Jump to content

  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):

    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

"you Can Eat Just A Little Bit, Can't You?"

Monklady123

By Monklady123
in Coping with Celiac Disease

Recommended Posts

Monklady123 Collaborator
Monklady123
Posted

Yeah, I know we've been around this topic more than once. I'm just feeling irritated so thought I'd put my mini-rant here.

I'm in a training program to get certification in my field (chaplain). I attend class one day a week, and do clinical hours the other days. We've been in this class since September. Six of us and the supervisor. The same six. Every single week for lunch the others see me bring my lunch. We've talked a lot about food sensitivities and diets because one woman is allergic to peppers, and another has diabetes. So yesterday one woman brought in a king cake. She said to me "oh you can have just a small piece, can't you?" Before I could say anything the allergic-to-peppers woman said "No! She can't!" lol..

So the king cake lady passes around pieces of cake. Truly I didn't mind not having any. I'm not much of a cake person to begin with (exceptions made for chocolate cake with chocolate icing), it was 9:30 a.m., and I really don't care.

After lunch we came back to the conference room and there's cake left. She starts urging everyone to have another piece, and she says again "One piece won't hurt, will it?" :rolleyes: Seriously? oy. So I said "would you be pushing S. [allergic to peppers lady] to eat a bell pepper if you had it? No? So how is this different?" She actually said, to my face, "Oh, well isn't this more of a 'choice' than something like an allergy?"

:angry:

And yep, I fully understand that a lot of people do gluten free as a diet choice. But by this time -- after all these weeks, and us being such a small group, and as many times as it's come up... well anyway, omg.

In the grand scheme of things it's not important. It was just irritating.

So now I want chocolate cake with chocolate icing. lol. I always keep a few boxes of Betty Crocker's gluten-free mix in my pantry. I think I see a cake in my future. :lol:

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


pricklypear1971 Community Regular
pricklypear1971
Posted

I think you should make her a deal. You'll eat a bite of gluteny food if she eats a bite of arsenic. Sounds square to me.

GFinDC Veteran
GFinDC
Posted

I was at a Christmas dinner at teh pastor's house and they're father-in-law who is gluten-free was there. They had a plate of Christmas cookies out on the table as we were standing there taking. So he crunches one down. Then he told me about being sick for a few days eairlier in the week form eating too much gluten. It was Christmas and you aren't supposed to punch people on Christmas, Especially at the pastor's house. I guess we all choose our own poison.

Marilyn R Community Regular
Marilyn R
Posted

In MHO, she's clearly watching way too much entertainment TV and reading too many magazines.

I applaud you for your restraint and decorum. I probably would have had to had to bring up Adam and Eve and the apple, or GFinDc's quote in his tag line from Job.

Happy Mardi Gras anyway, and way to go!

Takala Enthusiast
Takala
Posted

I would hate to see what sort of other self-destructive behaviors this person is encouraging others to do. Sounds like she's two fries short of a Happy Meal to me. :blink::o

gatita Enthusiast
gatita
Posted

Sounds like she's two fries short of a Happy Meal to me. :blink::o

OK, I just gotta use that line as soon as I can... LOL...

Well, my diagnosis (so far) is "wheat allergy" because it turns out I really am allergic to wheat. But of course that's the expression all the not-really-needing-to-do-this vanity gluten-free dieters use, so now I sound just like one of them. :(

I just want to scream, " No! I -- really -- AM -- allergic -- to -- freakin' -- wheat!!!!!"

Sheesh...

Em314 Explorer
Em314
Posted

After lunch we came back to the conference room and there's cake left. She starts urging everyone to have another piece, and she says again "One piece won't hurt, will it?" :rolleyes: Seriously? oy. So I said "would you be pushing S. [allergic to peppers lady] to eat a bell pepper if you had it? No? So how is this different?" She actually said, to my face, "Oh, well isn't this more of a 'choice' than something like an allergy?"

That's really bizarre... even if you didn't have celiac and just plain didn't *want* the cake, she should have taken no for an answer. You shouldn't "need" a "legit medical reason" not to eat cake.

