Two Months Trying And Still No Baby...

[Becci]

I am going nuts here. We have been trying for two months and still no baby. I am a healthy weight, on prenatals, taking folic acid and even had a positive fertility test...

Grrrr! Just needed to vent.

[tarnalberry]

Even if everything is great, there is only a 25% chance of getting pregnant every month IF you have sex within the three to four days before you ovulate. Are you charting? Do you know when you ovulate?

[jny1179]

I'm sorry to hear it, unfortunately it could take even a lot longer, but keep the faith, it will happen!!

[lovegrov]

Two months really isn't all that long. It took six months for our first child. Meanwhile, we had a lot of fun "practicing."

richard

[CLockworkAnge]

Stress can cause your body to flood itself with chemicals and hormones that will make it harder to get pregnant... so as hard as it is- you have to try and not think negatively about not getting pregnant right away. I know, easier said than done. What makes us stress the most is not having complete control over this situation- especially when you want that baby so badly... it's a very emotional process. Try a few things to help yourself feel more in control. First- have you tried any over-the-counter ovulation tests? The kind you pee on, that is... they can be very helpful with finding the days that you are most likely to conceive. ONce you know the 1-2 days they you are most likely to, try to keep a few things in mind (ok, people, this might be TMI for those of you not trying to get pregnant, you can stop reading now... hahaha) The best position for the female to be in is the old-fashion one- the missionary. Flat on your back. Once he finishes, don't move for an hour. I know that might sound crazy, but gravity plays an important role at this point. In fact, putting a pillow under your butt to keep your pelvis above your belly will help "it" to move it's way where it needs to... and on that note, if you aren't familiar with Kegel excersizes, go google it and try it out... that helps everything out a lot as well.

Good luck!!

[NicoleAJ]

I am going nuts here. We have been trying for two months and still no baby. I am a healthy weight, on prenatals, taking folic acid and even had a positive fertility test...

You might want to try Pre-seed. It's a lubricant that does not kill the sperm (unlike all the kinds of lube you get at the pharmacy). We used it and got pregnant in our first month of trying (after charting and preventing pregnancy for 11 months). I'm 20 weeks pregnant now. I've had plenty of friends who have done everything right and who have taken 8 months or more to conceive. Try not to get frustrated, and don't obsess about it in the two weeks after ovulation since the pregnancy tests won't be positive until then. I didn't get my positive pregnancy test until 14 days past ovulation. Good luck!

[katinagj]

I know it seems like you should get pregnant right away, especially after spending years trying NOT to get pregnant. And I know how frustrating it can be! We started trying in February of last year. I got pregnant after trying for 7 months, had a early miscarriage and got pregnant again immediately the next month(by total accident) and had another miscarriage. Though I just figured out I may have celiac disease or at least a gluten intolerance which probably caused my miscarriages since I used to eat gluten on a regular basis especially when I was pregnant. I think that some people are more likely to get pregnant at certain times of the year also. Plus if you were taking any birth control they say the average is 3-6 months trying. If you havent heard of justmommies.com go there. There is a trying to concieve forum that I am on regularly. The women are really helpful and some of them REALLY know their stuff! You can find all sorts of resources for finding ways to improve your chances. I also recommend preseed. While I didn't get pregnant on it, some of us need something like that(especially if you tend to be dry) it makes for a friendlier environment for sperm. Avoid using other lubes completely as they will actually kill off sperm.

[zkat]

I second the Justmommies.com forums - the nicest group of ladies on any TTC forum. I also agree that patience is key - depending on age, genetic factors, timing and just plain luck, it is not as easy to get pregnant as we always believed it to be. I read somewhere that the average is 6-8 months after coming off hormone forms of birth control.

Kat.

[Becci]

Yeah, it has now been 4+ months with no baby. I was watching Father of the Bride: Part II earlier and just broke down. I mean, heck, if a 50+ year old woman can do it with one try, why not me?

My husband is significantly older than I am, but has 3 kids already. He was not looking to have another baby, but because of me and my Celiac, he agreed to have one. He didn't want me to lose my chance.

I took a fertility test the first few days after we decided to try (3 days after my period started, like it said) and it was positive.

I am just going nuts, I want a baby more than anything (except my husband, food and air) and I can't deal with the stress of "what if the Celiac got to me first? What if I can't have a baby now? What if... what if... what if???"

Ugh - had to vent.

One other question: Since we started trying, my periods have been coming later and later. Each month it is later by two or three weeks... Why is it doing that? Even now four+ months since quitting the B.C? We aren't using any sort of protection, and not even drinking like we used to because we heard it can cause temporary infertility... What are we doing wrong?

[tarnalberry]

Are you charting? Do you know when you're ovulating and are having sex the three days leading up to and including ovulation?

[ravenwoodglass]

Yeah, it has now been 4+ months with no baby. I was watching Father of the Bride: Part II earlier and just broke down. I mean, heck, if a 50+ year old woman can do it with one try, why not me?

My husband is significantly older than I am, but has 3 kids already. He was not looking to have another baby, but because of me and my Celiac, he agreed to have one. He didn't want me to lose my chance.

I took a fertility test the first few days after we decided to try (3 days after my period started, like it said) and it was positive.

I am just going nuts, I want a baby more than anything (except my husband, food and air) and I can't deal with the stress of "what if the Celiac got to me first? What if I can't have a baby now? What if... what if... what if???"

