The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[Darn210]

Auuuuugggggghhhh!!!!

Janet, you just sent me over there because there is a plethora of MATHS, didn't ya????

I get on the thread, all ready to impart my most serious, well-founded advice, and THIS is what I find:

If it were me, I'd add up the carbs and divide the total by the ratio of a single serving. In other words, if the total carbs in the recipe is 200 grams, and a serving is 1/12 of the cake, then 200/12 is your answer. You could use the same basic idea with the weight too I suppose. So if the cake weighs 1lb, and a serving is 2oz, then the answer is 200/8.

Gaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!! Get me outta there.......!!!!!!

Grumble grumble......must search for thread on insubordinate clause use....tell Janet she's needed on this new posting about mathematical glutening ratios.......

Actually, riceguy really knows his stuff. T'weren't nuttin' fer me to add....

Well Hell!!! I thought you could relate . . . she's got a scale for PeterSawyer's sake to keep from doing the MathS and she wants to use it!!!

Terribly sorry . . . I'll try to refrain from posting any links away from the silly thread.

[tom]

Ahhhhhh the B.B.P.E . . ...(brain-boosting phecal egress) (or maybe saying "I was PEBBed" works better )

Some of us who live just outside of Mt. Airy are of the opinion that Mt. Airians have a little bit of a 'tude. Also, they are all crazy drivers, and everything is just a tad bit more expensive there.

Yep .... .them city-folk 'n' the'r high-falutin' city ways .. . ..

I never watched the show much. Do they call it Pilot Mountain in the show? That is where I live. (Used to be referred to as Mt. Pilot, back in the day.)

Wow!!!

They say Mt. Pilot ALL the TIME!!

Dunno how far back "back in the day" would indicate, but Andy's terminology (heehee - not quite study of terms as much as collection.) <yipes! Brain's working well today!> would be from the 50s I bet.

Janet- Your son MUST be related to my husband...that is something he would say to me along with 'How about a nice, tall glass of shut the hell up?" Cracks me up every time!!!

fan-*******-tastic - cuz some ppl could take that the wrong way

Gah!! I'm meeting yolo in 73min & should really shower first!

(And spend 40min choosing an outfit rofl )

[elye]

Superb av, Ptaum!!

Ahhhhhh the B.B.P.E . . ...(brain-boosting phecal egress) (or maybe saying "I was PEBBed" works better )

Well, Ptaum...good thing the BBPE transpired before your meeting with Yolo. Not a terrific first impression when ya gotta say, "Oh! Jeez...excuse me fer a sec...need to do my compulsory poop, and it's right at the gate!....Brilliant conversation just CANNOT begin before this event...back in 'arf a mo..."

Here is a question posed to me by The Ripper, and all of my linguistic texts have not afforded me the answer. Have not tried Mr. Google...guess I'm afraid I may let in some scary, pornographic, sicko spam er sumfin':

What is the simple past form of sh!t?

Does it remain the same? 'Tis lucky Ptaum sh!t before his meeting.....

Is it simply treated as a regular verb? Ptaum sh!tted, and then he could think properly.

Or is it irregular? It was obvious to us all that Ptaum shat...his discourse was brilliant!

[Jestgar]

What is the simple past form of sh!t?

Does it remain the same? 'Tis lucky Ptaum sh!t before his meeting.....

Is it simply treated as a regular verb? Ptaum sh!tted, and then he could think properly.

Or is it irregular? It was obvious to us all that Ptaum shat...his discourse was brilliant!

pretty sure that if you ask the Irish, its shat

[tom]

So, henceforth, for these 100 pages: Armenian, and mathS.....gaaaaahhhhhhhhh......

Woohoooooooo!!!

I'll have to find my English-to-Armenian bkmrk again, but I've no problem w/ adding some sum of the other.

Lots of dads in the Sillyville air....thinking about your dad, Amanda.

Yes, Amanda - How's Pops?

uh,Tom, the goal is to find someone else to shine the sceptre and crown the jewels....

GOOD QUESTION!!!! (am thinking of packing some for Al for his Florida trip)

Anyone know??

Dry cereal is fine. It's liquids & gels they worry about.

YAY Disneyland!!

Part deux & I SEE YOU SUSIE!!!!!!!! (haven't y'all left yet??)

Am I the only one who read that they leave early Sunday??

[psawyer]

What is the simple past form of sh!t?

Does it remain the same? 'Tis lucky Ptaum sh!t before his meeting.....

Is it simply treated as a regular verb? Ptaum sh!tted, and then he could think properly.

