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I've Thrown In The Towel

Nantzie

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Nantzie Collaborator
Nantzie
Posted

Well, I've been gluten free pretty much since the end of December. I thought it would be easy to keep eating gluten during Christmas, but it wasn't. Once I did a couple of few-day trials off gluten just to make sure I was barking up the right tree, it was a slippery slope to gluten free. I kept doing a few days off here and there, planning going off so I'd feel better during Christmas while we had relatives here. The "trials" kept getting longer and longer until I just didn't go back.

I've made several attempts to eat gluten, but I just can't make myself do it. The way I approach gluten now really reminds me of watching those people on Fear Factor try and eat bugs and stuff. I can't stand even the thought of eating it. If someone were to put something in front of me and try and talk me into eating it, I think I'd cry.

I've even tried to pick days or times of the day when I could load up on gluten. But I've got a 2yo and a 3yo. If I eat gluten in the morning, I'm so exhausted, in pain, headachey and easily irritated that I spend all day snapping at every little thing they do, and end up getting so upset with myself because I don't want to be like that with my kids. If I eat it in the evening after the kids go to sleep, I can't sleep, and then I end up being tired and irritated the next day.

I have a really great friend who listens to all my drama, and when I talk to her about my struggles about whether or not I should try to eat gluten for the biopsy, and how hard it is to even think about eating it, I start sounding like a drug addict. Except instead of being addicted to a thing (like a drug), I'm addicted to the lack of a thing. I no more want to eat gluten than a drug addict wants to get off drugs. They know they should, but they just can't make themselves. It also now makes sense to me how a person can become addicted to something after only trying it once. You just want that feeling back. Except MY feeling is how I feel not eating gluten.

I hope that makes sense... :lol:

So, I've got my GI consultation next week. I've never seen this doctor, so I have no idea what type of attitude he has about all this celiac / gluten intolerance stuff. I've decided to keep the appt and just tell him what I've experienced, and get his opinion on it. I do have a family history of stomach cancer, so I want to get an endoscopy/colonoscopy anyway, just to make sure everything is healthy in there. I'll bet I can get him to take a biopsy while he's doing that anyway, just to see if there's any damage, although with my blood work, I'm not expecting there would be.

So, that's what's going on with me.

Nancy

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wolfie Enthusiast
wolfie
Posted
  Nantzie said:
Well, I've been gluten free pretty much since the end of December. I thought it would be easy to keep eating gluten during Christmas, but it wasn't. Once I did a couple of few-day trials off gluten just to make sure I was barking up the right tree, it was a slippery slope to gluten free. I kept doing a few days off here and there, planning going off so I'd feel better during Christmas while we had relatives here. The "trials" kept getting longer and longer until I just didn't go back.

I've made several attempts to eat gluten, but I just can't make myself do it. The way I approach gluten now really reminds me of watching those people on Fear Factor try and eat bugs and stuff. I can't stand even the thought of eating it. If someone were to put something in front of me and try and talk me into eating it, I think I'd cry.

I've even tried to pick days or times of the day when I could load up on gluten. But I've got a 2yo and a 3yo. If I eat gluten in the morning, I'm so exhausted, in pain, headachey and easily irritated that I spend all day snapping at every little thing they do, and end up getting so upset with myself because I don't want to be like that with my kids. If I eat it in the evening after the kids go to sleep, I can't sleep, and then I end up being tired and irritated the next day.

I have a really great friend who listens to all my drama, and when I talk to her about my struggles about whether or not I should try to eat gluten for the biopsy, and how hard it is to even think about eating it, I start sounding like a drug addict. Except instead of being addicted to a thing (like a drug), I'm addicted to the lack of a thing. I no more want to eat gluten than a drug addict wants to get off drugs. They know they should, but they just can't make themselves. It also now makes sense to me how a person can become addicted to something after only trying it once. You just want that feeling back. Except MY feeling is how I feel not eating gluten.

