Jump to content

  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):

    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

I Just Want The Holidays To Be Over

alex11602

By alex11602
in Coping with Celiac Disease

Recommended Posts

catsmeow Contributor
catsmeow
Posted

Sounds great! IDK if we'd be able to make it or not, but I'd love to find a support group. I feel very alone out here in BFE stumbling in the dark!

Aw, that's to bad. You actually do have a support group in San Angelo, but they don't have a website. Let me see if I can find it again. BME....ha ha..I have not heard that term in a long time. Funny!!!

Celiac Sprue Association

CSA Resource Unit #3023

Becky Zarnowski, San Angelo

325-944-0130, bazarnow@suddenlink.net

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


jswog Contributor
jswog
Posted

Aw, that's to bad. You actually do have a support group in San Angelo, but they don't have a website. Let me see if I can find it again. BME....ha ha..I have not heard that term in a long time. Funny!!!

Celiac Sprue Association

CSA Resource Unit #3023

Becky Zarnowski, San Angelo

325-944-0130, bazarnow@suddenlink.net

Thank you, Trish! I'm going to call her!

MenHen Rookie
MenHen
Posted

Hello! I am new to the board and only about 4 weeks gluten free, so I understand the stress of the holidays. What has helped me is pre-planning. Are your daughters gluten free for health reasons or out of convenience? If they cannot eat gluten, I would highly suggest you cooking your own meal for everyone either before Thanksgiving, as the others have mentioned, or staying home on Thanksgiving day and cooking then. That way you and your daughters get to have a full spread. Then either bring leftovers to your family or spend the next day or weekend with them. Whichever you feel you can do best.

Even though my dad and step-mom are supportive, there is no way I would trust her to cook gluten free on a holiday, which we have a larger family. Maybe after she continues to learn, but there are just too many people grabbing this or that. It would just be asking way too much of her as well. Fortunately for me, my two sisters and I have already cooked a full t-day dinner for my mom and grandma for the past several years. We have it before T-day or early T-day. They are both in a nursing home and unable to travel the distance to our homes. This year, I just told my step-mom to not be concerned about the gluten, that I would bring left overs from my mom's dinner. Also, I had told her before my first visit (before I even knew her attitude about it) that if I turn something down to eat, its not that I am being rude. Its because I dont want to get sick. Its not worth it. If your parents are not supportive at all then it will be tougher. This will be for the rest of your life, so try to think of how you want this to go now and in the future. Be polite, but firm. I know it would be awesome for them to cook gluten-free, but that is obviously not going to happen, at least anytime soon.

I think by being pro-active before people give you a chance to be unsupportive has helped me. When I go to family or friends, I tell them that, sadly, I won't be able to eat what they serve and give a brief reason as to why. I ask what they plan to serve, so I can bring similar food. I think that takes the burden off of others too. I know that a good friend that is a very patient and understanding person freaked out the first time I came over. He didnt want to make any mistakes or make me feel uncomfortable. It made me realize how stressful it can be on others as well as us.

Anyway, I made my first gluten free dressing this weekend and it turned out great. My mother's recipe is gluten free except the bread. I just subbed gluten-free bread for regular bread and it was great. There are lots of recipes out there. I plan to make green bean casserole this weekend. I googled a recipe and found one that had instructions for making your own french fried onions. Personally for me, dressing, turkey, green bean casserole and my pecan pie are all I care about. I plan to get fresh pecans this year for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Although frustrating, start planning now and it will make you feel a lot better!

bartfull Rising Star
bartfull
Posted

What is it with sisters? I had the same issue and I have decided not to be in the same room with her again. It means we will not see that part of the family on Thanksgiving, and my mom is so upset. But you know, that's okay. Peace is a good thing. We are actually going hiking instead on Thanksgiving and then over to some other relatives on the day after Thanksgiving for a gluten-free meal, since they are gluten-free too. You should read the book "Boundaries", and the section on famlies. Life is too short to put up with someone who hates you - even on Thanksgiving! (I know lots of people will not agree - but if you have someone attacking you in front of other relatives, then - it's best to avoid the whole situation). My mom and I are just getting together on days apart from holidays when my sister is there. Life is much more peaceful!!!

You are important rainer83!

I have a sister like that too! As a matter of fact, she "disowned" the whole family, and now she is my only living relative, but I haven't talked to her in almost eight years. She lives in another state. When I moved here (South Dakota) from Connecticut I thought I should call her to let her know, just in case she ever needed to talk to me. She said she doesn't even want to know me. Well, OK I guess.