Ugh - had to vent.

One other question: Since we started trying, my periods have been coming later and later. Each month it is later by two or three weeks... Why is it doing that? Even now four+ months since quitting the B.C? We aren't using any sort of protection, and not even drinking like we used to because we heard it can cause temporary infertility... What are we doing wrong?

The reason your period is showing later is likely because you are so stressed out about getting pregnant. I know how hard it is to be patient, it took me 10 years of trying before I finally had my first but I was on gluten for all those years.

If you are still gettting your period then celiac has not cut your chances of concieving. Celiac can give us an early menopause but that has not happened to you since you are still getting your period.

I don't know what form of birth control you were using but if you were on the pill it can take up to a year to get preggers after you stop it.

As hard as it is try to relax and not think about it. It will happen but it will happen sooner if you are not stressing out about it.

If after you have been trying for a year you still have not succeeded then do talk to your OB/GYN about it, or sooner if it is really troubling to you.

[Becci]

I decided this month I am going to start with the ovulation tests... Because of my strange periods, I don't know when I am ovulating anymore. So, I am going to start doing ov tests.

Thanks all! <3

[tarnalberry]

If you have any sort of a regular wake up time, I would encourage you trying FAM. The reason I'd suggest that over (or in addition to) a ovulation test kit. I say this for two reasons. First, you get a better idea what's going on with your cycle - perhaps you have a short luteal phase and you are having sex at the right time, but a too-short luteal phase will prevent implantation, or perhaps you have a pattern that shows repeated "attempts" at ovulation (the LH surges that the tests can tell you about), without ovulation actually occurring (which the test can't tell you about, particularly if it tells you not to test after an LH surge occurs!), or many other possibilities. This information can be useful if you at some point decide you need to talk to a fertility specialist, and having a few months of data already gathered saves a lot of time. Second, you may get more useful information on how long your fertile cycle lasts (if you're also recording cervical fluid) and can better time when you have sex with ovulation.

Don't get me wrong - test kits are lovely - but they only show you a little piece of the puzzle.

[NicoleAJ]

If you have any sort of a regular wake up time, I would encourage you trying FAM. The reason I'd suggest that over (or in addition to) a ovulation test kit. I say this for two reasons. First, you get a better idea what's going on with your cycle - perhaps you have a short luteal phase and you are having sex at the right time, but a too-short luteal phase will prevent implantation, or perhaps you have a pattern that shows repeated "attempts" at ovulation (the LH surges that the tests can tell you about), without ovulation actually occurring (which the test can't tell you about, particularly if it tells you not to test after an LH surge occurs!), or many other possibilities. This information can be useful if you at some point decide you need to talk to a fertility specialist, and having a few months of data already gathered saves a lot of time. Second, you may get more useful information on how long your fertile cycle lasts (if you're also recording cervical fluid) and can better time when you have sex with ovulation.

Don't get me wrong - test kits are lovely - but they only show you a little piece of the puzzle.

I would second tarnalberry's endorsement of FAM. I was having cycles that would last between 40-55 days, oligo-ovulation, and my doctor basically told me that ovulation kits would be expensive and pretty much useless for such long cycles because I'd never know when to use them or would spend a small fortune on them without getting a lot of info. I used FAM to prevent pregnancy for 11 months and then when we were ready to try, we got got pregnant the first month because we understood my cycle.

[Becci]

I must be an idiot... What is FAM?

[tarnalberry]

I must be an idiot... What is FAM?

Heh, no dumb question, that. FAM stands for Fertility Awareness Method. (/rant on - When used for contraception this is NOT the rhythm method. it's absolutely nothing like it. The rhythm method is basically taking a wild, shot-in-the-dark guess at doing FAM without any data to support the implementation. /rant off)

I would HIGHLY recommend that you get, and fully read, the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" (particularly one of the newer versions) to get an idea how to use it. If it's still confusing, there are classes you can take to have someone work with you on learning it. (I don't think it's difficult enough to require a class, but everyone's different. Many classes will actually be offered at churches, particularly Catholic churches, as one implementation of it is, to my knowledge, the only approved family planning method in the Catholic church.)

Basically, it's the process of checking your basal body temperature (resting temperature immediately upon waking, at the same time every day, before moving around, with a basal body temp thermometer) every day and charting this. Due to the increases in various hormones, basal body temperature spikes (by a very small amount - maybe half a degree in some women) immediately preceding ovulation (within 24 hours) and will remain elevated until the hormone changes bring on menstruation. This means that, with temperatures alone, you can determine when you are ovulating (or, if your temperature spikes, but comes back down, that you're not actually ovulating). Since you are fertile in the 24-48hour window around the temperature spike, it tells you when to have sex.

But sperm can live in the uterus for longer than that, in favorable conditions, so most FAM practitioners use cervical fluid changes as well. This is another change that is driven by hormone changes, and in the few days before ovulation, cervical fluid changes from being very scant through a series of changes to being more like raw egg whites. That particular stretchy, fluid cervical fluid can provide an environment that lets sperm survive for up to five days, increasing the window of time, particularly prior to ovulation, that you can try for a baby. It's worth noting that some FAM practitioners also record cervical position/consistency, as hormone changes that lead to ovulation cause the cervix to lower and very slightly open (nothing like dilation during labor), and can give additional clues to your fertile time.

The method isn't for everyone - you need to be dedicated and responsible. But it can give you a lot of information about what's going on with your body.