for your very generous offer. I have the cakes taken care of, but would love for you to pick up *insert some sort of safe, pre-packaged gluten-free item*"

LOL dunno...why are some people so strange about food? :blink::rolleyes:

Yeah, I think when she brings it up again I'll tell her how much I appreciate her wanting to help and ask if she could please get a large fruit or vegetable tray.

My daughter's response to this whole thing was, "Why does she care? She's not even coming!"

Cam's Mom Contributor
Cam's Mom
Posted

Gotta love generous family :rolleyes: !

How about "since it is her birthday we are letting her pick the menu and she has chosen to have this kind of cake (and not Costco cake). So, since she's the birthday girls that's that." And, maybe with a little humor you could insert "we're lucky that was the extent of her request . . . much easier than say - a new laptop"

You can offer to bring the Costco cake to Grandma's birthday when it is her turn to choose. I would try not to make this about the "food issue" since that is clearly a sticky subject but rather about a kid who is turning 16 and has a right to request certain things at her party. This could just have easily been a discussion over the fact that she wanted anything other than what is offered at Costco.

I remember someone on the board said something like "my day - my way, your day, your way". I like that!

Best of luck and happy birthday to your daughter!

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted
My daughter's response to this whole thing was, "Why does she care? She's not even coming!"

That was my first thought....

Yea, I would simply tell her that the cake situation is taken care of. It's your daughter's birthday, and she has chosen the type that she wants.

If she would like to contribute, the fruit or veggie tray is a great idea :)

I tell ya, Liz, I don't know what it is about this diet that pushes so many people's buttons :(

Wish that smart daughter of yours a happy birthday for me! :D

Darn210 Enthusiast
Darn210
Posted

I think everyone is on the right track . . .

Cake's taken care of . . . If you want to help how about an ice cream sundae buffet? (That is if your daughter would like something like that there.)

Actually, if she's really generous . . . how 'bout springing for some car insurance for a 16 year old driver??? :lol::lol::lol:

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


EBsMom Apprentice
EBsMom
Posted
She's being generous, but I know that the real reason she's offering is because she thinks that our gluten-free diet is "going overboard".

You've got several good responses to choose from, but I just wanted to give a supportive shout of indignation! That sounds like something my m-i-l would do, under the guise of "helping." That's the kind of help we can do without! Kudos to your daughter, for choosing what makes her feel best and taking care of her self! Have a wonderful party, with those wonderful gluten-free cakes!!!

Rho

happygirl Collaborator
happygirl
Posted
I tell ya, Liz, I don't know what it is about this diet that pushes so many people's buttons :(

Isn't that the truth. :)

Josina Newbie
Josina
Posted

I was only diagnosed this year and I personally if I could, would never eat a costo cake. Nothing is more special than home made. I have always baked my children's birthday cakes and they love it. Just go with what is in your heart. It is not her life to mess up. If your daughter eats gluten free, then who is your mother in law or anyone else to decide other way?

Go with what your daughter wants. My mother-in-law has informed me that this is all in my head, that my doctor is nuts??????

My parents both are having a hard time and are trying to give me foods with gluten in it to see how I react. I never eat there anymore (go figure)

Hope your daughter has a wonderful birthday!

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):


  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      131,933
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748
    Kazwal
    Newest Member
    Kazwal
    Joined
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.5k
    • Total Posts
      1m
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):


  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • Wheatwacked
      Help I’m cross contaminating myself,

      By Wheatwacked · Posted

      The discovery of the vitamin D receptor in multiple immune cell lineages, such as monocytes, dendritic cells, and activated T cells credits vitamin D with a novel role in modulating immunological functions and its subsequent role in the development or prevention of autoimmune diseases.  The Implication of Vitamin D and Autoimmunity: a Comprehensive Review
    • Wheatwacked
      Bitters for digestion?

      By Wheatwacked · Posted

      Definitely get vitamin D 25(OH)D.  Celiac Disease causes vitamin D deficiency and one of the functions of vitamin D is modulating the genes.  While we can survive with low vitamin D as an adaptation to living in a seasonal environment, the homeostasis is 200 nmol/L.  Vitamin D Receptors are found in nearly every cell with a nucleus,while the highest concentrations are in tissues like the intestine, kidney, parathyroid, and bone.  A cellular communication system, if you will. The vitamin D receptor: contemporary genomic approaches reveal new basic and translational insights  Possible Root Causes of Histamine Intolerance. "Low levels of certain nutrients like copper, Vitamins A, B6, and C can lead to histamine build up along with excess or deficient levels of iron. Iodine also plays a crucial role in histamine regulation."  
    • AnnaNZ
      Bitters for digestion?

      By AnnaNZ · Posted

      I forgot to mention my suspicion of the high amount of glyphosate allowed to be used on wheat in USA and NZ and Australia. My weight was 69kg mid-2023, I went down to 60kg in March 2024 and now hover around 63kg (just after winter here in NZ) - wheat-free and very low alcohol consumption.
    • AnnaNZ
      Bitters for digestion?

      By AnnaNZ · Posted

      Hi Jess Thanks so much for your response and apologies for the long delay in answering. I think I must have been waiting for something to happen before I replied and unfortunately it fell off the radar... I have had an upper endoscopy and colonoscopy in the meantime (which revealed 'minor' issues only). Yes I do think histamine intolerance is one of the problems. I have been lowering my histamine intake and feeling a lot better. And I do think it is the liver which is giving the pain. I am currently taking zinc (I have had three low zinc tests now), magnesium, B complex, vitamin E and a calcium/Vitamin C mix. I consciously think about getting vitamin D outside. (Maybe I should have my vitamin D re-tested now...) I am still 100% gluten-free. My current thoughts on the cause of the problems is some, if not all, of the following: Genetically low zinc uptake, lack of vitamin D, wine drinking (alcohol/sulphites), covid, immune depletion, gastroparesis, dysbiosis, leaky gut, inability to process certain foods I am so much better than late 2023 so feel very positive 🙂    
    • lehum
      4.5 years into diagnosis, eating gluten-free and still struggling: would love support, tips, & stories

      By lehum · Posted

      Hi and thank you very much for your detailed response! I am so glad that the protocol worked so well for you and helped you to get your health back on track. I've heard of it helping other people too. One question I have is how did you maintain your weight on this diet? I really rely on nuts and rice to keep me at a steady weight because I tend to lose weight quickly and am having a hard time envisioning how to make it work, especially when not being able to eat things like nuts and avocados. In case you have any input, woud be great to hear it! Friendly greetings.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

NOTICE: This site places This site places cookies on your device (Cookie settings). on your device. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use, and Privacy Policy.