Jump to content
This site uses cookies. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. More Info... ×
  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.




  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):



    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):


  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Celiac.com!
    eNewsletter
    Donate

How To Overocome Frustration, Fear,


1desperateladysaved

Recommended Posts

1desperateladysaved Proficient

:(I have felt that My family was preferring gluten to me. I just found out that my family feels rejected too. Which is more important, my health or them? Can I treat them kindly even though I feel rejected, frustrated and misunderstood?

I hope the Lord will help me to do just that. I don't feel like I can heal without their supporting me.

How does one remember that they do not deserve anything?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



beachbirdie Contributor

:(I have felt that My family was preferring gluten to me. I just found out that my family feels rejected too. Which is more important, my health or them? Can I treat them kindly even though I feel rejected, frustrated and misunderstood?

I hope the Lord will help me to do just that. I don't feel like I can heal without their supporting me.

How does one remember that they do not deserve anything?

I don't have an answer for your question, but I did want to stop and send a {{{{HUG}}}} your way. Finding out one has this condition and making all the required life changes is a BIG deal, and a stressor for everyone in different ways.

It sounds like you are a person of faith, so I hope you won't be offended if I respond from my faith...sometimes we are called to endure things in order to build and strengthen us; if we keep our eyes on the Author of faith and keep our trust and obedience focused there, we can get through most anything!

Hope you are feeling a little better about things today!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
ravenwoodglass Mentor

It is tough at first. It is a big adjustment for you and for them. It will get easier in time when you are feeling better and your family can see the differences in you.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Adalaide Mentor

I have to second the thought that sometimes we are given hard things in order to help us become better people. When I look back on my life I see that through every hard thing I was given, I learned something valuable. This diagnosis is a struggle for us, and we go through so much that it can be hard to appreciate that it can be hard on friends and family too. To be perfectly honest, I have a hard time having patience with others when they say or do really monumentally stupid things.

If your family is also struggling maybe it would be helpful to sit down and really talk things out. Sometimes when people take the time to really try to understand where the other person is coming from it can really smooth things out.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
FoodisLife12 Newbie

Since you seem to be a person of faith, as mentioned here a few times, I will respond with something I learned in my faith that has helped me in all aspects of my life, but I want to preface this by saying im not trying to force my faith on anyone. When I come across a situation like this I have to remind myself that although people say I am the one with the "impairment", it is only a physical problem that in the grand scheme of things, should not hinder others views of us. However, this is a naive way to live because someone somewhere will always have a problem with it because they don't understand. So, my advice would be to stand up for yourself and show your family unconditional love. Keep your food separate from theirs and if you cook family meals, use separate pots/pans/utensils. Cook your food last so that you can take the time to protect yourself. No matter how much they try to push you around on the subject, show them that the obstacles can be overcome and you still care regardless. After a while, they will catch on. No one likes change, because change signifies having to adapt, and no one wants to leave their comfort zone.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
GFinDC Veteran

:(I have felt that My family was preferring gluten to me. I just found out that my family feels rejected too. Which is more important, my health or them? Can I treat them kindly even though I feel rejected, frustrated and misunderstood?

I hope the Lord will help me to do just that. I don't feel like I can heal without their supporting me.

How does one remember that they do not deserve anything?

Hi Diana,

Both your health and your family are important, it is not a matter of which is more important. You need to be healthy and they need to adjust a little to the reality of what it takes for you to be healthy. People often are slow to adopt change and many don't welcome it at all. But they can learn to do things differently just as you can learn to eat differently. It may not be an over night process though, it could take a while.

It is not a bad thing to let them know how you are feeling. They have feelings also and sharing them can help.

Maybe they would be willing to read the FAQ or newbie info threads? Or print it out for them to read? It might help them understand better.

FAQ Celiac com

https://www.celiac.com/gluten-free/forum-7/announcement-3-frequently-asked-questions-about-celiac-disease/

Celiac Newbie Info 101

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Celiac.com:
    Donate

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):
    Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):





    Celiac.com Sponsors (A17-M):




  • Recent Activity

    1. - Scott Adams replied to Nacina's topic in Related Issues & Disorders
      1

      14 year old with Celiac & EOE still suffering...