Or is it irregular? It was obvious to us all that Ptaum shat...his discourse was brilliant!

Jeez, Louise, the questions we deal with here.

The Canadian Oxford Dictionary, 2ed, lists all three of those (in alphabetical order, so shat comes first, then sh!t, and finally sh!tted). Yes, that's right, the Oxford dictionary, and it's Canadian version, includes all those words you can't say on television. It labels this one as coarse slang, and includes all the senses, including the transitive sense of "to lie or exaggerate to."

A sure sign of spring: As I was looking this up, I glanced out my window to see a robin sitting in the maple tree. He's gone now, but he was there for a good five minutes.

[elye]

Jeez, Louise, the questions we deal with here.

The Canadian Oxford Dictionary, 2ed, lists all three of those (in alphabetical order, so shat comes first, then sh!t, and finally sh!tted). Yes, that's right, the Oxford dictionary, and it's Canadian version, includes all those words you can't say on television. It labels this one as coarse slang, and includes all the senses, including the transitive sense of "to lie or exaggerate to."

Thank you, Oracle peter!

That is fascinating...the word and its conjugation appear in the Canadian Oxford, but not in the Canadian Webster's, which is what I have.

I shall tell Jack that he can use any of these forms, as each is correct. Of course, he must wait until he is an adult.

...Somehow, sh!tted just sounds very incorrect....The damn cat sh!tted in my garden. I think the Irish truly know what they're saying--The wee beast just shat in me potatoes!....

A sure sign of spring: As I was looking this up, I glanced out my window to see a robin sitting in the maple tree. He's gone now, but he was there for a good five minutes.

Oh! This is wonderfully portentous...

That robin, I'm sure, was keeping a wary eye on your house, Peter--making sure no cats wandered out...

[tom]

I don't believe I've ever sashayed anywhere.

I'm pretty sure I've managed to remain sashay-free myself as well.

Can men sashay? (RuPaul doesn't count)

Saunter, sure. Stride, stroll - of course.

Real men don't sashay, right?

Here is a question posed to me by The Ripper, and all of my linguistic texts have not afforded me the answer. Have not tried Mr. Google...guess I'm afraid I may let in some scary, pornographic, sicko spam er sumfin':

What is the simple past form of sh!t?

Does it remain the same? 'Tis lucky Ptaum sh!t before his meeting.....

Is it simply treated as a regular verb? Ptaum sh!tted, and then he could think properly.

Or is it irregular? It was obvious to us all that Ptaum shat...his discourse was brilliant!

King one day, common crapper the next .. . ..

. .. . I think the Irish truly know what they're saying--The wee beast just shat in me potatoes!....

Oh a cat .. ..I was thinking Leprechaun .. .then wondered whether they even eat . ..a question which made me feel pixilated .. . .but decided that since leprechaun's profess opinions on overly-sweetened oat & marshmallow cereal - "They're MAgically delISH-shuss" - unless they're a pack of wee fibbers, they MUST at least eat breakfast.

[elye]

Can men sashay? (RuPaul doesn't count)

Saunter, sure. Stride, stroll - of course.

Real men don't sashay, right?

.....Uh.....

Right.

King one day, common crapper the next .. . ..

Well..........Even kings egress phecally.

[tom]

LOL Em!

So yay! I met yolo!!

We talked for close to 2 hrs and plan to do it again.

And I expect to attend some art, poetry & musical jam session gatherings that friends of hers organize. I've never been that big on poetry which isn't actually lyrics, but hey, maybe I'll dig it AND there's jamming afterwards!!

[blueeyedmanda]

Yes, Amanda - How's Pops?

No word yet...but I will let you know as soon as I hear.

I have the worst cold ever....I am miserble! It takes a lot to get me down but this is knocking me down. No cold meds work either....I even napped tonight.

[elye]

So yay! I met yolo!!

We talked for close to 2 hrs and plan to do it again.

And I expect to attend some art, poetry & musical jam session gatherings that friends of hers organize. I've never been that big on poetry which isn't actually lyrics, but hey, maybe I'll dig it AND there's jamming afterwards!!

Ptaum, this is great.

I've always thought of most poetry as potential lyrics....

[~alex~]

I missed the crowning of our new Queen -- congratulations Jess!

My (paternal) grandparents are visiting for awhile -- staying at my dad's. I like seeing them but I feel like I don't know them that well compared to my other grandpa so it feels kind of weird. But they're very fascinated about the whole Celiac thing so there's always something to talk about during awkward silences.

We had a little earth hour get together with some friends and drank wine and played euchre by candlelight. Lots of fun!