I must admit though, after reading some of these posts, it's not too bad being "alone in the world". I can get together with friends on the holidays or I can just stay home. Lately, I and some other single friends who don't have family here have been going to the American Legion, which puts on a FABULOUS meal. I will be bringing my bowl of brown rice with caluiflower and chicken, and eating it at the Legion with my friends.

rainer83 Newbie
rainer83
Posted

What is it with sisters? I had the same issue and I have decided not to be in the same room with her again. It means we will not see that part of the family on Thanksgiving, and my mom is so upset. But you know, that's okay. Peace is a good thing. We are actually going hiking instead on Thanksgiving and then over to some other relatives on the day after Thanksgiving for a gluten-free meal, since they are gluten-free too. You should read the book "Boundaries", and the section on famlies. Life is too short to put up with someone who hates you - even on Thanksgiving! (I know lots of people will not agree - but if you have someone attacking you in front of other relatives, then - it's best to avoid the whole situation). My mom and I are just getting together on days apart from holidays when my sister is there. Life is much more peaceful!!!

You are important rainer83!

Thank you! I'm so relieved to know that I am not alone. People always judge my situation by saying "You can't hate your sister, she's family!" Well, family doesn't treat each other like our sisters do. I usually make a small desert for my parents and I when I come down, and we have that as a family. She's even got her kids against the gluten free life. Every time I make something for Christmas, she tells them not to eat it or they'll get really sick. You're right, life is too short to put up with people like them, which is why I don't. She ruined my life thus far and I'll be damned if I keep letting her ruin Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter!

alex11602 Collaborator
alex11602
Posted
  • Author

I talked to my mom yesterday and she said that she was going to make the stuffing gluten free and would make baked apples for dessert for my family. I was extremely shocked because she has always made the same foods from the same recipes and I am so grateful. I still say that the holidays are a bit trying though.

Katrala Contributor
Katrala
Posted

I just sat down with my cousins this morning to plan our family Thanksgiving.

I'm fortunate, though, in that my family is very supportive and one of my cousins is a manager at a Whole Foods.

We are having some stuff that has gluten and some stuff that isn't. We always have several people bringing stuff and I'm bringing several gluten-free dishes and a gluten-free dessert.

The night before I always have a smaller Thanksgiving at my mom's (we all go to the bigger Thanksgiving the next day) and she is making sure the turkey she makes isn't CCd, so I'm just going to bring some of that with me the next day so I can have turkey as well.

While I know every family isn't like mine, I've found that when dealing with people who just don't get it the best thing is speak up and offer to bring whatever, etc.

Or, if your family is the type that really wants everything to be just-so and perfect, bring peanut butter sandwiches to eat for yourself and mess up the scene. :D

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


  • 2 weeks later...
Bobbie Jo Rookie
Bobbie Jo
Posted

Thank you! I'm so relieved to know that I am not alone. People always judge my situation by saying "You can't hate your sister, she's family!" Well, family doesn't treat each other like our sisters do. I usually make a small desert for my parents and I when I come down, and we have that as a family. She's even got her kids against the gluten free life. Every time I make something for Christmas, she tells them not to eat it or they'll get really sick. You're right, life is too short to put up with people like them, which is why I don't. She ruined my life thus far and I'll be damned if I keep letting her ruin Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter!

Amen sister.

tarnalberry Community Regular
tarnalberry
Posted

Either make the things you usually have gluten free at home and bring food for yourself, eat before hand, or invite people over and make it all gluten-free. Traditions have to change eventually, and all of it can be gluten free, likely without anyone knowing.

katecopsey Newbie
katecopsey
Posted

Not sure that this is going to help you but first of all take a good snack with you so that if you have to sit at the table, you can pick at the food only. Turkey without gravy should be ok, so should mashed potatoes unless they come from a packet (which I have idea if they are gluten-free). Some turkeys can be infused with 'stock/moisturizers' or something but not all of them. How does she make the bean salad? could you make that using gluten-free ingredients?

Of course your husband (and I love that he is supportive - that is so helpful) should tell the family that anything with ingredients that contain flour are not acceptable for you and make you very ill. Being able to be social and with family is important, and the meal is only part of the gathering, so try to be a little more positive and go for the people, and take a few dishes that you make to share.

