My Parents? I Need Advice!

[guitarchik]

Hello! So, this is my first post and so far I've been (as well as I can be) gluten-free for 2 1/2 months but my parents are not very supportive. I'm only 15 and haven't really been taught to cook , my parents mainly get fast food, pizza, etc. and my mom tries to understand but won't do the diet with me so I mainly eat fries when they get fast food and cereal and snacks from the health food store down the street (string cheese, crackers, yogurt, that's about it). I try to tell her I don't feel well if I don't have real meals and she'll make something which lasts 2-3 days but then goes back to that other food.

Apart from that my parents can't seem to keep other things out of the house like normal chips, cookies, bread, cupcakes, the list goes on for awhile, no matter how many times I ask or try to explain how hard it is to just give things up like that when I ate it my whole life. So I ask if they can keep it in thier room and they do but the minute they go buy something else it's in the kitchen. I don't know what to do and I'm really just kinda frustrated.

P.S. She does buy bread and fruit but not very much so it's gone pretty fast and then she takes a couple days to go to the store.

[zimmer]

I'm sorry! I know it's hard. But, I'm glad you are doing the best thing for you. Your post didn't say - did you have positive blood tests or what? Have your parents been tested? You got it from somewhere! Do your parents understand what it's all about, and why it's important for you to eat gluten-free? It's hard enough to change your own habits, much less those of your parents.

Maybe if you asked your mom to help you learn to cook, then she might get more interested and involved in the process. Start with some simple cooking, like scrambled eggs, baked chicken, frozen veggies in the microwave.

Help her by making a shopping list of the things you want / need. Easy things to have around - bags of baby carrots, cheese sticks, raisins, nuts, yogurt (with no additives - check out Dannon Natural Vanilla), bananas, canned fruit. I started getting Udi's bread which is frozen and tastes good, so you could make sandwiches or cheese toast or french toast.

Good luck with this, and hang in there! Keep us posted as to how it's going.

[FooGirlsMom]

Hi Courtney,

I'm wondering if you guys have medical insurance and you are able to get yourself tested for Celiac? Having a diagnosis would help a great deal, I'm sure.

If that is not possible, then there are some things that will help. It sounds a bit like your parents are either too busy or do not like to cook much. It can be intimidating on the grocery bill for whoever does the shopping to buy gluten-free foods.

Being 15, this is a great oppty for you to learn to cook. If you start now, you'd be surprised how quickly you can learn to feed yourself well even before you're old enough to go to college or move into your own place.

You might find that by cooking, your family appreciates it and will be more open to your gluten-free lifestyle. I know, at 15, my mom especially really appreciated my taking on the work now and then. I first baked because Mom hated it. Then I learned to cook side dishes & meats. You can also ask them if it's ok if you put some of the leftovers in a container with your name on it to eat. You can also ask to do the grocery shopping with whoever does it.

Here are some of our favorite cheapies:

Jasmine rice cooked with a bag of frozen peas, carrots & corn in gluten-free broth. Add ground hamburger or cooked chicken and top with a gluten free sauce like Wingers Amazing Sauce. (Wingers sells extra sauce at their restaurants and some local stores carry it.) You can also find gluten free sweet & sour sauce, etc.

The directions for cooking the rice is on the bag. We buy a huge bag of jasmine rice at Walmart for $15.

Cottage cheese & pineapple or canned fruit.

Breakfast foods: Eggs, Chex Cereal, etc.

You can also order gluten free pasta online at a discount & use jarred gluten free sauces.

Hamburger, Chicken, frozen veggies & microwaved red potatoes with butter or cheese on top for dinners.

Desserts: The Betty Crocker cake mixes are available in stores. THe bettycrocker.com website has recipes using these mixes. For instance, the yellow cake mix can be made into pineapple upside down cake and it's delicious

Bagged Salad with Farmhouse Ranch (the refrigerated section where they sell the salad) is gluten free in the ranch. Just check the label.

Learning to cook is your way of accomplishing two things -- one: if you are gluten sensitive, you are teaching yourself a vital skill that you'll use the rest of your life. It's a way to make gluten free fun & palatible to your whole family, which you have now and you'll have later when you have kids. I wish I'd known at your age that I had a gluten problem. I'd have had years of experience before feeding a whole family this way. Two: it may be a way to get your parents on board by becoming the main cook in the family & they may agree to eat more gluten free foods if you'll make them.

