Revenant's Journal.

[revenant]

Wow, I seem to have a lot of troubles.

First of all let me catch you up on some things

My younger sister, the one who is suicidal, agreed to try a gluten free diet tomorrow!

So that's great

The trouble is now me. I have gone back to gluten eggs and dairy, and now it is me that is starting to feel extremely depressed/in pain again. I can't seem to get off of the stuff for more than 2 weeks. I have tried for a full year now....

I don't know what I'm asking help with here. The food has put me back in that cycle, too

depressed>eat gluten/milk for comfort> despair> eat for comfort> gain weight > eat for comfort...

I have forgotten how it feels to feel good again, and so I do not have motivation.

The holiday season is coming around, as well as the winter weather...

This is a real addiction. And I can't seem to get "Sober".

I feel like I need to go to a recovery center of some sort. Do those exist???

I know what I have to do, but I just CANT do it alone, and I can't seem to do it if i'm the only person who cares, because I never give myself enough credit.

And that is why I made this "journal". Because, maybe if I have a place where I can post my successful days, one by one, I will feel less alone in the process. So I hope you guys don't mind this thread too much.

So I'll start with today.

Nov.1

Today was horrible. I did something stupid and decided to 'fast' to cleanse out my system from YESTERDAY'S gluten mistake. Of course this led me to binging on gluten/lactose things AGAIN today... I began to go through a heavy detox in the evening and.. turned to a lot of halloween candy. Right now my neck is just beginning to develop that coat of bloated fat, my joints beginning to ache, of course I'm beginning to feel hopeless.

I am hoping tomorrow will be better... No fasting, no starving. I realize this does not work. I will keep on posting my day's progress.. in hopes that, putting my progress in public, will somehow assist me with this.

[Skylark]

Hi, Revenant. Yes, recovery centers exist, as do addiction help programs. 12-step programs are your best bet, as they are extremely powerful and easy to find. You can get very good support in some of those groups. Ravenwooodglass and I already suggested AA in your other thread. If you prefer not to follow the alcohol direction, FAA might be helpful instead. Open Original Shared Link They are not as widespread as AA, but do they seem to have a hotline and online meetings.

You can also seek counseling, or look for addiction recovery centers in your area. Posting here might help, but I really wish you would avail yourself of some professional or 12-step style addiction help.

[mushroom]

I second Skylark's suggestion. But feel free to post your journey here too; I think it might just help you if you know that we will read it every day and follow your progress. And it might help you to see how your actions affect how you feel, and then how you react to how you feel - day after day. Don't try anything radical with your diet - just don't eat gluten (and don't drink your mom's booze)

[ravenwoodglass]

If your sister is going to try the diet perhaps you can be each others support and sounding board. The key to getting over the withdrawl issues is to fight through them and not give in to the temptation to eat gluten. Caving and going to gluten is going to keep the withdrawl going. Can you get a supply of safe gluten free stuff that you can keep on hand to get you through that period? Perhaps some gluten-free brownies or cookies, some Kinninickkinnick pizza shells and fixings to keep on hand for when you crave pizza. Some safe chocolate or Jelly Bellys etc. You can of course journal here if it helps and with that and you two supporting each other and perhaps some counseling you can get through the withdrawl period.

[kareng]

Maybe, by helping you sis, you will help yourself. Having someone who is supporting you will help.

Get some fun stuff that is gluten-free like Skittles and Starbursts and Tootsie Rolls. Pop a Starburst in when you are tempted to eat something wrong. Don't hang out in the kitchen close to the food (this is a problem of mine).

Do you have a dog or a neighbors dog that you like? When you start to get tempted take the dog for a walk or to play in the yard. Or just go for a walk around the block. This helps in several ways - gets you away from the temptation, exercise improves your mood, makes the dog happy.

Good luck!

[mushroom]

No more posts??? How are you doing??? We do care