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I Wasn't Sure What To Say...


shepgs

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shepgs Apprentice

I was talking with my sweet SIL to tell her that we wouldn't be traveling to her house for Easter this year. I felt our gluten-free status was too new and we needed to have that under our belt before we attempt a large gathering like that. She understood and proceeded to tell me about a lady she'd met.

This lady told of her numerous food allergies, barely able to eat anything. Then she had acupunture and now she can eat anything she wants! SIL thought of us since we deal with so much. I was chuckling inside but didn't know how to respond. I just said, "That's great." She really was trying to be helpful, but I know people who don't deal with these issues really don't understand. I came to accept that years ago in dealing with my son's IgE nut allergies - you know, the ones that can kill within minutes.

Anyway, it did make me feel a little like I was overreacting with my strict gluten free rules for the family. Ah, well, just needed to throw that out there, knowing you all would understand!


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newgfcali Rookie

No, you're not overreacting. You're keeping your family safe and healthy. :)

Since it's your sister-in-law and this will surely come up again in the future, maybe you could give her the cliff's notes version of what gluten intolerance is all about and the potential for severe neurological issues it holds for DQ1 families like yours.

bridgetm Enthusiast

I've been getting that from friends lately. When I sit down with a plate full of fruit and veggies and some rice or mashed potatoes, someone will say, "Oh you eat so healthy! Why are you eating that?" When I say that I don't have much of a choice, they start an inventory of all the food on the table; "Can't you eat this wrap? That ice cream? Cereal? Stew?" When I continue to shake my head they apologize with "I was just trying to be helpful. There must be something here you can eat." "Um, yes my friend, it's on my plate and, no, I don't want just one bite of your brownie."

Nor-TX Enthusiast

Hmmm... last week at our staff meeting, I was munching my glutino pretzels with almond butter and someone at my table had taken the most delicious looking and smelling brownies and started waving them under my nose and telling me how yummy and chocolaty they were and blew in my direction so I could smell them on her breath. I held in the tears and told her, no thanks I would rather have my treat and feel good. Everyone at the table laughed.

*sigh*. I can't tell you how many times food has been brought into school by staff and parents and I find a plate on my desk with cookies, cakes, wraps, pizza squares, etc. I just cover the plate with a napkin and when no one is looking I throw it out.

I never realized that the people I work with 8 hours everyday could be the cruelest and rudest.

Stylo Rookie

It seems like some people can be really horrible about this, I didn't think people were that cruel or rude!

If it turns out I need to change my diet, I expect my family to be accepting and understanding as my mom is a diabetic and they always work around her diet and eating times.

One of my friends is diagnosed with Celiac, and I never thought that asking him what he can and cannot eat could be considered rude. Truth is he's pretty scatter brained and has to ask his girlfriend what he can and can't eat at times. All our friends are very accomodating with making food he can eat as well though.

That definately is an awkward situation with your SIL. Maybe say to her "If acupuncture could cure allergies as serious as these (ie nut or gluten), then no one would have them anymore. Unfortunately there is no "cure" at this time"

I think that way it doesn't sound like your putting her idea down, just using common logic as to why it wouldn't work. Well, that's the way I'd say it at least :)

tictax707 Apprentice

I'm with Stylo on Nor-TX's experience. Shocked that people can be so cruel! I don't think asking questions about the can and can't have of celiac sprue is too rude, but the waving the brownie around is just horrid. HORRID! As for the original post, I think that

saying something along the lines of "celiac sprue is more compicated than the typical allergy, and acupuncture can't cure it. Unfortunately nothing can, at the moment." Best of luck!

jackay Enthusiast

I must say I have been very fortunate with family and friends accepting my gluten intolerance. Most are very interested in learning more about it. Although I have one friend who thinks I should be able to have a small amount of gluten because she is diabetic and can have a small amount of sugar. You just can't compare one to the other. Also, if she eats too many carbs, she just exercises more.

Two SILs contacted me ahead of holiday meals to see if there were certain things I could eat. At this point, I will only eat foods cooked by myself with my own cookware. They seemed to understand. One SIL even offered to shop for me before she came from Milwaukee as they have a gluten free store there. That really touched me.

If someone waved a brownie under my nose, I'd be furious! With friend or family, I would have walked out. With a job, you just can't do it. No one should be teased because they aren't the same and can't eat the same things. If we were all the same, this would be a very boring world.