I think you should make her a deal. You'll eat a bite of gluteny food if she eats a bite of arsenic. Sounds square to me.

Ironically, there really was a debate awhile ago that was all over the news for a bit about how much arsenic is "acceptable." Open Original Shared Link

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


GF Lover Rising Star
GF Lover
Posted

Co-workers Open Original Shared Link

This is why I don't work well with others.

Monklady123 Collaborator
Monklady123
Posted
  • Author

"That's really bizarre... even if you didn't have celiac and just plain didn't *want* the cake, she should have taken no for an answer. You shouldn't "need" a "legit medical reason" not to eat cake."

(not sure why I can't get the quote feature to work...) -- Anyway, no, if you knew this woman you'd know it isn't really bizarre, it's just the way she is. She's a total food pusher. But -- I'm going to get her next week [insert evil laugh here]. Part of these classes is "group time". :rolleyes: (I am SO not a group person). I'm going to ask her point blank why she feels the need to push food on people, especially when there's a medical reason why that person can't eat it. I think I need to google "food pusher" to find out what the psychology behind it is. This woman is one of those who always has to have the answer, and if she doesn't she makes one up. So I'm sure it has something to do with that.

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

"That's really bizarre... even if you didn't have celiac and just plain didn't *want* the cake, she should have taken no for an answer. You shouldn't "need" a "legit medical reason" not to eat cake."

(not sure why I can't get the quote feature to work...) -- Anyway, no, if you knew this woman you'd know it isn't really bizarre, it's just the way she is. She's a total food pusher. But -- I'm going to get her next week [insert evil laugh here]. Part of these classes is "group time". :rolleyes: (I am SO not a group person). I'm going to ask her point blank why she feels the need to push food on people, especially when there's a medical reason why that person can't eat it. I think I need to google "food pusher" to find out what the psychology behind it is. This woman is one of those who always has to have the answer, and if she doesn't she makes one up. So I'm sure it has something to do with that.

Good idea! I think this should be brought up in front of your instructor.

The thing that stood out for me is you and the Food pusher are studying to be a chaplain. Did she not just fail the class for that behavior? Can you imagine a newly diagnosed Celiac or cancer patient or diabetic going to her for some moral support counseling and being told its OK to ignore the medical advice sometimes?

gatita Enthusiast
gatita
Posted

"even if you didn't have celiac and just plain didn't *want* the cake, she should have taken no for an answer. You shouldn't "need" a "legit medical reason" not to eat cake."

So true!!! :angry:

Monklady123 Collaborator
Monklady123
Posted
  • Author

Good idea! I think this should be brought up in front of your instructor.

The thing that stood out for me is you and the Food pusher are studying to be a chaplain. Did she not just fail the class for that behavior? Can you imagine a newly diagnosed Celiac or cancer patient or diabetic going to her for some moral support counseling and being told its OK to ignore the medical advice sometimes?

Hmm...I think I figured out the quote thing. lol... And, you are absolutely right! This is a national training program called CPE -- Clinical Pastoral Education -- and believe me they're all about getting you to look at your own issues and work on how that could impact your ability to provide pastoral care. If the supervisor hasn't already noted down this woman's food pushing she will after I bring it up in the group session next week.

This woman has other issues that have come out during the time we've met, so I'm not surprised by this. She's only in her first unit though (we need four units, plus 1,000 more hours after the completion of the 4th unit, before we can apply for certification) so she'll learn as she goes along.

(oh, and I did make my chocolate cake last night. yummm) B)

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Hmm...I think I figured out the quote thing. lol... And, you are absolutely right! This is a national training program called CPE -- Clinical Pastoral Education -- and believe me they're all about getting you to look at your own issues and work on how that could impact your ability to provide pastoral care. If the supervisor hasn't already noted down this woman's food pushing she will after I bring it up in the group session next week.

