The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[blueeyedmanda]

I have the most unphunny rash forming on me arm. I went out to the car just now to give my coworker some blinds that we are ridding our house of. I am outside a whole 10 minutes....and my arm was itching and it is rashy now! Ugly!

1 more hour till freedom!

[DingoGirl]

SILLS!!!!!!!!!!!!

had one hour of shut-eye and am still feeling the wackl, and completely delirious

I see the mirth has been carried on valiantly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Again, SO much like the action goin' on at the retirement home.... .. I actually think there is a Lucy Baines living there, who drools and has climbed on top of departing cars.. . . . .....

the poor old gal.....I think our Lucy cat lived until she was 17 or so - fully bonkers and skinny and quite tattered in the end - a veritable Grisabella from T.S. Eliot

Dear gawd.....you are all a rather simian bunch, aren't ya??

Yes, and hirsute, too

would like to have my whole body lasered

WHAAAAT????

and

WHY?????

...and why Brandy?

Brandy in me hot milk, you Silly Bundt!!!!!!!!!!!!!! helps me to sleep.

One can ne'er have too many words for the male anatomy.

It's funny to me to read all of those words in that dictionary, it feels like I'm in the 'way-back' machine. Suddenly I'm 5 years old, listening to my granny tell me to 'make pischy' in the bathroom at Kresge.

Good times...good times

My mum's phamilee were some pretty intense people. Long suffering, to be sure. So much guilt, so little time.

Hmmm...that's what my husband says, every time I take off me clothes

Sadly, I was forced to surrender my IBTC member card at age 17 1/2, whenst the TT fairy paid me a surprise visit and me blossoms near exploded out me wardrobe. She brought along her friend, the chin hair fairy

As if I could Suze, dear, your mirth tis quite ribald wifout me

In my world, the shaving ritual is known as "Trimming the Bush"

I'm all like :lol: x 100 from Mimmsy's post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She got EXPLODING BLOSSOMS?????????????????? I'm still waitin.

I had a vestigal visit from her, as well....... . . ...she does toes, too, part-time. . . . ...

*snooooooort* Yup, got the hair on the big toe, also. Um, I SHAVE MY ARMS. That's right. I have as much arm hair as a man........started bleaching it in around 6th grade (Jolen Cream Bleach, eh girls?) and then..........over a decade ago, just started shaving them daily.

isn't that CRAZY??????????

bloody heinous is what it is.

Then we can all larf at his widdle-pee-nee (johnson, jack hammer, shwans, meat, loaf, trouser trout, pearl diver, little man, jock, manhood)

Hope Suze is gettin' some shut eye

"Aw man, why'd you let her nap so late? Now she'll never get to sleep tonight! I guess I'll just have to put some brandy in 'er milk again."

love the weenis names, esp. TROUSER TROUT and another fave, ONE-EYED SNAKE

Mimms, yer daughter has a cold? awwwwwwww.........well, you get to stay home this weekend then! Hope she feels better.

got one hour of shut-eye, it did help a bit. Now must head out on errands. Foraging for brandy food and supplies, and a lock for my back gate. Did I tell you guys the incident last weekend with teh gardener??????????? I am really in a very awkward situation here, pholks, adn do nae know what to do, so temporary solution is to lock him out of my back yard.

Crikey, is THAT the man for me? Is that who God has for me? My five-foot-two, non-English speaking gardener?????????????????? I was too nice to him, and he has fallen in love. Remember, the flowers in the soda can, and the strawberries? His love offerings? and telling me that he wants to be my novio?

Last week he started crying when I TRIED to tell him (in my very primitive Spanish) that he can't come into my back yard unless I invite him.

THAT is what I get.

Will any NORMAL man ever like me? Ever?

HARRUMPHHHFFFFFFFFFFF

Poor Weez, no walk from her slovenly white trash mommy today......we are just going to lay around until mommy's head stops spinning from fatigue. *snort*

WHERE IS GIA-KNIT??????????????????????? Is she sorting her tatt??????

Oh, wish we could help.........can you imagine, all the sillies commandeering her yard sale????? Absinthian toasts and full ribaldry :snort:

and maybe we can find that court jester with the soiled velvet robe and battered sepulchre to join us.............where is he????????

:lol:

Padt - what IS goign on down there in Texas???????????????????

Amanda - some kind of evil rash????? Stay inside, by all means.