    2. - Nacina posted a topic in Related Issues & Disorders
      1

      14 year old with Celiac & EOE still suffering...

    3. - trents replied to Fluka66's topic in Celiac Disease Pre-Diagnosis, Testing & Symptoms
      5

      Waiting for urgent referral.

    4. - Fluka66 replied to Fluka66's topic in Celiac Disease Pre-Diagnosis, Testing & Symptoms
      5

      Waiting for urgent referral.

    5. - Moodiefoodie replied to Moodiefoodie's topic in Related Issues & Disorders
      9

      Joint swelling when ill even on gluten-free diet


  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):



  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      121,063
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748

    Nacina
    Newest Member
    Nacina
    Joined

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):


  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      120.3k
    • Total Posts
      1m

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):





  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):



  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • Scott Adams
      It sounds like you've been through a lot with your son's health journey, and it's understandable that you're seeking answers and solutions. Given the complexity of his symptoms and medical history, it might be beneficial to explore a few avenues: Encourage your son to keep a detailed journal of his symptoms, including when they occur, their severity, any triggers or patterns, and how they impact his daily life. This information can be valuable during medical consultations and may help identify correlations or trends. Consider seeking opinions from specialized medical centers or academic hospitals that have multidisciplinary teams specializing in gastrointestinal disorders, especially those related to Celiac disease and Eosinophilic Esophagitis (EOE). These centers often have experts who deal with complex cases and can offer a comprehensive evaluation. Since you've already explored alternative medicine with a nutrition response doctor and a gut detox diet, you may want to consider consulting a functional medicine practitioner. They take a holistic approach to health, looking at underlying causes and imbalances that may contribute to symptoms. Given his low vitamin D levels and other nutritional markers, a thorough nutritional assessment by a registered dietitian or nutritionist specializing in gastrointestinal health could provide insights into any deficiencies or dietary adjustments that might help alleviate symptoms. In addition to routine tests, consider asking about more specialized tests that may not be part of standard screenings. These could include comprehensive stool analyses, food intolerance testing, allergy panels, or advanced imaging studies to assess gut health.
    • Nacina
      Hello, I am a 45 year old mom, who was diagnosed at 29 with Celiac. My now 14 year old son was diagnosed just before his 4th birthday. Needless to say, we are old pros with the diet. He was experiencing some issues, overall health took a major plummet a year ago, and through a bit of work, was diagnosed with EOE. Tried diet alone, but his follow up endoscopy didn't show the improvements his DR. wanted to see, so I tried the medication. (Steroid). He became extremely backed up, and they had him taking Miralax daily. His health plummeted. He is a straight A honor's 8th grader who plays club soccer very competitively. His health continued to decline and at 13 had a colonoscopy and another upper gi. (He was still compacted even with the prep). I finally pulled him off all meds and mira lax, after reading much negative literature online, and put him on a gut detox diet and took him to a nutrition response dr. Finally things have improved. However...over a year later and he is having relapse stomach pain, debilitating stomach pain. Missing a day of school a week, to three this week. This is where we downward spiral with him. He says it doesn't feel the same as when he has gotten backed up before. He is eating prunes, taking his supplements, drinking water...all of the things. Yet, he is feeling horrible. Pain is abdomen, headache, lethargy, diarrhea . He is on a strict gluten dairy, egg free diet. He has adapted well in regards to diet. But I feel like we are missing something here. He is too active, too outgoing to be feeling sick all of the time. His Bilirubin is constantly high. His white blood count always runs slightly low. His vitamin D was very low last time he ran tests, (last month) when he was sick for a week. His celiac markers show negative, so it isn't that. His last endoscopy showed no Eosinaphils in his esophagus.  I have taken him to multiple Ped. Gastro specialists. They run tests, and we get zero answers. I meticulously go through labs, hoping to make some sense and maybe catch something. Any thoughts or ideas would greatly be appreciated. 
    • trents
