Jump to content
  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.




  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):



    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):


  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

A Joke For Today


IrishHeart

Recommended Posts

IrishHeart Veteran

>

>

>

> After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.

>

> He looked at her for a while, then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."

>

> She asks ... "What the hell does that mean?"

>

> He said,"Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous,

> and Hot".

>

> She smiled happily and said ...

> "Oh, that's so lovely. What about I, J, K?"

>

> He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"

>

> The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving his testicles.


Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



  • Replies 75
  • Created
  • Last Reply
Bubba's Mom Enthusiast

LOL! :lol:

kareng Grand Master

Saw this on FB. From Perpetual Kid. Not exactly a joke but a funny idea:

This weekend, you should try walking into a store all panicked and ask what year it is. When they respond with 2012, smile... start laughing uncontrollably and start screaming, "IT WORKED!!! IT WORKED!!!" If you can capture this on video, even better.

IrishHeart Veteran

Saw this on FB. From Perpetual Kid. Not exactly a joke but a funny idea:

This weekend, you should try walking into a store all panicked and ask what year it is. When they respond with 2012, smile... start laughing uncontrollably and start screaming, "IT WORKED!!! IT WORKED!!!" If you can capture this on video, even better.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

I'll do it!!! you know I will....

JNBunnie1 Community Regular

:lol: :lol: :lol:

I'll do it!!! you know I will....

Piece of advice- will be more effective with torn clothing and sticks&twigs in your hair. Just sayin....

kareng Grand Master

Or clothes from the past. Like little house on the prairie or 1920s flapper

IrishHeart Veteran

Funny you mention this!!!

today, (because it was more fun than Spring cleaning <_< )...I was thinking of going with the flapper outfit from when I played Flo in the musical "Good News"....boa and all.

Think it'll work??


Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



kareng Grand Master

An old woman came into her doctor's office and confessed to an embarrassing problem. "I do that all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they're soundless, and they have no odor. In fact, since I've been here, I did it no less than twenty times. What can I do?"

"Here's a prescription, Mrs. Harris. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week."

Next week an upset Mrs. Harris marched into Dr. Johnson's office. "Doctor, I don't know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I'm doing it just as much, but now it smells terrible! What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Calm down, Mrs. Harris," said the doctor soothingly. "Now that we've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your hearing!!!"

IrishHeart Veteran
:lol: :lol: :lol:
  • 2 weeks later...
squirmingitch Veteran

A feel good video for the day:

I guarantee you will be amazed. She's NINETY FOUR!

For all you dancers out there

YOU ARE NEVER TOO OLD TO ENJOY LIFE:)

Mathilda's Solo, something to look forward to?

And she is 94 now!!

Open Original Shared Link

pricklypear1971 Community Regular

I wish I could do that NOW.

mushroom Proficient

OMG, that little lady is wonderful!!! Hat off to her. :)

IrishHeart Veteran

Hey, how did you get your hands on that video of me?.....they said it would not be posted on youtube!!!

:lol:

That chick is SOMETHING!! Rock on, sister!

My parents danced like that. Elegant. Graceful. sigh.

I dance like that, but hubs....er, does not. Two left feet.

He says, you do all the work, babe. So, I dance around him. :lol:

That's right, SQUIRMY, you are never too old to dance.

I still dance, even when I am extra ouchy.

It's good for the soul. :)

squirmingitch Veteran

I can't keep still when the music moves me! And the music moves me ---- well, anytime I hear music!laugh.gif

kareng Grand Master
IrishHeart Veteran

Bubba's Mom Enthusiast
:lol::lol::lol:
JNBunnie1 Community Regular

That reminds me of a coworker I had who complained all the time. He would use that old saying, the squeaky wheel always gets the grease? I got sick of it one day and told him that sometimes the squeaky wheel gets rePLACED. He got fired a week later... :D

IrishHeart Veteran

sometimes the squeaky wheel gets rePLACED. He got fired a week later... :D

:lol: :lol:

sometimes, the universe just rights itself, doesn't it??

IrishHeart Veteran

Heard this one today.

A tough old cowboy from South Texas counseled his grandson

that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to

sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on his oatmeal every morning.

The grandson did this religiously to the age of 103 when he

died.

He left behind 14 children

30 grandchildren

45 great-grandchildren

25 great-great-grandchildren, and a

15-foot crater where the crematorium used to be.

squirmingitch Veteran
laugh.giflaugh.giflaugh.giflaugh.giflaugh.giflaugh.giflaugh.gif
JNBunnie1 Community Regular

GOOD: At Houma, a policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem--a 12-year-old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign, which read 'RADAR TRAP AHEAD.' The officer also found the boy had an accomplice who was down the road with a sign reading 'TIPS' and a bucket full of money. (And we used to just sell lemonade!)

BETTER: A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar post in New Orleans. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.

BEST: A young woman was pulled over for speeding. A Louisiana State Trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book. She said, "I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the State Trooper's Ball." He replied, "Louisiana State Troopers don't have balls." There was a moment of silence. He then closed his book, tipped his hat, got back in his patrol car and left.

kareng Grand Master

GOOD: At Houma, a policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem--a 12-year-old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign, which read 'RADAR TRAP AHEAD.' The officer also found the boy had an accomplice who was down the road with a sign reading 'TIPS' and a bucket full of money. (And we used to just sell lemonade!)