Oh Sills - - going to be mid-70's here for a few days - - the EVIL SUMMER has been staved off for a while more................ :happydance:

[elye]

Gad...just got back from Jack's science fair at his school. My face was completely the entire time I stood looking at these displays on barometric pressure, black holes, magnetic fields, listening to these li'l Einsteins trying to take me through their presentations, nice and slowly. . . . . ......

....and now I hear that Soooozle shaves her arms.

And a wee Mexican man has fallen in love with you!

[mimommy]

Around here, we calls em a weenis

Weenis <<snicker>>

[mimommy]

Hey!!! Something wrong w/ my quotes. A bunch got dumped when I added a reply?!

Anyhoo...

T.S. Eliot

She got EXPLODING BLOSSOMS?????????????????? I'm still waitin.

Jolen Cream Bleach, eh girls

ONE-EYED SNAKE

well, you get to stay home this weekend then!

Last week he started crying when I TRIED to tell him (in my very primitive Spanish) that he can't come into my back yard unless I invite him.

Alfred J. Prufrock (sp?)

Yes, me bosoms blossom. Big, gigantic, watermelon blossoms Hate 'em!!

Jolen and I are well acquainted

OMG--One-Eyed Snake!! I forgot that one

Nope, no stayin' home. I'll bee workin' tomorrow. Grocery shopping/cooking Sunday. (Did somebody say 'long suffering'?)

Try this for yer little man gardener:

"Por favor, permanezca fuera de mi jardin. No mas flores en latas. Pulgares son demasiado pequenas."

translation:

"Please, stay out of my garden. No more flowers in cans. Your thumbs are too small."

[nikki-uk]

Oracle POeter as Zorro. .. . ....!

I think we ALL know that POeter is quite the swashbuckler (eh Jacquie??)

And on his way into surgery! Thinking many good thoughts fer dad today, Em

Fingers crossed for your Dad Em!!

Raechull, you need to put him into a search on facebook. See if his profile comes up, and check out his photo. Hopefully it's a full frontal shot, and you'll likely see a tiiiiiiiiiiny piddle-me-ree................

...an excellent plan!!........ I must try!!!

I have 2 email accounts......one for spam ...and one I use , seriously, my original gets hundreds in one day (how do they get through the spam filter???? )

"Aw man, why'd you let her nap so late? Now she'll never get to sleep tonight! I guess I'll just have to put some brandy in 'er milk again."

Mimi cracking me up!!....also the exploding bosoms with chin hair

I'm afraid chin hair fairy turned up but NAE big boobies

Around here, we calls em a weenis

Todger !!

Did I tell you guys the incident last weekend with teh gardener??????????? I am really in a very awkward situation here, pholks, adn do nae know what to do, so temporary solution is to lock him out of my back yard. :

WHAAAAT???????

, is THAT the man for me? Is that who God has for me? My five-foot-two, non-English speaking gardener?????????????????? I was too nice to him, and he has fallen in love. Remember, the flowers in the soda can, and the strawberries? His love offerings? and telling me that he wants to be my novio?

Last week he started crying when I TRIED to tell him (in my very primitive Spanish) that he can't come into my back yard unless I invite him.

WHAAAAT????????

AYE CARUMBA!!!!!!!!!!!

I didn't know about this!!!......oh no!, has the wee me-hi-can man mistook your friendliness as lurrrve??

Does he eat cheese???.......wear a sombrero??

I know so little

[DingoGirl]

....and now I hear that Soooozle shaves her arms.

And a wee Mexican man has fallen in love with you!

ain't life grand

also - when I went out the other night, I met a Tiny Cowboy......must have been five-foot-six, no more.

I gotta get out of this blasted town.........

Try this for yer little man gardener:

"Por favor, permanezca fuera de mi jardin. No mas flores en latas. Pulgares son demasiado pequenas."

translation:

"Please, stay out of my garden. No more flowers in cans. Your thumbs are too small."

:lol: :lol: OMG - absolutely brill *snigger*

WHAAAAT????????

AYE CARUMBA!!!!!!!!!!!

I didn't know about this!!!......oh no!, has the wee me-hi-can man mistook your friendliness as lurrrve??

Does he eat cheese???.......wear a sombrero??

I know so little

I don't know about teh cheese and sombreros - no, he doesn't wear one here - he just really doesn't speak any English, and I was wayyyyyyyyyy too nice to him, worked with him on many projects and communicated in broken spanish (VERY tedious) and YES, he mistook my friendliness as LURVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have to move

[jerseyangel]

Sills,

Have I mentioned to ya'll about the dairy-o-rama I have going on over here?

