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Birthday Cake Drama

crimsonviolet

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crimsonviolet Apprentice
crimsonviolet
Posted

Last week was FIL's birthday. We went out to Chili's and the kids, hubby and I had some delicious gluten-free food, with no apparent after-effects. YAY! But then after dinner we went to the IL's for cake. MIL was really irritated that we couldn't eat the cake she bought. She tried to convince DH that it didn't have wheat in it because it was a fruit torte. Yes it had a crust but surely that wasn't wheat. It had no ingredients on the label so DH told her no way. She was peeved but we all ate ice cream and the kids were totally fine.

Last night was BIL's birthday, so we all trooped over to their house for dinner. MIL was pretty careful about not cooking anything that would be off limits (though I had my doubts about the scalloped potatoes so the kids and I just avoided those.) Yay! But... (you knew that was coming) She baked a cake. A regular cake, per BIL's request, topped with strawberries and cream. The kids were drooling over it, and MIL promised them cake after dinner. I told her they couldn't eat it, and she said, "It doesn't have gluten, I checked the ingredients on the box and there was no gluten." /Sigh...

I tried to explain that WHEAT is the issue, "GLUTEN" won't be on the box. She insisted that it only had WHITE flour, no wheat. /double sigh... FIL sputtered something about "They can't have anything with flour! No cake, or cookies or bread?!?" I said yep.

When dessert time came around, she still seemed to think that we were all going to eat cake. She even served DH a huge slice. We managed to stop her from serving the kids any, and again I got them some ice cream and berries and they were totally happy. But man was she mad! She huffed and groused and then BIL got angry and cranky, too. So to appease his family, DH ate his slice of cake... and barely made it home before he had to run to the bathroom. /triple sigh...

Thank goodness there are no more birthdays in that family for a while...

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GlutenFreeManna Rising Star
GlutenFreeManna
Posted

Wow, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I just don't understand people like your MIL who take it personally when you can't eat something. How did it hurt her to let your family eat ice cream instead of cake? Sadly, I have seen this type of story posted more than once so I know it happens frequently. Hopefully your hubby learned his lessen and will stand up to MIL next time. Unfortunately since he gave in this time she may be even harder to convince...

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

So, if your Hub & kids have Celiac. Where do you suppose those genes came from? I probably would have gotten mad the second time and told her it was her or her husbands fault. She should do everything she can to make up for that!

srall Contributor
srall
Posted

I am just sitting here shaking my head.

precious831 Contributor
precious831
Posted

That's crazy, if I had to deal w/ someone like this( i do but not on a regular basis), I would not bring my family there, I don't care what they say. My family's health comes first. Tell your MIL(inlaws) to educate themselves about gluten-free. Lots of people like them seems to think white flour is not wheat *smh.*

crimsonviolet Apprentice
crimsonviolet
Posted
  • Author

So, if your Hub & kids have Celiac. Where do you suppose those genes came from? I probably would have gotten mad the second time and told her it was her or her husbands fault. She should do everything she can to make up for that!

Exactly! Her whole side of the family has tummy issues - frequent and chronic heartburn and who knows what else. She's on meds for allergies, cholesterol (and then something else b/c the cholesterol meds messed up her liver!), heartburn... BIL is only 29 and already has high blood pressure plus all the rest!

Last week at dessert hubby tried to tell MIL about how much better he has been feeling since he stopped eating gluten - his heartburn is gone, no more potty issues, and he's losing a ton of weight... she nodded politely for a few seconds, then pointedly changed the subject while DH was still talking!

She just thinks I'm nuts lol. I think she flat-out doesn't believe in allergies or food intolerances (even though she freely admits to tomatoes giving her heartburn, but she won't stop eating them.)

DS2 had severe reflux as an infant that we cured by adjusting my diet when he was a nursling, and then having him avoid the foods (primarily oranges and eggs) when he started eating solids. Once when he was just under 2 we were eating brunch with MIL and she was trying to get DS2 to eat some eggs. I reminded her that he was allergic to them, and she told me that was "nonsense, he's just never tried them." I told her, no he really IS allergic, to the point that he gets 2nd degree burns on his bum from eating them (which we discovered when he ate pancakes made with eggs on vacation.) That shut her up for that day, but she is really good at conveniently "forgetting" what everyone is allergic to (including her own kids.) le Sigh.