This woman has other issues that have come out during the time we've met, so I'm not surprised by this. She's only in her first unit though (we need four units, plus 1,000 more hours after the completion of the 4th unit, before we can apply for certification) so she'll learn as she goes along.

(oh, and I did make my chocolate cake last night. yummm) B)

I kept thinking about this. I'm not sure the "food pushing" is really a problem. If she had a bag of those little oranges and kept telling everyone they were good, have one, it wouldn't be unusual. We had a mom at Robotics doing that. Got most of the kids to eat a fuit with thier lunch!

What is odd and rather mean - is insisting that someone eat cake that she knows can't eat cake. Then telling the person she knows has a disease that its all in her head or a fad is cruel. Either that or she hasn't listened to what anyone has said. If she is that self-absorbed and can't listen to others' problems, she shouldn't be a chaplain or counselor.

tarnalberry Community Regular
tarnalberry
Posted

No, I'm going to argue that doing it with oranges would be bad too.

Not because someone might be allergic, or just not want them, but because she's showing disrespect. Even at two, I'm working with my daughter on the concept of respecting the answers people give you to your questions. And this lady is NOT doing that.

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

No, I'm going to argue that doing it with oranges would be bad too.

Not because someone might be allergic, or just not want them, but because she's showing disrespect. Even at two, I'm working with my daughter on the concept of respecting the answers people give you to your questions. And this lady is NOT doing that.

Yea. You're right. I guess there is a difference between offering and, after being told "NO Thanks, I can't", still trying to get someone to eat it.

What I was trying to say is that people like to feed others. But there is a line between offering and insisting.

Marilyn R Community Regular
Marilyn R
Posted

It's like someone trying to shove food down your throat.  Some people try to shove religion down your throat, and that rarely works.  I suspect she'll find out about that eventually, or flutter around clueless, bestowing misdeeds on innocent people who could benefit from a chaplain.

Em314 Explorer
Em314
Posted

Hmm...I think I figured out the quote thing. lol... And, you are absolutely right! This is a national training program called CPE -- Clinical Pastoral Education -- and believe me they're all about getting you to look at your own issues and work on how that could impact your ability to provide pastoral care. If the supervisor hasn't already noted down this woman's food pushing she will after I bring it up in the group session next week.

This woman has other issues that have come out during the time we've met, so I'm not surprised by this. She's only in her first unit though (we need four units, plus 1,000 more hours after the completion of the 4th unit, before we can apply for certification) so she'll learn as she goes along.

(oh, and I did make my chocolate cake last night. yummm) B)

I may or may not be alone in this, but I'm kind of curious to know how it goes when you bring it up.

 

There are quite a few reaosns people "food-push;" some are cultural, some are nurturing, but sometimes also much less benign.  In the latter case, people with their own food issues will try to drag others down so they're "not the only one."  Sort of the way heavy drinkers feel especially uncomfortable around teetotallers even if the teetotallers aren't making an issue of it- the heavy drinkers feel like their alcohol use is spotlighted/feel judged/etc., and may push everyone around them to drink so they don't feel "like an alcoholic" (or some variant of that sentiment) by contrast.  (And yes, I've seen this happen- with food, and with booze.)

Luv2teach Rookie
Luv2teach
Posted

My mom has a good analogy for people who just don't get it and say "a little bit won't hurt you though." she says, "it's just like if someone has a peanut allergy, it doesn't matter if they have one peanut or a handful, it still does the same damage and they would have a bad reaction. Celiac is the same, just a little bit is just as bad as eating a whole

Bowl of pasta." now, yes we know celiac isn't an allergy but it still gets the point across as most people can understand the peanut thing. :)

Coryad Rookie
Coryad
Posted

Ugh some people  :angry:  I had something similar happen recently.... working lunch, they ordered a huge salad (for me and the vegetarians) it was SWIMMING in croutons!!! So the meeting organizer starts picking the croutons out and making me a plate LOL (I could see crouton pieces all over the plate)  She said "oh one or two won't hurt you"....  Luckily I had brought my back-up stash of food, but honestly  :blink:

tarnalberry Community Regular
tarnalberry
Posted

Ugh some people  :angry:  I had something similar happen recently.... working lunch, they ordered a huge salad (for me and the vegetarians) it was SWIMMING in croutons!!! So the meeting organizer starts picking the croutons out and making me a plate LOL (I could see crouton pieces all over the plate)  She said "oh one or two won't hurt you"....  Luckily I had brought my back-up stash of food, but honestly  :blink:

