The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[Jestgar]

You've all collectively gotten together to drag me mind into the gutter. There is no other explanation.

Exactly!! Someone else is ALWAYS responsible. That's why people gather in groups, not for companionship, it's to be certain there's someone around to get you off the hook

[curlyfries]

Exactly!! Someone else is ALWAYS responsible. That's why people gather in groups, not for companionship, it's to be certain there's someone around to get you off the hook

............or for someone to blame their odoUriferous farts on.

[tom]

:lol:

:lol:

Y'all are crackin' me up

Mygawd.....if we were gonna photo shop some other boobs, I think we would have gone for Elle MacPherson or Cindy Crawford......

Cindy's so much more about the whole sultry package than the boobs.

Let's say Elle or Jessica Alba or Jennifer Aniston or Halle Berry or Brooke Burke or Heather Graham or Courtney Thorne-Smith or Jennifer Love Hewitt (wait . ..are those fake?) or Catherine Bell or old-school it w/ Adrienne Barbeau!!

(lol that took longer than it appears)

Dimwitted Elisabeth Hasselback? <beck? back?>

:lol:

<why am I posting this?>

[Jestgar]

Cindy's so much more about the whole sultry package than the boobs.

Let's say Elle or Jessica Alba or Jennifer Aniston or Halle Berry or Brooke Burke or Heather Graham or Courtney Thorne-Smith or Jennifer Love Hewitt (wait . ..are those fake?) or Catherine Bell or old-school it w/ Adrienne Barbeau!!

(lol that took longer than it appears)

uh, yah.

[Judyin Philly]

Oh my gawd.

I've already abashed myself due to my choice of colloquialisms to describe altering a digital photo.

Among mainframe techies, to "massage" data means to manually manipulate it (as opposed to an existing automated process) to get it into the desired form. OMG, "manually manipulate" isn't any better when the topic is a picture of the sort we are discussing. What a boob I must be. I should have said that I would alter the characteristics of the photo to reduce the total file size.

Well there you go---------I don't speak that language.........thus............my mind goes to the gutter

I should have said that I would alter the characteristics of the photo to reduce the total file size.

Yes, but then we wouldn't have all this fun.

If you and Tom aren't on line this weekend.......we'll know where to find you.........in the sock isle at Walmarts.

[Ridgewalker]

Got some good news today! My mom had a chest x-ray yesterday, and already got the results today-- it looked clear! This is amazing, because something like 95%+ of Sarcoidosis patients have lesions on the lungs. She's apparently one of that tiny percentage that doesn't.

She still needs to have her eyes checked out, and possibly an EKG... but this is a very positive, encouraging start!

[tom]

Great news Sarah!! :)

And hardy-har-har Judy

[Jestgar]

Got some good news today! My mom had a chest x-ray yesterday, and already got the results today-- it looked clear! This is amazing, because something like 95%+ of Sarcoidosis patients have lesions on the lungs. She's apparently one of that tiny percentage that doesn't.

She still needs to have her eyes checked out, and possibly an EKG... but this is a very positive, encouraging start!

YAY!!

Finally one less thing for you to worry about. You've had more than your share recently. Send the next problem over to LisaGoosey's soon-to-be-ex daughter's mother-in-law.

[curlyfries]

If you and Tom aren't on line this weekend.......we'll know where to find you.........in the sock isle at Walmarts.

They have islands at Walmart?..................and they keep socks there????????

[elye]

Good Morning, Sillies!

Hope we hear from Shoozhle today.....have missed her the last day or so.......

That's why people gather in groups, not for companionship, it's to be certain there's someone around to get you off the hook

...Or likely to compare sock sizes..... . ..

Let's say Elle or Jessica Alba or Jennifer Aniston or Halle Berry or Brooke Burke or Heather Graham or Courtney Thorne-Smith or Jennifer Love Hewitt (wait . ..are those fake?) or Catherine Bell or old-school it w/ Adrienne Barbeau!!

(lol that took longer than it appears)

Dimwitted Elisabeth Hasselback? <beck? back?>

Old-school-it with Adrienne Barbeau....

Boy, am I feeling my age now.....

If we're heading back that far, weren't Farrah's pretty terrific, as well?

I should have said that I would alter the characteristics of the photo to reduce the total file size.

Judy!! We're NOT allowed to speak this way! Nikki is current monarch and there is to be NO such technical, science-and mathy type speak here...it is ordained....

