The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[tom]

Gads!!! I hate the bus stop . . . how old do the kids have to be before I can send them out on there own??

I've always heard 8 for boys and 6 for accompanying siblings.

whyyyyyyyyy-Yulled weather!!

[Green12]

Susie, I'm so glad you found that and reposted it, it's beautiful

Alex, it's your special day and you should make it what you want it to be.....2 in the bridal party or 16, casual and laid back or formal, it's your day!

[Ridgewalker]

gotta hold down the rewind button << a little longer

Emily started it off by recounting <no pun intended .. . . ..no really> the tale of her DH's running total, updated by email through the day w/ an astounding triple-digits by dinner and .. . . .how'd it go? "after dinner, all hell broke loose" ROFL

Her adding that the avg was 10-18 per day sealed it. How could we NOT launch Project Fart Chart?

Whaaaaaat?????? I take a few days "off" and come back to Fart Charts?! (I gotta go back and see what other good stuff I missed.)

Ezra has strep throat again... which would be why I'm up at 2am.

A funny from last night:

You know how they say that after you've been married awhile, you start to take on each other's mannerisms, expressions, almost read each other's thoughts? Well... I guess this is how that comes out in us--

Brian and I were sitting in the living room after the kids went to bed, watching Everybody Loves Raymond... and suddenly out of nowhere, we let out simultaneous belches. He immediately held up his hand, and I high-fived him.

[psawyer]

Good Morning, sillies. Hey, I got here before either of Emily or Amanda today. But Sarah was here even before me (welcome back). Yeah, you missed the phabulous phart phrequency exercise.

[blueeyedmanda]

OMG Emily we were beat today!

Good Morning Sillies

It is a wind tunnel outside today, 60 mph winds and the temps are starting to fall, so by the end of the work day it will feel like 20 in stead of the 48 when I left the house.

Happy Hump Day!

[elye]

Good Morning, Peter!!

Well, the bizarre weather has crept northward...DS and I were sitting at breakfast, looking at the snow falling out the patio door, and we suddenly saw a HUGE flash of lightning. I blinked, thinking it had to be imagined, but no, a loud rumble of thunder followed. Jack informs me that this rare atmospheric happening is known as "thundersnow". Never seen this before....

P.S.

six

Oh, psilly pholks phart around. Most don't keep kount it is found.

3.

You gluten-free gentlemen are now low-octane. This is good...I await with bated breath the colossal change that may well take place in my DH's lower intestine, effective next week.

surgery? what?! Well, Babs, nice to have you back. no sign of Richard. Now we are beyond worried, adn just plain......furious. Bev is going to give her famous Dutch Oven treatment later on tonight.

.....OMG...or the Machine Gun Manoveur...

Funny how one notices these things now.

Yes....my children know all about this hilarious development in Sillyville, and my son apparently took the story to school with him, and shared it with his classmates in circle time. Oh, Gawd....

"My mom knows these other celiacs, and talks to them on the internet. They are keeping count of their farts for 12 hours, and reporting their number to each other throughout the day". OMG OMG. I have a meeting there today at three.

The Passive-Aggressive Act of Parting by Farting.

Dunno if I'd actually break up with someone due to excessive flatulence, if that were the only concern. B.O.? Absolutely. Something MUCH worse about that, for some reason.

Her adding that the avg was 10-18 per day sealed it. How could we NOT launch Project Fart Chart?

...astonishing double digits...!!

Susie, I'm so glad you found that and reposted it, it's beautiful

Susie, did you send it to a local paper? It should have been published as an obituary. Just beautiful.

... and suddenly out of nowhere, we let out simultaneous belches. He immediately held up his hand, and I high-fived him.

You guys were meant to be...

Hey!! Do burps count in our Charting of Farts?

[blueeyedmanda]

A few years ago, John and I drove through a snow squall on the way to scranton. Scariest thing ever. White-out conditions, cars off the road...Thunder and Lightining. It was nuts!

[Mtndog]

First, I've found Open Original Shared Link Bring it on!!!!!!

And Uncle ray says hi! Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth. On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.

[Ridgewalker]

The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.

:lol:

But Bev.... Your avatar is FREAKING ME OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Mtndog]

But wait. According to our recent Fart Chartage, we seem to have a deArth of flatus in our group. With the exception of nicola, of course, who doth Fart for England.

I mean, I"ve only had three today....and many days there are ZERO.

Yay!!!!!! A new silly!!!!!!!!!!!!! There's a short exam.....Emily? She proctors it......and yes, a smurf song will be required.

A dearth? I think NOT! Most of mine are doubles- sometimes even triples! They always smell like flowers!

So there's my 2 scents on the Fart Chart.

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night with my heart pounding and my mind swirling with guest list issues. Ack. I want a wedding planner! It seems so much more real now that we set a date. Is it weird to only have a maid of honour and a best man and no others in the wedding party? So many things to figure out!

No No no - the MOST important thing is that you plan a wedding that's fun for YOU! If you have fun, everyone else will too!!!!!

No, but I think you can count on us to be the embarrassing drunk relative(s) that talk too loud and . . . fart.

Oh yeah....and i don't even need to be drunk!!!!!!!

Bev is going to give her famous Dutch Oven treatment later on tonight. :lol:

:lol:

Happy Hump Day!

This always cracks me up!!! I imagine a man who was into frottaging (Open Original Shared Link) made that term up too! Yeah- I get to hump everyone on the bus on my way to work today because it's HUMP day!!!!!!!!!

