"you Might Be A Celiac If....."

[yllehs91]

hehe! these are so hilarious! i couldn't stop laughing! I can't wait til they're on clothing

You might be a celiac if...

You've memorized the "safe" and "forbidden" ingredients lists on this website.

You cry anytime you hear the fries in a restaurant are fried with the chicken tenders.

You are usually the one doing the cooking for any family event.

You are the only one who doesn't forget you have celiac disease. (my family 4gets sometimes, and i sit there with a certain look on my face like "HELLO!?! Think again..")

You loved the list and couldn't stop laughing at it.

You're going to print the list and show it to everyone you know just to see how many will act like they understand it.

You've memorized the health food stores phone numbers in the surrounding cities.

can't wait to see how many more are posted on here. I love them! they're all so great. thanks everyone for making my day!!! the homework i've been doing has really sucked, so this was a nice break! gotta get back to it--

Love,

*~!~*ME*~!~*

Shelly--Wayyy South TX--13/f. Diagnosed 9/27/04

[tarnalberry]

oh the red pepper soup! I had that stuff shortly before I found out I'm casein intolerant, dang it. And no more good cheese either. :-( (Yeah, I know about the casein free stuf... it ain't the same. :-( )

[yllehs91]

You might be a celiac if...

Most of your e-mails are restaurant or company replies. Over 1/2 my inbox are from restaurants and companies and everything else dealing with celiac disease.

[Canadian Karen]

You might be celiac if:

You have had to explain the difference between gluten and glutton several times....

I have been asked more than once how my glutton diet is going..... lol!

What, me? a pig? *snort*

Karen

[Guest ~wAvE WeT sAnD~]

Ugh! That's terrible!

Well, the diet does make you a glutton...when something tastes good, YOU MUST EAT IT!!!

[celiac3270]

All great additions.

Shelly, I have a similar issue with e-mails. I get about 70 daily, and only about 6 of them are specifically to me--the rest are from various celiac lists......

Jill, I love cheese, also!

(only applicable if you live in an area with many healthfood store around).....if you have memorized the prices at each store and therefore, know where you can get Tinkyada pasta and Kinnikinick bread cheaper

[uclangel422]

you might be Celiac if...

nobody will watch the Food Network with you anymore because you spend the entire show saying "well i cant eat that" or "that would kill me"

[celiac3270]

I never used to watch the Food Network but since going gluten-free, I watch it all the time.... Unwrapped, the Secret Life of... most of the ones that don't involve cooking . It's probably the vicarious thrill...though I make the occasional comment about how a certain product would destroy my intestines or "That's a gluten-free product!"

[yllehs91]

haha! My sisters think I'm sooo lame for watchin the food network- but i wanna be a gluten-free chef, and I love the food network (especially Iron Chef America). I thought I was the only one who watched the food network! that makes me feel so great!

You might be a celiac if the main fast food restaurant you eat at is McDonalds.

You might be a celiac if the only place you eat at is McDonalds.

Ha...the main fast food place I eat at is McDonalds bcuz there's more of a choice there--but I don't like eating fast food that much.

*shelly*

[Canadian Karen]

What a bunch of masochists we have in this forum. What torture, watching someone make some delicious food that 9 times out of 10, you can't have!!!!

Karen

[mytummyhurts]

You might be a celiac if the only place you eat at is McDonalds.

Yeah, that's the only fast food place I eat at anymore too. I haven't learned what I can and can't eat anywhere else.

My friend asked me how my glutton free diet was going! Now that's all we call it, as a joke.

[celiac3270]

Updated April 26.

You might be celiac if...

