The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[DingoGirl]

I must tell you what can be found throughout my house. When you first buy a small frame, there is usually a print of a photo in it, usually an attractive young generic-looking girl or man. Well, in several of my frames I have kept these people within, and matted it nicely. People will pick up one of the pictures and say, "Oh! Lovely pic. Who is this?" and I'll shrug and say, "I dunno".

People either find this hysterically funny or plain strange. No middle ground, here. I find it a scream......

:lol:

a distinct GUFFAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I find it a scream, also, and have done it myself. Have never tried your other idea, though........replacing the photos in stores w/ rejects......mygawd, if you have actually done this Emily, and you are not telling fibs, you have been exalted in my mind to......madder than anyone. Truly. If we lived in the same town, dear God, no telling the havoc we'd wreak.

:lol:

(feeling better today but my EARS are still going to EXPLODE!!!!!!!!!! What in hell is that? can you moms tell me? Sorest throat still and screamingly painful ears......do I have an ear infection? Yes, green snot is now coming out, FYI)

Our student part-timer comes in at 11 on Sunday to open. He last saw the store an Thursday evening. He will have to re-shovel the parking lot, and then cope with a made over store as he does the daily inventory review and puts up tags for the sale that starts tomorrow. We have not given him any warning. We are evil.

:lol:

Yes, another moderator, corrupted.

Retail and the constantly re-configuring - - OMG - it can get heinous......

Did I tell you guys I'm goign to apply to be a part-time floral designer at this new posh place coming in? Have no idea when it's opening.....but it's 1.5 miles from my house. Here are my requirements:

1. A stool upon which to sit whilst messing w/ flowers (cannot have a solid standing job due to wretched back)

2. Nice bosses. The FIRST hint of a$#@$%$$, and - not kidding - - they get a stern look. Second sign.......they get a verbal admonition. Third......I am out the door.

(I have had too many - in fact - mostly ONLY menial jobs all my life due to impaired brain...I was very, very stupid on many jobs and got in lots of trouble.....so now......esp. since the job at teh wretched art store - - it's a Pavlovian response........I"ll allow a boss a bad mood - - but mistreatment - - nope - can't do it )

....Emily divided by herself, cannot stand

gahhhhhhh

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

seriously.

Janet - a spatula

Hmmm....

As my DH was passing by the computer last night, I said, "Hey! What does this look like to you?" He glanced over and immediately said, "Penis", and kept going. (Mygawd...can I use this word here?) So......what would Dr. Rorcharck make of this?....

*snort*

[blueeyedmanda]

Sillies I think I lost my silliness with all the recent stress in my life....so depressing. Last weekend, John and I had such a great time together.

This weekend, after the week which was bad (nothing work related) but this weekend was a mopey weekend, all we did was sit around. Almost a waste of a weekend. Now tomorrow we go back to work.

Sorry to rain on the parade but this was just a disappointing weekend..

[DingoGirl]

Sorry to rain on the parade but this was just a disappointing weekend..

Oh Amanda....so sorry. But not to worry, there IS no raining on the Silly Parade...impossible.

Okay.....today - - - my prescription - - - snuggle up w/ John and Lucky - - have some fun drinks - cosmos? Or how about champagne mixed w/ pomegranite juice? Have the cocktails and eat some yummy snacks and look at the GORGEOUS Tom Brady and.......try and pretend that no wretchedness exists in your life........and remember that all of this, too, shall pass.

[blueeyedmanda]

Oh Susie, you are so sweet and full of some great ideas. I think we will be making cosmo's. We do need to head to the grocery store....and get our superbowl food. I am thinking Tacos tonight.

[nikki-uk]

I totally understand the 'not smiling' in photos!!

My Dad did photography as a sideline (weddings etc)...used positively ancient cameras (anyone heard of box brownie???)

My brother & I dreaded a photo being took....move here...no! there!!...wait ...like 10 mins while Dad faffed around with the light metRE ...grimacing through clenched teeth...my Dad shouting ''Say Cheese!!''.....ugh...exhausting....

Well, Sillies, hope everyone is enjoying the weekend so far. We went to Starbucks in our travels today....and to think just a year ago, I wouldn't have dared spend the day out shopping like a normal person. I am so much better Sometimes I can't quite believe it. Just thought I'd share this wave of happiness

Awww...warms the cockles of me 'eart to read that Patti!!