I would absolutely, without hesitation, look them in the eye, and with full sincerity, ask "With what scientific evidence do you make that statement?"

mushroom Proficient
mushroom
Posted

I just got off the phone with a friend who asked me if I was still doing "that gluten thing"??  Me:  I don't have any choice.  She:  Not even a little bit??? :rolleyes:   Come off it, Lesley, I've been gluten free for five years!!!!  Where you been?

troykm Apprentice
troykm
Posted

My mom has a good analogy for people who just don't get it and say "a little bit won't hurt you though." she says, "it's just like if someone has a peanut allergy, it doesn't matter if they have one peanut or a handful, it still does the same damage and they would have a bad reaction. Celiac is the same, just a little bit is just as bad as eating a whole

Bowl of pasta." now, yes we know celiac isn't an allergy but it still gets the point across as most people can understand the peanut thing. :)

 

 

I use the peanut allergy thing now too. I tell people take celiac as seriously as you would a peanut allergy. I know that its not quite the same but at least they "get it" after that. 

troykm Apprentice
troykm
Posted

I may or may not be alone in this, but I'm kind of curious to know how it goes when you bring it up.

 

There are quite a few reaosns people "food-push;" some are cultural, some are nurturing, but sometimes also much less benign.  In the latter case, people with their own food issues will try to drag others down so they're "not the only one."  Sort of the way heavy drinkers feel especially uncomfortable around teetotallers even if the teetotallers aren't making an issue of it- the heavy drinkers feel like their alcohol use is spotlighted/feel judged/etc., and may push everyone around them to drink so they don't feel "like an alcoholic" (or some variant of that sentiment) by contrast.  (And yes, I've seen this happen- with food, and with booze.)

I have this issue at work. Over the last 2 years i have lost a lot of weight. (not celiac related, i chose to loose it)

 

Because people at work only ever saw me fat, they dont realise that normal weight for me is quite thin, but because they are all overweight i now get waves of "oh your too thin" "you look ill" "are you sick?" And i want to punch them all out LOL

Marilyn R Community Regular
Marilyn R
Posted

I know this is seriously off topic, sorry a lot.

 

  I had the same thing  happen at work too!  Co-workers harped constantly about me being too thin! Yada yada.

 

I finally went to the biggest gossip (and one of the most overweight) people in the office in confidence.  I told her I was sick of people commenting about me being underweight. 

 

"When I had a fat A..., nobody said a word.  Don't tell anyone, but it's really bothering me that everybody picks on me now that I've lost weight."

 

Honestly, that worked like majic overnight.  Poof!

IrishHeart Veteran
IrishHeart
Posted

Title of the  topic thread caught my eye and I have to tell you guys my GI doc told me last week that he heard from his patient that a 

doc around here gave a presentation to a local celiac group and concluded with the comment that "it's okay to cheat once and a while because the diet is too stringent and a little bit won't hurt."

 

I said  Holy crap, that's grounds for malpractice if you ask me! He could not have agreed more.