1. The centerpiece on your dining room table is a bread machine.

2. Your bread looks like a moon rock and tastes like dried out Play Doh.

3. Your bread weighs more than any moon rock could possibly weigh.

4. The only way you will eat your bread is toasted.

5. You've paid over $5 for a loaf of bread.

6. You make your own pizza

7. You visit a health food store at least twice a week.

8. You buy most of your food on the Internet.

9. One of your primary goals in life is to create "Fake Oreo Cookies" (and/or Cheerios)

10. There are Garage Sale stickers on all your kitchen food containers.

11. You have argued about and read articles about distilled vinegar and oats.

12. You've disinherited loved ones for putting their knife in your mayo.

13. You've ever been caught licking a discarded Twinkie wrapper.

14. At Christmas, visions of guar gum dance in your head.

15. You are a strictly brand name shopper

16. You've ever had to give a doctor a crash course in Celiac 101.

17. You weep at picnics, parties, receptions and fast food joints.

18. You weep at breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

19. You've ever "brown bagged it" to an elegant dinner party.

20. You have written "contaminated" on jars of peanut butter.

21. You have become friends with the customer service representatives at every company.

22. The customer service representatives at every company recognize your voice.

23. You know the difference between an allergy and an intolerance...and you care.

24. You have two of everything in your kitchen (pots, pans, wooden spoons, etc.).

25. You are afraid of spices and in restaurants, ask for your food "naked."

26. You are afraid of and have nightmares about bagels, pizza, and cake.

27. You make many phone calls from the supermarket.

28. You know what disodium phosphate, tartaric acid, and quinoa are...and care.

29. You know who Danna Korn, Peter Green, and Anne Lee are.

30. You bring many, many lists with you to the supermarket.

31. The first thing you do, upon reaching an unfamiliar location, is pinpoint the location of the nearest bathroom.

32. You have ever tried to explain to a waiter that "it is necessary to use clean pans for you food" and he stares back at you in disbelief.

33. You ordered a salad with no croutons and the entire time its being made you wish you could go back to the kitchen and watch them prepapre it but were afraid to ask.

34. You have taken a poop at all of your friends and relatives houses, even if you just met them...

35. You have explained to people the difference/similarities between Modified Food Starch and Modified Corn Starch at least 50 times (or you know what disodium phosphate is -- celiac3270)

36. You ask Asian restaurants if they have baked or mashed potatoes

37. You ask every restaurant if they have baked/mashed potatoes

38. You've kissed someone who just drank beer and wonder if you will get sick

39. You've kissed someone who just drank a beer and you really wanted their beer instead of your vodka/tonic, wine, spritzer, ......

40. You've responded to someone's post on a website about bowel problems and were brutally honest about your own "issues with bowels"

41. You read this post and laughed because you've "been there"

42. People think you're on the Atkins diet

43. You've asked for a bunless burger...and been looked at as if you have three heads.

44. You've asked about the ingredients of shampoo

45. You post on this board...that's not funny, though

46. You've washed your telephone after your child/spouse has answered it while eating.

47. You've checked all cups in a coffee shop for crumb residue.

48. You can say Kinnikinnick 10 times fast without making a mistake

49. With just one quick whiff, you can pinpoint the brand name and fragrance of every air freshener on the market!

50. You have had to leave the room because someone else was eating Pizza Hut's breadsticks and they smelled TOOOOOOO good!