Good luck!

domesticactivist Collaborator
domesticactivist
Posted

I think the way you are feeling is a normal part of adjusting to your new life. In a way it is a grieving process. Let yourself have those feelings.

On the practical side, we bring our entire meal for our family, and a dish to share. This way cross contamination and our other dietary details don't ruin the holiday. This year we are bringing a turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, veggies of some sort, and squash pie for our family. We are also bringing a green salad to share. It is kind of weird and really is a lot of work, but the family is getting used to us bringing our own food now and it is worth it to us to be able to be there.

cap6 Enthusiast
cap6
Posted

I'm not looking forward to the holiday. T'giving will only be the 3 of us but this is the time when my 98% gluten free household decides that they need gluten bread for turkey sandwiches, gluten stuffing, gluten muffins, gluten pie . "It's not Thanksgiving without it". grrr :angry:

mommida Enthusiast
mommida
Posted

Thank you! I'm so relieved to know that I am not alone. People always judge my situation by saying "You can't hate your sister, she's family!" Well, family doesn't treat each other like our sisters do. I usually make a small desert for my parents and I when I come down, and we have that as a family. She's even got her kids against the gluten free life. Every time I make something for Christmas, she tells them not to eat it or they'll get really sick. You're right, life is too short to put up with people like them, which is why I don't. She ruined my life thus far and I'll be damned if I keep letting her ruin Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter!

So what would she do if she or her kids ended up having Celiac!!!? :unsure:

In life you get to choose your friends.

I'm bringing gluten free safe food to the in-laws for dinner. I should have everything ready for a quick zap in the micro.

For Christmas we stay home and invite famnily over for a fully gluten free meal. My sister comes early to use gluten free flour for her recipes. We have extra time to visit and I know she's my friend too.

When we learn how to give up toxic gluten, we sometimes have a harder time giving up the toxic relationships. ;)

Happy Thanksgiving to all my gluten free Peeps (sorry I'm late for you Canadians)! Celebrate any way you feel is best for you! :)

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Celiac.com:
    Join eNewsletter
    Donate
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):
    Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):



    Celiac.com Sponsors (A17-M):



  • Recent Activity

    1. cristiana
      - cristiana replied to Colleen H's topic in Gluten-Free Foods, Products, Shopping & Medications
      14

      Ibuprofen

      Hi Colleen Are you supplementing B12/having injections? I have learned recently that sometimes when you start addressing a B12 deficiency, it can temporarily make your symptoms worse. But it is important not to stop the treatment. Regarding your problems with anxiety, again that is another symptom of a B12 deficiency. I didn't know...
    2. Jmartes71
      - Jmartes71 posted a topic in Coping with Celiac Disease
      0

      My only proof

      Hello still dancing around my celiac disease and not getting medically backed up considering Ive been glutenfree since 1994.All my ailments are the core issue of my ghost disease aka celiac disease. Im angery because the "celiac specialist " basically lightly dismissed me.Im extremely angery and fighting for a new primary care physician which is hard to do...
    3. Scott Adams
      - Scott Adams replied to wellthatsfun's topic in Coping with Celiac Disease
      1

      still struggling with cravings

      I totally get this. It's absolutely a grieving process, and it's okay to feel gutted about the loss of those simple joys, especially at 18. Your feelings are completely valid—it's not about being ungrateful for your amazing boyfriend, it's about mourning the life you thought you'd have. That "tortured by the smell" feeling is so real. It does get easier, ...
    4. Scott Adams
      - Scott Adams replied to Colleen H's topic in Gluten-Free Foods, Products, Shopping & Medications
      1

      Oh my goodness medication causing pain !!!!

      Many of us with celiac find that the fillers in medications can cause a reaction, and sometimes our bodies just process things weirdly. That "rebound muscle pain" and "burning feet" you described sounds awful and is a huge red flag. It's frustrating enough managing the diet without medication causing setbacks. So sorry you're dealing with this, but you're...
    5. Scott Adams
      - Scott Adams replied to Me,Sue's topic in Post Diagnosis, Recovery & Treatment of Celiac Disease
      1

      Knowing what to do when feeling unwell.