Cooking gluten free for the non-gluten sensitive can seem overwhelming and intimimidating (and expensive) but if you try, you may find your can convert your parents to your way of eating

Good luck.

FooGirlsMom

[kareng]

Are you diagnosed? Why did you decide to go gluten-free?

Watch some cooking shows. That will help you to understand some of the concepts of cooking.

[Diane-in-FL]

If you did get diagnosed, maybe your doctor needs to talk with your parents to emphasize how important this is. They seem way too nonchalant about it. Good luck!

[srall]

I would hope if you have a diagnosis that your parents would step up to the plate. I'm not doubting at all that you feel better gluten free, but I'm curious as to what started your journey.

I went gluten free a year ago, and even though I was in my 40's I was not a very good cook. And the things I could make were...well, cakes, pizza, spaghetti (still make that one), muffins. Anyhow, after I went off gluten (and dairy/soy/corn) I realized I would never have another proper and safe meal again unless I started to figure it out. There are some great recipes on the net. I love Gluten Free Girl's recipes. Oh...they come from love. So good. Even my husband raves about every recipe I've made from her site. So I learned to cook. And I'm pretty good. I've even surpassed my foodie husband and he was always the authority in the kitchen.

Hopefully you can convince your mom or dad to get you the groceries you need and give you a lesson in the basics in the kitchen. Am I totally aging myself when I ask if schools still have home ec? If so, you could take a class. Good luck!

[aeraen]

First of all, my heart breaks for you. Whether you have been officially diagnosed, or just discovered that your tummy doesn't hurt any longer when you eat gluten-free, a girl your age NEEDS proper nutrition.

One hint, don't sweat if the rest of your family eats all those things you can't have anymore... eventually you are going out into a world where everyone eats it, so you won't be able to avoid it.

But, if your parents can't or won't support your gluten-free requirement, maybe you can take care of yourself by offering to MAKE dinner. I don't know a parent alive who wouldn't RUN to the grocery store to buy the ingredients if their kid offered to do the cooking (mom of 2 teens, here ). Start finding some recipes and make gluten-free meals for the whole family. Make a little extra if you can, and create little TV dinners that you can put in the fridge or freezer for days when you can't cook.

I want to give you a hug... I have one child (older than you) who SHOULD be gluten-free, but sneaks junk when she's out of the house. I wish she took it as seriously as you do.

[jenngolightly]

Hello! So, this is my first post and so far I've been (as well as I can be) gluten-free for 2 1/2 months but my parents are not very supportive. I'm only 15 and haven't really been taught to cook , my parents mainly get fast food, pizza, etc. and my mom tries to understand but won't do the diet with me so I mainly eat fries when they get fast food and cereal and snacks from the health food store down the street (string cheese, crackers, yogurt, that's about it). I try to tell her I don't feel well if I don't have real meals and she'll make something which lasts 2-3 days but then goes back to that other food.

Apart from that my parents can't seem to keep other things out of the house like normal chips, cookies, bread, cupcakes, the list goes on for awhile, no matter how many times I ask or try to explain how hard it is to just give things up like that when I ate it my whole life. So I ask if they can keep it in thier room and they do but the minute they go buy something else it's in the kitchen. I don't know what to do and I'm really just kinda frustrated.

P.S. She does buy bread and fruit but not very much so it's gone pretty fast and then she takes a couple days to go to the store.

The other posts are so great. You'll definitely find support here if you want it.

Another consideration for home - will your mom give you a grocery allowance? You can spend this money on food for you? Maybe she can take you and then start seeing the things that you buy and make. There's nothing like a wake up call when your kids start eating more healthy than you.

If you need help finding recipes, etc. just post your questions here and we can give you links and suggestions.

[Roda]

Based on the poster's signature she is diagnosed with celiac by blood test and biopsy. With that you need to take them to your doctor to discuss the seriousness of this. Not being able to accomidate your needs can have serious consequences to your health. You are still a minor and they need to help you with this by providing you safe options. What are you doing for lunch at school? Is the school able to accomidate you? If not, do you have available gluten free options that you can take to school?