It all started wif the greek yogurt (yum) and then the splash of milk in me tea. Well, yesterday I had.......get ready fer it......vanilla ice cream!!!!! :D Regular ole' store bought ice cream (gluten status checked )

Today, I graduated to half and half in me tea--and I've had no reactions yet!

So here's the thing--I went dairy free even before I knew about Celiac. I thought it would help wif me stomach probs. Anyway, the doc that did me phirst endo like 4 years ago told me to "begin the gluten-free and lactose free diet", and the crackpot, er Kinesiologist I saw also said I was "allergic" ....so I phigured I should just stay away from it.

But, I keep having this nagging feeling that when you think about it, I had no real basis to be dairy free, and believe it or not, I've never tested it out-- and since I really missed it after like 5 years, I decided to give it a try. Sorry fer the long, boring story......

Next up, cheese!!! I pheel so empowered!!!

If I suddenly disappear, you can assume the other shoe has dropped and the whole thing backfired!

[Judyin Philly]

Dad is having major surgery through his back to get at a big cluster of kidney stones that they cannot access laproscopically.

OMG.......wheeled him into the pre-op waiting area this am, and many other seniors were sitting there, waiting also. One lady suddenly says, "Gasp!. . .......Les! I saw you and your wife on the news yesterday!" and the man beside her said, "YES! Happy anniversary to you both!" and the lady beside my mom piped in, "Sixty years!" And on it went, all these nurses suddenly crowding in, saying they had seen them both. . . .... Unbelievable that so many arbitrary people watch these local newscasts....... .

So, I left to go park, my dad telling everyone how the 60th wedding anniversary is traditionally Diamond. I hear him say, "So, I thought, jeez, I should get her the gift of a lifetime. So I bought her thirteen diamonds. I bought her a deck of cards".......

this is truly amazing.

hope the surgery is over and he is doing great

what a sense of humor his has.

hi buddies

been on the porch again today.

pretty day out just wish the 'quivers' would stop.

too much else to comment on.....sorry buds

[jerseyangel]

hope the surgery is over and he is doing great

I know--hoping it's over and Em's dad is resting comfortably

Sorry bout the continuing quivers, Judith

[Mtndog]

Bunnie- Have phun at the cape! (insertgreenjealousface) I wanna know where you go, what you do (and how many small children you scare)

Nikki said cod piece SODA WITH GLUTEN- BAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And poopy cow on the washing machine!

Judee- Your posts :lol:x25..........stay OFF the weed!!!!!! Dude...........

Lisa- I am SO on your IBTC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gianknit- Can I has the doggie drugs? Maybe I'll get me phunny back!

Suze- Your insomnia has made you over the moon phunny........get some rest!

All this talk of shaving.ahhh....it's going to be in the 80's this weekend. My legs are very very very :ph34r:

Em- Poopy cow on yer dad's stones

The chin hair faerie :lol: If you all only knew how hairy I am, you'd think *I* was the yeti! Well Piddle-Me-Ree, I'm so darn hairy

((((((((((HUGS))))))))))) for our wee beautiful Allo!

OH gawd.TROUSER TROUT got the first audible laff out of me all day I LOVE TROUSER TROUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh psillies- I have naught a psilly in me. Want to curl up in ball and cry. Went and bought flowers for future plating and they are all on my window sill looking beautiful but *noreaction*. I just feel so sad I hate April!!!!!!!!!!

[jerseyangel]

I LOVE TROUSER TROUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Uh....good to know Bev....

I know April is hard for you It's almost May and you'll soon start enjoying yer pretty phlowers

[curlyfries]

look sills, how delirious I am - how I spelled "rode" - - "road" I highlighted it in red and left it :snackl:

I'm so used to psilly pspelling, I didn't even notice! ........was thinkin......Why the heck is it red???

Talkin about all the things left in Houston.....I've managed to find a couple of pounds......

Hey!!!!....you got me boobies stashed on you somewhere?

translation:

"Please, stay out of my garden. No more flowers in cans. Your thumbs are too small."

Awesome!!!!

Hmmmmm.....thought I quoted the an dats de twoof.........

In high school I played Edith Anne for the talent show. Me mum was preggers......an oopsie......and the dog was too.

So I wrote my script about knowing where babies come from

I had a giant sized chair, too...........must find picture

[curlyfries]

Forgot to mention..........just luuuurve Em's retirement home connections to psilly stories

........you should write a sit-com

[jerseyangel]

Hey!!!!....you got me boobies stashed on you somewhere?

