Somebody Stop Me...

[RideAllWays]

I really want to eat a gluten product. I have been doubting my diagnosis for a while..and I can never tell if when I am sick it is because of gluten or not. I keep a food diary and eat pretty basic foods, and I can never track a reaction back to anything that should bother me. I live in a gluten free house. I rarely eat out, and only at one place that has a gluten free menu and is very careful about CC.

So I've been contemplating for the last couple months eating a McChicken (I don't know why, i never used to eat McDs before but now I just crave one so bad)

I just want to see what happens..if there is no reaction then I don't know what I would do...I don't think I could go through a gluten challenge and do another endoscopy...And I want to feel a REAL glutening so that I know what my symptoms actually are..do you think it is worth it?

[missy'smom]

Maybe testing for food allergies and intolerances would give you some direction if you haven't already done it. It was very helpful for me. I had done a little previously but it didn't help so I found someone new who I could be on the same page with and got re-tested and wow, it was eye opening. I had SUCH a noticable change when I eliminated ALL the things that I tested positive to.

Find another way to direct your emotions and frustration-head out the door and take a walk every time you feel like caving. I have kept a bottle of mineral water on the counter and had a drink everytime I feel anxiety, or wanting to reach for something else that I shouldn't-keeps me well hydrated! And that puts my body in better balance then I really do feel better.

Putting poison in our bodies really doesn't solve anything. You know that, we all do. I do too. I know it's hard. Some of us have to work SO hard to maintain such delicate balances in our bodies. I have diabetes and have been coping with various emotions lately by overconsuming carbs and alcohol which both do nasty things to me. Sometimes we need to make the effort to be extra good to ourselves-some non-food treat, something we really enjoy, extra effort with self care tasks-things we've been neglecting, litterally counting our blessings-writing them down or posting them somewhere. It's OK to have a good cry or vent your frustration too.

[MagpieWrites]

.do you think it is worth it?

For what it's worth? No. Not really.

But here's why.

At about the 4 month mark - I was sick. Really really sick. (Dying actually. Brown recluse spider bites gone septic, septicemia, SHINGLES, my third set of wisdom teeth had come in... and had been causing a blood infection no one had caught for months. Not a good scene, I think we can all accept that?) And following the gluten-free diet with all that - I just felt miserable ALL the time, so why not just say to heck with it and eat something I WANTED.

Much against my husband desire... I had him take me to Long John Silvers (yeah. I know. Of all the ways to blow off the diet - go to the restaurant that no one over 19 should attempt to eat sober, no one over 25 should eat without a hangover. To this day I can't figure out why I didn't get a slice of good pizza, or some lasagna. Nooooo, I had to go for Uber-crap.) where I ordered 3 chicken planks.

It IS possible to feel even sicker than all the above issues might cause. I ate one and a HALF of the suckers.

Nearly didn't make it to the bathroom (a fun concept in our new Jeep) and spent the next WEEK wishing, rather loudly, to die. With gluten, there is no back button. There is no "Hurry the crappy feeling away" pill. You just get to sit in your own misery for the duration... knowing you did it to yourself. Not fun. On any level. But hey... made me stop thinking about the shingles and the teeth for a day or so. Equally damnable, but different, I suppose.

Maybe you wouldn't have such a bad reaction. Or maybe it would be worse. No way to know... and the dice roll isn't worth it. Let my stupidity be enough of a reason?

And what if the result ISN'T something bad - if you have the diagnosis that you need to go gluten-free... this is a dangerous and slippery slope. How bad is bad enough? You don't actually have to FEEL your villa being destroyed, you know. If you don't wish for death with this time, be honest with yourself - is it going to make it harder to stick to being gluten-free? Is the "Well, just dinner out once in a while won't hurt" or "Ehhh.. one slice of pizza can't be too bad" going to start belling in the back of your brain? Stomach cancer in 10 years isn't worth it. Even just a vague sense of unwellness isn't worth it. I know it's hard... but really. You're gluten free and managing it. Don't toss yourself off the train for this.

(If you really really need fried chicken? marinate some pieces of cut up boneless skinless chicken breast in Italian salad dressing and then mix up equal parts cornstarch and sweet rice flour, along with some garlic powder and seasoning salt. Dip the marinated pieces into the flour mix - for REAL crunchy decadence, double dip. Go back into the italian salad dressing and again into the flour. - Fry until cooked through and crunchy. NOT healthy by any stretch of the imagination - but tastes almost just like KFC's popcorn chicken bites. When I can't resist the siren song of fast food... I make a batch of these.)

Hope this helps.

[K8ling]

mmm I am making that next. I use chickpea flour and red pepper and italian seasoning and it makes an amazing crunchy batter (we had it last night). My husband is going to wonder whats with all the chicken!

And Magpie is RIGHT there is no back button. There is no rewind or undo...and oh my goodness am I sure you would regret it anyway because come on...it's mcdonalds. Gross.

