Invited To Boss's House For Holiday Meal

[laura4669]

My husband's boss invited us to his home this weekend for a holiday lunch. It is really nice of him and his wife to have us over, but I am not sure how to tell her that I want to bring my own food. We went to their house for the first time over the summer, and I had called her in advance to tell her that I had celiac and couldn't eat any bread, pasta, etc. She didn't know much about celiac, and I told her not to go to any trouble, but I just wanted to give her a heads up so that she was not insulted if I couldn't eat all of the food she prepared. Well, at lunch she seemed a bit upset when I told her I couldn't eat her orzo salad, and she said, "Oh, but I didn't put any gluten in it!" Maybe she didn't realize that orzo was pasta? I don't expect her to understand about the whole gluten-free thing, but I also will not eat any food that will make me sick.

Any suggestions on how I could firmly but tactfully tell her that I would like to bring some food, or maybe I should just eat before I go? I don't want to offend her. Thanks.

[ravenwoodglass]

I would eat before I went but I would also ask her if I could bring a dish like salad or a side dish cassrole that you would be able to eat safely. Stress that you really enjoy their company and want to come and that she shouldn't feel she has to try and accomodate your diet.

[jerseyangel]

Firmly but politely tell her that you will be bringing your own food. I always do this regardless of where I'm going--I just say that cooking for me is tricky and I don't want to put anyone to the trouble of preparing my meal.

[kareng]

Firmly but politely tell her that you will be bringing your own food. I always do this regardless of where I'm going--I just say that cooking for me is tricky and I don't want to put anyone to the trouble of preparing my meal.

What she said.

We are going to a boss party this weekend but it's not a sit down meal. We are going to PF Changs first. Then we will avoid the food room (big house, lots of small rooms).

Also, even if her food appears to be gluten-free it might not be. Example: she makes a green salad. She cuts bread on the cutting board, brushes it off a little then decides she will put those last 2 tomatoes in the salad. Guess where she cuts them?

[Jestgar]

Firmly but politely tell her that you will be bringing your own food. I always do this regardless of where I'm going--I just say that cooking for me is tricky and I don't want to put anyone to the trouble of preparing my meal.

Also what she said.

[tarnalberry]

I would simply, but firmly, state, "I have a number of food intolerances that make it very difficult to cook for me without getting me sick. I'd rather not put you through the trouble or take the chance of being ill for the holidays. I will bring my own small dish, so please don't worry about me being hungry. I look forward to getting to spend time talking and getting to know you."

[K8ling]

I am headed to the Christmas party for the squadron tonight...I am eating before we go and my husband will be eating there. That way we both get food and we can have fun. I typically HATE these affairs though, since its almost always a sit down meal and I look quite odd nursing my glass of red wine .

Good luck! I'll be thinking if you tonight while I am navigating dangerous food!! :)

[jenngolightly]

I am headed to the Christmas party for the squadron tonight...I am eating before we go and my husband will be eating there. That way we both get food and we can have fun. I typically HATE these affairs though, since its almost always a sit down meal and I look quite odd nursing my glass of red wine .

Good luck! I'll be thinking if you tonight while I am navigating dangerous food!! :)

What I do in these situations is bring my own food in a little soft sided cooler, ask for a clean plate from a server, discretely head to a corner and put my own food on the plate, rejoin the party and rarely does anyone notice what I've done (tuck the cooler under your chair). This way there aren't those imposing questions. No one feels uncomfortable eating in front of me (there are those awkward apologies from people). And I get to eat with everyone else like normal.

Try this, you'll feel normal again.

[jerseyangel]

I am headed to the Christmas party for the squadron tonight...I am eating before we go and my husband will be eating there. That way we both get food and we can have fun. I typically HATE these affairs though, since its almost always a sit down meal and I look quite odd nursing my glass of red wine .

Good luck! I'll be thinking if you tonight while I am navigating dangerous food!! :)

Last weekend we went to a sit down dinner for my husband's company holiday party. I brought my own dinner (homemade veggie risotto--very simple to reheat) that the restaurant was more than happy to reheat and plate it for me. Our waitress timed it so that I was served with everyone else and I didn't feel the least bit embarrassed or hungry.

I did call the restaurant ahead of time, and the manager agreed that for everyone's safety it was best that I bring my own food. At the end of the evening, my husband and I took the waitress aside, thanked her again, and gave her a nice tip.

[laura4669]

Thanks guys! I appreciate your feedback. This is a new job for my husband, and a new friendship with his boss and wife. I guess it is better to be firm about this from the start, and then in the future there won't be any confusion

[jerseyangel]

This is a new job for my husband, and a new friendship with his boss and wife. I guess it is better to be firm about this from the start, and then in the future there won't be any confusion

You are absolutely right