I pocketed 'em when you wasn't looking

And this is so true--Emmel should write a sitcom!

[Jestgar]

Brandy in me hot milk, you Silly Bundt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thought this said 'Brandy me in hot milk'.

Dunno how you'd do that, but it sounds like something I'd like to try.

Alrighty. If any of youse was thinking that putting up insulation would be a fun project, let me disabuse of that idea right now. I am exhausted....itchy...my fingertips hurt...and I still need to put up more.

On the upside, I've probably put enough staples into that room to block spy satellites, so my sunroom options have opened up.

[DingoGirl]

Yeah--I'm a Texas-sized buffoon

phergot to comment on this earlier - cracked me up

Alfred J. Prufrock (sp?)

um..........shall I google this? who is dis man? does he have large thumbs and a sombrero??????????????????

Today, I graduated to half and half in me tea--and I've had no reactions yet!

Next up, cheese!!! I pheel so empowered!!!

If I suddenly disappear, you can assume the other shoe has dropped and the whole thing backfired!

Pad - T, am just THRILLED with this new dairy adventure you are on. I really think you will be okay - your villi are healed after all this time (WHOT???? an actual celiac topic covered on this thread? just keepin' it real, pholks)

I think it'll work Do you have a Trader Joe's nearby? Their Rainbow something-or-other vanilla ice cream is to die for!!!!!!!!!

hi buddies

been on the porch again today.

pretty day out just wish the 'quivers' would stop.

too much else to comment on.....sorry buds

Judith I will pray your quivers stop...........so sucky!!!!!!!!!!!!! How's the porch coming along? How's the packing?

ARE YOU GOING TO STOP IN CLOVIS FOR THE NIGHT TO STAY WITH ME ON YER WAY TO TEMECULA??????????????????

or at the very least, for a glass of cheap wine cup of tea??????????

Bunnie- Have phun at the cape! (insertgreenjealousface) I wanna know where you go, what you do (and how many small children you scare)

Nikki said cod piece SODA WITH GLUTEN- BAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And poopy cow on the washing machine!

Judee- Your posts :lol:x25..........stay OFF the weed!!!!!! Dude...........

Lisa- I am SO on your IBTC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gianknit- Can I has the doggie drugs? Maybe I'll get me phunny back!

Suze- Your insomnia has made you over the moon phunny........get some rest!

All this talk of shaving.ahhh....it's going to be in the 80's this weekend. My legs are very very very

Em- Poopy cow on yer dad's stones

The chin hair faerie If you all only knew how hairy I am, you'd think *I* was the yeti! Well Piddle-Me-Ree, I'm so darn hairy

((((((((((HUGS))))))))))) for our wee beautiful Allo!

OH gawd.TROUSER TROUT got the first audible laff out of me all day I LOVE TROUSER TROUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh psillies- I have naught a psilly in me. Want to curl up in ball and cry. Went and bought flowers for future plating and they are all on my window sill looking beautiful but *noreaction*. I just feel so sad I hate April!!!!!!!!!!

I know you hate April....only a few days left, luv.

but - I DO protest - you have not lost ONE OUNCE of Psilly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yer whole post really delighted me and provided a GUFFAW

Love you, Bevel

Love surge for all me sills

as, I am alone again, on a Friday night, having turned down offers from men with tiny thumbs and who don't speak my language

Hmmmmm.....thought I quoted the an dats de twoof.........

In high school I played Edith Anne for the talent show. Me mum was preggers......an oopsie......and the dog was too.

So I wrote my script about knowing where babies come from

LEESARGH!!!!!!!! first of all, just love seeing you here

but...............the DOG was an OOPSIE?????? your mom had a DOG??????? I'll say taht was an oopsie

and yes, post the pic!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EMMEL - how is your dad doing? surgery over by now........he will no doubt be harassing the nurses toute suite!!!!!!!!!!

Alrighty. If any of youse was thinking that putting up insulation would be a fun project, let me disabuse of that idea right now. I am exhausted....itchy...my fingertips hurt...and I still need to put up more.

On the upside, I've probably put enough staples into that room to block spy satellites, so my sunroom options have opened up.

x 50

but what in hell are you insulating? yer whole attic? walls? WOT????????? and......are you worried about the spy satellites? *snigger*

I am going to wrap my water heater in some bubble thingy I saw on Oprah.