BETTER: A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar post in New Orleans. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.

BEST: A young woman was pulled over for speeding. A Louisiana State Trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book. She said, "I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the State Trooper's Ball." He replied, "Louisiana State Troopers don't have balls." There was a moment of silence. He then closed his book, tipped his hat, got back in his patrol car and left.

Good ones! :D

IrishHeart Veteran

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

It's a good thing it wasn't me driving that car when he said that.

I may not have known to leave well enough alone.

squirmingitch Veteran

Ditto that IH.

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Celiac.com:
    Join eNewsletter
    Donate

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):
    Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):





    Celiac.com Sponsors (A17-M):




  • Recent Activity

    1. - trents replied to Sarah Grace's topic in Related Issues & Disorders
      26

      Headaches / Migraines and Hypoglycaemia

    2. - knitty kitty replied to Sarah Grace's topic in Related Issues & Disorders
      26

      Headaches / Migraines and Hypoglycaemia

    3. - trents replied to Sarah Grace's topic in Related Issues & Disorders
      26

      Headaches / Migraines and Hypoglycaemia

    4. - Scott Adams replied to Russ H's topic in Post Diagnosis, Recovery & Treatment of Celiac Disease
      1

      KAN-101 Treatment for Coeliac Disease

    5. - Scott Adams replied to miguel54b's topic in Related Issues & Disorders
      1

      Body dysmorphia experience


  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):



  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      132,153
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748

    Mmoc
    Newest Member
    Mmoc
    Joined

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):


  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.5k
    • Total Posts
      1m

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):





  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):



  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • trents
      This article does not address migraines at all.  Yes, red wine and sulfites are often mentioned in connection with migraine triggers. With me, any kind of alcoholic beverage in very modest amounts will reliably produce a migraine. Nitrous oxide generators, which are vaso dialators, also will give me migraines reliably. So, I think most of my migraines are tied to fluctuations vascular tension and blood flow to the brain. That's why the sumatriptan works so well. It is a vaso constrictor. 
    • knitty kitty
      Excessive dietary tyrosine can cause problems.  Everything in moderation.   Sulfites can also trigger migraines. Sulfites are found in fermented, pickled and aged foods, like cheese.  Sulfites cause a high histamine release.  High histamine levels are found in migraine.  Following a low histamine diet like the low histamine Autoimmune Protocol diet, a Paleo diet, helps immensely.    Sulfites and other migraine trigger foods can cause changes in the gut microbiome.  These bad bacteria can increase the incidence of migraines, increasing histamine and inflammation leading to increased gut permeability (leaky gut), SIBO, and higher systemic inflammation.   A Ketogenic diet can reduce the incidence of migraine.  A Paleo diet like the AIP diet, that restricts carbohydrates (like from starchy vegetables) becomes a ketogenic diet.  This diet also changes the microbiome, eliminating the bad bacteria and SIBO that cause an increase in histamine, inflammation and migraine.  Fewer bad bacteria reduces inflammation, lowers migraine frequency, and improves leaky gut. Since I started following the low histamine ketogenic AIP paleo diet, I rarely get migraine.  Yes, I do eat carbs occasionally now, rice or potato, but still no migraines.  Feed your body right, feed your intestinal bacteria right, you'll feel better.  Good intestinal bacteria actually make your mental health better, too.  I had to decide to change my diet drastically in order to feel better all the time, not just to satisfy my taste buds.  I chose to eat so I would feel better all the time.  I do like dark chocolate (a migraine trigger), but now I can indulge occasionally without a migraine after.   Microbiota alterations are related to migraine food triggers and inflammatory markers in chronic migraine patients with medication overuse headache https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11546420/  
    • trents
      Then we would need to cut out all meat and fish as they are richer sources of tyrosine than nuts and cheese. Something else about certain tyrosine rich foods must be the actual culprit. 
    • Scott Adams
      I agree that KAN-101 looks promising, and hope the fast track is approved. From our article below: "KAN-101 shows promise as an immune tolerance therapy aiming to retrain the immune system, potentially allowing safe gluten exposure in the future, but more clinical data is needed to confirm long-term effects."  
    • Scott Adams
      Thank you so much for having the courage to share this incredibly vivid and personal experience; it's a powerful reminder of how physical ailments can disrupt our fundamental sense of self. What you're describing sounds less like a purely psychological body dysmorphia and more like a distinct neurological event, likely triggered by the immense physical stress and inflammation that uncontrolled celiac disease can inflict on the entire body, including the nervous system. It makes complete sense that the specific sensory input—the pressure points of your elbows on your knees—created a temporary, distorted body map in your brain, and the fact that it ceased once you adopted a gluten-free diet is a crucial detail. Your intuition to document this is absolutely right; it's not "crazy" but rather a significant anecdotal data point that underscores the mysterious and far-reaching ways gluten can affect individuals. Your theory about sensory triggers from the feet for others is also a thoughtful insight, and sharing this story could indeed be validating for others who have had similar, unexplainable sensory disturbances, helping them feel less alone in their journey.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

NOTICE: This site places This site places cookies on your device (Cookie settings). on your device. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use, and Privacy Policy.