51. Someone else complains of IBS, and you tell them to quit eating gluten!

52. Or you know someone that was dx with diverticulitis and you tell them to stop eating gluten!!!

53. You don't know what a "normal" bowel movement is.

54. You thought of (or started) a topic called "you might be a celiac if...."

55. Eating out is a "death sentence" not an enjoyable event!

56. All you eat at the church pot luck dinner is jello

57. Your tears compete with your drool when you pass a Krispy Kreme!!!

58. Carry some type of medication with 24/7 (ie Immodium)

59. At least once a day smile and say, "Sorry, I can't have that"

60. Have been lectured on your crazy dieting and told to just forget about your weight

61. Have survived for some period of time solely on rice or peanut butter

62. Physically flinch at the feel of bread or similar product

63. Feel nauseous at the sight of some gluten filled food

64. Have mastered the art of passing gas in public

65. You read this list to your SO (who doesn't have celiac) and they laughed right along with you.

66. You have ever thought you might explode from holding in a fart too long while in public

67. You have ever had nightmares about being trapped in the bread aisle in the grocery store

68. You have ever had a meltdown from actually BEING trapped in the bread aisle in the grocery store.

69. You call a dream about eating pizza and chocolate cake a NIGHTMARE!!

70. You read a topic called Cheating and you just KNOW it's not about her husband and her best friend!!

71. Your answer to this joke: "Why did the lion spit out the clown?" is something like... "Because the lion had celiac and as his fangs began to clench down he saw out of the corner of his eye that the clown's hand was holding a slice of pizza ?" When the real answer is: "Because the clown tasted funny!"

72. You pay $1.59 for a 12 oz bottle of rootbeer!

73. You

[celiac3270]

What a bunch of masochists we have in this forum. What torture, watching someone make some delicious food that 9 times out of 10, you can't have!!!! 

Karen

LOL, Karen ... but you still get the excitement from watching it...and the best part is, those who are watching the show with you can't eat the food you're viewing, since it's on TV and not in a restaurant or something...

Note: I do not recommend subjecting yourself to this if you are new to the diet or still in the mourning phase.

[Guest ~wAvE WeT sAnD~]

I just think to myself, "wow...I'm going to change that recipe (the flour)"

[yllehs91]

You might be a celiac if you...

Know what xanthan gum is, and how to pronounce it.

Hehe my friend wants to make me a gluten-free pizza for my bday, and she found a recipe. At skool she was reading it, looked at me funny and said "What's ex-an-an-thum" gum? hahaha. so much fun!

[celiac3270]

Ha! I'd recommend the Chebe mix...it's the best I've tried so far and the floury stuff is already pre-made so you don't need to worry about finding your rice flour and potato starch and xanthan gum

[stef-the-kicking-cuty]

You might be a celiac, if you think of paradise as a glutenfree world instead of a place where angels fly around.

I hope I said that right . You might know, what I mean.

[ianm]

I'll take the gluten free world over the place with angels anyday because it might not be gluten free there.

[Rikki Tikki]

Those are pretty funny!

[Guest ~wAvE WeT sAnD~]

You might be a Celiac if you want to kill the people who ask you if you want bread or pasta---and these same people who ALREADY KNOW THAT YOU HAVE celiac disease.

You might be a Celiac if you propose to open a Celiacs Only restaurant for your Business and Technical Writing paper.

You might be a Celiac if you hate the fact that no one can learn the hidden ingredients on your list---especially if they're FOOD SERVICE WORKERS.

You might be a Celiac if you feel as if Beef and Cheese sticks are to you what pizza logs are to everyone else--a meal.

[mommida]

You might be Celiac if..

You know who Bette Hagman, the Gluten free gourmet, and Connie Sarros, the Gluten Free Guru are and care.

You might be a member of the gluten free forum if you want celiac3270 and Kaiti to run for president of the U.S.A.

L.

[celiac3270]

You might be a member of the gluten free forum if you want celiac3270 and Kaiti to run for president of the U.S.A.

L.

Awww, thank you! I'm 21 years to young, though.

celiac3270/Kaiti 2028... ha...no discprepancy over what party, anyway

[Canadian Karen]

Hey, if I lived in the States, you would get my vote!!!

Karen

[KaitiUSA]

You might be Celiac if..

You know who Bette Hagman, the Gluten free gourmet, and Connie Sarros, the Gluten Free Guru are and care.

You might be a member of the gluten free forum if you want celiac3270 and Kaiti to run for president of the U.S.A.

L.

haha

Thanx

I'm too young too...darn...that would be fun too

celiac3270...yep at least we agree on the same party

[Canadian Karen]

You might be Celiac if:

When you are reading other forums, when you see DH, your first thought is not "Dear Husband" but "Dermatitis Herptiformus"......

Karen