If you and Tom aren't on line this weekend.......we'll know where to find you.........in the sock isle at Walmarts.

Tough to get a good....fit.....in such a public spot.

But if you're there, guys, head on over to the frame department afterwards with some of your crappy photos and join me there........

[Judyin Philly]

Morning.......

thanks for the laughs folks.

Great news about your Mom Sara.

Patti should be out from under the 'jelly wand' by now. Hope she and Mark are kicking back at star bucks

At least this test is behind her now.

i'm going to ............ to venture out into the 'unknon world of the normal' and meet friends for lunch and movie MAMA MIA today.

I'm taking my salad......as owner said ......... "just come and have a good time with your friends.

one of the 3 others is not happy i'm doing that......but you know.........I'M GOING.

I'll be very discreat.........tip well.........sugar words will trip out of my mouth...........hell for a good tip the waiter/waitres will only have to serve me a drink and a plate. how easy is that?

will let you know how it goes.

Guess Tom isn't shopping today ..... whew!

catch you all later.

Judy

[Jestgar]

i'm going to ............ to venture out into the 'unknon world of the normal'

oh, honey, be careful. You know how scary those 'normals' can be. Don't let them touch you, and bring some alcohol wipes, just in case.

And a quarter for the phone, in case you need to call a cab

[Judyin Philly]

oh, honey, be careful. You know how scary those 'normals' can be. Don't let them touch you, and bring some alcohol wipes, just in case.

And a quarter for the phone, in case you need to call a cab

OMG the .............scaries...........are creaping in.

I JUST DECIDED TO DRIVE MYSELF AND MEET THEM AND FOLLOW THEM.

I HATE IT THAT GOING TO A MOVIE ..........CAN SET THE MIND INTO A DITHER.

AT LEAST THE 'D' HASN'T COME VISITING THIS AM..........

I HAVEN'T BEEN TO A MOVIE IN I BET 10 YEARS.

OUT TO EAT MAYBE 6 TIMES IN 3 YEARS

THIS IS THE 'SILLY' THREAD.............I HAVE TO FIND ME SOME .........SILLY............

[Jestgar]

well, my roomie has officially been sworn in as a US citizen. I ran into him on the boat as he was returning from the ceremony so I got to watch the whole, slow, dawning of realization that his whole life had changed and he suddenly had options that he had never had before. It was kind of fun.

I took him out to Red Robins (learned unfortunate new things about what I can can't eat) and I haven't seen him since. I suspect last night his work buddies took him out, and now he's at work. He's probably bruised from being slapped on the back so many times (why do men hit to show pleasure?). Maybe this'll take his mind off the fact that everything he owns is covered in fur....

[Jestgar]

OMG the .............scaries...........are creaping in.

I JUST DECIDED TO DRIVE MYSELF AND MEET THEM AND FOLLOW THEM.

I HATE IT THAT GOING TO A MOVIE ..........CAN SET THE MIND INTO A DITHER.

AT LEAST THE 'D' HASN'T COME VISITING THIS AM..........

I HAVEN'T BEEN TO A MOVIE IN I BET 10 YEARS.

OUT TO EAT MAYBE 6 TIMES IN 3 YEARS

THIS IS THE 'SILLY' THREAD.............I HAVE TO FIND ME SOME .........SILLY............

You'll be fine, especially if your bring your own salad. The worst part will be realizing how much the price of a movie has gone up in 10 years

Just get an aisle seat, so you don't feel restrained.

[elye]

Sarah! Phorget if I mentioned how GREAT it felt to hear the news about yer mom.....

Judy, I took the kids to see Mama Mia last night. A real escape.....very enjoyable fun, which is what a musical should be. Susie had best not venture there.....

[jerseyangel]

one of the 3 others is not happy i'm doing that......but you know.........I'M GOING.

What in hell???? Pay no heed to this person's insecurities! Take yer salad, order a drink and have a great time! Gawd!

Well pholks, I'm back from my ultrasound and the preliminary news is good!

Liver looks clear and not fatty (which is more than I can say fer the rest of me )--no gallstones, just a harmless-looking polyp. The technician was so nice and said that there was nothing there that would cause elevated enzymes Radiologist will see it on Monday.

I maintain it was the weeks of constant low level glutening. Who knows?