[kareng]

Based on the poster's signature she is diagnosed with celiac by blood test and biopsy. With that you need to take them to your doctor to discuss the seriousness of this. Not being able to accomidate your needs can have serious consequences to your health. You are still a minor and they need to help you with this by providing you safe options. What are you doing for lunch at school? Is the school able to accomidate you? If not, do you have available gluten free options that you can take to school?

I don't think that was on there earlier.

You are a minor. You need to talk to the school counselor. Tell them you have a diagnosis and your parents refuse to treat your illness. Do you have a grandparent or other relative who might help you? A pastor? Call the doctor's office. See if the doc will talk to your parents. Maybe send you and your mom to a dietician. If money is the issue, you don't have to buy alot of specifically gluten-free products. Apples, hamburger, carrot sticks & cheese are gluten-free. There are alot of threads on here about gluten-free on a budget.

If none of this works, you will need to call human services child protection. I'm sorry you have to have this illness and neglectful parents. Let's try to work this out with your parents first.

[srall]

Oh duh. I missed the signature. Sorry about that. In that case I'm of the opinion that if there is a minor child with diagnosed Celiac in the house, the house should be gluten free. And the parents should be presenting healthy, safe meals. I still think learning to cook is going to make things much easier for you as you try and navigate all this when you are an adult. But...your parents must must must educate themselves very quickly and make sure you are eating properly.

[guitarchik]

Ya, I tested postive and I've tried asking her to teach me but she just doesn't want to cook very often. She does feed me, like she doesn't totally neglect me, it's just she could try a little harder.

[guitarchik]

I would hope if you have a diagnosis that your parents would step up to the plate. I'm not doubting at all that you feel better gluten free,

I do have one for sure, and I know I do and my parents have talked to the doctors about it but my mom just hates to cook or shop very often.

Am I totally aging myself when I ask if schools still have home ec? If so, you could take a class.

haha no, They do but at my school they only do things like cookies, cupcakes, etc. (I tried for a couple months before I got tested but didn't learn much.)

[srall]

I do have one for sure, and I know I do and my parents have talked to the doctors about it but my mom just hates to cook or shop very often.

haha no, They do but at my school they only do things like cookies, cupcakes, etc. (I tried for a couple months before I got tested but didn't learn much.)

Well, of course it's all gluteny stuff. :-) I taught myself. I think you can do it too. In the meantime, good luck with your folks. I know how your mom feels. Shopping and meal planning is the least favorite part of my job. But, she needs to make sure your getting the right foods. Safe journey, Courtney.

[eatmeat4good]

I like the idea of you making a list of what you need for the week.

Plan what YOU want to eat for your health and then ask your mom if it sounds reasonable.

Simple things I do that keeps food flowing is I cook hamburgers and keep them in the fridge for warming in the microwave for later eating.

Nothing wrong with fruit and veggies and they are quick. But you need to get enough protein to be able to heal.

I'm teaching my son 16 to cook.

His favorites are hamburgers, chicken tenders, (Just dust with gluten free flour and fry in oil a few minutes on each side.)

We keep these done ahead of time so he can always grab a burger or strips and warm them up.

Also, they can be chopped up for filling for nacho's or taco's. You add Picante sauce or salsa and cheese if you can tolerate it and beans if you like. Microwave and eat with chips.

I had my son try to figure out what he needs for the week so he can start to know and plan his meals.

This might work out well for you if your mom is open to it. I hope she will at least be supportive of you trying to control your own diet for your health. If you help organize it she might be able to provide.

Wish ya had more help sweetie. But know that you are doing right by your own health and hang in there!

[rosetapper23]

Here's a list of "regular", processed foods that your parents can purchase at any supermarket that are all gluten free:

Open Original Shared Link

It has more than a hundred pages of foods such as enchilada sauce, candy, chili, salad dressings, etc. that are all gluten free.

I'd like to add that fast food french fries are not all gluten free, because most places also fry onion rings, which contain wheat, in the same oil. I don't EVER eat french fries that aren't fried in a dedicated fryer. That's the question to ask every time you see french fries listed on a menu.