I must tell you what can be found throughout my house. When you first buy a small frame, there is usually a print of a photo in it, usually an attractive young generic-looking girl or man. Well, in several of my frames I have kept these people within, and matted it nicely. People will pick up one of the pictures and say, "Oh! Lovely pic. Who is this?" and I'll shrug and say, "I dunno".

People either find this hysterically funny or plain strange. No middle ground, here. I find it a scream......

While strange it is hysterically funny ...but OMG!!!!!...pure genius to place your unwanted pics in the frames at the store ........What fun!!!!!!!

....whilst nowhere near as MAD as Emily I do have a pic of my BIL and his EX wife of 2 yrs on my sideboard........really must get round to changing it

Our student part-timer comes in at 11 on Sunday to open. He last saw the store an Thursday evening. He will have to re-shovel the parking lot, and then cope with a made over store as he does the daily inventory review and puts up tags for the sale that starts tomorrow. We have not given him any warning. We are evil.

Good work Peter

......IMO students are fair game.....god knows my first ever boss tried to stitch me up enough times...he never managed it though......*I* outwitted him at every turn ....I mean who's gonna walk into a hardware shop & ask for a dozen ''skyhooks''

Susie!!!...weak chortling with feverish brain???

Yes, as a Mum..I can actually confirm that when it hurts to swallow and your ears hurt it means you have a head cold ......if the pain doesn't go soon I'd go to the Dr's all the same

I LOVE champagne with pomegranite juice!!!!!!!!!!

[tom]

Some funnies from me mum:

love 'em

"Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?"

I'm gonna start!!!

Did I tell you guys I'm goign to apply to be a part-time floral designer at this new posh place coming in?

Oooooooo! Sounds good!!

[DingoGirl]

I

Awww...warms the cockles of me 'eart to read that Patti!!

I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I forgot to mention it, Patti, it's SUCH good news, how great you're feeling, running around, and now, creating your SPA bathroom............

Nicola - what are "skyhooks?"

Okay - MOMS - help me - - see, I started feeling awful last Wednesday, got worse and worse, today is better, I am upright, but glands are still quite painful......ears/throat, still killing me......do I STILL need go to to the doctor? (my own mom says yes) Feeling better - -but still - - in great pain.........

BOLLOCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG - guess what - - Stepford is hosting a small gathering at her house in a couple of days - wants me to babysit her dog since he "doesn't do well around more than one or two people" (wretched, ill-mannered, untrained devil dog)......... so she wants him to come here (my answer is no because I am not well and canNOT be responsible for monitoring him).........

but get this - - she is having her solar lights outside replaced and upgraded - - so "no one will trip" - - - OMG - - the distance from the curb to her door? About......eight feet...... And.....there are street lights here, 'tis not dark......... <the whole thing amuses me greatly, as you can see>

She's had a handyman there quite a bit........making her already pristine house inordinately perfect, I imagine.......

I can't imagine this will be a FUN event..... Her perfection is quite...intimidating.....I wonder if her FRIENDS are that perfect, as well?

Since I have a key, I am thinkig I"ll just barge in and........soil the carpet...... :lol:

gawd help me.....been couped up too long..........

[jerseyangel]

Did I tell you guys I'm goign to apply to be a part-time floral designer at this new posh place coming in?

Wow! That's great! Good luck

Awww...warms the cockles of me 'eart to read that Patti!!

Nikki

[jerseyangel]

Since I have a key, I am thinkig I"ll just barge in and........soil the carpet...... :lol:

About your cold, Susie--if you're getting better, even slowly, then there's probably nothing the doctor can do...on the other hand, if you feel better and then get even sicker--that could be a bacterial infection, secondary to the virus and would require antibiotics.

(Do I listen to myself )

[tom]

Oops double

[tom]

Since I have a key, I am thinkig I"ll just barge in and........soil the carpet...... :lol:

And sneak into the bathroom & unroll the TP several laps, write a message there, then carefully re-roll it.

Maybe

H E LP

I'm being held captive

master BR closet

H

E

l

gawd help me.....been couped up too long..........

I've been feeling somewhat sedaned lately myself.

[elye]

....whilst nowhere near as MAD as Emily I do have a pic of my BIL and his EX wife of 2 yrs on my sideboard........really must get round to changing it

Well, Nikki, You of course know NOT to throw out this pic. You head to the frame department at Tesco's.....

