Accused Of Neglect

[sillyactsue]

My two year old has not gained any weight or rather kept any gained weight since December. I have had her to doctors and next month she is going to a gastrointerologist. She is breast fed and we have been gluten/casein free (interolab diagnosis) since April. I am told that it can take up to a year for her body's systems to adjust to a gluten free diet before she starts gaining. She is very healthy and since we started this new diet has gotten off of her allergy medicine. I suspect soy also and legumes, so I have her off of those until we can get more test done. I am also in the middle of a divorce. My husband who gets two one hour supervised visitations a week is accusing me of neglect. He's crazy but with all that I have been reading of ridicules accusations being acted on I admit I am a bit shaky. Please pray for us.

[AndreaB]

That's all you need with everything else you little girl has gone through.

Will keep you situation in my prayers.

[Ursa Major]

Are you able to get a doctor's note, stating that your daughter's weight problems are not your fault, that she has celiac disease, and that everything is being done for her, to show to the judge? Do you have people, other than family (like a minister for instance) who can testify on your behalf if necessary, to confirm that you're a good mother?

I hope everything goes well, I will pray for you and your little one.

[Guest nini]

DOCUMENT EVERYTHING... Get Dr.s notes specifying why she is small, not gaining weight and on the gluten-free diet... This is the last thing you and your daughter need right now, but I will pray that you will have a positive outcome from this. You are well within your rights to be feeling shaky right now, there has been too much of this going on, when will the world wake up and realize we aren't neglecting our kids, that there is something wrong... At least you KNOW what is making her small, when my daughter was a baby and I had a dr. threaten to call DFCS on me because she wasn't gaining weight, (and they mentioned the dreaded Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy) I was very freaked and very scared. I was lucky that the Dr. didn't pursue that line of reasoning and that eventually both my daughter and myself were correctly dx'ed with Celiac. Others have not been so lucky.

We have REALLY got to increase awareness of this insidious condition and get more support from people instead of accusations.

I'm so sorry you are going through a difficult divorce and your ex is being so nasty, I hope you have a really good attorney.

[Rikki Tikki]

I doubt the Court will give much weight to him if all he has is supervised visits but to be sure I would give her doctor records to your attorney

My prayers are with you and be sure to let us know

[VydorScope]

I fully agree, you should win this no problem. You have documented proof of seeing doctor visits to treat a food related condtion. If you have a good laywer and a decent judge, he should win this case with ease.

As for him. What a freaking {insert unchristian like comment}

[Rikki Tikki]

As for him. What a freaking {insert unchristian like comment}

[Judyin Philly]

will keep you and your family in my prayers.

hugs

Judy

[mouse]

I am sure that everything will turn out. But, be sure and give all documentation to your lawyer. Don't leave anything to chance. I will also pray for you and your daughter.

[sillyactsue]

Ursula,

Thanks for the doctors note idea. I will take it and medical records. Yes, I have friends rallying around.

She doesn't have Celiac, she has gluten/casien sensitivity. You know, so it's even harder to prove. All the doctors agree with Enterolab but are afraid to officially say that a non FDA approved diagnosis is accurate.

The bad part is that last year my husband was diagnosed with celiac. That is how I knew to have her tested. He knows what her problem is and is using it.

Thanks Nini, I do have a good attorney. He is behind me all the way. He is sick of my husbands insane abuse.

VydorScope, I laughed outloud at your unchristian like insert. Trust me, I have inserted several, several times.

Thanks everyone for your prayers. I know what kind of mom I am and so does he. I have a 22 yr. old and and 18 year old also and dozens of people who have watched me raise them. I guess the scary part is knowing that the courts have made bad decisions about so many good people. I need to go breath, turn to my Lord and remember that I'm not in control and that is a good thing.and the Judge isn't in control either. God is.

Thanks for your understanding and support.

[KaitiUSA]

That is so not cool. I will keep you all in my prayers. I hope things work out well

[Canadian Karen]

Ooooooh, what a tool!

I hope that once the Judge is properly filled in on gluten intolerence and the fact that your HUSBAND is the one with Celiac Disease and should know better, I hope the Judge gives him a good tongue lashing for pulling a stunt like this!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.................

