I Get Neurotic Every Time I Eat

[Lovey25]

I was at a restaurant today with my family and I made sure to steer clear of all the things I cannot eat (gluten, sugar, dairy, anything fermented) and opted for a fresh salad with grilled chicken on top. I had ordered this dish at this restaurant before and they had always just seasoned the chicken with a light sprinkling of dry herbs. Well, this time the chicken on the salad comes out with this gloopy marinade, which I can tell is processed and pre-packaged. Then I get all neurotic like, OMGZ, this chicken is going to probably kill me because if it doesn't contain sugar/corn syrup (highly doubtful) it definitely contains MSG or soy sauce (which we all know contains wheat) or some sort of wheat extract.

And my family could tell I was in distress -- I was just starring at the chicken, in despair -- and they asked me what was wrong. I said, "Every time I eat I have to get neurotic... and I'm sick of it!!" And it's true. I'm sure some of you have to feel this way too! Always having to be so aware when I eat is leaving me with one big panic attack. I don't mind eating healthy and actually ENJOY eating healthy because it makes me feel well (I mostly eat fresh herbs and veg, fish and lean protein, nuts/seeds, rice or quinoa or millet, beans, and sea vegetables -- literally NOTHING processed), but just the fact that it always requires thought and scrutiny is making me a basket case. Every time someone invites me out to eat I start getting irritable and panicky and end up being short with them, as if their kindly invitation were such a terrible gesture. How dare they!! And then I feel bad and mean, but when they ask me where we could go that I'd be able to find something to eat, I freak out because there's nowhere I can go to find something to eat besides my own kitchen!!

I'm sick of the anxiety.

I'm sick of the awareness.

I'm sick of getting irritable at the thought of food and at the thought of going out to eat with my loved ones!!!

I love the way this diet makes me feel physically, but does anyone feel the mental/emotional/social pains associated with it??

[lizard00]

Welcome to our corner of the earth! If no one else in your life understands, we do.

We've all been where you are. The first few months are hard. Starting with feeling on top of the world because you feel so much better. Then somewhere, it hits you. How careful you have to be, how you can't have regular pizza, or beer, or whatever. How you have to worry about your friends fixing you food, and a million other things.

All I can say is that it will get better. It will get easier. I've cried over food before, which I thought I would NEVER do. I had a break down in a room full of 3000 people over a stupid sandwich.

If your friend invites you over to eat, offer to help cook. Then you know exactly what's in your food, and they think you're being polite and helpful. Bring a dessert or another dish. It's an adjustment for everyone, so they're not going to get it immediately. Over time, they'll understand how careful you have to be, and it will become just a part of who you are.

In a restaurant, ask a million questions if you need to. (Just be sure to tip them well! LOL) There's a few restaurants that have gluten-free menus, and I've eaten there without incident. I'm pretty sensitive to this stuff, too. So, eating out successfully can be done, you just have to put more thought into it than you're used to.

We all know the mental stress that beginning the gluten-free lifestyle brings, so vent away, ask any questions, etc.

[Juliebove]

Chicken scares me. I won't order it unless I know they cook it fresh, from scratch. Most restaurants don't. Salads scare me too. I've found cheese buried in there. Eggs on top. Even croutons that I don't find till I get to the bottom of the bowl. I just hate feeling sick! I don't have celiac, but I do have food allergies.

[SJKAPLANES]

i AM HAVING SIMILAR PROBLEMS BUT MINE INCLUDE MY OWN KITCHEN. My wife and daughter are careless w/crumbs and they can be in the silverware drawer (counter is right above), on the counter or table, or many other places. They don't understand how careful I need them to be...they don't get that being aware of my situation and watching ingredients for gluten is only part of what i need from them. Very frustrating and difficult.

[Lovey25]

Thanks for the comments and support you guys.

The fortunate (or is it unfortunate??) thing is that I have been on an anti-Candida diet for about a year now, so I'm doing both the anti-Candida AND the gluten-free. So, that's the real challenge. I don't want to say the gluten-free diet is easy at all, but it is sooo much more lenient than the anti-Candida. The real problem is just that I'm still on both so that makes my food choices even more limited and makes me even more neurotic.

I know those of you who don't eat gluten, and then also have additional allergies can probably relate.

SJKAPLANES: I feel for you. That would be REALLY hard to have to deal with it in my own home.

It's not that either diet is so terrible, but just the two combined is killing me!!!!!!!

(By the way, the salad from earlier today is giving me bad bad bad stomach cramps and intestinal drama!!!)

[Klauren]

I am so with you! I was just diagnosed 2 weeks ago and I am freaked out by eating out and JUST NOW I am sick. I think it is this: I was being smart and brought my own lactose free milk to a coffee shop in a thermos and paid them to just steam it for me. This is probably the stupidest thing this group has ever heard of, but it seemed like a good plan to me. Now an hour later I am in pain. I think the coffee shop must have steamed my milk and contaminated it while doing so. Rookie mistake I guess. I guess I can never get anything from the barista at a coffee shop again. I have been a Starbuck addict, but I guess you cannot trust anything they make behind the counter, huh?

Anyway, I agree with you this is so scary. And I am wondering whether every time I make a mistake I am setting myself WAY back and have damaged my intestines again and caused inflamation and am back to square one?

Do you go back to square one each time you make a mistake???