[eva-girl]

ride all ways -

don't take this the wrong way, and i only say it because i think you need to hear it: asking others whether you should eat a mc chicken or asking them to "stop you" from eating something is really infantile. you need to take responsibility for your health, nobody else. you will either choose to eat gluten or you will choose not to - only you can make that decision for yourself, because you are the one who has to live with the consequences. i hope whatever you decide works for you.

[RideAllWays]

Thanks guys.

I just wanted to know if anybody else out there doubted their diagnosis. Obviously if I had had a for sure "your villi are damaged" diagnosis I wouldn't be considering it. An allergy doctor "diagnosed" me, so I was gluten free for 6 months before my endoscopy. I was more wondering should I try it and see, because if I am going through all this for a disease I don't even have it would be very frustrating.

I'm really good at the diet and have never cheated once in the year I have been at it. It's more the fact that I am SO careful and I still feel like poop half the time that I'm doubting it. So yes, I do crave foods as I'm sure many of you do, and I have thought of trying it to see if I indeed react or not, knowing very well that I might be in Hell for a few days. So maybe I need a kick in the butt, I'm not just saying this for attention or whatever else people might say, I came here for support because I thought maybe some people would be in the same boat. I don't eat dairy or soy, limited corn, and very few processed foods. It is expensive and a hassle, so if I don't need to be doing all this I don't want to.

I'm sick of feeling like crap and not knowing why, sorry for the whining. I appreciate you reading my posts.

[ciavyn]

RideAllWays -- you are human. You are allowed to feel weakness. May I suggest a different view...

You are eating so much healthier than you would otherwise. I know it stinks, but it is how we probably should be eating 90% of the time. So if that means goofing around with some alternative flour sometimes and having some junk food, I say go for it! But I do understand your frustration. I have a list of foods I will eat if I ever do a gluten challenge...just you wait and see...but I don't look forward to the after effects, because I know how awful I feel when I get it accidentally.

We all feel that way -- I don't think you are lazy or anything else. Hang in there...

[eva-girl]

ride all ways -

if you are doubting your diagnosis and want to reintroduce a small amount of gluten to see what happens, by all means do so - that is part of the diet manipulation we all need to go through as part of our diagnosis. but from the tone and subject heading of your first post it sounds as if you are just craving the food, which is a different story. just make sure you are glutening yourself for the right reason and not because you crave mc donalds. believe me, i could gluten myself with a box of krispy kreme doughnuts every day in the name of "testing" but i don't. because i know what will happen, and it's not pretty. by the way, do you keep a food journal? i did for the first year and it was so helpful.

[WheatChef]

Three heavy doses of gluten poisoning have removed almost all of the cravings I used to get. Aversion therapy isn't the worst thing in the world.

[Skylark]

I think everybody tests their tolerance to gluten. You'll laugh because my last real test where I ate bread was at Jack-in-the Box. Talk about not worth it! Some of us fare worse than others when we are inclined to test.

To have a shot at a "your villi are damaged" diagnosis, you would have to eat gluten for a couple months to do enough damage that the biopsy has a reasonable chance of sampling a damaged spot. Even then, there is no guarantee of the biopsy missing damage. You can talk to a doctor about doing this.

[ravenwoodglass]

Three heavy doses of gluten poisoning have removed almost all of the cravings I used to get. Aversion therapy isn't the worst thing in the world.

I second that heartily! Kind of like Pavlov's dog in reverse.

[Lgood22573]

I agree. I think many of us go through this. I did it myself a couple of months ago. I ate two sunchips, just to "see" what would happen. I WILL NEVER do that again. My reaction was so severe, I was sick and in agony all night long. If you decide to do it, just know that you could have that type of reaction.

[RideAllWays]

Well, I'm glad to hear I'm not alone in this thought process, but I'm sorry lots of you have done it and felt horrible. I've decided to wait. I will continue to eat very basic foods, get enough sleep, exercise, etc..and if I'm still feeling terrible I may try to introduce it. I guess I am just worried something else may be going on.

[jackay]

Possibly you have other food intolerances and or candida. After giving up gluten and being careful about cross contamination, the only improvement I had was that my anxiety went away. After three months, I went on elimination diet and started taking Candex to rid me of the candida.

I started out just eating chicken, turnips, olive oil and sea salt. Almost overnight, I saw improvement. I was finally able to get some consistant sleep. I have since added oregano oil for killing the candida. It has been about two months and I am not eating 40 different foods and adding something new every few days.

I never thought I could do the elimination diet but then I never thought I could give up gluten. Once I started feeling better, it got easy.

[RideAllWays]

I just want to make it clear, because I was not in a fantastic mood or state of mine when I was writing my original post...

This is NOT just over a craving. My thought process is a little deeper than that. I love to cook, and I've learned how to make everything I want gluten free. That is not a problem.