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

I hope it is obvious to you and your Hub that you cannot leave your kids alone with them. Even when they are teens. I find the well behaved, respect- adult type teens have a hard time saying no to a trusted adult. They might believe that this is my Grandma so if she says these are gluten-free cookies, then they must be. Of course, kids can be told Grandma is not to be trusted and why. My kids know we have a relative that has no morals, so be careful.

Anyway, next time bring your own cake or cupcakes. You can make them or buy them if you live in an area with a gluten-free bakery. We have people on the forums who have businesses decorating gluten-free cakes.

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ravenwoodglass Mentor
ravenwoodglass
Posted

I hope it is obvious to you and your Hub that you cannot leave your kids alone with them. Even when they are teens. I find the well behaved, respect- adult type teens have a hard time saying no to a trusted adult. They might believe that this is my Grandma so if she says these are gluten-free cookies, then they must be. Of course, kids can be told Grandma is not to be trusted and why. My kids know we have a relative that has no morals, so be careful.

Anyway, next time bring your own cake or cupcakes. You can make them or buy them if you live in an area with a gluten-free bakery. We have people on the forums who have businesses decorating gluten-free cakes.

I agree with both statements. When you visit the next time tell them you will bring dessert. Then bring a lovely gluten-free cake with a whipped cream and fresh strawberries on the top. That way the kids won't be disappointed and perhaps they might even taste it and discover that gluten-free doesn't always mean cardboard.

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

perhaps they might even taste it and discover that gluten-free doesn't always mean cardboard.

Not sure all cardboard is gluten free. ;)

Mom took cake decorating class. They decorated a styrofoam cake with real icing to practice different techniques. It was beautiful and looked real. Maybe you could serve that? Styrofoam is gluten-free. :P

K8ling Enthusiast
K8ling
Posted

Oh my goodness, I am so sorry that you had to deal with this drama! It's totally unnecessary! When my MIL was being difficult I printed out handouts and highlighted the bit about wheat and how white flour is not even remotely safe...she seemed to get it.

Sending good vibes to you!!!

ravenwoodglass Mentor
ravenwoodglass
Posted

Not sure all cardboard is gluten free. ;)

:D:D:D

crimsonviolet Apprentice
crimsonviolet
Posted
  • Author

We've done the Betty Crocker gluten-free mixes and my kids (and the rest of us) love them. Definitely not cardboard! I even served gluten-free cupcakes at DS's birthday party a few weeks ago and I don't think anyone could tell the difference. Wouldn't you know MIL brought gluteny cream puffs and didn't eat any gluten-free cake. Her own little PA protest I guess.

I actually even have a cake mix in the pantry right now. Unfortunately DH forgot to tell me about the birthday dinner last night until oh... 3pm or so. (He says he mentioned it the other day but I don't remember.) If I'd had a little more advance notice I probably would have brought our own cake, but in retrospect that probably would have pissed off MIL even more lol.

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

If I'd had a little more advance notice I probably would have brought our own cake, but in retrospect that probably would have pissed off MIL even more lol.

And your point is....? :)

mushroom Proficient
mushroom
Posted

And your point is....? :)

Agree. Sounds like she needs some serious pissing off :)

psawyer Proficient
psawyer
Posted

Agree. Sounds like she needs some serious pissing off :)

I agree. She needs it put in her face, or maybe even shoved up her (fill in blank). :ph34r::angry::angry:
sahm-i-am Apprentice
sahm-i-am
Posted

Some people are so wheatarded!!!!!

K8ling Enthusiast
K8ling
Posted

I agree. She needs it put in her face, or maybe even shoved up her (fill in blank). :ph34r::angry::angry:

HAHAHAH I so was thinking this!!! Awesome.

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Some people are so wheatarded!!!!!

Good use of a Celiac word!

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