Last summer my sister was over, and she suddenly said, "Ohmygawd! You would not believe this frame I saw at Dollarama yesterday. The printed picture inside it was of a woman's neck and chest, like a mistake pic or something. Anyways, this generic person had on the exact same T-shirt and emerald necklace that I have!!" I looked astounded.

Yes, Nikki....what are skyhooks? Not a Commonwealth thing...haven't got 'em here, don't think....

.....do I STILL need go to to the doctor? (my own mom says yes) Feeling better - -but still - - in great pain.........

Give it until tomorrow, Susie...then I would see the doc. Sorry you're feeling like crap...

Since I have a key, I am thinkig I"ll just barge in and........soil the carpet......

Sounds like you're feeling better already!

[DingoGirl]

And sneak into the bathroom & unroll the TP several laps, write a message there, then carefully re-roll it.

Maybe

H E LP

I'm being held captive

master BR closet

Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

this is brilliant beyond belief!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, feeling better but certainly not tip-top - - it COULD come back w/ a vengeance if I'm not careful...........

Annie and I are having a wee Super Bowl party. She is in the kitchen, making some wings and some dip of some kind, she told me to stay out.

So back to the couch. Making jewelry whilst feigning interest in football-type things. Bah!

Yes, I think my phunny is back. I knew it when I found great amusement in Stepford's goings-on over there.

<trip on the way to the door......bah ha ha ha ha ha>

edit - GUYS! go read the thread called "bipolar II disorder" - - Rice Guy clearly doesn't believe in antidepressants........but he posted this link and - - I'm not sure what to make of it......but - don't want to engage in conflict so am stepping away from the thread now

dingy is confused - -

[jerseyangel]

And sneak into the bathroom & unroll the TP several laps, write a message there, then carefully re-roll it.

Or leave a double-decker

[blueeyedmanda]

you know what made me smile today? I had my first bag of Cadbury Mini Eggs for the season! Boy do I love those little things...mmmm!

[tom]

Last summer my sister was over, . .. .

. .. .. .

. .. the exact same T-shirt and emerald necklace that I have!!" I looked astounded.

The uncertainty amongst thoughts of "what an imagination!", "it's real", and "ahhhhh it's real to her" only adds to the amusement.

Annie and I are having a wee Super Bowl party. She is in the kitchen, making some wings and some dip of some kind, she told me to stay out.

I would take SuperWeasel to be somewhat of a traditionalist.

My money's on Ranch.

[DingoGirl]

I would take SuperWeasel to be somewhat of a traditionalist.

My money's on Ranch.

I can't make out what it is exactly......some ersatz dog-food flavoUred ghoul-ash. She ate all the wings, though.......now it's just the chips and this stuff she's trying to pass off as dip.

[elye]

Susie's phunny's back! Yay!!

How come Gus doesn't ever surprise me with a li'l snack, or an impromptu dinner??! Boy, did I get the wrong breed.....damn poodles.....far too interested in circus tricks...no domestic tendencies....grumble grumble...

This is likely her way of working through her grief at the loss of Stinker. As my mom used to proclaim, Busy hands and minds keep sadness at bay...or something to this effect. Maybe Annie will start doing some tidying up, too.....

[Green12]

Yes, feeling better but certainly not tip-top - - it COULD come back w/ a vengeance if I'm not careful...........

Annie and I are having a wee Super Bowl party. She is in the kitchen, making some wings and some dip of some kind, she told me to stay out.

So back to the couch. Making jewelry whilst feigning interest in football-type things. Bah!

Glad you are feeling better Susie!

I am having a wee Super Bowl party myself, smaller than wee, would that be a wee wee??

I had a whole menu planned and guests coming over but had to cancel because I got vertigo yesterday and am still really dizzy today

So it's just me and my spread, Oaxacan Chicken and Avocado Lime Sausce, Spanish Rice, Salad, and Lemon cupcakes.

Come on over everybody!! You'll just have to serve yourself while I lay completely still in order to keep the room from spinning

Amanda, is Easter candy already out?

My faves are those Resse's Eggs and Hersheys Eggs, not sure if they are gluten-free though?

[psawyer]

....I mean who's gonna walk into a hardware shop & ask for a dozen ''skyhooks''

They same guy who, after discovering a bolt with a left-hand thread, swallows the bait when told to find the left-handed wrench, er, spanner.

edit - GUYS! go read the thread called "bipolar II disorder" - - Rice Guy clearly doesn't believe in antidepressants........but he posted this link and - - I'm not sure what to make of it......but - don't want to engage in conflict so am stepping away from the thread now

dingy is confused - -

I'll go have another look. That thread started out okay.

