TRUSTING OTHERS about GLUTEN! how do you know if someone has used gluten free flour?

[jmssl]

How to identify gluten free food? 

Ok when prepacked food is labelled gluten free i know it pretty certain it is. (But then u have certain products recalled due to gluten mistakes etc) creating lack of trust.

But my main issue leading to posting this is home made food by others

If someone tells you its home made and i gluten free.. how do u know they know what they're saying is true?  Apart from the possibility they lie to save hassle cos no doubt us celiacs are hassle! But .... do they fully understand what gluten free means so that it definately is. Ie someone could to the beat of their knowledge have made it gluten free but not know that they've contaminated it or that they've used ingredients that they believe is gluten free but mite not be in my eyes. 

Am i on my own or are there other celiacs with trust issues?

[Gemini]

1 hour ago, jmssl said:

How to identify gluten free food? 

Ok when prepacked food is labelled gluten free i know it pretty certain it is. (But then u have certain products recalled due to gluten mistakes etc) creating lack of trust.

But my main issue leading to posting this is home made food by others

If someone tells you its home made and i gluten free.. how do u know they know what they're saying is true?  Apart from the possibility they lie to save hassle cos no doubt us celiacs are hassle! But .... do they fully understand what gluten free means so that it definately is. Ie someone could to the beat of their knowledge have made it gluten free but not know that they've contaminated it or that they've used ingredients that they believe is gluten free but mite not be in my eyes. 

Am i on my own or are there other celiacs with trust issues?

Rule of thumb is never, ever eat food someone else has prepared unless it's another Celiac who prepares it and you know without a doubt they know what they are doing.  Not too hard, huh?  

I have been diagnosed and gluten-free for 11 years and have learned that very few people actually get it, as far as cc and prep are concerned.  They really mean well but in today's world, people have no clue what is in the food they eat, which bodes really bad for us.  They do not understand cc, either.  I have to tell them to think of Celiac as a peanut allergy, with regards to preparation. Only it's not an allergy which causes anaphylaxis but an intolerance which causes all sorts of unpleasant symptoms, with the smallest amount of a hit.  By this time, their head is spinning so I gave up and only eat what I prepare.  I have a few really great restaurants that get it right, but they have been through allergy training, which most people never do.  My family think I am totally anal but they are another bunch of clueless wonders and I don't care anymore. 

I really do not think of it as a trust problem, rather the rest of the world is uneducated on food ingredients and healthy eating. You know, my niece was just diagnosed with Celiac and you would think she would get it after listening to me for the past 11 years but sadly, she doesn't. She told me over the week-end it was "no big deal and easy to do. All the restaurants I go to have gluten-free menu's."  I didn't say anything to her about the fact we cannot eat out all that much or be sick a lot. I just can't go there anymore so she is going to learn the hard way.

Eat safe......which means your own cookin'!  

[squirmingitch]

2 hours ago, Gemini said:

Rule of thumb is never, ever eat food someone else has prepared unless it's another Celiac who prepares it and you know without a doubt they know what they are doing.  Not too hard, huh?  

I have been diagnosed and gluten-free for 11 years and have learned that very few people actually get it, as far as cc and prep are concerned.  They really mean well but in today's world, people have no clue what is in the food they eat, which bodes really bad for us.  They do not understand cc, either.  I have to tell them to think of Celiac as a peanut allergy, with regards to preparation. Only it's not an allergy which causes anaphylaxis but an intolerance which causes all sorts of unpleasant symptoms, with the smallest amount of a hit.  By this time, their head is spinning so I gave up and only eat what I prepare.  I have a few really great restaurants that get it right, but they have been through allergy training, which most people never do.  My family think I am totally anal but they are another bunch of clueless wonders and I don't care anymore. 

I really do not think of it as a trust problem, rather the rest of the world is uneducated on food ingredients and healthy eating. You know, my niece was just diagnosed with Celiac and you would think she would get it after listening to me for the past 11 years but sadly, she doesn't. She told me over the week-end it was "no big deal and easy to do. All the restaurants I go to have gluten-free menu's."  I didn't say anything to her about the fact we cannot eat out all that much or be sick a lot. I just can't go there anymore so she is going to learn the hard way.

Eat safe......which means your own cookin'!  

Amen!

[icelandgirl]

Brilliant answer by Gemini!

I won't eat anything prepared by anyone other than myself or my hubby or another celiac.  Even people with the best of intentions don't get it.  My own mother would have glutened me on Thanksgiving if I hadn't asked the questions I did.  Lesson learned there...doing Thanksgiving myself from now on!

 

[RMJ]

I eat at my brothers' houses but I watch them prepare the food and grab every bottle/jar to check the ingredients.

[Gemini]

My own sister, who is the smartest sibling out of the 4 of us, and works in health care in a lab where she does all the testing so you know cc and good protocol are essential........she looked at me like I had a screw loose when I told her I could not eat her Thanksgiving turkey because she had stuffed it with wheat bread.  What about the gravy she made in the same pan?  This is what I did.......    Are you freakin' serious????????????