      But if you have been off of wheat for a period of weeks/months leading up to the testing it will likely turn out to be negative for celiac disease, even if you actually have celiac disease. Given your symptoms when consuming gluten, we certainly understand your reluctance to undergo  the "gluten challenge" before testing but you need to understand that the testing may be a waste of time if you don't. What are you going to do if it is negative for celiac disease? Are you going to go back to merrily eating wheat/barley/rye products while living in pain and destroying your health? You will be in a conundrum. Do I or do I not? And you will likely have a difficult time being consistent with your diet. Celiac disease causes inflammation to the small bowel villous lining when gluten containing grains are consumed. This inflammation produces certain antibodies that can be detected in the blood after they reach a certain level, which takes weeks or months after the onset of the disease. If gluten is stopped or drastically reduced, the inflammation begins to decrease and so do the antibodies. Before long, their low levels are not detectable by testing and the antibody blood tests done for diagnosing celiac disease will be negative. Over time, this inflammation wears down the billions of microscopic, finger-like projections that make up the lining and form the nutrient absorbing layer of the small bowel where all the nutrition in our food is absorbed. As the villi bet worn down, vitamin and mineral deficiencies typically develop because absorption is compromised. An endoscopy with biopsy of the small bowel lining to microscopically examine this damage is usually the second stage of celiac disease diagnosis. However, when people cut out gluten or cut back on it significantly ahead of time before the biopsy is done, the villous lining has already experienced some healing and the microscopic examination may be negative or inconclusive. I'm not trying to tell you what to do I just want you to understand what the consequences of going gluten free ahead of testing are as far as test results go so that you will either not waste your time in having the tests done or will be prepared for negative test results and the impact that will have on your dietary decisions. And, who are these "consultants" you keep talking about and what are their qualifications? You are in the unenviable position that many who joint this forum have found themselves in. Namely, having begun a gluten free diet before getting a proper diagnosis but unwilling to enter into the gluten challenge for valid testing because of the severity of the symptoms it would cause them.
    • Fluka66
      Thank you very much for your reply. I hadn't heard of celiac disease but began to notice a pattern of pain. I've been on the floor more than once with agonising pain but this was always put down to another abdominal problem consequently I've been on a roundabout of backwards and forwards with another consultant for many years. I originally questioned this diagnosis but was assured it was the reason for my pain. Many years later the consultant gave up and I had a new GP. I started to cut out certain food types ,reading packets then really started to cut out wheat and went lactose free. After a month I reintroduced these in one meal and ended screaming in agony the tearing and bloating pain. With this info and a swollen lymph node in my neck I went back to the GP.  I have a referral now . I have also found out that acidic food is causing the terrible pain . My thoughts are this is irritating any ulcers. I'm hoping that after a decade the outlook isn't all bad. My blood test came back with a high marker but I didn't catch what it was. My GP and I have agreed that I won't go back on wheat just for the test due to the pain , my swollen lymph node and blood test results.  Trying to remain calm for the referral and perhaps needed to be more forceful all those years ago but I'm not assertive and consultants can be overwhelming. Many thanks for your reply . Wishing you all the best.
    • Moodiefoodie
      Wow! Fascinating info. Thanks so much! I really appreciate the guidance. @Spacepanther Over the years I have had rheumatologists do full lab work ups on me. They told me they had screened me for arthritis, lupus, and Lyme disease (all negative). In addition to joint pain and stiffness I had swelling in both knees that later moved to my elbow as well.  I also experience stiffness and pain in my neck and shoulders when it flares. I vomited fairly often growing up, but there wasn’t a real pattern to it and I didn’t know it wasn’t normal (thought people caught stomach viruses often).  I don’t usually have stomach symptoms immediately after eating gluten that I notice.  The only other joint condition I know of is fibromyalgia. Good luck! Hope you can get it figured out. I only assumed my joint symptoms were due to the celiac’s because it is under control for the most part on a gluten-free diet.  The rheumatologist also mentioned that some inflammatory/autoimmune diseases can be slow-moving and not detectable until they progress.
×
×
  • Create New...