Hugs.

Karen

[kabowman]

When my ex tried that with my boys, I called and saw their doctors and requested notes of how often Mom brought them in and how often Dad brought them in - some documented this, others did not but the ones that didn't, we started and still do. Even though my kids are older, he could try to pull this one again, sometime, even if we do get along now. The last time, I just gave in and said he doesn't have to pay any support ever again because he is self employed and I cannot prove his income, which he hid from the IRS when we were together so why would that change?

Like Nini said, document EVERYTHING!!!! I still do even though it has been about 6 years since we finished with all that. You just never know when it might come in handy again and it doesn't hurt or take much time.

Talk to their caregivers and see if they are willing to give a written statement that maybe they don't have to pick sides (I actually used teachers) and to tell the judge that you are not a bad person, not that he is either, even if he is unstable but not in public.

I didn't use most of my documentation (or much at all) but I had it to back me up just in case and I was able to read back and refresh my memory so that when it was time to talk to the judge, I had dates/times/issues.

Good luck.

[StrongerToday]

Document document document!! And the document it all again. Bring extra copies for the judge.

Stay strong!!

[Mamato2boys]

What a punk !! I agree with everyone about getting documentation, and I too think you'll win this with no problem - especially since your ex only has supervised visits and has the very illness that your dc has.

[jenvan]

Ursula,

Thanks for the doctors note idea. I will take it and medical records. Yes, I have friends rallying around.

She doesn't have Celiac, she has gluten/casien sensitivity. You know, so it's even harder to prove. All the doctors agree with Enterolab but are afraid to officially say that a non FDA approved diagnosis is accurate.

The bad part is that last year my husband was diagnosed with celiac. That is how I knew to have her tested. He knows what her problem is and is using it.

Thanks Nini, I do have a good attorney. He is behind me all the way. He is sick of my husbands insane abuse.

VydorScope, I laughed outloud at your unchristian like insert. Trust me, I have inserted several, several times.

Thanks everyone for your prayers. I know what kind of mom I am and so does he. I have a 22 yr. old and and 18 year old also and dozens of people who have watched me raise them. I guess the scary part is knowing that the courts have made bad decisions about so many good people. I need to go breath, turn to my Lord and remember that I'm not in control and that is a good thing.and the Judge isn't in control either. God is.

Thanks for your understanding and support.

There is some really good advice here, so I will just chime in with some prayers. Praying faith, courage and perseverance for you.

OH, and praying that whoever is involved making a decision will be discerning and see the truth of it all...

[ylimaf]

You should prepare yourself for all possibilities!!!! My daughters dad raped my sister and he still got custody. There was a lack of paper work!!!!!!!!!!!! She didnt file a police report!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I did get one of them back. Take extreme care. Fare warnning in Texas they like giving custody to the dad!!!!!!!!!!!!

GET THAT PAPER WORK. It is really painfull to lose your children to someone you know will harm you kids.

[aprilh]

I am sorry! I have heard of this happening and can not believe it does! It is terrible. My advice would be to keep records galore. No matter what happens at court. I would still keep records. You never know what your husband might do next! That way you don't have to scramble.

I would also get a lot of information together, print it out, about how celiac causing inability to grow in babies then outline in a letter what the dr's are advising you to do diet wise. Also, outline the dx and any other points you need to make. Make copies of the whole package and send certified mail with return receipt. That way he cannot deny he got it. You will have your ducks in a row if it ever came to DSS getting involved. And he cannot say he wasn't informed. I find that people like to point fingers and judge without knowing what the &*$% they are talking about!

Also, keep all records. Keep in date order listing what you and the dr. talked about, any dx, EVERYTHING. Keep it on your computer and just add to it.

YOu may even want to keep a feeding schedule since you are breastfeeding. With all of those notes and records I don't see how you could EVER lose.

[Rusla]

Anderea I am sure that SOB of an ex will get what he deserves. I am sure if they gave her to him she would go down hill rapidly because he would stuff her with gluten. It is horrible what some men will do to hurt the person they used to be married to and the lies they make up to get out of paying child support. This is a ploy to get out of paying you in the divorce.