[DingoGirl]

This is likely her way of working through her grief at the loss of Stinker. As my mom used to proclaim, Busy hands and minds keep sadness at bay...or something to this effect. Maybe Annie will start doing some tidying up, too.....

:lol: oh, one can only hope. I just don't think so, though, she's really very food-driven.....other chores don't seem to interest her. AND, BTW, when she CLAIMS she's making snacks for BOTH of us, she manages to eat them all, every time, before I even KNOW what's been done in there.

So it's just me and my spread, Oaxacan Chicken and Avocado Lime Sausce, Spanish Rice, Salad, and Lemon cupcakes.

Come on over everybody!! You'll just have to serve yourself while I lay completely still in order to keep the room from spinning

Julie! OMG, vertigo? had that once.....years ago. Took a while to ease up - - at least you can join us on teh computer, though.......mygawd, your snacks sound good! The Weasel and I will be right over!!!!!!!!

OMG - the super bowl is just so..........overwrought and dramatic now, isn't it? Now the pre-show is about.....half a day long......entire shows about commercials and all kinds of b@#$%$#%.......and did you see how Tom Brady was the ONLY one who ran out without his helmet on? Do you think they told him to do that?

yeah......the bipolar thread......I have pretty strong opinions about my mental health.....NO ONE can tell me how to manage it..........unless he or she has walked in my exact shoes, lo' these 46 years

Annie's eaten all the pre-game and the game snacks. She's such a selfish little hostess. I'm going to send her over to Stepford's with a note tied 'round her neck, asking for more food. I've also asked her to do a butt-scoot on the very lovely cream carpet in her living room....but we've decided to wait on that until JUST before her guests arrive on Tues. night.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

[blueeyedmanda]

Some Easter Candy is out. I did see the Hershey's eggs.

[jerseyangel]

Glad you are feeling better Susie!

I am having a wee Super Bowl party myself, smaller than wee, would that be a wee wee??

I had a whole menu planned and guests coming over but had to cancel because I got vertigo yesterday and am still really dizzy today

So it's just me and my spread, Oaxacan Chicken and Avocado Lime Sausce, Spanish Rice, Salad, and Lemon cupcakes.

Come on over everybody!! You'll just have to serve yourself while I lay completely still in order to keep the room from spinning

Julie,

Your wee wee spread sounds delicious!

Vertigo....heinous I had it a couple years ago--I swear it was caused by Previcid. I was on it for about a week (never taken it before) and woke up in the middle of the night and the room seemed to be slanted to one side. I had to hold on to the walls to get to the bathroom. It was scary!

Hope yours passes quickly--until then, take it easy and find a position that doesn't make the room spin--and stay there

[Green12]

Julie! OMG, vertigo? had that once.....years ago. Took a while to ease up - - at least you can join us on teh computer, though.......mygawd, your snacks sound good! The Weasel and I will be right over!!!!!!!!

OMG - the super bowl is just so..........overwrought and dramatic now, isn't it? Now the pre-show is about.....half a day long......entire shows about commercials and all kinds of b@#$%$#%.......and did you see how Tom Brady was the ONLY one who ran out without his helmet on? Do you think they told him to do that?

lol:

Yeah vertigo, something I hope I never get again.

Just cleared a place on my big comfy couch for you and Annie .

My big complaint about the pre show is what in the HECk was Ryan Seacrest and a red carpet doing there?

Some Easter Candy is out. I did see the Hershey's eggs.

YUM. Can't do chocolate anymore, eat some for me!!!!!

Julie,

Your wee wee spread sounds delicious!

Vertigo....heinous I had it a couple years ago--I swear it was caused by Previcid. I was on it for about a week (never taken it before) and woke up in the middle of the night and the room seemed to be slanted to one side. I had to hold on to the walls to get to the bathroom. It was scary!

Hope yours passes quickly--until then, take it easy and find a position that doesn't make the room spin--and stay there

Thanks Patti.

It is really scary. I thought at first I was having a seizure.

I slept all day yesterday, my head felt like a balloon on top of being so dizzy.

I'm not on any meds to connect it to, I heard there was a virus going around and vertigo is one of the main symptoms so maybe that is it

[jerseyangel]

Just cleared a place on my big comfy couch for you and Annie .

I wanna come too!