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Jencat Rookie

Wow, I can so relate to this topic. I have had so many people give me their "cure recipes" to my celiac that it's something I just try to politely brush off. From my own mother telling me It was impossible to have such a condition, she believed I would die without gluten, didn't I need such foods to survive? But now she's kind of a believer-has her days-. People have even told me to pass as much gas as possible,that is what I need to do, and then I will be cured.UHH-Sigh- Why me. So I have had it hard. My DM has even put a piece of garlic bread on my gluten-free pasta and said it's only one piece, their I sit and eat my crumb filled pasta(not the bread) knowing that soon I will be sick and in pain. -Jenny

i-geek Rookie

My DM has even put a piece of garlic bread on my gluten-free pasta and said it's only one piece, their I sit and eat my crumb filled pasta(not the bread) knowing that soon I will be sick and in pain. -Jenny

You know, if someone did that to me on purpose, I think I'd empty the salt or pepper shaker onto their food. If they've deliberately made it so that I can't eat my food, then they don't get to eat theirs, either. Yes, it's probably immature, but it would get the point across.

kareng Grand Master

Hmmm... last week at our staff meeting, I was munching my glutino pretzels with almond butter and someone at my table had taken the most delicious looking and smelling brownies and started waving them under my nose and telling me how yummy and chocolaty they were and blew in my direction so I could smell them on her breath. I held in the tears and told her, no thanks I would rather have my treat and feel good. Everyone at the table laughed.

Next time cough or sneeze on the food under your nose.

Wow, I can so relate to this topic. I have had so many people give me their "cure recipes" to my celiac that it's something I just try to politely brush off. From my own mother telling me It was impossible to have such a condition, she believed I would die without gluten, didn't I need such foods to survive? But now she's kind of a believer-has her days-. People have even told me to pass as much gas as possible,that is what I need to do, and then I will be cured.UHH-Sigh- Why me. So I have had it hard. My DM has even put a piece of garlic bread on my gluten-free pasta and said it's only one piece, their I sit and eat my crumb filled pasta(not the bread) knowing that soon I will be sick and in pain. -Jenny

I would not have eaten it. I would have left the table & the house. Some people are mean & if it wasn't this she would find something else. Sometimes we need to keep our distance from toxic people, even our parents. Please remember this if you are ever tempted to leave small children with her.

tarnalberry Community Regular

My DM has even put a piece of garlic bread on my gluten-free pasta and said it's only one piece, their I sit and eat my crumb filled pasta(not the bread) knowing that soon I will be sick and in pain. -Jenny

Don't do it. Yeah, you go hungry (and I say this as a hypoglycemic who feels like S#@! when she's hungry and can't get food). But it's better to not get sick, and not show the person that you don't immediately pass out or die upon ingesting glutened food.

ravenwoodglass Mentor

My DM has even put a piece of garlic bread on my gluten-free pasta and said it's only one piece, their I sit and eat my crumb filled pasta(not the bread) knowing that soon I will be sick and in pain. -Jenny

I am totally overwhelmed that someone would do this. Do you have a cat? If you do the next time this is done to you go to the litter box and take out a nice piece of 'used litter' and plop it down on their plate. When they freak out tell them they can just take it off and then eat. The little bit of litter won't hurt them.

Do NOT eat the pasta after it has been filled with crumbs, in fact I wouldn't touch any food in that persons house ever again. If I had to eat there I would bring my own plate of safe food and quard it till it was meal time.

Reba32 Rookie

What she said!

Holy carp, talk about Mommie Dearest! :blink:

You can live quite happily and healthily without gluten. And, from my own persoal experience, you can also live quite happily without your toxic parent!

psawyer Proficient

Arrrrrggh!

You can choose your friends, but you're stuck with your $#@%$*! relatives.

I like the cat litter idea. It reminds me of a story a young member here told a while back about teaching her school friends a lesson about "picking it off and eating." They (her friends) had, once again, got a pizza to share, and told her to just pick off the toppings. She put some rat poison on the pizza, and suggested that they just pick off the powder and eat anyway. It was the last time she had a problem. A ruined pizza, but a lesson well learned.

Aside: Kaiti, we miss you. ;)

David in Seattle Explorer

This lady told of her numerous food allergies, barely able to eat anything. Then she had acupunture and now she can eat anything she wants!