Look -- Open Original Shared Link turned their lights out too! (it may only be like this on google.ca -- not sure)

[elye]

We sat in an hour of darkness, too, in front of the fireplace, playing Password.

Jack disappeared down the hall for a few minutes to let Gus out. When he returned, he announced that it was SO dark outside, but dogs seem to know right where to go, because "Gus shat in his regular spot!" (Just waiting to employ this new word).....

[psawyer]

Well, sort of.

We turned off some lights that are normally on at that time. We were eating dinner as the hour started, and so we lit candles and turned off the lights. Instead of having our power company burn fossil fuel to make electricity to power our lamps, we burned fossil fuel candles right in our own dining room.

This exercise may create awareness of something that may or may not be a problem. But changing your behavior for one hour, once a year, makes no difference in fuel consumption on a daily worldwide basis.

[Jestgar]

We sat in an hour of darkness, too, in front of the fireplace, playing Password.

Jack disappeared down the hall for a few minutes to let Gus out. When he returned, he announced that it was SO dark outside, but dogs seem to know right where to go, because "Gus shat in his regular spot!" (Just waiting to employ this new word).....

It's so encouraging when young minds are excited to learn new things.

[Jestgar]

This exercise may create awareness of something that may or may not be a problem. But changing your behavior for one hour, once a year, makes no difference in fuel consumption on a daily worldwide basis.

yes, but that has value too.

[Ridgewalker]

King one day, common crapper the next .. . ..

:lol: :lol: That made me laugh out loud. *giggle*

I, personally, use the word "shat" every chance I get.

[tom]

SaaaaaaaaaaaaaaRahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Where's the Fire Report!????????

Amanda, sorry you're hit w/ some misery.

Hope it's gone VERY soon!!!

[tom]

Here's a funny I got from Jin.

Subject: A Funny One (Wrong email address)

A lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address!!!!

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter.They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.

Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife.

However, he accidentally left out one letter in her Email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to

glory following a heart attack.The widow decided to check her email, expecting messages from relatives and friends.

After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the

room, found his Mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife

Subject: I've Arrived

Date: October 16, 2005

I know you're surprised to hear from me.

They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones.

I've just arrived and have been checked in.

I've seen that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Looking forward to seeing you then!!!!

Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. Sure is freaking hot down here!!!

[tom]

Hmmmm 3 in a row from me .. .

Ok, here's the deal. I kinda got screwed on going out tonight.

Was quite confident this AM that I'd be up for it, so txt'd dumbass roomie to see if he'd be back and ready to see a band.

(He was at girlfriend's last night after visiting her in the hospital - not serious, but some mystery surgery)

He said "Yes, I'll be there, let's do something".

He comes home ~5 and doesn't bother mentioning that by 6 he'd be out the door & back to Livermore for the night. wtf

I would've had ALL DAY to make calls to find someone to do whatever w/.

And thus, a rare HARRUMPHHHH!!!! from me. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr

(Went out anyway - band even has a tenor player, but kinda tired of going alone.)

[tom]

Open Original Shared Link

Slang? SLANG??????

What the .. ???

How?

SpeAch? GrammEr?

Ugh

[nikki-uk]

What is the simple past form of sh!t?

I see the oracle knows all - shat seems right somehow

I, personally, use the word "shat" every chance I get.

Me too!!

Open Original Shared Link

Slang? SLANG??????

What the .. ???

How?

SpeAch? GrammEr?

Ugh

Poor Ptaum - I can tell it's driving him INSANE

[Darn210]

STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!!!!

There is absolutely NOTHING fun or silly about GRAMMER!!! You guys can transfer this conversation to the "Can't get a date because I correct the English of all my suiters" thread.

Slang? SLANG??????

What the .. ???

How?

SpeAch? GrammEr?

Ugh

Oh I couldn't agree with you more!!!! All those misspellings . . . drives me BONKERS!!!!

[elye]

Good Sunday morning, Sillies......

Any of us regular church goers here? We are not . Sunday mornings, when I've been here, seem pretty quiet...

When I do make the time to go, it's to a 2:30 service. Not much easier to fit in, you'd think, but there you are...

Now, speaking of churchy, upstanding subjects:

I, personally, use the word "shat" every chance I get.

It is a splendid word. I am going to incorporate it into my daily discourse.

Open Original Shared Link

Slang? SLANG??????

What the .. ???

How?

SpeAch? GrammEr?

Ugh

That's a tough post to read. Think I'll stay clear o' that one...

CeliacS = slang for celiac.......hmmmmmm.....