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):


  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      131,856
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748
    Sonya Haskin
    Newest Member
    Sonya Haskin
    Joined
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.4k
    • Total Posts
      1m
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):


  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • Jillian83
      Celiac and dermatitis herpetiformis has taken Me from Me

      By Jillian83 · Posted

      He is. Which makes everything even more difficult. I’m not a believer in “staying for the kids” but I have nowhere to go and it’s not just me, it’s me plus my babies. We live in a beautiful place, lots of land in the country and me and the kids love the place we’ve called home for their entire lives. But Im seeing that he’ll never change, that my kids deserve a happy healthy Momma, and that staying in this as is will be the early death of me. Then I look at the scars covering my entire body…this disease and the chronic stress I’ve been enduring for years that tell me I’m no longer beautiful and no one will ever look at me with interest again. I try self care, try to give myself grace so I can just start loving myself enough to gain strength but the slightest sparkle in my eye and skip in my step attracts his wrath and it all comes crashing ten fold. Life is just absolutely railing me from every single direction leaving me wanting to wave that white flag bc I don’t feel like there’s much hope no matter what happens. 
    • trents
      Celiac and dermatitis herpetiformis has taken Me from Me

      By trents · Posted

      Is this man the father of your children?
    • Jillian83
      Celiac and dermatitis herpetiformis has taken Me from Me

      By Jillian83 · Posted

      Hi, I was recently diagnosed with Celiac and dermatitis herpetiformis after years of suffering without answers. I lost my mind. I lost my job. I lost so much time. I lost Me. Conventional doctors are opulent come near me and the one who did sat across the room, misdiagnosed me, pumped me full of steroids which collapsed my entire hip for 6 months. So without answers I began my holistic journey. Fast forward a couple of years and still struggling with a mysterious whole body itchy, crawling “skin hell”, perfect teeth now deteriorating, thick hair now thinning rapidly and no more than a day or 2 at most relief….An acquaintance opened up a functional medicine practice. Cash only, I found a way. Within a month tests clearly showing my off the charts gluten allergy/sensitivity as well as the depletion of vital nutrients due to leaky gut and intestinal damage. dermatitis herpetiformis was more than likely what I was experiencing with my skin. I was happy. I thought this is easy, eat healthy Whole Foods, follow the diet restrictions and I finally get to heal and feel confident and like myself again very soon! 😔 Supplements are very pricey but I got them and began my healing. Which leads to the other major issue: not working, stay at home Mom of young kids, entirely financially dependent on my man of 7 plus years. He’s never been supportive of anything I’ve ever done or been thru. He controls everything. I’m not given much money ever at a time and when he does leave money it’s only enough to possibly get gas. His excuse is that I’ll spend it on other things. So my “allowance” is inconsistent and has conditions. He withholds money from me as punishment for anything he wants. Since being diagnosed, he’s gained a new control tactic to use as punishment. He now is in control of when I get to eat. He asked for proof of my diagnosis and diet bc he said I made it up just to be able to eat expensive organic foods. Then after I sent him my file from my doctor he then said she wasn’t a real doctor. 😡. I go days upon days starving, sometimes breaking down and eating things I shouldn’t bc I’m so sick then I pay horribly while he gets annoyed and angry bc I’m not keeping up with all the duties I’m supposed to be doing. His abuse turns full on when I’m down and it’s in these desperate times when I need his support and care the most that I’m punished with silence, being starved, ignored, belittled. He will create more of a mess just bc I’m unable to get up and clean so that when I am better, I’m so overwhelmed with chores to catch up that the stress causes me to go right back into a flare from hell and the cycle repeats. I’m punished for being sick. I’m belittled for starving and asking for healthy clean water. I’m purposely left out of his life. He won’t even tell me he’s going to the grocery or to get dinner bc he doesn’t want me to ask him for anything. I have no one. I have nothing. Im not better. My supplements ran out and I desperately need Vitamin D3 and a methylated B complex at the very minimal just to function….he stares at me blankly…no, a slight smirk, no words. He’s happiest when im miserable and I am miserable.  this is so long and im condensing as much as I can but this situation is so complicated and disgusting. And it’s currently my life. The “IT” girl, the healthy, beautiful, perfect skin, perfect teeth, thick and curly locks for days, creative and talented IT girl….now I won’t even leave this house bc Im ashamed of what this has dont to my body, my skin. Im disgusted. The stress is keeping me from healing and I think he knows that and that’s why he continues to keep me in that state. He doesn’t want me confident or successful. He doesn’t want me healed and healthy bc then how would he put the blame of all his problems on me? This journey has been hell and I’ve been in Hell before. I’ve been killed by an ex, I’ve been raped, robbed, held hostage, abused beyond nightmares but the cruelty I’ve experienced from him bc of this disease is the coldest I’ve ever experienced. I’ve wanted to give up. Starving and in tears, desperate…I found a local food pantry in our small town so I reached out just saying I had Celiac and was on hard times. This woman is blessing me daily with prepared gluten free meals, donations, educational info, people who know this disease and how they manage life and the blessings just keep coming. But it’s overwhelming and I feel like I don’t deserve it at all. He just glared and I know he’s going to sabotage it somehow. I don’t even know what to do anymore. I’m so broken and just want peace and healing. 
    • cristiana
      Ibuprofen