I always do Thanksgiving at my house and they don't come over to eat. Partly because they all have their own families who they cook for but they seem to think I eat crappy food.  It never occurred to them you can make some kick-ass stuffing with gluten-free bread..........

[rockstarkate]

I'm relatively newly diagnosed (5 months) but I have already figured out not to eat other people's cooking unless I am really sure they know what they're doing. I make a big point of telling friends when they invite me to dinner or a party that I absolutely do not want them to go to any trouble, that it is extremely important to me to be very sure that I am eating food that is gluten free, and that I will be more than happy to bring something for myself so they don't have to worry and I don't have to worry and they don't have to feel bad if they were to mess up and use something with gluten or cross-contaminate.

I find it all pretty difficult because I am a people-pleaser and hate to be a bother to others. I worry about annoying them. But we have to put our own health first, so I feel like I am doing a better thing by letting them off the hook.

Now I do have a couple of people who I trust really really get it because they have a lot of experience with cooking for celiacs. That's a different story. But most people, just no. Sorry not worth it.

[cap6]

Six years g.f. and my absolute rule is never eat at anyone's home unless they are also celiac.  That rules out everyone except for one friend!  Every time I bent the rule I got sick.  It can be as easy as someone using the wrong spoon.  Not worth it.  I always take a little something for myself and no one questions it any more.  It was hard in the beginning but everyone is used to my food "quirks" now. 

[luvs2eat]

My rule is that if I don't make it, I won't eat it. I take all of my own food to work and won't even use cooking stuff there. I have two friends I trust to cook for me... real foodies who totally get gluten-free.

[DownWithGluten]

Wow you all have more balls than I do. I've been gluten free since 2007 and I'm still afraid of offending people. It gives me lots of troubles, really. I'm more like rockstarkate I guess...the "people pleasing" aspect.  I love how you all just have the flat out rule I Will Not Eat It Unless I or a Celiac Made it. (Or a trusted family member).  I still simper and grovel and cringe and apologetically turn things away.  People still put dishes in my face and say "This should be gluten free..."  and I have to awkwardly not eat it and then seem rude.  I've done the whole...checking the bottles thing too. 

I do try to dart out of things more though now. I volunteered in other countries in recent years and I felt as vulnerable as all heck, having to rely on them to make food, as well as definitely feeling like I offended people who didn't get it at all. I was feeling brave when I signed up for those but after the second time I was like okay, the fear/anxiety/stress about the food is too much. I managed to dodge out of getting sick, and for the most part people humored me...but it was pretty difficult because I don't like offending people, especially other cultures, with them trying to be nice and make food for me...pretty sure I did offend people as well as annoy many others. 

Anyway...no OP, you are not alone. For sure I have trust issues eating other people's food. They say they know but I do truly doubt they are as strict as I would be.   A few times I will still brave eating something...like some little mozzarella balls with vinegar...though, I did still look at the labels.  Someone had to give me a persuasive speech and show me all ingredients (just salt and pepper) after making me chicken wings once. I do tell people, basically, NOT to make me stuff. But they still do.  Another time a friend had worked really hard and was having a terrible time and offered me a burger patty when I arrived, assuring me it was gluten free. I knew I hadn't been there to watch whether she used the "bun spatula" on it or not...but I just didn't feel like giving her a fight about it since she was having a rough time and hosts like to feel they are feeding guests, blah blah. So I ate it. And got glutened. And wailed and gnashed my teeth haha. Lesson learned. 

I need to stick to my guns more. I just always feel like I'm being too "difficult" as it is. But...sigh.  It is refreshing for me to read these empowered no BS responses though. You all remind me of where I'm coming from, and not that I'm just being some kind of high maintenance, rude, crazy person.

You'd think after, what, nine years now, I wouldn't still be bothered by it...

[Gemini]

It can be difficult to refuse food from others but, with time, you can learn to not let it bother you.  Yeah, easier said than done, I know.  But your sense of humor came through in places in your post so use that to make "empowered no BS responses"!  

[Midwitch]

No one in my wider family gets it, although my sister is certainly trying to understand. She gets that I will bring all food for my coeliac kids when we come for meals and is okay with that. 

 

For other social events, I will suggest the meal is at my place so I can control the gluten.  But my biggest battle is my children's father (my ex husband) who refuses to get it, and thinks I am being stupid and trying to prevent him seeing V.  I have offered that V can visit but not eat nor stay the night.  Ex does not have the means or the brains to manage gluten free meals. 

 

At this point it looks like I may need to go to court to get an order to prevent V from being forced to go and get glutened. I really really hope to avoid this, but its not looking good. 

[MissyBB]

I don't know. Before  I went gluten-free I knew of other celiacs and often made goodies for them even though I was still a wheat-eater. I was always VERY careful. Never used plastic anything. Made sure I super cleaned counters and glass bowls and metal utensils before hand etc.  No one ever got cc'd.

I think it depends on how educated you think that person is.