[Lovey25]

I am so with you! I was just diagnosed 2 weeks ago and I am freaked out by eating out and JUST NOW I am sick. I think it is this: I was being smart and brought my own lactose free milk to a coffee shop in a thermos and paid them to just steam it for me. This is probably the stupidest thing this group has ever heard of, but it seemed like a good plan to me. Now an hour later I am in pain. I think the coffee shop must have steamed my milk and contaminated it while doing so. Rookie mistake I guess. I guess I can never get anything from the barista at a coffee shop again. I have been a Starbuck addict, but I guess you cannot trust anything they make behind the counter, huh?

Anyway, I agree with you this is so scary. And I am wondering whether every time I make a mistake I am setting myself WAY back and have damaged my intestines again and caused inflamation and am back to square one?

Do you go back to square one each time you make a mistake???

Klauren: That's what I worry about too. I've been gluten-free for exactly 70 days now.. YAY! But, after the lunch episode today, which TOTALLY gave me stomach pain and cramps and other yucky things, I get all neurotic about that too, like, OMGZ, now I'm back at square one. These past two or so months are all down the drain. But, I think the truth is that it takes a while for our intestinal vili to get so damaged by gluten that one little isolated instance shouldn't completely set us back. Yeah, it's not going to make anything better and will leave us in pain. But I just mean that I think the intestinal vili get destroyed over a longer length of time and that doesn't include one meal. You know what I mean?

I could TOTALLY be wrong, but from the reading and research I've done, that's the conclusion I would come to.

Does anyone else have any thoughts on set-back damage?

[mushroom]

Klauren: But, I think the truth is that it takes a while for our intestinal vili to get so damaged by gluten that one little isolated instance shouldn't completely set us back. Yeah, it's not going to make anything better and will leave us in pain. But I just mean that I think the intestinal vili get destroyed over a longer length of time and that doesn't include one meal. You know what I mean?

I could TOTALLY be wrong, but from the reading and research I've done, that's the conclusion I would come to.

Does anyone else have any thoughts on set-back damage?

I think you are spot on in your conclusion. While any glutening doesn't help, it doesn't set you back to square one. It just makes you more aware of how careful you are going to have to be. Sail on, no penalty!

[skymgirl]

I am so with you! I was just diagnosed 2 weeks ago and I am freaked out by eating out and JUST NOW I am sick. I think it is this: I was being smart and brought my own lactose free milk to a coffee shop in a thermos and paid them to just steam it for me. This is probably the stupidest thing this group has ever heard of, but it seemed like a good plan to me. Now an hour later I am in pain. I think the coffee shop must have steamed my milk and contaminated it while doing so. Rookie mistake I guess. I guess I can never get anything from the barista at a coffee shop again. I have been a Starbuck addict, but I guess you cannot trust anything they make behind the counter, huh?

Anyway, I agree with you this is so scary. And I am wondering whether every time I make a mistake I am setting myself WAY back and have damaged my intestines again and caused inflamation and am back to square one?

Do you go back to square one each time you make a mistake???

Kind of getting off the original topic here, but what about subbing soy milk in for regular milk, Klauren? I know they do use soy milk in drinks if you request it, so that should keep you lactose free and still let you enjoy Starbucks at the same time.

To the original topic, I'm a month gluten-free today, and thought I would celebrate with some fries. I had heard that McDonald's fries were gluten-free, but about an hour after I ate them I felt awful and was running into the bathroom. I did some research and saw on the McD's website that the fries contain wheat and dairy. (I'm off dairy as well.) Awesome...I felt like such an idiot, and I know I won't be going back there. I do feel scared around food, especially in situations where I'm not in control of it. (Catered lunch at work, or eating out.) I suppose you could say I'm neurotic about eating, too. I just figure it's a learning curve and am trying to accept there will be occasional set-backs I'll use as learning tools. (Like this afternoon!) Try to be gentle with yourself, I think it will get easier with time.

[JRock]

Skymgirl,

I went through the same thing with McD's fries - I had read their website months ago that they were gluten-free, but then checked it after getting sick, and yep, wheat and dairy - in fries!!! You have to check the websites/labels on foods consistently because something always changes.

On the "back to square one" thing - I decided one day after getting glutened that since I was already back to square one, I should enjoy some candy that I knew sometimes got CC'd in the factory. This was back when I was first diagnosed (Oct 08) - I was miserable and glutened for the 2nd time - hubby was furious. You can't think about it as back to square one - it's more like "hey, I learned something else today," and you stick to it and move on.

If they ever find a cure for this disease, I'll be on cloud 9 - I can go without gluten just fine - it's the CC and hidden sources that always get me.

Jen

[Welda Johnson]

Hi,

Here at this site, we UNDERSTAND. I can relate to the person who cried over a sandwich in front of 3000 people, since I, too, have sprinkled some of my foods with tears as I sat in a restaurant and realized the frustration of working so hard to find healthy foods.

But today, after many years of being on this diet, I realized something important. My family and I went to a pancake restaurant after church, because that's what they usually do, and I had been invited along as a guest. I have this strange thing about not wanting to steer people toward any certain restaurants, preferring instead to face the challenge of selecting from the menu wherever we end up, so, I gleefully looked at the menu, didn't want sausage or bacon since it wasn't yet noon, and spied orange juice, which sounded so good. It was hand-squeezed, cold and luscious, and I said to my family as they partook of the pancakes and I drank my juice, "It's become all about the company, not the food!" I really meant that. It felt so good to feel that way.

I now have a couple of restaurants that I can safely frequent, and since I usually prefer to eat at home, since as you said, you know what is in the food, I feel I have the best of both worlds. I'm learning to take good care of myself, and that feels good. I wish you all the best as we travel this road together. Welda