Need To Vent, Shoulder To Cry On And Everybody

[kareng]

Thanks everyone I really appreciate all of your replies. That's why I love this forum sooooo much.

Well, I finally had enough of his bull and let loose on him and gave him what for. I told him he either got the gluten out of the truck and washed his hands when he did eat out or I was leaving for good. And I told him if that meant I was being selfish then so be it, but i didn't give a rat's terd anymore and I wasn't catering to him anymore. If he didn't like my attitude, no problem. I was done with kissin his you know what. I also told him I was tired of his condescending attitude and being treated like a child.

I surprised myself, normally I just sit back and keep my mouth shut but i've come to realize, thanks to everyone here, that I needed to speak up and really let him know how i felt. So far so good but we'll see how long it lasts.

Good girl!

Now, stick to it! If he loves you, he should want you healthy. But I remember you said he had some health issues he didn't take care of well. This may just be a bad match.

Hang tough!

[txplowgirl]

Good girl!

Now, stick to it! If he loves you, he should want you healthy. But I remember you said he had some health issues he didn't take care of well. This may just be a bad match.

Hang tough!

Thanks Kareng,

Yes, he's a diabetic, he takes his meds but still eats whatever he wants too even if it makes him sick, he's also had one heart attack and he still smokes up to a couple of packs aday. And on top of that he has a problem with gluten. He just won't do anything about it. We both know gluten affects him because within just a couple of minutes of eating something gluteney he's get the worst runny nose I have ever seen. I call him my gluten radar, because if i'm not sure of something he'll take a bite and that nose of his will tell me if it's ok or not.

[Marilyn R]

Dear Txplowgirl,

I've always believed in the Benjamin Franklin approach.

Take a clean sheet of paper and write the titles of "Good" on one side and "Bad" on the other side. Then list what you like and love on one side, list all the bad things on the other side of the paper.

Weigh them. Once you get a real perspective on what is good and bad, you can make a legitimate decision, and stick with it. You'll have made a scientific decision? Good luck, wish you all the best!

[Lisa]

Dear Txplowgirl,

I've always believed in the Benjamin Franklin approach.

Take a clean sheet of paper and write the titles of "Good" on one side and "Bad" on the other side. Then list what you like and love on one side, list all the bad things on the other side of the paper.

Weigh them. Once you get a real perspective on what is good and bad, you can make a legitimate decision, and stick with it. You'll have made a scientific decision? Good luck, wish you all the best!

I like this approach! If that doesn't work, the elbow planting approach would be secondary with gusto!

[txplowgirl]

Dear Txplowgirl,

I've always believed in the Benjamin Franklin approach.

Take a clean sheet of paper and write the titles of "Good" on one side and "Bad" on the other side. Then list what you like and love on one side, list all the bad things on the other side of the paper.

Weigh them. Once you get a real perspective on what is good and bad, you can make a legitimate decision, and stick with it. You'll have made a scientific decision? Good luck, wish you all the best!

Marilyn, I have actually done that! It comes up almost even and that leaves me even more frustrated than before.

He was so sweet today it was almost sickening. Anything I wanted or needed he was right there pronto, telling me how so sorry he was that he was not as understanding as he should be, so on and so on. I've heard all this before and part of me wants to believe him this time and then there's the other part of me that's just dead inside. No feeling of any kind. I don't know if that's the gluten working in me or my love is dying for him. I guess i'll go with the flow for a few weeks and see what happens.

Again, thanks everyone for "being" there for me. I really appreciate everything you guys have done for me.

[mushroom]

My two cents worth??? I think that dead feeling is a lack of trust and belief

[txplowgirl]

My two cents worth??? I think that dead feeling is a lack of trust and belief

I wouldn't be surprised.

[kareng]

and then there's the other part of me that's just dead inside. No feeling of any kind. I don't know if that's the gluten working in me or my love is dying for him.

The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference.

Just saying...

[Jestgar]

Well, however this plays out, and whatever decisions you make, we're here to support you.

[Almendra]

Thanks Kareng,

Yes, he's a diabetic, he takes his meds but still eats whatever he wants too even if it makes him sick, he's also had one heart attack and he still smokes up to a couple of packs aday. And on top of that he has a problem with gluten. He just won't do anything about it. We both know gluten affects him because within just a couple of minutes of eating something gluteney he's get the worst runny nose I have ever seen. I call him my gluten radar, because if i'm not sure of something he'll take a bite and that nose of his will tell me if it's ok or not.

Wow! If he doesn't even care enough about himself to take care of himself, then how the *!#$ is he going to be able to care enough about you to take care of you?

[Almendra]

In the end, his promises to you don't seem to mean anything. Maybe it's time to make promises to yourself.

When I was getting out of a toxic relationship, it helped to have a talisman, a physical symbol of my own promises to myself. I bought myself a ring that I liked (not too pricy - but enough for me to take it seriously) and gave myself a promise ceremony where I promised not to allow myself to get hurt again and to take care of myself.

It really helped me with the transition process; it empowered me. I had a constant physical reminder on my hand that I was my own champion, my own protector.