      By cristiana · Posted

      @Colleen H   I am just curious,  when you were tested for coeliac disease, did the doctors find out if you had any deficiencies? Sometimes muscle pain can be caused by certain deficiencies, for example, magnesium, vitamin D, calcium, and potassium.   Might be worth looking into having some more tests.  Pins and needles can be neuropathy, again caused by deficiencies, such as iron and B12,  which can be reversed if these deficiencies are addressed. In the UK where I live we are usually only tested for iron, B12 and vitamin D deficiencies at diagnosis.   I was very iron anemic and supplementation made a big difference.  B12 was low normal, but in other countries the UK's low normal would be considered a deficiency.  My vitamin D was low normal, and I've been supplementing ever since (when I remember to take it!) My pins and needles definitely started to improve when my known deficiencies were addressed.  My nutritionist also gave me a broad spectrum supplement which really helped, because I suspect I wasn't just deficient in what I mention above but in many other vitamins and minerals.  But a word of warning, don't take iron unless blood tests reveal you actually need it, and if you are taking it your levels must be regularly monitored because too much can make you ill.  (And if you are currently taking iron, that might actually be making your stomach sore - it did mine, so my GP changed my iron supplementation to a gentler form, ferrous gluconate). Lastly, have you been trying to take anything to lessen the pain in your gut?  I get a sore stomach periodically, usually when I've had too much rich food, or when I have had to take an aspirin or certain antibiotics, or after glutening.  When this happens, I take for just a few days a small daily dose of OTC omeprazole.  I also follow a reflux or gastritis diet. There are lots online but the common denominators to these diets is you need to cut out caffeine, alcohol, rich, spicy, acidic food etc and eat small regularly spaced meals.   When I get a sore stomach, I also find it helpful to drink lots of water.  I also find hot water with a few slices of ginger very soothing to sip, or camomile tea.  A wedge pillow at night is good for reflux. Also,  best not to eat a meal 2-3 hours before going to bed. If the stomach pain is getting worse, though, it would be wise to see the doctor again. I hope some of this helps. Cristiana    
    • Me,Sue
      Knowing what to do when feeling unwell.

      By Me,Sue · Posted

      I was diagnosed with coeliac disease a couple of years ago [ish]. I love my food and a variety of food, so it's been hard, as it is with everyone. I try and ensure everything I eat doesn't contain gluten, but occasionally I think something must have got through that has gluten in. Mainly I know because I have to dash to the loo, but recently I have noticed that I feel nauseous after possibly being glutened. I think the thing that I have got better at is knowing what to do when I feel wiped out after a gluten 'episode'. I drink loads of water, and have just started drinking peppermint tea. I also have rehydration powders to drink. I don't feel like eating much, but eventually feel like I need to eat. Gluten free flapjacks, or gluten free cereal, or a small gluten free kids meal are my go to. I am retired, so luckily I can rest, sometimes even going to bed when nothing else works. So I feel that I am getting better at knowing how to try and get back on track. I am also trying to stick to a simpler menu and eat mostly at home so that I can be more confident about what I am eating. THANKS TO THOSE WHO REPLIED ABOUT THE NAUSEA .
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

NOTICE: This site places This site places cookies on your device (Cookie settings). on your device. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use, and Privacy Policy.