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"it'll Be Ok She Will Outgrow It If You Give It To Her Each Day"

come dance with me

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come dance with me Enthusiast
come dance with me
Posted

I took my daughter to work with me yesterday for the afternoon because my mum was in town so she gave her the day off school and I told work I can work longer if my mum could bring her out to me which made their day too.

Anyway I told them that she isn't to play with the playdough because it's made with wheat flour and with her autism she put things in her mouth like a toddler would. I explained to them that she has Coeliac disease and was basically told I'm making her worse by keeping her away from it and that she'll outgrow it if I let her have gluten each day without restricting her like I am now.

What made it worse is that they then agreed to not let her play with the playdough but then they let her and not only that but they watched as she ate some of it. I went to that side to find a water bottle belonging to one of the children in my group and saw her eating it with them at the table! I told them off for it and the response again was "It'll be ok she will outgrow it if you give it to her each day" she then went on about how her daughter was born with it but outgrew it by the time she was in primary school (5) because she made sure she gave it to her daughter every day.

I think she thinks it's something else because you cannot diagnose it in a BABY and they do NOT outgrow it!!!

I have a very sick little girl with me now :( It wasn't worth the extra bit of time. I should have got my mum to drop her to the daycare mum then worked until 5 like normal but no I took the oportunity to work more by having her with me. All for the sake of an extra 1 hour of work!!!

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Jungle Rookie
Jungle
Posted

Would this not be a case of abuse, or assault?

Intentionally causing harm. You explained she couldn't have these things because it would hurt her and they then intentionally (although they agreed otherwise!) gave it to her. And now she is hurt!

I am so mad for you!! The mommma bear in me wants to go tear a strip off them and make them understand exactly what they have done. If they had said they weren't able to follow your instructions you wouldn't have left her there. Why do they think they know more than you about YOUR child?

love2travel Mentor
love2travel
Posted

Talk about disturbing and incredibly frustrating. I really feel for you and empathize with your plight. I hope your precious little girl gets well very soon. Not sure what to do about that mortifying situation, though. :angry: I can only try to imagine how sickened you must feel. :(

come dance with me Enthusiast
come dance with me
Posted
  • Author

They wonder why I don't like them on that side. No more will I offer to take her so I can work later for them. My poor boss was the one I took it out on the most but it wasn't her fault either.

Dave-KC Newbie
Dave-KC
Posted

It's got to be tricky when dealing with family and any type of sickness or allergy. I'm glad that my mother-in-law is really good at not assuming that she knows the answers from when she raised my wife. That's a big, big help, except she almost goes the other way.

Having to deal with family though is reality, and as much as I'm sure all of us wish it would just go away, it doesn't. I wonder if there are good resources for extended family members about celiac? Some type of helpful pamphlet might be good (or if web savvy, send them to celiac.com).

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

How much of a fuss do you want to raise? Write a letter stating that you informed these people that your child has Celiac disease, and specifically stated that she must be kept away from playdough. A short while later you discovered that not only had they given it to her to play with, but they were deliberately allowing her to eat it.

State that you will keep your child away from them to the best of your ability, but if you ever see them deliberately harming your, or any other child again, you'll file criminal charges. Ask to have a copy (signed by the offender(s) put into each of their employee records.

You will have done nothing directly to anyone, but you will have made the seriousness of their actions very clear.

come dance with me Enthusiast
come dance with me
Posted
  • Author

Lucky for me they are not family nor will she have to be there anymore. It wasn't a normal occurance only that my mum was able to have her for that time then take her to my work before she went home so I was then able to work later to make it easier on my workplace. Normally she's with someone else in the afternoons not at my work. I will probably take it to the state level.

