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Santa Is A Celiac


celiachap

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celiachap Apprentice

The “Santa” that we see today is not realistic. He was created by Coca Cola and Macy’s after 19th century stories, poems, and illustrations. The real Santa would be skinny, or he would never have been capable of going down chimneys. The reason that he is skinny, despite millions of bowls of porridge and glasses of ale on Xmas, is that he has Celiac Disease – which is more common in Northern Europe, his original home. I am not addressing the “Saint Nick” myth of his being from Turkey – Celiac is not common there, as it is in Germanic societies.

Even Oscar the Grouch knew that there is something seriously wrong with the picture of a fat Santa, when he said, "How's a guy like Santa Claus -- who's built like a dump truck -- how's he gonna come down all those skinny little chimneys, huh? That's like trying to get a basketball into a gingerale bottle!"

Somebody that could fit down a chimney, as in young person, is pictured here:

Open Original Shared Link

The Swedish/Scandanavian Santa, “tomte”, is described as:

“The tomte was imagined as a man in height of four feet or less with a knitted cap, a long beard and grey clothes. He is similar in aspect to a leprechaun, brownie, a gnome or a dwarf. Like the brownie, the tomte or nisse needed gifts, but this gift was a bowl of porridge or rice pudding on Christmas night. If he wasn't given his payment, he would leave the farm or house which couldn't survive without his nightly chores, or engage in mischief, such as tying the cows' tails together in the barn, turning objects upside-down, and breaking things (cf. poltergeist).” Open Original Shared Link

Jul Tomte (which means “little Christmas man”) in Sweden

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Here are some images that show what Santa probably looks like:

Open Original Shared Link

Open Original Shared Link

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Not really “skinny” here, but not fat, either (on the bottom of the Ebay page):

Open Original Shared Link

And, finally, here’s some “elves” bringing out: CHRISTMAS BREAD!

Open Original Shared Link


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Guest gfinnebraska

Thanks for the info! As a Swede myself, I found it very interesting. ;)

celiaccecilia Newbie
The “Santa” that we see today is not realistic. He was created by Coca Cola and Macy’s after 19th century stories, poems, and illustrations. The real Santa would be skinny, or he would never have been capable of going down chimneys. The reason that he is skinny, despite millions of bowls of porridge and glasses of ale on Xmas, is that he has Celiac Disease – which is more common in Northern Europe, his original home. I am not addressing the “Saint Nick” myth of his being from Turkey – Celiac is not common there, as it is in Germanic societies.

Ha ha your funny

celiac3270 Collaborator

Absolutely! It's CELIAC! And both the made up Santa impersonator and the skinny Santa have it. The fake Santa (big, plump, red suit Santa) has Celiac disease--he actually suffers from distention, painful bloating, etc. Being that he is eating gluten at every house, the bloating is persistent, hence the drawings immortalize this. "Real" Santa, as you mentioned, consumes gluten-containing ingredients, but rather than bloat, stays very thin--malabsorption, no doubt. That would also explain his very short stature.

Well, here's our celiac celebrity. :D

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