But Bev.... Your avatar is FREAKING ME OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok- consider it gone!!!!!! Really- hit reload (Eemily will surely recognize this symbol of her esteemed country!)

[Mtndog]

I dropped her off at the vet and just wept on the 30-minute drive home, and composed this in my head:

Blood work $65

TumoUr removal $175

Dental cleaning $45

Anal gland expression (gads) $12

IV fluids $60

Biopsy of tumoUr $50

Tranquilizers/pain meds $50

Thyroid meds $60

Smiling, spiral-tail-wagging, lizard-stomping, howling-on-command, preternaturally happy and curious brown-eyed, Dingo-like yellow dog....my co-worker, my joy at the beach, sentry at the gate, constant companion, and silent, adoring witness to my life......priceless.

Thanks, sillies.............

Oh SusieQ- what a beautiful soul (you and her both!)

[Darn210]

First, I've found Open Original Shared Link Bring it on!!!!!!

And, the opening is durable plastic so your lips never touch cold metal.

Thank Gawd, how horrendous to get your tongue stuck to your ski pole.

OF COURSE, non-alcoholic beverages are NOT recommended when temperatures are expected to be much below freezing for any length of time.

It is actually only GOOD for alcoholic drinks . . .

Bev - do you already have a set of these poles?

Sarah simultaneous bleching + high fives = True Love

[Ridgewalker]

Whew..... <----- That's my happily relieved face!

[Darn210]

From the EM thread:

We haven't been demoted to the gab forum yet, so technically, you are not at all off topic!

Demoted!!!!! You make the gab forum sound like a place for degenerates and delinquents . . . oh . . . never mind.

Why, that was never my intention! I think the gab forum is a place for intellectuals

(who happen to count their farts).

It's a good thing Jodi mentioned gluten. It might just buy us a little more time up here (as we snootily look down upon the already banished. ha ha ha ).

Just thought I would tattle on Mango . . . I don't know who she's kidding . . . she sooooo belongs here!!

[Ridgewalker]

Oooh fury! Dang it, poopy cow, etc, etc!!!!!!!!!!!

One of Luke's teachers just called me and said that it's the other teacher's b-day, and can I bring Lucas some cookies so he doesn't feel left out? Sure but it woulda been great to know that like yesterday when I didn't have to take my other child to the doctor, and had a little time, and more than 1 hour of sleep!

And oh by the way, parents aren't encouraged to bring in treats on the KIDS' b-days.

What the hell! Now I gotta go bake. Luke is such a good kid, I know he'd be fine with just eating his regular snack, and you know what, that makes me even more determined to get the freaking cookies to him on time.

Sarah is not a happy camper.

[blueeyedmanda]

(((((HUGS)))))))) Sarah

Would you like to borrow the Yeti to help?

[Darn210]

What the hell! Now I gotta go bake. Luke is such a good kid, I know he'd be fine with just eating his regular snack, and you know what, that makes me even more determined to get the freaking cookies to him on time.

Last time I made cookies, I froze some of the dough so that I could have cookies on the spot in case of an emergency . . . then I proceded to make several trips a day to the freezer to eat the frozen cookie dough ( ) until it was all gone . . . seemed like a good idea Might actually work for someone who has willpower.

[Ridgewalker]

Last time I made cookies, I froze some of the dough so that I could have cookies on the spot in case of an emergency . . . then I proceded to make several trips a day to the freezer to eat the frozen cookie dough ( ) until it was all gone . . . seemed like a good idea Might actually work for someone who has willpower.

:lol:

Actually, that would work for me. For chocolate chip cookies, we like the Bob's Red Mill mix... which is HEINOUS in the dough form. Only good once baked.

The first time I made them, I scooped up a spoonful of raw dough (as was my usual practice)... and had to run to the sink, spitting and hawking, etc. Not good.

[blueeyedmanda]

I am not one of those with willpower....count me out of that category!

[Ridgewalker]

(((((HUGS)))))))) Sarah

Would you like to borrow the Yeti to help?

Perhaps so!!! Can he bake?! He could make pizza crust for dinner tonight too, and I can take a nap!

[blueeyedmanda]

From traveling to all our homes, our Yeti has picked up a lot of talent. He is very obiedient too. Boy I cant spell today.

[Matt'sMom]

Ahem...(clears throat)

Me-me-me-meeeeeee...

My bologna has a first name it's O-S-C-A-R, my bologna has a second name, it's M-A-Y-E-R. Oh! I love to eat it every day and if you ask me why I'll say.'Cause Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A!

I had to get that out of my system. I made my daughter a bologna sandwich this morning and that accursed jingle has been haunting me since!

We've been having such fun on the gfp thread lately, and made such a crazy mess of it, that I thought it was time to move the silliness to it's own silly home. So come on in and join the silliness. Any topic is fair game. Laughter is the best medicine!

Does anybody else have a particularly annoying jingle stuck in their head? (Who let the dogs out?)

[Matt'sMom]

Thanks for the laughter . My son was diag. 1 wk. ago and it has been a roller coasted ride of emotions .

[blueeyedmanda]

Thanks for the laughter . My son was diag. 1 wk. ago and it has been a roller coasted ride of emotions .

Welcome to the Board, things are always a little rough in the begining but it will all get better. If you ever have a question, need a laugh or just want to vent feel free. We all have been there and understand. You have stumbled into a greta support system We hope you stick around.

This is our Silly Thread, we are all a little looney, but I think that is what keeps up sane day to day. Hope you enjoy it.

[Green12]

Patti, are you ready for LOST tomorrow??

Richard, it's time to phone home!!!!