Lastly, many "regular" chips are gluten free, such as Lay's and Ruffles. They didn't used to be gluten free, but my understanding is that they retooled their recipes so that they're now gluten free. You can go to their Web sites to check out exactly which flavors are gluten free. Also, Cocoa Pebbles and Fruity Pebbles are two cereals that are gluten free (and specially marked boxes of Chex cereals, too).

Now, lastly (for real), make sure your folks know that you need wheat-free soy sauce (called Tamari sauce), your own dedicated toaster and condiments (mayo, mustard, butter, etc.) to avoid contamination, and a cutting board you can call your own.

Please feel free to ask questions any time--the posters on this board are very informed and caring.

[dbhickma]

Not having support at home makes things much harder than they already are. Hang in there. I think it's an awesome idea to see if your mom will give you a food allowance. You could also just ask her if you can do the shopping since she hates going and I'm sure she's so tired after working all day, etc. etc. I used to make the grossest food when I first started cooking. I still do some times actually. One thing you do have to do is cook when you have celiac/or are gluen intolerant. You're going to have to start cooking sooner or later. Give it a try. You could also make double the food and freeze portion size containers for quick meals when your parents do takeout. I did that for a little while.

[ravenwoodglass]

Has the doctor stressed to your parents that they also need to be screened for celiac? It is strongly genetic. The reason that your Mom has such a penchant for fast food and quick prepackaged stuff may be that she is celiac herself and just generally feeling awful all the time. I know that before I was diagnosed I barely had the energy to eat let alone cook and most of our meals were unfortunately 'quick' ones. We ate a lot of meals that were basically a meat, a couple veggies and noodles. Even then I wouldn't have the energy to even do dishes after dinner so I would rinse them and did them while I cooked dinner the next day. You've gotten a lot of good meal suggestions from other posts and I just wanted to add the suggestion that your whole family needs to be screened as it is very important to rule celiac out in the others. It is highly likely that you are not the only one in the family that need to be on the diet.

[eatmeat4good]

Has the doctor stressed to your parents that they also need to be screened for celiac? It is strongly genetic. The reason that your Mom has such a penchant for fast food and quick prepackaged stuff may be that she is celiac herself and just generally feeling awful all the time. I know that before I was diagnosed I barely had the energy to eat let alone cook and most of our meals were unfortunately 'quick' ones. We ate a lot of meals that were basically a meat, a couple veggies and noodles. Even then I wouldn't have the energy to even do dishes after dinner so I would rinse them and did them while I cooked dinner the next day. You've gotten a lot of good meal suggestions from other posts and I just wanted to add the suggestion that your whole family needs to be screened as it is very important to rule celiac out in the others. It is highly likely that you are not the only one in the family that need to be on the diet.

That is a VERY good point Ravenwood!! I should have thought of that! I was too ill at one point to cook at all. I generally felt lousy all the time, and hoped I would do more cooking when I got well. It wasn't until I found out about Celiac that I started feeling well enough to cook and that was 7 years later. Maybe your mom isn't feeling well and maybe some of her symptoms would go away if she went gluten free too. You have enough to worry about feeding yourself, but your parents should be tested. Ravenwood is right!

[StacyA]

Hi Courtney. It sounds like your parents just never got into the routine of cooking much, and that's a hard skill to suddenly develop no matter how much they care about you - either because of lack of knowledge, lack of time, or just plain habit. Sorry to hear about your situation - but you at least are at a good age to start a good life-long and very healthy habit for yourself - cooking.

I'd suggest getting a bunch of tupperware, and try some new recipes out on the weekends. Leftovers can be your dinners through the week. For lunches at school, I'm sure you've been creative. Peanut butter and jelly in corn tortillas is something that saves well. Fruit. Cheese. Boost.

You can find so many recipes here and in other websites. Some of the first recipes I ever cooked when I was young were sweet and sour chicken with rice, spaghetti (on rice or gluten-free pasta), beef stroganoff (on rice or gluten-free pasta), and pot roast (very easy - throw a roast in the oven with potatoes and onion and celery and carrots and salt and pepper and water at 350 and forget about it for five or so hours - well, check on it to make sure it doesn't dry out...).

Relying on expensive gluten-free items can add up. Cooking is way cheaper, but a lot of parents don't do it because they never learned or don't make the time.

This is a good site for tips, so I'm glad you found it!