Em--what did you decide to do to hoist the girls fer the wedding?

Jess--good news about yer room mate

Did ya'll notice that Pataughmn, quiet as of late, snapped back into action with the talk of boobalicious women last night?

PeOter--I had a feeling that "massage" had some kind of technical meaning as well--but as I said, "megapixel" is about as technical as I get. Too phunny, though!

It's going up to 96 today

[Mtndog]

Hallo Me Psillies......gah! bah! POOPY cow!!!!!!!!! I thought I got off easy with my Twizzle-guzzling-glutenation. WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have spent the last 24 hours in the bathroom more than anywhere else and it is bringing back memories of why I HATE gluten. nasty nasty shiite it is!!!!!!!!!

[tom]

...Or likely to compare sock sizes..... . ..

Hooboy did I ever read THAT wrong!!

<seriously>

Nikki is current monarch and there is to be NO such technical, science-and mathy type speak here...it is ordained....

TWICE now I've seen subjects dare speak for the Een-Kway Her Majesty Nikerler!!

And Pat

[Mtndog]

And good news spread across the land- Sara's mum has lovely lungs, Patti's got a pretty liver, Judy ventured into the world of the normals and survived and Jess's furry roommate is now a citizen (is HE they yeti?)!!!!!!!

MAMA MIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol: (actually I want to see it cuz of Meryl Streep)

Janet- Yesterday I took my nieces to Panera and sat in our booth for old times sake. They are much louder than we were- I think

[Green12]

Happy weekend Sillies!!!!!!

I've been reading along and LMAO, you guys are cracking me up! Peter!!!! Saintly Peter, not so Saintly anymore, he has fallen into the gutter with the rest of y'all

Jess, congrats to yer roommate

Tom where ya been?? And where is Amanda? She usually posts even when on vacay

Got some good news today! My mom had a chest x-ray yesterday, and already got the results today-- it looked clear! This is amazing, because something like 95%+ of Sarcoidosis patients have lesions on the lungs. She's apparently one of that tiny percentage that doesn't.

She still needs to have her eyes checked out, and possibly an EKG... but this is a very positive, encouraging start!

Great news Sarah!!!! A very encouraging start indeed

Well pholks, I'm back from my ultrasound and the preliminary news is good!

Liver looks clear and not fatty (which is more than I can say fer the rest of me )--no gallstones, just a harmless-looking polyp. The technician was so nice and said that there was nothing there that would cause elevated enzymes Radiologist will see it on Monday.

And more good news from Patti!!!!!!

Hallo Me Psillies......gah! bah! POOPY cow!!!!!!!!! I thought I got off easy with my Twizzle-guzzling-glutenation. WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have spent the last 24 hours in the bathroom more than anywhere else and it is bringing back memories of why I HATE gluten. nasty nasty shiite it is!!!!!!!!!

Oh no Bev BIG HUGE POOPY COW! I hope it passes quickly.

[Mtndog]

Phorgot two things..........Judy's lillies loke wonderous- I bet they smell amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And boobage under control by the former HRH Emily.......but I have a lingering question.

How can one have Open Original Shared Link and be that skinny and not fallover when you stand up?

[Green12]

Phorgot to say, JUDY!!!!!! Judy has her silly on too! You've been making me giggle with all yer phunny posts

Have fun at Mama Mia, I so want to see this too!!

[jerseyangel]

Hallo Me Psillies......gah! bah! POOPY cow!!!!!!!!! I thought I got off easy with my Twizzle-guzzling-glutenation. WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have spent the last 24 hours in the bathroom more than anywhere else and it is bringing back memories of why I HATE gluten. nasty nasty shiite it is!!!!!!!!!

Oh Gawd Bev I was hoping yer reactions might be getting milder.....tis heinoUs news. I was just in a local store and swear to God saw red licorace and thought of you Darned (sorry Janet) if the first ingredient wasn't wheat flour! Whoda thunk it?

Happy weekend Sillies!!!!!!

And Happy Weekend to you, Julie! I've missed you the last couple of days

PeOter in the gutter with the rest of us!

[Mtndog]

Uncle Ray has gone blooming mad:

The Suits

A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.

The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.

She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I' m very grateful. How much did you spend?' To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.

'There's no charge,' she says.

'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.

'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'

'So I just switched the heads.'

(BET YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT COMIN!!!)