Not sure where it was, but I recently read someone saying their chiropractor was claiming they could cure this person of Celiac. The nonsense people will believe. :rolleyes:

jackay Enthusiast

Not sure where it was, but I recently read someone saying their chiropractor was claiming they could cure this person of Celiac. The nonsense people will believe. :rolleyes:

I saw a chiropractor last spring that was pretty sure she could cure anyone of almost anything. Although she couldn't guarantee that. I'm guessing it was her way to make money.

The naturopath I saw really felt I could overcome my gluten intolerance through the right nutrients. I always showed her the test results from my doctor and she didn't feel they were accurate.

I sure wasted lots of money. I worked with the naturopath six months but only saw the chiropracto one time.

sandsurfgirl Collaborator

I am totally overwhelmed that someone would do this. Do you have a cat? If you do the next time this is done to you go to the litter box and take out a nice piece of 'used litter' and plop it down on their plate. When they freak out tell them they can just take it off and then eat. The little bit of litter won't hurt them.

Do NOT eat the pasta after it has been filled with crumbs, in fact I wouldn't touch any food in that persons house ever again. If I had to eat there I would bring my own plate of safe food and quard it till it was meal time.

I was trying to think of what to say and this gem is so perfect I can't compliment it by anything I would write. That is a GREAT idea! :lol::lol::lol: Shock the crap out of them.

I must say that I am getting acupuncture and it does help. But the SIL was wrong. It won't cure. My acupuncturist told me he can't cure me. He said he can make me strong so that accidental glutenings won't hurt me so badly, but he can't cure me. I will have to be gluten free forever. I was seeing him before my diagnosis for my thyroid.

Hypothyroid can be cured by acupuncture. My own MD has been cured of it, which is unheard of but she is off thyroid meds and she was the one who referred me to the acupuncturist. He has a ton of testimonies in his office of people getting off thyroid meds.

But celiac, nope. We're stuck with it.

David in Seattle Explorer

I saw a chiropractor last spring that was pretty sure she could cure anyone of almost anything. Although she couldn't guarantee that. I'm guessing it was her way to make money.

The naturopath I saw really felt I could overcome my gluten intolerance through the right nutrients. I always showed her the test results from my doctor and she didn't feel they were accurate.

I sure wasted lots of money. I worked with the naturopath six months but only saw the chiropracto one time.

As long as people have been sick, there have been frauds, quacks, and charlatans eager to prey upon their misery. Of course, what this great market for rubbish speaks to most is the huge population of sufferers who "traditional medicine" has failed. Who would be spending time and money going from homeopath, to naturopath, to chiropractor, to acupuncturist, etc., if their "regular" doctor, to whom they almost certainly appealed 1st, had been able to end their troubles?

shepgs Apprentice

Wow, I am appalled at some of the treatment some of you all have received. I can't imagine why some people feel the need to be so mean. :huh:

I just wonder about this lady who talked to my SIL and about the possible damage she may be doing to her body without her knowing it's going on. Just because she may be feeling better doesn't mean that food isn't damaging her. Of course, I don't know that she was talking specifically about gluten. It's just that my SIL made the leap and is probably thinking that we could do that and then not have to mess with all this diet restriction, like we aren't doing all we could. Fortunately, I found out that I have two more SIL's (her sisters) who are also gluten-free.

I am one to think that "alternative" medicine can be beneficial for certain situations, but not to cure certain other things. I won't fall for this in my gluten-free journey, just like I won't for my son's allergies, either.

sandsurfgirl Collaborator

As long as people have been sick, there have been frauds, quacks, and charlatans eager to prey upon their misery. Of course, what this great market for rubbish speaks to most is the huge population of sufferers who "traditional medicine" has failed. Who would be spending time and money going from homeopath, to naturopath, to chiropractor, to acupuncturist, etc., if their "regular" doctor, to whom they almost certainly appealed 1st, had been able to end their troubles?

The chiropractors, etc. shoot themselves in the foot by saying stupid things like that. They ARE doctors, but of their brand of medicine. I swear by my chiropractor. I only see her about once a month or less and she fixes me up beautifully. My bones and muscles. That's it. When they step out of their realm of expertise or think they are gods, that's scary, and they ruin it for everybody.

I know exactly what I will and will not get from my chiro and acupuncturist. They don't promise me the moon. They do what they can in the circumstances. There is no miracle cure, whether it's medications, diets, treatments, herbs etc. For any illness.

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