      It's so tough when you're doing everything right and still get hit with it. I'm glad you're figuring out a system that works for you—the peppermint tea and rehydration powders are smart moves. It sounds like you've really learned to listen to your body, and that's half the battle. Sticking to simple, safe food at home is the best way to build yourself back u...
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):


  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      131,871
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748
    GR82BNTX
    Newest Member
    GR82BNTX
    Joined
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.4k
    • Total Posts
      1m
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):


  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • cristiana
      Ibuprofen

      By cristiana · Posted

      Hi Colleen Are you supplementing B12/having injections? I have learned recently that sometimes when you start addressing a B12 deficiency, it can temporarily make your symptoms worse.  But it is important not to stop the treatment.  Regarding your problems with anxiety, again that is another symptom of a B12 deficiency.   I didn't know what anxiety was until it hit me like a train several months before gastrointestinal issues began, so I can certainly relate.   Two books which helped me hugely were At Last A Life by Paul David (there is a website you can look up) and The Depression Cure: The Six-Step Programme to Beat Depression Without Drugs by Dr Steve Llardi.  Although his book is aimed at people who have depression, following the principals he sets out was so helpful in lessening my anxiety.  Llardi suggests we need to focus on getting enough: - physical exercise - omega-3 fatty acids - natural sunlight exposure - restorative sleep - social connectedness - meaningful, engaging activity   ... and we should feel a lot better. That is not to stay you must stop taking medication for depression or anxiety if you have been prescribed it, but adopting the changes Dr Llardi sets out in the book should really help. Can I just ask two more questions:  1) you say that you are B12 deficient, did they test your iron levels too?  If not, you really ought to be checked for deficiency and, 2) did they check your thyroid function, as an overactive thyroid can be cause rapid heartbeat and a lot of coeliacs have thyroid issues? Cristiana        
    • Jmartes71
      My only proof

      By Jmartes71 · Posted

      Hello still dancing around my celiac disease and not getting medically backed up considering Ive been glutenfree since 1994.All my ailments are the core issue of my ghost disease aka celiac disease. Im angery because the "celiac specialist " basically lightly dismissed me.Im extremely angery and fighting for a new primary care physician which is hard to do in Northern Cali.So currently without and looking.Im angery that its lightly taken when its extremely serious to the one who has it.My only evidence is a brochure back in the days when I got news letters when I lived at my parents.It was published in 1998.I was diagnosed before any foods eliminated from my diet. Angery doctors don't take seriously when Im clearly speaking.I did write to the medicine of congress and have case number.
    • Scott Adams
      still struggling with cravings

      By Scott Adams · Posted

      I totally get this. It's absolutely a grieving process, and it's okay to feel gutted about the loss of those simple joys, especially at 18. Your feelings are completely valid—it's not about being ungrateful for your amazing boyfriend, it's about mourning the life you thought you'd have. That "tortured by the smell" feeling is so real. It does get easier, I promise, but it's okay to sit in the sadness and just vent about how much it stings right now. Thanks for sharing that. Celiac.com has published a book on our site by Jean Duane PhD called Gluten-Centric Culture, which covers many of the social aspects of having celiac disease: This chapter in particular covers issues around eating with family and others - Gluten-Centric Culture: Chapter 5 - Grabbing A Bite Together:    
    • Scott Adams
      Oh my goodness medication causing pain !!!!

      By Scott Adams · Posted

      Many of us with celiac find that the fillers in medications can cause a reaction, and sometimes our bodies just process things weirdly. That "rebound muscle pain" and "burning feet" you described sounds awful and is a huge red flag. It's frustrating enough managing the diet without medication causing setbacks. So sorry you're dealing with this, but you're definitely on the right track by connecting the dots. You can search this site for prescriptions medications, but will need to know the manufacturer/maker if there is more than one, especially if you use a generic version of the medication: To see the ingredients you will need to click on the correct version of the medication and maker in the results, then scroll down to "Ingredients and Appearance" and click it, and then look at "Inactive Ingredients," as any gluten ingredients would likely appear there, rather than in the Active Ingredients area. https://dailymed.nlm.nih.gov/dailymed/   
    • Scott Adams
      Knowing what to do when feeling unwell.

      By Scott Adams · Posted

      It's so tough when you're doing everything right and still get hit with it. I'm glad you're figuring out a system that works for you—the peppermint tea and rehydration powders are smart moves. It sounds like you've really learned to listen to your body, and that's half the battle. Sticking to simple, safe food at home is the best way to build yourself back up. It's great you can take the time to rest properly. Thanks for sharing what works; it's a big help to others figuring this out too. This article, and the comments below it, may be helpful:    
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

NOTICE: This site places This site places cookies on your device (Cookie settings). on your device. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use, and Privacy Policy.