Recently, I met a guy who thinks California is the WORST state he has ever lived in, and Californians are the WORST sort of people. x 500

I can't totally disagree. We are flakes. Kooks. Nuts.

Why am I thinking of this now? Oh...Geoss's insulation and........I was thinking about all the recycling I do. This guy is not a recycler. Thinks it's stupid.

Them's fightin' words around here.

My disposal is broken. Dirty water and leftover foodstuffs are floating in my sink and leaving a disgusting filth residue. :gagface: makes me sick.......MUST buy one tomorrow....

I forgot everything else. Am drinking cheap red wine.

PSILLIES - come and play????????

[DingoGirl]

Mimms-y,

Alfred J Prufrock? (was that what it said?)

Is he a KAT from T.S. Elliot?

SILLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am tipsy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but - - -I will NAE let my spelling lapse as Jess did last week............

:lol:

because, I'll only stay tipsy, and not get fully DRUNK

(but why not?)

well, for health and sanity purposes.

<arguing with self>

[mimommy]

From:

The Lovesong of Alfred J. Prufrock By T.S. Elliot...

Do I dare

Disturb the universe?

In a minute there is time

For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse...

For I have known them all already, known them all:

Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;

I know the voices dying with a dying fall

Beneath the music from a farther room.

So how should I presume?...

I am no prophet

[jerseyangel]

Alas Suz--I'm home alone tonight, too....Mark out to dinner wif visiting bigwig.....I had cheese on me hamburger!! I'm absolutely over the moon and so gleephul to eat cheese again! I wanna come over and drink wine wif you

Watching HGTV (addicting) and just talked to Matt on the phone :D

I saw about half of Wife Swap :o that guy from Texas was a real pompus a$$, if you want my opinion.......anybody else catch it?

[DingoGirl]

From:

The Lovesong of Alfred J. Prufrock By T.S. Elliot...

Do I dare

Disturb the universe?

In a minute there is time

For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse...

For I have known them all already, known them all:

Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;

I know the voices dying with a dying fall

Beneath the music from a farther room.

So how should I presume?...

I am no prophet

[DingoGirl]

Alas Suz--I'm home alone tonight, too....Mark out to dinner wif visiting bigwig.....I had cheese on me hamburger!! I'm absolutely over the moon and so gleephul to eat cheese again! I wanna come over and drink wine wif you

GET ON OVER HERE PADT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and ALL sills.........we'd have a blast!!!!!!!!!! House is but 1100 square feet but - a comfy bed, two comfy sofas, and lots of floor space. Two bathrooms.........but if we're eatin' the right food, who needs tons o' bathrooms!???????????????

and.............a CHEESEBURGER??????????? WOT? I haven't had a hamburger in 3.3 years. What in hell kinda bun are you using? I. Would. Cry.

Padt - I LOVE Wife Swap :lol:

such an absolute train wreck - - must turn it on in 1.5 hours

MIMMSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My grandfather's and great-grandfather's names were ALFRED..........

crap............

I think I have to name my Kitteh (whom I've had for four months)

Alfred

Is that okay to do???????? after all this time????????

I am such an drunken Ass Hat

and...........I am wearing MANY stinky, stink-ass "cult" fragrances...........

I think my fragrance obsession is..............waning?

I stinketh :lol:

[flourgirl]

Hey everybody!!! So busy laffing as I catch up....I don't dare try to quote and comment or I'd be typing for hours. Leeeezuh....so glad you're here! Hope you phind some good psilly psoon!

Bevel.....tho' I don't know the "I hate April" story.....sorry your pheelin so blue. I hated winter....all of it, and spring wasn't much better because it was generally so gloomy, cold, summer was so short. I wasn't so far from where you are. WV is better for me....tho' I long for tropical climes. I used to say that I should have been born a tropical plant!!!! Hope your doing better soon.

[jerseyangel]

What in hell kinda bun are you using?

Toast

[flourgirl]

Pah-tay is having a dairy frenzy! Luv it! Sounds a lot like a kid who's been let loose in the candy store. Free-for-allllll! Go for it Pah-tay. Have some ice cream for me, too.

Mimmeo....thanks for sharing the poem. Was nice. The name Alfred ALWAYS brings to mind Alfred E. Newman....."what, me worry?" from Mad magazine. Go figger.

Nite all. Sleep well....that means you Psuessle. I have a niece who would say..."don't let the bed lights bark!" Hugs to all of youse!