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melikamaui Explorer
melikamaui
Posted

I agree with the others who say this needs to be reported. You should also inundate them with material on celiac disease and insist they read it. How dare they do what they did to your poor child! Would they give a child with a peanut allergy just a little bit to get her over it? Why would they assume that they know better than you? That is maddening! They need to be reported. They're going to kill someone with attitudes like that.

come dance with me Enthusiast
come dance with me
Posted
  • Author

I agree with the others who say this needs to be reported. You should also inundate them with material on celiac disease and insist they read it. How dare they do what they did to your poor child! Would they give a child with a peanut allergy just a little bit to get her over it? Why would they assume that they know better than you? That is maddening! They need to be reported. They're going to kill someone with attitudes like that.

That's a concern I have over it but then the entire centre is a nut-free centre even for staff.

Jungle Rookie
Jungle
Posted

They could choose to do the same thing with dairy, or eggs. No child is safe with the attitudes they had shown.

I love your quote!

mommyto2kids Collaborator
mommyto2kids
Posted

Yesterday I read lots of things from an interesting site. Plug into your search engine "Dr. Alessio Fasano Articles and Publications". Then click on Youth Connection on the L. Then book mark this site. It will help you. The Celiac Spruce Foundation has a good letter for teachers also. I can relate to your story but on a smaller level. My son had a medical note turned in for behavior and food colorings form and signed by his Dr. His teacher tossed it aside. Said she did not believe in behavioral food allergies and fed him the food coloring treat 3/4ths the time. I could always tell on a day when she had. I'd say to my son, "They fed you red or blue cup cakes today didn't they?" He learned to beleive that his behavior is affected by what he eats when he could see that I could tell by how he was acting. I feel that the only kids to get real consideration are the ones with analphalactic issues. But what about the others?!

Brenna'sMom Newbie
Brenna'sMom
Posted

This makes me very angry. How dare they go against your wishes in regard to a medical condition?! This should definitely be reported. Their job is to care for the child, not make medical decisions that go against every single piece of evidence related to her condition. That could cost the facility its license.

I'm sorry this happened to your sweet girl. I hope she's feeling better quickly.

PadmeMaster Apprentice
PadmeMaster
Posted

This makes me very angry. How dare they go against your wishes in regard to a medical condition?! This should definitely be reported. Their job is to care for the child, not make medical decisions that go against every single piece of evidence related to her condition. That could cost the facility its license.

In my opinion, that's needs more than just reporting. Does your job have a newsletter or something? Talk to the editor! Let everyone at your job find out how much they hurt your little girl! Personally, I'd be outraged too! That is like the daycare that BigBro (18m) is in saying "No, he'll outgrow his need for food. We aren't feeding him". Gluten Free is just as important to your little girl as eating is to any other child!

Also, no one suggested this, but if your daughter likes playdoh, you might try the Moondoh and Moonsand (when she's older, on that one). They are specifically labeled Gluten Free ;)

Edit: change some words :ph34r:

come dance with me Enthusiast
come dance with me
Posted
  • Author

Yeah she wants moonsand for her birthday coming up and she'll be 8 then. I make it with the safe flour anyway.

domesticactivist Collaborator
domesticactivist
Posted

With attitudes and practices like these, these people are going to kill a child someday. At the very least, this must be reported to the local agency regulating day cares.

frieze Community Regular
frieze
Posted

this is battery and willful child abuse, these workers should lose their ability'license to work in that venue, immediately.

come dance with me Enthusiast
come dance with me
Posted
  • Author

Unfortunately it's not that easy.

domesticactivist Collaborator
domesticactivist
Posted

What is the challenge? Why can't you report them?

come dance with me Enthusiast
come dance with me
Posted
  • Author

I can report them. I can't explain more about it. I don't know how it works where you are but you can't report them then have them removed from their position. My word against theirs and all that.

domesticactivist Collaborator
domesticactivist
Posted

I'd think whether they lose their job would be up to the manager, and whether the facility loses a license is up to the government. One report probably wouldnt do it. But complaints are important because the next time someone complains there will be a history which will make it be taken more seriously.

frieze Community Regular
frieze
Posted

I can report them. I can't explain more about it. I don't know how it works where you are but you can't report them then have them removed from their position. My word against theirs and all that.

I'm...thnking..you're..in..UK...but..why..can't..you..go..to..police..and..file..a..complaint...

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