I hope that makes sense... :lol:

So, I've got my GI consultation next week. I've never seen this doctor, so I have no idea what type of attitude he has about all this celiac / gluten intolerance stuff. I've decided to keep the appt and just tell him what I've experienced, and get his opinion on it. I do have a family history of stomach cancer, so I want to get an endoscopy/colonoscopy anyway, just to make sure everything is healthy in there. I'll bet I can get him to take a biopsy while he's doing that anyway, just to see if there's any damage, although with my blood work, I'm not expecting there would be.

So, that's what's going on with me.

Nancy

That completely makes sense to me. I have been faced with a similar dilemma, except I have just seen the gastro dr and she wants me to do the biopsy. Problem with me is that I have already gone gluten-free and don't want that to effect the test results. I am not sure that I could make myself eat gluten again at this point either. The difference off gluten is AMAZING to me. Sure my symptoms haven't completely disappeared, but I have maybe 10% of the issues I had before, after just 1 week on the diet. I have wrestled with myself for days about this and am driving myself nuts! LOL! I have an appt Mon with my PCP in hopes that we can figure something out. She ran my blood work and only advised gluten-free...I am the one who asked to see the gastro. Guess I should be careful what I ask for, huh?

Hang in there! ((HUGS))

ravenwoodglass Mentor
ravenwoodglass
Posted
  Nantzie said:
Well, I've been gluten free pretty much since the end of December. I thought it would be easy to keep eating gluten during Christmas, but it wasn't. Once I did a couple of few-day trials off gluten just to make sure I was barking up the right tree, it was a slippery slope to gluten free. I kept doing a few days off here and there, planning going off so I'd feel better during Christmas while we had relatives here. The "trials" kept getting longer and longer until I just didn't go back.

I've made several attempts to eat gluten, but I just can't make myself do it. The way I approach gluten now really reminds me of watching those people on Fear Factor try and eat bugs and stuff. I can't stand even the thought of eating it. If someone were to put something in front of me and try and talk me into eating it, I think I'd cry.

I've even tried to pick days or times of the day when I could load up on gluten. But I've got a 2yo and a 3yo. If I eat gluten in the morning, I'm so exhausted, in pain, headachey and easily irritated that I spend all day snapping at every little thing they do, and end up getting so upset with myself because I don't want to be like that with my kids. If I eat it in the evening after the kids go to sleep, I can't sleep, and then I end up being tired and irritated the next day.

I have a really great friend who listens to all my drama, and when I talk to her about my struggles about whether or not I should try to eat gluten for the biopsy, and how hard it is to even think about eating it, I start sounding like a drug addict. Except instead of being addicted to a thing (like a drug), I'm addicted to the lack of a thing. I no more want to eat gluten than a drug addict wants to get off drugs. They know they should, but they just can't make themselves. It also now makes sense to me how a person can become addicted to something after only trying it once. You just want that feeling back. Except MY feeling is how I feel not eating gluten.

I hope that makes sense... :lol:

So, I've got my GI consultation next week. I've never seen this doctor, so I have no idea what type of attitude he has about all this celiac / gluten intolerance stuff. I've decided to keep the appt and just tell him what I've experienced, and get his opinion on it. I do have a family history of stomach cancer, so I want to get an endoscopy/colonoscopy anyway, just to make sure everything is healthy in there. I'll bet I can get him to take a biopsy while he's doing that anyway, just to see if there's any damage, although with my blood work, I'm not expecting there would be.

So, that's what's going on with me.

Nancy

Well it sounds like you have your answer when it comes to the gluten issue. Be very specific about your reaction to gluten, it may help if you write it down. My GI wanted me to do a challenge, it made me so sick I couldn't make it to the appointment for the endo. When I saw him at the follow up he gave me the diagnosis and an apology for misdiagnosing me for 5 miserable years. Some US doctors are finnally waking up to celiac and realizing that the dietary elimination and challange are the proof they need. I hope the appointment goes well for you, even though it seems they will simply be confirming what you already know, the endo with your family history would be a good idea for your peace of mind. Best Wishes

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