Does Celiac "define" Who I Am?

[IrishHeart]

The thing is, 50 years ago people didn't eat out like they do now...this is a new thing. My mother has stories of a time when 'eating out' was a hot dog (Chicago-style) at a stand downtown, perhaps once a month. I would say that food 'defines' the general population more than it does us. You know, I don't eat at restaurants like I used to, and I miss it sometimes, but I also don't feel like I need to eat at a restaurant to be happy. My boyfriend's family will use any excuse to go out to eat. They associate food with celebrations, and for them they aren't happy if there was a birthday and they didn't fill up with a 1000 calorie, $30 slab of meat at some steakhouse. Me and my boyfriend celebrate instead by eating a home-cooked meal and then going ice-skating or to the movies or on a trip to a nice place. When you are preparing food in your own home, it isn't a big deal. It only becomes a big deal in a culture where restaurants are a constant social requirement and none of them are willing to accommodate special needs.

Very well said and you raise an excellent point--is it the FOOD that defines us?

For me, my greatest joy was in creating amazing home-cooked meals for family and friends. It's how I "won" my husband he liked my cooking, among other things and we often had dinner parties of multiple courses. Until I got sick and those came to a screeching halt.

I also admit to enjoying the fun of trying new culinary treats in restaurants wherever we traveled. We have memories of fabulous gourmet meals.

It will take some adjustment, that's all.

Now, I am presented with a new challenge. I have converted many of my tried and true recipes to gluten-free...but the best part is FRESH veggies from our garden or the local farms. Hubby has perfected the gluten free bread. Slowly, we all adapt.

I do miss the CONVENIENCE of going out and meeting people and ordering whatever looks good. But I never miss the rotten way I felt --all those years--after doing so.

[rdunbar]

The thing is, 50 years ago people didn't eat out like they do now...this is a new thing. My mother has stories of a time when 'eating out' was a hot dog (Chicago-style) at a stand downtown, perhaps once a month. I would say that food 'defines' the general population more than it does us. You know, I don't eat at restaurants like I used to, and I miss it sometimes, but I also don't feel like I need to eat at a restaurant to be happy. My boyfriend's family will use any excuse to go out to eat. They associate food with celebrations, and for them they aren't happy if there was a birthday and they didn't fill up with a 1000 calorie, $30 slab of meat at some steakhouse. Me and my boyfriend celebrate instead by eating a home-cooked meal and then going ice-skating or to the movies or on a trip to a nice place. When you are preparing food in your own home, it isn't a big deal. It only becomes a big deal in a culture where restaurants are a constant social requirement and none of them are willing to accommodate special needs.

i totally agree.

i got a bunch of documents from my uncle about my family history recently; there was one description of a family member many generations back who "cooked all his meals on a campfire", and rode his horse from Texas to Missouri when he was in his 90's!!

[aeraen]

Late to the party, but I have to ask: does putting on your seat belt every time you get in the car "define" you? Does looking both ways before you cross a street "define" you? Does locking your doors at night before you go to bed "define" you? Does eating a well balanced diet "define" you? Does getting your daily exercise in "define" you?

You do what you do for your health and your safety. They are not your reason for living, they are the reason you are able to live your life and not have it cut short.

Does your friend use drugs? Of course not, they would cut short her life and take away from the life she is now living. Does she smoke or drink to excess? Those, two, could shorten her life. Does the fact that she chooses to not put things in her body that would harm her "define" her? Of course not. Then why should the fact that you choose not to put substances in your body that would shorten your life "define" you?

It sounds more like your siser wants to define you. I've spent years telling my teenage children to not let other people define you.

[IrishHeart]

The original poster felt her sister was chastising her for letting celiac "define her" in ways that seemed to limit her. She was, understandably, reluctant to get sick eating out.

Perhaps the real issue is....not whether it it "defines you" --but CONFINES you?

Only we can decide that for ourselves.

It has liberated me--that probably sounds ridiculous to some of you, I am sure!! --but that's because I actually welcomed the DX as I was so very sick and in horrid pain.

My sister says she is a "diabetic", a friend refers to herself as a " recovered alcoholic"...these are just aspects of their lives that IMPACT them for sure, but do not define them NOR confine them as they negotiate their way in life on a daily basis doing what they need to do to be healthy--as aerean suggests above.